Snappy Answer

[the gentleman]

Snappy Answer #1 A flight attendant was stationed at the departuregate to

check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket; he opened his trenchcoat & flashed her. Without missing a beat she said,"Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."

Snappy Answer #2 A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

Snappy Answer #3 The cop got out of his car & the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

Snappy Answer #4 A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads "Low bridge ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him & he gets stuck under the bridge.

Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of

his car & walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips &

says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge

& ran out of gas."

Snappy Answer #5 - (THE TEACHER - Snappy Answer OF THE

YEAR) A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow'sfinal exam. "Now

class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might

consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in

your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-*** guy in the back of the room raised his hand & asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete & utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, & sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."