An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have;

the older she gets the more interested he is in her.

--Agatha Christie

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Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men

should be happier than others.

--Oscar Wilde

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Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.

--Scottish Proverb

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I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

--Sam Kinison

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A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you fo free.

--Anonymous

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Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.

--H. L. Mencken

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Men have a better time that women; for one thing, they marry

later; for another thing, they die earlier.

--H. L. Mencken

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Marriage is a three ring circus:

--engagement ring

---wedding ring

---suffering

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When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.

When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.

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Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.

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When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

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I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"

She said, "Somewhere I have never been!"

I told her, "How about the kitchen?"

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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"

Following her down the street I yelled,

"No, jump in!"

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BaddTeddy recently explained to me why he refuses to ever get married. He says "the wedding rings look too much like minature handcuffs....."

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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?

The Dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in!

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Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.

After marriage, the "y" becomes silent.

Bozo, don't live up to your name...great jokes, but keep em all in the same thread, much easier to read. I am sick of opening your joke topics, so I have missed a lot of them. What a shame.

you will end up with the same amount of posts.

Got it, thanks for the advice !

Will adapt adequately...

HEHE nothing personal mate, just much easier to read.

GREAT JOKES, keep em coming dude