Jokes

[A. BOOZER]

Einstein, Picasso and George W Bush all die and go to heaven.

At the Pearly Gates, St Peter says: "You look like Einstein, but you have no idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into heaven. Can you prove who you really are?"

Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?"

St Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his theory of relativity.

St Peter is suitably impressed.

"You really are Einstein!" he says. "Welcome to heaven!"

The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again, St Peter asks for credentials.

"Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?" asks Picasso.

"Go ahead," says St Peter.

Picasso erases Einstein's equations and sketches a truly stunning mural with just a few strokes of chalk.

St Peter claps.

"Surely you are the great artist you claim to be!" he says. "Come on in!"

Then St Peter looks up and sees George W Bush.

St Peter scratches his head and says: "Einstein and Picasso both managed to prove their identity. How can you prove yours?"

George W Bush looks bewildered and says: "Who the ###### are Einstein and Picasso?"

St Peter sighs and says: "Come on in, George."

[kurgen]

This is an old one,but I still love it

Princess Di ,Freddy Mercury and Gianni Versace get to the Pearly Gates.

"I'm sorry,we're full" says St Peter."Only one of you can come in,so sell your selves to me"

Freddy Mercury steps forward."I can't say I've always been a good man,but I have brought happiness to millions of people with my singing and I could do the same in Heaven,please let me in"

"Gianni's up next."I can't say I've always been a good man either,but my designs have brought happiness to millions of people and I could do the same in Heaven,please let me in.

Princess Di's up next.She doesn't say a word.She takes her knickers off ,lays down and proceeds to pour a bottle of soda inside herself.She then stands,lets it drain and looks St Peter in the eye.

He nods,moves aside and lets her through the hallowed gates.

"Why the <deleted> did you let her in,she didn't say a word" the other 2 scream.

"It's simple" says St Peter " everybody knows a royal flush beats a pair of queens"