This just in:

Burgers Declared Un-Thai by Ministry of Culture

UPress (1 October) --- The Ministry of Culture today announced that beginning 1 November the sale of burgers will be banned in Chiang Mai as an intrusion upon the native cuisine in this haven of Thainess.

MacDonalds, Burger King and various chains are being told to modify their menus. The 7/Eleven chain is also being contacted. Local entrepreneurs can expect regular inspections.

The decision is in line with recent plans of the Ministry of Tourism and Sports to focus on the true cultural and natural heritage of the quaint Northern city. Commenting on the decision, TAT said that there will be no change in Bangkok menus. "We gave up promoting traditional Thai culture in Bangkok years ago, and we don't even want to talk about Pattaya, Phuket or Ko Samui."

Support for this initiative also comes from the Ministry of Public Health. Ministry spokesman Dr. Sanuk Mak today declared, "It is about time! We have been inspecting burgers for years and still haven't yet been able to figure out what is in them."

The Ministry of Natural Resources and the Environment has also supported the plan. "The reduction in grilling will certainly enhance air quality, especially during January through April. And less cows also mean less methane to pollute the air.

Local defenders of La'Na culture have declared that the Ministry of Culture has it all wrong. "Never mind Thainess," they complain! When contacted by UPress, a Ministry of Culture spokesman responded, "All Chiang Mai roads lead to Bangkok, and all Bangkok roads lead to Chiang Mai. End of story! They are so 19th century up there!"

The new policy is in line with recent regime policy changes to bring unhappiness to foreigners.

From NotTheNation perhaps?

Brilliantly written

oh dear! Is it April 1st already?

Brilliantly written

I've seen better. Burgers are a little bland. They should have banned things like shorts, beer guts, or Thai-bashing on TV. That would really piss off the foreigners.

Hey, Don't laugh.....Who here remembers Thaksins Culture Ministers plans, printed in the Bangkok Post. Keeping 'Thai-Wisdom' off limits to all Farang.......Thai-Wisdom included Language, Cooking, Muay Thai and Traditional Dance and Thai Instruments...........Then Thai language was excluded if you enrolled in a Uni.

But we still have pizza and beer. Not all is lost.

Not to worry. The Board of CEC had already scheduled a meeting tomorrow to talk about less important topics like conditions at CM Immigration. In light of this news, we can clear the agenda and instead begin to plan for private weekly sessions at Dukes, strictly for CEC members, of course, where we'll be able to feast on the full array of Duke's banned burgers.

As a private, member-only function this shouldn't run afoul of the new regulations, right?

I can see the line forming now for new members willing to pay the 1000 baht Lifetime Membership just to keep their right to dine on burgers.

This could result in a mass exodus of whites from Chiang Mai.

Time to search for the promised land.

But we still have pizza and beer. Not all is lost.

I'm relieved to hear you still have beer in CM, Nancy. I wonder how long it will last!

The MoC only seem to promote stupidity; a major cornerstone of Thai culture.

And yes, I know the article is a spoof.

Burgers can now only be obtained by prescription at hospitals.

They started with burgers what came next? Cars, trucks, airplanes and a whole lot of other western things that corrupt the Northern Thai culture. All that will just be the start and before you know it professions such as beauty operators, big box stores will be shout down and city dwellers will be sent packing to work on the farms. Does this remind you of recent history in a neighboring country. What the heck has gotten into the people in charge?

Source ?

Have you ever tried the burger on Air Asia? DON'T

It's a good thing. McD's should be limited to provide clean toilet services as in the rest of the world. They are well known for that!

Not to worry. The Board of CEC had already scheduled a meeting tomorrow to talk about less important topics like conditions at CM Immigration. In light of this news, we can clear the agenda and instead begin to plan for private weekly sessions at Dukes, strictly for CEC members, of course, where we'll be able to feast on the full array of Duke's banned burgers.

As a private, member-only function this shouldn't run afoul of the new regulations, right?

I can see the line forming now for new members willing to pay the 1000 baht Lifetime Membership just to keep their right to dine on burgers.

That is defiantly a win win situation. Just think the best burgers in town and you get to go to the Promenada. A big chance to get out of Farong land.

Source ?

Yes of course, some people call it ketchup, but whatever it is mandatory on my burger of choice.

Not to worry. The Board of CEC had already scheduled a meeting tomorrow to talk about less important topics like conditions at CM Immigration. In light of this news, we can clear the agenda and instead begin to plan for private weekly sessions at Dukes, strictly for CEC members, of course, where we'll be able to feast on the full array of Duke's banned burgers.

As a private, member-only function this shouldn't run afoul of the new regulations, right?

I can see the line forming now for new members willing to pay the 1000 baht Lifetime Membership just to keep their right to dine on burgers.

That is defiantly a win win situation. Just think the best burgers in town and you get to go to the Promenada. A big chance to get out of Farong land.

I was thinking more along the lines of organizing the weekly events at Dukes-Maya Mall, but sadly you're right Northernjohn. The powers-that-be would probably relegate us to Promenada and we'd have to arrive at 5 am for our weekly CEC Dukes Burger Bust. We'd have to move the barricades into the car park and feel our way into the back door of the mall because of lack of lighting, but once inside we'd find a little haven of American culture waiting for us. Since David is known for serving W-A-Y too much food, he could probably be convinced to fire up the pizza oven, too.

And, the good news is that once properly fortified, we'd be able to go back downstairs and visit Immigration's office in the car park to submit a 90 day report or something.

It's a good thing. McD's should be limited to provide clean toilet services as in the rest of the world. They are well known for that!

Except in China. I went into a couple of different Macca's very hopefully and left immediately because of the state of them.

I heard McDonalds up there are substituting burgers with Gai Yang on a Bun.

Dr Sanuk Mak!

Not to worry. The Board of CEC had already scheduled a meeting tomorrow to talk about less important topics like conditions at CM Immigration. In light of this news, we can clear the agenda and instead begin to plan for private weekly sessions at Dukes, strictly for CEC members, of course, where we'll be able to feast on the full array of Duke's banned burgers.

As a private, member-only function this shouldn't run afoul of the new regulations, right?

I can see the line forming now for new members willing to pay the 1000 baht Lifetime Membership just to keep their right to dine on burgers.

That is defiantly a win win situation. Just think the best burgers in town and you get to go to the Promenada. A big chance to get out of Farong land.

I was thinking more along the lines of organizing the weekly events at Dukes-Maya Mall, but sadly you're right Northernjohn. The powers-that-be would probably relegate us to Promenada and we'd have to arrive at 5 am for our weekly CEC Dukes Burger Bust. We'd have to move the barricades into the car park and feel our way into the back door of the mall because of lack of lighting, but once inside we'd find a little haven of American culture waiting for us. Since David is known for serving W-A-Y too much food, he could probably be convinced to fire up the pizza oven, too.

And, the good news is that once properly fortified, we'd be able to go back downstairs and visit Immigration's office in the car park to submit a 90 day report or something.

I trust the CEC executives will thank immigration for giving them such a wonderful opportunity. Show your gratitude. You don't have to fumble around in Maya at 5:00 in the morning. Another win win for immigration.

Not to worry. The Board of CEC had already scheduled a meeting tomorrow to talk about less important topics like conditions at CM Immigration. In light of this news, we can clear the agenda and instead begin to plan for private weekly sessions at Dukes, strictly for CEC members, of course, where we'll be able to feast on the full array of Duke's banned burgers.

As a private, member-only function this shouldn't run afoul of the new regulations, right?

I can see the line forming now for new members willing to pay the 1000 baht Lifetime Membership just to keep their right to dine on burgers.

That is defiantly a win win situation. Just think the best burgers in town and you get to go to the Promenada. A big chance to get out of Farong land.

Has Yummy moved to Promenada?

never heard such bullshit -- better to ban some of their own "cultural" slop!

never heard such bullshit -- better to ban some of their own "cultural" slop!

Hard to believe isn't it?

Yes.

However...you may still order burgers to be delivered to your home, secretly...providing you utilize only the "One Gateway for Thailand".

Burgers must be wrapped in Green Paper, which precludes what is hidden inside.

never heard such bullshit -- better to ban some of their own "cultural" slop!

I'll bet you're a real joy on 1 April each year!

re

Burgers must be wrapped in Green Paper,

this colour green ?

dave2

Thainess! Students not speaking English! Forget this Thainess Cultural Crap and maybe students will learn English! Singapore said no to Malay-Chinese and now they speak English and they are flourishing in SE Asia, while Thailand is a JOKE with one out of fifty students able to speak ENGLISH! Ajarn Tom