maybe i have a child (need advice)

[marino28]

Good night,

in short this is my story.

in 2013 i meet a thai lady in Europe (never pay she). I was there for a short trip. We stay together some time in april 2013 and after in may.

After that, i never hear about she again since yesterday.

I find she on facebbok and she inform me that actually she live back in thailand, that she have a daughter at the end of 2013 and that she think is mine. She told me that she lost my phone number and she tried to contact me with not succes (possibile since i did not have facebook ecc since yesterday...)

she also send me a lot of picture of the child and i have to admitt that she look like me.

Now i am living in thailand too, but i stay with mu girlfrined for more than 1 year already...

So what you will do if is me?

i am actually thinking to invite are and the child in bangkok and do a paternity test (any suggestion where?) and after that i will decide what to do...

if i do a test and it will show she is my daughter she will become that automatically or not?

for sure i want to take care of she , if is really my daughter but first i also want to know the mother a little bit more since i meet she only maybe 20 days in 2013...

is pretty funny story, but is actually the truth.

thanks for advice and infomration.

[Mario2008]

You must make your own decision on what you will do.

If you take a test and she indeed turns out to be your daughter she I not automatically your daughter. You would need to go to court to become the legal father of the child and at that time will get parental rights together with the mother. (Unless the mother objects to that, than the judge will decide whether you will also get parental rights).

[marino28]

ok thanks, but if she is really my child. But i decide first to not recognize her (becose i want to know the mother a bit better)

with that dna test she can do something or not?

i want to take my responsabilty, but at the same time i don't want to go to quick...

[Mario2008]

With or without the DNA test she can file for a paternity suit, asking a judge to determine that you are the legal father and thus should pay child support. The DNA test makes it easier to proof her case that you are indeed the father (if that is what the test shows).

[NickJ]

Your kid.....dont run, man up......doesnt cost much to be responsible here. I hate dead beats that shirk the biggest responsibility of the planet

[marino28]

so this is the plane.

I will meet she on saturday, and on sunday we will go back in bangkok and after we will do the Dna test.

What you think i have to bring with me? I have to buy some gifts for the parents of she?

what you suggest?

thanks

[Mario2008]

Flowers or some chocolates or such will do nicely. You are just meeting them for the first time with no strings attached.

[Boo]

I personally wouldn't bring a gift. You are not a couple, her parents are not your concern. Just have the DNA test first, see the results then think about forming long relationships with the family for the benefit of the child. But until then just be polite & civil.

[arthurwait]

Short pregnancy.

[ttthailand]

You have my respect already by just seeing if the child is yours. Do the right thing and you will sleep well at night. That does not mean to marry the girl if you are not in love it means to be there to help support the child. Good luck !

[recycler]

so this is the plane.

I will meet she on saturday, and on sunday we will go back in bangkok and after we will do the Dna test.

What you think i have to bring with me? I have to buy some gifts for the parents of she?

what you suggest?

thanks

Bring your DNA ;-)

Try to find out more about her and the background, was it really that difficult to reach you before you had facebook?

Maybe she has a reason to contact you now and not sooner.

Good luck with your current girlfriend of 1 year, did you tell her already? May not be taken so easily, she may put up a fight.

Lets hope you like the mother and that there are no corpses in the closet... could take a few years to find that out.

[Matthew2027]

Why don't people wear condoms for these 'pleasures of the flesh'????? AND not only to prevent pregnancies !

[godden]

so this is the plane.

I will meet she on saturday, and on sunday we will go back in bangkok and after we will do the Dna test.

What you think i have to bring with me? I have to buy some gifts for the parents of she?

what you suggest?

thanks

A condom.

[nithisa78]

You might also want to pray, for guidance. This isn't supposed to be so complicated.

[ggt]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

Why don't people wear condoms for these 'pleasures of the flesh'????? AND not only to prevent pregnancies !

No...actually many do not....

[maprao]

Where in Europe are you from op?

[Wasima]

Why don't people wear condoms for these 'pleasures of the flesh'????? AND not only to prevent pregnancies !

Don't judge... with or without condoms, kids are born. He's trying to do the right thing here.

[micmichd]

I would leave it up to the daughter.

If she likes you and you like her, then I would not need to know whether I am the biological father or not, and simply accept her as my child. If you care for the daughter and later on someone else comes up and claims to be the biological father, you would be able to sue him for compensation.

The mother will be on the side of the one that cared for her child when no one else was there, and one day you might need one of them to care for you.

Edited May 5, 2015 by micmichd

[smotherb]

Short pregnancy.

Yeah, together in April-May 2013 and baby born end of 2013--7 or 8 months?

[DefaultName]

so this is the plane.

I will meet she on saturday, and on sunday we will go back in bangkok and after we will do the Dna test.

What you think i have to bring with me? I have to buy some gifts for the parents of she?

what you suggest?

thanks

Take a nice toy for the child, whether she's yours or not, toys are always appreciated & used. Also, that wouldn't send the wrong signals to the mother as a present for her or for her parents might.

[catman20]

its the same old story, Thai girl has baby with farang cos he will take care, have it on ur toes, in Thai law you have no say about this child so let her get on with it if ur not interested

[ALFREDO]

Where in Europe are you from op?

It seems, he is Italian.

[ALFREDO]

I will meet she on saturday, and on sunday we will go back in bangkok and after we will do the Dna test.

Short pregnancy. width=32 alt=coffee1.gif>

Short pregnancy. width=32 alt=coffee1.gif>

Yeah, together in April-May 2013 and baby born end of 2013--7 or 8 months?

OP, your April meeting date is wrong or your short time GF got her Baby much to soon, or its not yours, more likely?

Here is DNA Testing place, where the DNA is tested in the USA and which I used once.

http://www.easydnathailand.com/

Will send in PM also, if not allowed to show here.

[bureaucrazy]

Short pregnancy.

Yeah, together in April-May 2013 and baby born end of 2013--7 or 8 months?

Personally, I'd get to the bottom of this before you went through the whole paternity test thing.

[Toscano]

I don't know where you are from , but I think you are taking a very western attitude towards parenting and child support .

This is Thailand , where attitudes are very different . Many girls have a child out of wedlock and like as not her parents will be left to look after it , while she will have a job , maybe at Bangkok far from home . You do not have to take on parenting unless you really want to . I think you are digging an unecessary pit for yourself to fall into ; you weren't concerned enough to wear a condom in 2013 , so why concern yourself now .

[micmichd]

I don't know how old you are. In case you're older than 50 years, you should seriously ask yourself if you really want a baby of your own.

I decided for vasectomy when my former German gf permanently yelled for a baby, no nice environment for a baby to grow up in Germany. Before I expatriated to Thailand I fell in love with a Thai lady who already raised a baby. No need for me to go through the pamper stage again, my gf's daughter is a nice and healthy young girl, so I accept her as if she would be my own. And everybody's quite happy with this.

[puppy009loko]

the more they get older the more Thai ^prostitute^ are smart and dangerous. WATCH OUT

Make a DNA test for th child but make sure you go alone and you do speak by yourself to the doctor cause i know another farang he got bluffed his gf paied off the doctor to falsify the DNA test and he kept taking care of the boy until he found out the truth!!!!!!!!!!! i tell you again WATCH OUT from all Thai ladies, the best you did is have a free short relation and then turn your back, but do you think Thai lady will let you go so easily?????hahaha we are a mine of gold for them and they hate loosing means been for free with a farang will make them loose face infront of their family and friends. for the last time i tell you WATCH OUT

[micmichd]

Find out what is more important for you: Spreading you genes or get a permanent woman with a family that take care of you.

Forget about labels like "prostitute"

If you define prostitution as giving up the right to determine about your own body for family, then the majority of Farang women should be labelled as prostitutes.

Feel free to come up with a better definition.

[marino28]

i am actually less then 30

and if i am corret form begining of april to end of dicember are actually almost 9 months

anyway now she is with me for few days with the child to know them a bit more.

my (thai) gf decided to go away when the other one come...

and just for make it clear this lady that make the child, was not and is not a prostitute. I am sure about that, and i can say that she also did not have sex for quite a few time (.... was really block...)

regarding the dna test i was thinking to do that in bkk , but i will have a look at that site. Look like is something easier.

Thanks everybody for the advice.

Edited May 6, 2015 by marino28

[GOLDBUGGY]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

You must make your own decision on what you will do.

If you take a test and she indeed turns out to be your daughter she I not automatically your daughter. You would need to go to court to become the legal father of the child and at that time will get parental rights together with the mother. (Unless the mother objects to that, than the judge will decide whether you will also get parental rights).

I agree. But if the tests turn out positive, and she is in fact your daughter, it does open the door for future Child Support. But since you mentioned that if she is your daughter you want to help, then okay.

Be careful in wanting to know the Mother better while you are already in a serious relationship. You really don't need to know the mother better. You need to know your daughter better. But both should come with time.