Need Wedding Ceremony Advice (non religious) - Udon Thani Area

[coolhand53089]

Hi all - My wife and I are living in Udon Thani. She is Thai & I'm American. We're already legally married by the amphur & the US Embassy and everything.

Now we want to do an actual ceremony. I'm trying to find out if there is anyone in the Udon Thani area who handles wedding services. I just want to make this as cheap as I possibly can, since I support both of us on my VA disability income. So I don't have money to do anything fancy.

We want it very small and private. She is maybe having like 5 people from her side, and I might have about 3 people coming from America (if I'm lucky). I don't want it to be religious at all in any way, as I personally do not believe in any kind of religion or monks or priests. Just a non-religious, very small, Very Cheap... wedding ceremony.

Can anyone please help me out, or direct me on where to go for this? I am also open to going to Koh Larn or something like that - but only if I can can keep it Very Low Budget. Give me some advice please.

[beachproperty]

The Thai ceromony for a wedding is usually done by a monk (buddhist).....so as for a non-religous ceremony (although buddhism is not really a religion its just a way of life) ...really not sure what your on about, as filing with the amphur is about as non-religous as you can get.

[lopburi3]

Can only echo above - the registration is the marriage. Ceremonies are religious customs. Why not allow your wife to arrange something and not worry about religion - Buddhist offerings and diner party if she/family are Buddhist - it really is not religious as we understand religion.

[coolhand53089]

From what she tells me about a Thai wedding - she says that has a lot of people and involves me giving out money (which I do not have at all) - so she said a Thai wedding is probably not good for me.

[coolhand53089]

The Thai ceromony for a wedding is usually done by a monk (buddhist).....so as for a non-religous ceremony (although buddhism is not really a religion its just a way of life) ...really not sure what your on about, as filing with the amphur is about as non-religous as you can get.

Yeah, ideally I just want some kind of tourist style wedding. Very small and very cheap. I know they have people that handle that type of thing in Pattaya any way you like it. But I'm trying to see if I can do it closer to Udon Thani.

Definitely not looking for a Buddhist wedding, but I am open to the idea if it is inexpensive and quick. I'm more co concerned with having a wedding celebration. The ceremony is for my wife, but she wants to do a ceremony that I can enjoy too.

Would be great if we could do it on a beach. But very quick and very inexpensive are my key things. I am open to going near Pattaya or Koh Larn also. Just not expensive. I have no savings and a small monthly income from the VA.

[coolhand53089]

Can only echo above - the registration is the marriage. Ceremonies are religious customs. Why not allow your wife to arrange something and not worry about religion - Buddhist offerings and diner party if she/family are Buddhist - it really is not religious as we understand religion.

Thanks for the reply! But from what she tells me about a Thai wedding - she says that has a lot of people and involves me giving out money (which I do not have at all) - so she said a Thai wedding is probably not good for me.

[steven100]

Why not just book a table for 10 at some cheap restaurant in town and go for it.

Registering the marriage at the Amphur is already done ........ so just a western style gathering ...

[lopburi3]

If you are talking about having a foreigner run agent provide a package in Pattaya expect you are talking a lot more money than a simple blessing by local monks. Any Thai event can be cheap or expensive - but such events are designed to show wealth - so if money is really tight suspect it would be best to avoid any ceremony - no face is lost (her and her family) if you do not want a party. Trying to do it too cheap might not be a good idea.

[starky]

If you already done the amphur thing your married next choice if you want to do it thai style or just a small service. If you want a small service and need to save maybe you could just take a few select members of the family and go somewhere like nong prajak maybe have a bit of lunch and call it quits. I had the proper Thai style at home for the missus with half the village all the relo's and 5 monks there so costs blew out a bit. That's not to say you couldn't have a small one at home put on a bit of food and drink and have the magic man pop round. In my and I think all cases the.monks do the blessing but another "magic" guy does the ceremony. Regardless it's an awesome and fun day and others have suggested you need to show a little face for your wife. So save up a bit spend what you can and just have fun with it. Good luck mate.

[starky]

From what she tells me about a Thai wedding - she says that has a lot of people and involves me giving out money (which I do not have at all) - so she said a Thai wedding is probably not good for me.

She sent you a curve ball there mate every Thai wedding I have been to, including mine, the guests give money to the bride and groom my missus and I ended up with near 300000 on.the day, but we had a lot of people there. Normally the bride and groom give out some small presents to those that attend but definitely no money

[DLock]

I think you set the record for "cheap", "not expensive" and "low budget" in one email regarding weddings.

What does your wife actually want?

To wear a nice dress and have lots of photos for Facebook and the wall, or a celebration with friends to mark the occasion?

I think you are setting yourself up to disappoint her rather than make her happy. Thai's love big celebrations, flaunting wealth, ceremony and tradition.

Rethink.

[starky]

I think you set the record for "cheap", "not expensive" and "low budget" in one email regarding weddings.

What does your wife actually want?

To wear a nice dress and have lots of photos for Facebook and the wall, or a celebration with friends to mark the occasion?

I think you are setting yourself up to disappoint her rather than make her happy. Thai's love big celebrations, flaunting wealth, ceremony and tradition.

Rethink.

Spot on. Excellent advice the wedding is always ALL about your wife. Also right what you say about That's and all women really when it comes to weddings. The OP says his missus is happy to not have many there but I agree with you what does she really want?

[starky]

I think you set the record for "cheap", "not expensive" and "low budget" in one email regarding weddings.

What does your wife actually want?

To wear a nice dress and have lots of photos for Facebook and the wall, or a celebration with friends to mark the occasion?

I think you are setting yourself up to disappoint her rather than make her happy. Thai's love big celebrations, flaunting wealth, ceremony and tradition.

Rethink.

Spot on. Excellent advice the wedding is always ALL about your wife. Also right what you say about That's and the majority of women really when it comes to weddings. The OP says his missus is happy to not have many there but I agree with you what does she really want?

[keeniau96]

Posters above have said it all. Clearly something your wife wants so give her a fixed budget or just hand her the cash and have her set up the entire thing.

[sipi]

Our wedding in Thailand was a simple one at home. Just family and friends. And the guests normally tie money onto the bride and grooms wrists as well as give money otherwise. As previously mentioned, talk to the wife. The family will help with the preparations but you will have to fork out some money at the beginning.

[coolhand53089]

Sorry to all you guys for not having the finances that you do, but my compensation is less than $900 a month and I have paid for every single expense for both of us since I met her, and I have not complained about that. But now my savings is completely gone and all I have is the army disability compensation. So now it is strictly about living within my means, and I still pay for absolutely everything.

[sipi]

I would still talk to the wife. The family will cook the food. For a dozen friends you can have a nice simple celebration for not a lot of money.

[coolhand53089]

???

Thanks sir, I read you loud & clear.

[cooked]

We killed a pig, had the family cook it, had beer, music and whisky, hired tents and oh yeah, we had two priests (?three?). Spent ฿10 000.-, most of which was pig.

Or are you planning on getting married again?

[northernjohn]

Why not just book a table for 10 at some cheap restaurant in town and go for it.

Registering the marriage at the Amphur is already done ........ so just a western style gathering ...

there is your answer

Sorry to all you guys for not having the finances that you do, but my compensation is less than $900 a month and I have paid for every single expense for both of us since I met her, and I have not complained about that. But now my savings is completely gone and all I have is the army disability compensation. So now it is strictly about living within my means, and I still pay for absolutely everything.

If all you have is $900 a month coming in what kind of a Visa do you have. A retirement one would cost you 40,000 baht a month guaranteed or 400,000 baht in the bank for the marred one. A heck of a lot more for a non married one.

Also a cheap ceremony would in my opinion not really be acceptable to the wife.

[beachproperty]

OP...you say you have no money...OK

But then you indicate you're willing to go to Pattaya/koh larn if need be .....Travel costs? Hotel? ceremony? and small party afterward?...

With what that would cost you ....you can have the local monk (little if no cost) come to your home and bless your union...and then have the family/party guests cook the food ...you buy the beer. That's about as cheap as it's going to get...

Remember as others have said ...this is not about you ...its your wife's day

Edited September 21, 2015 by beachproperty

[coolhand53089]

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Edited September 21, 2015 by coolhand53089

[lopburi3]

Why not just book a table for 10 at some cheap restaurant in town and go for it.

Registering the marriage at the Amphur is already done ........ so just a western style gathering ...

there is your answer

Sorry to all you guys for not having the finances that you do, but my compensation is less than $900 a month and I have paid for every single expense for both of us since I met her, and I have not complained about that. But now my savings is completely gone and all I have is the army disability compensation. So now it is strictly about living within my means, and I still pay for absolutely everything.

If all you have is $900 a month coming in what kind of a Visa do you have. A retirement one would cost you 40,000 baht a month guaranteed or 400,000 baht in the bank for the marred one. A heck of a lot more for a non married one.

Also a cheap ceremony would in my opinion not really be acceptable to the wife.

Wrong - extension of stay for retirement is 800k in bank or 65k monthly income or combination - for marriage it is 400k in bank or 40k per month income. But visa to allow 3 month entry per stay may not require any financials other than trip to another country to obtain.

[Sayonarax]

Hi all - My wife and I are living in Udon Thani. She is Thai & I'm American. We're already legally married by the amphur & the US Embassy and everything.

Now we want to do an actual ceremony. I'm trying to find out if there is anyone in the Udon Thani area who handles wedding services. I just want to make this as cheap as I possibly can, since I support both of us on my VA disability income. So I don't have money to do anything fancy.

We want it very small and private. She is maybe having like 5 people from her side, and I might have about 3 people coming from America (if I'm lucky). I don't want it to be religious at all in any way, as I personally do not believe in any kind of religion or monks or priests. Just a non-religious, very small, Very Cheap... wedding ceremony.

Can anyone please help me out, or direct me on where to go for this? I am also open to going to Koh Larn or something like that - but only if I can can keep it Very Low Budget. Give me some advice please.

have a BBQ and be done with it. How does one have non religious wedding?

[northernjohn]

Why not just book a table for 10 at some cheap restaurant in town and go for it.

Registering the marriage at the Amphur is already done ........ so just a western style gathering ...

there is your answer

Sorry to all you guys for not having the finances that you do, but my compensation is less than $900 a month and I have paid for every single expense for both of us since I met her, and I have not complained about that. But now my savings is completely gone and all I have is the army disability compensation. So now it is strictly about living within my means, and I still pay for absolutely everything.

If all you have is $900 a month coming in what kind of a Visa do you have. A retirement one would cost you 40,000 baht a month guaranteed or 400,000 baht in the bank for the marred one. A heck of a lot more for a non married one.

Also a cheap ceremony would in my opinion not really be acceptable to the wife.

Wrong - extension of stay for retirement is 800k in bank or 65k monthly income or combination - for marriage it is 400k in bank or 40k per month income. But visa to allow 3 month entry per stay may not require any financials other than trip to another country to obtain.

the requirements you mention match mine for permission to stay.

As for the travel to another country remember he only has $900 a month coming in and immigration is cracking down on visa runners. Three month visa not sure if they are available any more. I think maybe in Singapore they are. But then again income might not allow it and how many in a row can you get.

[lopburi3]

Non immigrant O visas are available - the crack downs are on people working here and staying on visa exempt entry rather than obtaining work permits and non immigrant B visa. Not on those with valid visas for entry.

Living in Udon he is only minutes from Laos and the Thai Embassy in Vientiane so trips would not be very costly.

Could things change? Yes but

[sipi]

Hey OP, could a Plan B be to hire a minivan from UT and take your guests (including American) to Nong Khai and have a nice simple wedding meal on the riverbank? There are some little restaurants. Maybe you can hit 2 birds with the same stone; get married and show your guests around a bit. They might want to contribute...

[NOC]

From what she tells me about a Thai wedding - she says that has a lot of people and involves me giving out money (which I do not have at all) - so she said a Thai wedding is probably not good for me.

She sent you a curve ball there mate every Thai wedding I have been to, including mine, the guests give money to the bride and groom my missus and I ended up with near 300000 on.the day, but we had a lot of people there. Normally the bride and groom give out some small presents to those that attend but definitely no money

I was going to chime in here but Starky did it for me!

This would be a huge red flag statement to me! Every girl this side of nowhere knows the guests give the couple money.

You die first, she gets your VA

Chok Dee!

[starky]

Sorry to all you guys for not having the finances that you do, but my compensation is less than $900 a month and I have paid for every single expense for both of us since I met her, and I have not complained about that. But now my savings is completely gone and all I have is the army disability compensation. So now it is strictly about living within my means, and I still pay for absolutely everything.

Don't take it the wrong way mate I wasn't making fun of your financial situation. Most people can relate to times when there is not enough to go round. All I was suggesting was make sure your missus gets the most bang from your buck on this day, as I assume you are only going to do this once. I think Sipi's suggestion of Nong Khai was a good one or possibly a nice lunch somewhere. I live in Udon to but it will be much cheaper to do something at home and get the family to pitch in with the food or whatever. I am guessing your wife's family is aware of your finicials so it shouldn't be a big deal. On a separate note I also am in no way religious at all but I knew it was important for the wife to go the full traditional style so that's what we did. The hours (seriously) of chanting got tedious at times but it was a fun day regardless and it made my wife extraordinarily happy. People with no little money from Isaan are getting married and having ceremonies all the time so there must be hundreds of ways of doing it on the cheap

[sipi]

We were married closer to Bueng Kan ten years or so ago. The family didn't want anything lavish so it was done at home, no monks. What I enjoyed was the funny little things they do. Tying us up with string, shoving boiled eggs into our mouths, all the food and weaved banana leaf things they made with little flowers attached. It didn't cost much but was one of the happiest days of our lives.