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There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment. One day he went shopping, his first stop was at a hardware store. He went up to the shop assistant and asked "Could I have a ######et please?"

The assistant asked "Pardon sir?".

"Can I have a ######et please?" Replied the man.

"Oh you mean a bucket!" The shop assistant replied.

The old man said "Yes, that's what I said".

So the man paid for his bucket and went into the antique shop.

In the antique shop he went to the cashier and asked -

"Can I have a cock please?"

The cashier looked very puzzled and asked "Pardon?".

The man again asked "Can I have a cock please?"

The cashier replied "Oh you mean a clock! - yes certainly sir."

So he paid for the clock and walked out of the shop.

The next stop was to the bakers. He went to the assistant and asked "Can I have a bum please?"

The assistant said "Sorry sir what did you say?".

So he repeated himself "Can I have a bum please?".

The assistant said " Oh right, you mean a bun!".

The old man said "Yes that's what I said in the first place."

So the man bought a bun and walked out of the shop.

As he was walking down the street a little old lady came up to him and

asked "Excuse me sir, but do you know the time?"

The man replied "Yes certainly, hold my bum and ######et while I get my cock out." :o

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