Refused to pay for Thai gf's flight to Europe and now she's mad. Am I being unreasonable?

[khunpa]

Look, if you and her make the same amount of money then you simply share the expenses, if you think that is right.

If you want to make sure you are not scammed, when it comes to Thai-girls, then simply just always think "What would I do, if it was a girl from my own country?"

If you Thai-girl loves you, then she will understand and respect your principles.

[Tchooptip]

OP, stop being a cheap Charlie and pay the girls ticket.

Not only that but upgrade it to 1st class.........you can travel on economy.

Show her, what a loving husband you will become in the future.

As we all know, money is no object for us rich farangs.

then you pay it, he already told you he aint rich

If he ain't rich he is wrong anyway

Edited January 6, 2015 by Tchooptip

[wvavin]

If you know your own limited financial standing, you should not even talk or discuss anything pertaining to this "Europe Trip" in the first place. She should be informed that the trip is on-Dutch right from the start and not until when she or both of you are preparing to go. No prejudice on this but I feel you should pay or just leave her because you cannot sustain her lifestyle.

[yellowboat]

You probably should have brought up air fare from the start.

[SOTIRIOS]

...get used to it....or move on.....it will not stop there.....

[realenglish1]

Well I have been with my Girlfriend now for over 7 year and we just went to Europe in December. I paid the airline ticket but she gave me 10,000 baht to go towards expenses

Work something out with her Talk to her about expenses and she how she is with it

[Enoon]

Quote:

"I'm actually not able to pay for her flight"

Do you not find the fact that she is getting "mad" at you, because you are unable to live up to her financial expectations, unnattractive and an ominous portent for the future?

[thejcb]

Leave it in Thailand, there are more than enough foreigners here already. We don't need to import any more.

[Loles]

I don't know which is the good way, just think about what would you did in your home country with your western gf in similar situation. And do same.

[KhnomKhnom]

She owns all of what you want. Pay up, skinflint.

[MrTee]

I think we should all have a whip..

whose in?

Imma gonna save all my 1 baht changes I get from breakfasts..

[Luxfare]

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OP-

Don't be so hard on yourself and for <deleted>'s sake man up and don't be such a sucker. She's your girlfriend not your wife or your family, she's got no claim to your cash. The facts are that you've got no leverage on her and frankly Thai women have a nasty habit of being theives and con artists. If you want to be a nice guy, you could offer to pay for 100% the meals and drinks in Europe (a significant expense). If she wont accept the terms, get a new girlfriend and count your blessing all the way to the bank.

Please dont be naive and think "she's different", please be careful and keep your money close.

gb33

Yeah thanks this is what I was thinking.

That's why I've been always careful with Thai girls and usually refuse to pay for for their shit - this is a good way to see what is their motivation to be with you in the first place. Works every time! The thing is I have only known this girl for a few months which is why im just being careful.

I don't want to invest any money on her before I can 100% trust her.

Only a few months and she expects you to take her to Europe?????? Run, run and don't look back.

[CharlieH]

Champagne taste on a beer income. Wake up and stop living beyond your means.

[Nakajima]

Unfortunately you did not provide enough data to make call. One would need to know how long you 2 have been together, what kind of relationship you have, your age, and many other stuff.

It is really difficult to give advise in this kind of matters and I don't think you should be listening too much to what anyone here is telling including me. Be aware that many here could have a cynical prospective of love affairs.

Just look inside yourself and think very hard before you make a choice that could mean a turn around of your relationship in good or bad.

[gigman]

I can see 2 things here.

1.She is not really after you mate....because of her behaviour. ( to be mad because someone can not afford things??? )

2. She doesn't even imagine that she will cost you even more when in Europe...then a ticket alone. (my g/f ticket costs 1200 doll. but 2 weeks in Aus costs me 3000 doll.

She just wants to be there same way her friends were in similar case.

********

if she is after you then she could be sad ...not mad.

Just imagine how many new g/f's you can have for all this money you will save instead of paying whole her vacation.

Her last chance....??

tell her 50/50 and see her behaviour

I am sure you will have new g/f very soon.

Please don't forget that there is huge gap in our cultures .....

What if she will hate this unfortunate trip and your country including cold weather ?????

Edited January 6, 2015 by gigman

[John1thru10]

This has no place, it's nonsense.

[Sadana]

It sounds more that you are just dating her than that she is your GF. If she is your girlfriend you should pick up the check more often and at least pay half of the ticket. If you think that is too much you should find a girlfriend in your country. I doubt if that would be cheaper

[jimmym40]

I guess it all depends on how serious you are with the girl. I guess a simple thing to do and tell her is, I'll pay half and you pay half. If you're going to get a lot of benefit from her visit (you know what I mean - companionship) then, I'd say pay for the total cost of the ticket...

[Yoshimura]

I don't think you are being unreasonable but before I go any further, did you invite her to on your trip to Europe? I guess maybe you would have to refresh her thoughts on where you stand financially. I am sure she is going more for her benefit than yours, so don't give into the guilt and I am sure she will try and make you feel guilty.

[ThePlant]

I think 'Fitfarang' isn't telling all here.

Either put the trip on hold until your 'student loan days' are behind you or you start to get more hits on your blog/you tube, get this 'well paid 'office worker' to dip her hand in her pocket. I'm sure she'd relish the chance to show she's not a 'farang money chaser' like those nasty bar girls.

There is no point in posting for advice, giving only a fraction of the truth, leaving people to work in the dark, then getting arsey over people's speculations and reading between the lines......

So, come on, as Sherlock Holmes would say ''give us ALL the facts, omit no detail no matter how small'' and then we'll see what we can do for you. I smell a troll pretending to have an income and a 'real' girlfriend here, hoping to get the chance to have a pop at the 'sad old men' with regular and decent incomes here....

[gandalf12]

Sounds like a cheap skate. She should ditch him

[Gecko123]

OP:

It has been my long-term observation that guys who take a financial arm's length approach to the woman in their life quite often receive back a similar arm's length treatment from the woman when it comes to sex.

I think that this is because when there is no intimacy or sharing about money it has a dampening effect on the woman's sense of intimacy and sharing in the bedroom.

Not saying this happens to everyone, but because you say you're still a young man, you might want to give this some consideration.

Edited January 6, 2015 by Gecko123

[RT85]

i think it's quite common for the thai guys to pay for everything.. perhaps that's what she is used to?

it is quite a thai thing.

haha

[neverdie]

Champagne taste on a beer income. Wake up and stop living beyond your means.

Says the guy who always gets the big 99 baht brekkie when he should opt for the 69 baht one. What about the time you tried to negotiate a 5 baht discount for washing your own plate. 55555. Priceless sir CharlieH.

[georgemandm]

Welcome to thailand if you want a thai gf you have to pay ok or go back home by your self this is thailand and the farlang pays if I we to take my thai to Australia I would pay for her and if you have no money then don't go out with thai woman .

[cordaci]

Got super drunk before christmas and bought ex falang gf bussiness class to come see me here in thai Obv massive regret next day when i woke up.

Had the best holidays ever with her and thai gf sleeping same bed.

So stop beeing a cheap <deleted> and buy your gf a plane ticket. Can prob find offers for like 500€ or so 2 way if you know where to look.

Oh and stop listening to old rusty expats on tv lol. YOLO bro.

Edited January 6, 2015 by cordaci

[starky]

Is she a good sort mate? If so I will happily cover her airfare just tell me where you are in Europe and I will take her on odds and you can have her on evens. Truth is you never lose your girl only your turn and if your struggling for freight now chances are you will be sharing her with someone in the future eh?

[brewsterbudgen]

How did she get a Visa for europe ,the old saying no money no honey ,of course you pay for her ,man up join the real world ,you should not be playing with thai ladies ,they can be very dangerous ,western student ,best stay with western student ,i would say she will find someone that will be more than happy to pay for her if she looks good ,thats does not seem to matter these days ,life is all a deal

Good point. When she applied for the visa, where did she declare that the funds were to come from? Financial records are normally required, from the applicant or her sponsor, to show that the trip is affordable. Someone must have the money to pay for it!

[Kudel]

Not sure here.. i mean i also have shared cost with the gf. However a trip to Europe would be fun for you and if she is doing it just for you then why should she pay. You want her to visit Europe and such. I know that I always pay for tickets, its not her fault my family lives in Europe.

No it was actually her suggestion - she wants to come because she's always wanted to see Europe.

I wouldn't personally mind just coming to Thailand instead for the holidays, but of course a trip to Europe with her would be fun.

She is using her friends as comparisons, who have +10 year old farang boyfriends with big incomes who of course pay for their trips. However I'm still a student and living on a similar budget as herself, but in a country where most things are twice as expensive as in Thailand. And someone said about not getting paid for holidays.. it will be paid annual leave combined with public holidays for her so she is indeed getting paid.

Op what about obtaining a shengen visa for her?you or she have to show proof of finances and hotel bookings or rental contract or proof you have a place to stay for her in europe or in some cases she has to produce a letter from her employer stating she can take leave for said holiday and come back to work when returning to Thailand etc.....

And i think the wages you guys have it will be a no.....or somebody from your family wil have to guarantee for her.

[khunPer]

»What do you think? Am I being unreasonable?«

Yes...