It would be the same reason as western women tolerating their husbands cheating on them.Insecrutity, fear of what they would do without the bread winner, not wanting to be on their own with the kids but particuly with thai women, there is no social service to assist them if their husband leaves or they want to leave them, so they stick it out becuase they have no other place to go.

Sad but true. hopefully in the next generation thai women wont have to put up with cheating/abusive husbands & will have the means to go it alone.

Some women wont ever leave a man doing that but you can bet there are a large percent who wishes they could but don't have the abilty or guts to.

I don't think you'll find many on this board agreeing with that statement if they take the time to really analyze it. On the surface it sounds fine but the reason why Thai women have to put up with rotten husbands is because they lack financial opportunities to go it alone. Giving them those financial opportunities means giving everyone in Thailand those economic opportunities and then Thailand becomes a developed country and prices increase to the same level as in the west and Thailand is no longer a cheap vacation or retirement destination. A large percent of the members here would find another place if Thailand became that expensive, and most of the remaining would find they'd lose most of their status and buying power. I don't wish any woman, Thai or otherwise, to have to put up with an abusive husband, but neither do I wish Thailand's economy becomes similar to that of the west anytime in the foreseeable future.

Um, I think that is the point Boo was making?

You must have missed my point or maybe I wasn't clear enough. I was replying to Boo's sentence that I highlighted, "Sad but true. hopefully in the next generation thai women wont have to put up with cheating/abusive husbands & will have the means to go it alone." I don't agree with that because it would mean Thailand would become economically just like the western world and there would be no advantage to going there for me or many of the people on this board if prices were the same as in the west.

I think anyone who takes one bad experience with any women & judges all women of that race as bad is completly shallow & small minded or else needs some kind of counselling. I hope you dont take out your hang ups on your thai wife rcalscop, but I have to wonder, why bother posting in this seciton where mainly western women, that you claim not to be able to even smile at, post?

Comments like yours completly piss me off, do you not think that women get shit on by men, western or otherwise, I know I have, but fortunatly for me, I am able to NOT judge all on those bad ones.

This one goes all ways. There are many Thai women who had a bad experience with a Thai man and then never want to meet another Thai man. Some Thai women meet a farang and have a bad experience and never want to meet another farang. Some western men get burned on a Thai women and then think all Thai women are the same. I think it's not logical to paint everyone in a culture with the same brush, but I think it's commonly done by people especially when they are very traumatized by the ending of a relationship that meant so much to them. So I tend to cut those kind of people some slack, even though I think they're being very narrow minded.

It would be the same reason as western women tolerating their husbands cheating on them.Insecrutity, fear of what they would do without the bread winner, not wanting to be on their own with the kids but particuly with thai women, there is no social service to assist them if their husband leaves or they want to leave them, so they stick it out becuase they have no other place to go.

Sad but true. hopefully in the next generation thai women wont have to put up with cheating/abusive husbands & will have the means to go it alone.

Some women wont ever leave a man doing that but you can bet there are a large percent who wishes they could but don't have the abilty or guts to.

I don't think you'll find many on this board agreeing with that statement if they take the time to really analyze it. On the surface it sounds fine but the reason why Thai women have to put up with rotten husbands is because they lack financial opportunities to go it alone. Giving them those financial opportunities means giving everyone in Thailand those economic opportunities and then "Thailand becomes a developed country and prices increase to the same level as in the west and Thailand is no longer a cheap vacation or retirement destination. A large percent of the members here would find another place if Thailand became that expensive, and most of the remaining would find they'd lose most of their status and buying power. I don't wish any woman, Thai or otherwise, to have to put up with an abusive husband, but neither do I wish Thailand's economy becomes similar to that of the west anytime in the foreseeable future.

Um, I think that is the point Boo was making?

You must have missed my point or maybe I wasn't clear enough. I was replying to Boo's sentence that I highlighted, "Sad but true. hopefully in the next generation thai women wont have to put up with cheating/abusive husbands & will have the means to go it alone." I don't agree with that because it would mean Thailand would become economically just like the western world and there would be no advantage to going there for me or many of the people on this board if prices were the same as in the west.

Kind of a tough attitude to take when facing a woman who is faced with either an abusive husband or no social help at all, isn't it? If you mean what you say then that is probably one of the single most selfish attitude I have heard in a while.

"Don't let the little woman get any kind of independence because it'll ruin it for me".

Nice

Perhaps you should have put the little whistling smiley at the end ?

It would be the same reason as western women tolerating their husbands cheating on them.Insecrutity, fear of what they would do without the bread winner, not wanting to be on their own with the kids but particuly with thai women, there is no social service to assist them if their husband leaves or they want to leave them, so they stick it out becuase they have no other place to go.

Sad but true. hopefully in the next generation thai women wont have to put up with cheating/abusive husbands & will have the means to go it alone.

Some women wont ever leave a man doing that but you can bet there are a large percent who wishes they could but don't have the abilty or guts to.

I don't think you'll find many on this board agreeing with that statement if they take the time to really analyze it. On the surface it sounds fine but the reason why Thai women have to put up with rotten husbands is because they lack financial opportunities to go it alone. Giving them those financial opportunities means giving everyone in Thailand those economic opportunities and then "Thailand becomes a developed country and prices increase to the same level as in the west and Thailand is no longer a cheap vacation or retirement destination. A large percent of the members here would find another place if Thailand became that expensive, and most of the remaining would find they'd lose most of their status and buying power. I don't wish any woman, Thai or otherwise, to have to put up with an abusive husband, but neither do I wish Thailand's economy becomes similar to that of the west anytime in the foreseeable future.

Um, I think that is the point Boo was making?

You must have missed my point or maybe I wasn't clear enough. I was replying to Boo's sentence that I highlighted, "Sad but true. hopefully in the next generation thai women wont have to put up with cheating/abusive husbands & will have the means to go it alone." I don't agree with that because it would mean Thailand would become economically just like the western world and there would be no advantage to going there for me or many of the people on this board if prices were the same as in the west.

Kind of a tough attitude to take when facing a woman who is faced with either an abusive husband or no social help at all, isn't it? If you mean what you say then that is probably one of the single most selfish attitude I have heard in a while.

"Don't let the little woman get any kind of independence because it'll ruin it for me".

Nice

Perhaps you should have put the little whistling smiley at the end ?

Well, maybe I am being selfish, but I'm just being honest and I think that most people on this board would also agree with me if they were also honest. They like Thailand because it's a poor country and it gives them an advantage they don't have back home. I may feel sorry for poor people who have many hardships because of their poverty but that doesn't mean I want Thailand to become a rich country and become just like the west. Everyone has some sort of hardship and you just deal with it the best you can. Since the beginning of civilization there's been poverty and I don't think it will ever be eliminated. It's a necessary "evil" of modern civilization and why shouldn't I take advantage of low prices in a poor country if I have the means to?

Another thing is that I find poor people to be much more pleasant to be around. Well developed economies tend to produce lots of materialistic people who think only of themselves. Poor countries tend to produce people who aren't as materialistic and place more value on families. I grew up in a home with very traditional family values and I find being around poor Thai people to be more to my liking that being around rich westerners.

Wow, we must live in different countries that you don't find Thai people materialistic.

I don't live in Thailand because I want a woman who relies on me (since I am a woman) and I don't live in Thailand because I have more advantages here than I would back home (which I don't) nor do I like to live here because its poor. I live here because my husband is from here and this is where we chose to make our home. If the situation changed in anyway we would move back to the US as we both like it there as well.

But, anyway, its not really what the discussion is about, is it? Not your preference for poverty ridden, down trodden women but the reason some women stick with some men. Its not always economic, some women do choose to kick out unfaithful husbands, but often, I think they keep a cheating man around for fear of being alone.

I think your situation is far from being to what the majority of the board are experiencing. You say Thailand doesn't have any more advantages to you than back home and that you'd like to move back home if the situation changed. Am I not accurate in stating that most of the people on this board who are living in Thailand like it there and see living there as being some sort of an advantage to them? And are the tourists or visitors to Thailand only coming because of Thailand's great beaches and scenery, or are they coming because of those reasons and because it's cheap? A few people on this board may be married to a Thai person and stuck in Thailand against their preference due to the inability to get their spouse a visa, but I think most people with a Thai spouse either like living in Thailand or they get a visa for their spouse to join them back in their home country.

Very few farangs are forced to live in Thailand. Most of them are there because they want to be there because it gives them some advantage. If not, they would leave and go home or to another country that did give them an advantage. Low prices are certainly not the only draw that brings people to Thailand, but it's the combination of low prices and whatever they are seeking that brings them in droves.

I think your situation is far from being to what the majority of the board are experiencing. You say Thailand doesn't have any more advantages to you than back home and that you'd like to move back home if the situation changed. Am I not accurate in stating that most of the people on this board who are living in Thailand like it there and see living there as being some sort of an advantage to them? And are the tourists or visitors to Thailand only coming because of Thailand's great beaches and scenery, or are they coming because of those reasons and because it's cheap? A few people on this board may be married to a Thai person and stuck in Thailand against their preference due to the inability to get their spouse a visa, but I think most people with a Thai spouse either like living in Thailand or they get a visa for their spouse to join them back in their home country.

Very few farangs are forced to live in Thailand. Most of them are there because they want to be there because it gives them some advantage. If not, they would leave and go home or to another country that did give them an advantage. Low prices are certainly not the only draw that brings people to Thailand, but it's the combination of low prices and whatever they are seeking that brings them in droves.

Well, not only are you completely but, if this is aimed at me, then completely off the rails as well!

As a relative newcomer to this section, may I suggest you peruse a few topics before making assumptions about people?

If the "stuck in thailand" because a spouse can't get a visa is aimed at me then I suggest you retract. You don't know me at all, know nothing about me but make assumptions based on your own personal baggage. If you re-read my post I believe I said "we chose to make this our home". We have both been to the US quite a few times and not only has my husband had a green card in the past but he currently holds a ten year visa. So, neither one of us are stuck here in your sense of the word.

We chose to make this our home and if the situation changes we could easily move back to the US, is what I believe I said. If you can't understand this and assume it means I don't like it here or can't adjust well, then again, you know nothing about me. I have lived here over 17 years and think I manage quite well. I don't live here to take advantage of anyone or anything, I live here because it is my home.

Again this topic is not about your personal preconceived notions, nor about your personal preferences and if you really feel the need to discuss peoples motivations then I suggest you open a new topic about it.

So, back to the topic at hand, shall we?

BKK Traveller

I can't really believe what I am reading! Yes many of us are here because of the comfortable lifestyle we can have in Thailand due to is economic status. SBK is not one of those if you had read earlier posts of hers.

But to wish poverty on this country because it suits you is absolutely amazing. I hope for your sake that the shoe is never on the other foot. I don't want to imagine what kind of desperation one must feel when they are trapped in an abusive marriage, supporting two children and perhaps ailing parents. What can they do? Where can they go? There are limited 'shelters' for such women, the law is tipped in the mans favour, there is no social security to help the children and sick parents, no welfare or housing support. Good lord, what a terrible predicament so many women must be in. Stay and take a beating for the benefit of your family or leave and put everyones future in jeopardy? Often these unfortunate souls have no alternative than to begin working in the bar to support all of their dependants, and in some cases, the abuser just switches identities.

I hope that in the near future Thailand can raise itself up and be in a position to help its most needy citizens. I would place battered wives in that area and near the top of the list as the social structure out here puts them in a pivotal role for so many others. The fact that this may then cause me to lower my living standards to remain here is a fact that I will have to get used to.

We are fortunate to come from developed, wealthy nations where our good lifestyle and free education has elevated us to a more humane level. Why do you wish the worst for your hosts just so that you can stay?

Okay.. I am not a mind reader, but I do think some of the comments made by the traveler were not directed to any person in particular in the forum, but rather broad sweeping generalizations (such as the one I made) based on the people they have met/encountered. And the traveler did state “but I think most people with a Thai spouse either like living in Thailand”

And as commented by a poster, “I guess it's the type of people with whom we associate” maybe I need to meet a different group of people.

However, call me dumb, but.. how does elevating people in society and giving them rights cause the price of bread to increase?

Besides, closing tax loopholes would more than pay for shelters.

I am assuming that child support and alimony must not exist in Thailand. Thus creating that, might also alleviate the problem and I will bite my tongue on the rest of my thoughts.

Well, maybe I am being selfish, but I'm just being honest and I think that most people on this board would also agree with me if they were also honest. They like Thailand because it's a poor country and it gives them an advantage they don't have back home. I may feel sorry for poor people who have many hardships because of their poverty but that doesn't mean I want Thailand to become a rich country and become just like the west. Everyone has some sort of hardship and you just deal with it the best you can. Since the beginning of civilization there's been poverty and I don't think it will ever be eliminated. It's a necessary "evil" of modern civilization and why shouldn't I take advantage of low prices in a poor country if I have the means to?

Another thing is that I find poor people to be much more pleasant to be around. Well developed economies tend to produce lots of materialistic people who think only of themselves. Poor countries tend to produce people who aren't as materialistic and place more value on families. I grew up in a home with very traditional family values and I find being around poor Thai people to be more to my liking that being around rich westerners.

Yeah you really are being selfish Bkk traveller.

I am another one of the faithfuls...

But can one of you Ladies out there answer this: If I were to tell the Missus I was going to the park to meet a mate,she would be on guard straight away with a lengthy interrogation.

When we stay in BKK and I tell her I am off to Na Na to get drunk she is not concerned at all.How does that work?

Sorry if a bit off topic.

my guess.. and this is just a guess.. she is not worried about you being in the slight interested in another thai female, as if you had been, you would not have asked her to marry you. Sober or smashed, she has no worries.

Now by Park, I am assuming you mean outside of thailand? In which case she might not really like your friends and may worry that they may be up to no good,

It depends on so many factors actually..

will there be other women there?

will your friends wives/gf's be there?

does she get along with your friends, and do they respect your relationship?

do their gf's or wives respect her and your relationships?

too many factors..

I am another one of the faithfuls...

But can one of you Ladies out there answer this: If I were to tell the Missus I was going to the park to meet a mate,she would be on guard straight away with a lengthy interrogation.

When we stay in BKK and I tell her I am off to Na Na to get drunk she is not concerned at all.How does that work?

Sorry if a bit off topic.

She might be a bit concerned if the 'park' you were referring to was Hampstead Heath!

Sorry if this is a bit baffling to those of you not familiar with London.

my guess.. and this is just a guess.. she is not worried about you being in the slight interested in another thai female, as if you had been, you would not have asked her to marry you. Sober or smashed, she has no worries.

Now by Park, I am assuming you mean outside of thailand? In which case she might not really like your friends and may worry that they may be up to no good,

It depends on so many factors actually..

will there be other women there?

will your friends wives/gf's be there?

does she get along with your friends, and do they respect your relationship?

do their gf's or wives respect her and your relationships?

too many factors..

By "park" I meant the Chumphon Recreation ground, in Thailand.

is it considered abusive to be unfaithful? i think not.

having sex with women you are not in a relationship is just like having a w#nk

asian women understand this concept a lot more rather than western woman, who are taught to view the world through terms of absolute ownership

... having sex with women you are not in a relationship is just like having a w#nk ...

Personally, I think that is a rather disgusting outlook toward women. Thanks for reminding me why I steer clear of the majority of men who make LOS their home.

... having sex with women you are not in a relationship is just like having a w#nk ...

Personally, I think that is a rather disgusting outlook toward women. Thanks for reminding me why I steer clear of the majority of men who make LOS their home.

it's the truth, but if you can't handle it then don't have sex with men you aren't in a relationship with. simple really.

PS it's a man thing, not a man-in-LOS thing

I don't sleep around behind my wifes back and i know that if i did and she found out there would be no second chance. She would leave and to be honest i would not want a wife who thought it was ok for me to sleep with other woman.

I would have stayed single if that was my desire, alot of the Thai woman married to farang tolerate this behaviour because they are uneducated and not self sufficient.

Most Thai woman who tolerate this behaviour from there Thai husbands have been brought up in a society that sees a divorced woman as some sort of second class citizen, quite sad realy.

... having sex with women you are not in a relationship is just like having a w#nk ...

Personally, I think that is a rather disgusting outlook toward women. Thanks for reminding me why I steer clear of the majority of men who make LOS their home.

I dont know why you find that a disgusting attitude towards women? Having sex fulfills a need, so does a wank, that's what he was pointing out, where's the attitude towards women at all?

If you want to wank then wank. Women are not a receptacle for a man's use. They are human beings with feelings and concerns.

That is the disgusting attitude towards women. You don't think it is? Well, I am a woman and I think it is. Kat is a woman and she thinks it is, and most people who are a bit empathetic would find it supremely selfish and self centered.

But, you know, now that i think on it for a bit I realize that this attitude explains alot about LaReina's original post. Perhaps it should be required reading for every woman, just so she knows what to expect, ya see?

And guys, if you have daughters be sure to explain this attitude very carefully to them, OK? I think its probably important that they understand how little respect some men really have for women at all.

I think the last few posts outline the difference between male and female attitudes when it comes to sex.

Women, like it or not.. men can have sex without having any emotional connections with the person. This is not a new revelation, it's how it has been since forever... everybody knows about this.

Some men over do it a little as in that they can be pick 'em up and throw 'em away after, BUT many don't.

totster

I think the last few posts outline the difference between male and female attitudes when it comes to sex.

Women, like it or not.. men can have sex without having any emotional connections with the person. This is not a new revelation, it's how it has been since forever... everybody knows about this.

Some men over do it a little as in that they can be pick 'em up and throw 'em away after, BUT many don't.

totster

In Thailand it's obvious that the male attitude is generally accepted and the norm. I was recently on a business trip upcountry and my female coworkers kept teasing our male coworkers about going out on the prowl at night (though all they were all known to have gfs/wives). No apparent show of disapproval at all.

Funny how the farangs that have been in Thailand for quite a while also adopt the habit.

I think your situation is far from being to what the majority of the board are experiencing. You say Thailand doesn't have any more advantages to you than back home and that you'd like to move back home if the situation changed. Am I not accurate in stating that most of the people on this board who are living in Thailand like it there and see living there as being some sort of an advantage to them? And are the tourists or visitors to Thailand only coming because of Thailand's great beaches and scenery, or are they coming because of those reasons and because it's cheap? A few people on this board may be married to a Thai person and stuck in Thailand against their preference due to the inability to get their spouse a visa, but I think most people with a Thai spouse either like living in Thailand or they get a visa for their spouse to join them back in their home country.

Very few farangs are forced to live in Thailand. Most of them are there because they want to be there because it gives them some advantage. If not, they would leave and go home or to another country that did give them an advantage. Low prices are certainly not the only draw that brings people to Thailand, but it's the combination of low prices and whatever they are seeking that brings them in droves.

Sorry if i am going off topic again, but I think BKK traveller should not be totally scorned because he is just telling the reality of the situation. A lot of Westerners choose to live in Thailand because it is comapratively more comfortable here than in their home countries, ie. the people are friendlier to them and they enjoy a better standard of living. It all boils down to money. From the point of view of a selfish Westerner Thailand is an ideal opportunity to be exploited. He is laso right that the attitudes of Thais perhaps from a rural background can be refreshing compared with our thoroughly modernized western society where personal relationships are always being marginalised in favour of materialistic greed.

It is, however, an extremely unsympathetic view. It is like empathising with a past White planatation owner of the American South who wishes that Africa will never develop as this might hinder him in getting enough slaves. To wish economic poverty on any nation so you can take advantage is ultimate selfishness and from this point of view it is satisfying to know that Thailand will eventually shed its remnants of an agrarian past and emerge as a modernized, westernised country no longer susceptible to western exploitation. But it is overly idealistic to believe that Westerners visisting and living in Thailand are not coming to take advantage of their comparative economic wealth to secure a good life for themselves. That is just human nature.

to be honest egon, I don't think anyone disputed that. Just the rest of it was rather amazingly selfish, I think we have all agreed.

Anyway, as for the other idea that most men think this way. Well, I believe that the men who think this way believe most men think this way and that, then, justifies their attitudes (at least, in their own eyes).

I dont know why you find that a disgusting attitude towards women? Having sex fulfills a need, so does a wank, that's what he was pointing out, where's the attitude towards women at all?

i think i forgot to mention soft music and candles.

Anyway, as for the other idea that most men think this way.

Where was this said sbk ?

totster

If you want to wank then wank. Women are not a receptacle for a man's use. They are human beings with feelings and concerns.

That is the disgusting attitude towards women. You don't think it is? Well, I am a woman and I think it is. Kat is a woman and she thinks it is, and most people who are a bit empathetic would find it supremely selfish and self centered.

Well its also a realistic point, and just because you and Kat disagree with it, doesn't mean that every woman does.

You need to be a little more open minded SBK, if a man needs to empty his load, he has a choice, a wank or sex, both fulfill the same need. If a woman similarly needs to fulfill this need then they have the same choice.

In one case the man is using a woman, in another case a woman is using a man. If they are consenting, then theres no problem. It would be a disgusting attitude if men thought that was what women were solely for but nobody said that.

The fact is that many men and women have casual sex all the time, for the same basic reason as having a wank. That cannot be denied.

And yes, that after sex feeling for men could be comparable to the after wank feeling men get. We dont all lay there seeing stars and falling in love, the 'when am I going to eat next' thought generally crops up pretty quick to be honest.

Is it meaningful respectful sex everytime a woman has a one night stand? Or is that a woman using a man for a need? Is that as disrespectful as when a man uses a woman for the same thing?

I guess we'd all be better more respectful human beings if we just lied about it more. I'll have to remember whilst laying there thinking of ordering a pizza to quote some "yeah the earth moved for me' rubbish. It seems thats whats some women love to believe.

Anyway, as for the other idea that most men think this way. Well, I believe that the men who think this way believe most men think this way and that, then, justifies their attitudes (at least, in their own eyes).

Its an attitude that doesn't have to be justisfied. Sometimes the feeling after casual sex is the same feeling a man gets after a wank, quite obviously giving the same main physical action of ejaculation/orgasm has taken place.

I expect you could ask lots of men about this, and many would disagree, but many would be liars as well.

What exactly do women think about after they just had sex with someone they dont really know or love? Would it really be the same as having sex with your husband/bf? Are you telling me women are full of respect for the act and the man afterwards? Give me a break.

i think some people seem to have forgotten that sex is a physical act born out of basic instincts.

when i have sex with my wife it is totally different to having sex with a pro.

the pro experience is just like having a w*nk but without having to put the effort in. it has absolutely no emotional meaning whatsoever.