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Posted

first of all you can blame yourself of hte whole sitiatuation and ask why she not told you at all in the 4 years.

secondly you are fully responcible for the unborn child as the future of it. that is the right of hte child. It can not do about the thiins you and mum did and have.

Get custody. Take care. leanr to live with the fact your GF is mother of three. Give the child a good family live which included the family band with the other childern of the mum as well.

you have had your life tyill not the child ones is starting. childen are now your priority.

wish you all the wishdom and you child a good youth with lots of care and looking after.

How on earth can he take the blame for her lying?

Morally but not legally responsible unless married.

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Posted

Appreciate all the advice and comments but what I really wanted to know was do I have any recourse or are there laws preventing a mother bailing on her child and leaving the kid with someone that didn't agree to look after the child? Probably stupid question as it seems to be the norm here.

Other question is what happens at the birth? Am I supposed to sign something agreeing that I am the father? Anyone have first hand knowledge?

If you are not legally married, you can do nothing, she can do what she wants. Even if the father was a Thai man, if he was not married to her it is the same.

Regarding the birth, if you don't want to marry her, it seems pointless if you have no control on what happens to the baby.

Good luck!

Posted

After my divorce in Thailand i voluntarily paid maintenance for my son direct to my ex. I saw my son on a regular basis and paid his school fees.

One day my ex and son disappeared .My ex had remarried to a chap from Sweden .My ex tried to take my son to Sweden without my consent by forging my signature on the consent form .On the forged documents she presented to immigration my retirement visa on the copy she presented had expired .Then she had to contact me and explain her actions .I took legal advice to keep my son with me in Thailand but failed. Later i was contacted by the family court in Sweden who advised under Euro legislation i was responsible for maintenance payments that amounted at the time to 18,350 baht per month . It was stated my ex's husband had a low income .

After lengthy legal correspondence and a final ruling by the family court they agreed to accept the amount i had been voluntarily paying before my son left Thailand . I decided instead to legally deposit a monthly amount for the sole benefit of my son when he attains age twenty one .

The family court was advised not to allow their citizens to take children from Thailand if they do not have the finances to support them and to sue me in a Thai court of law if they insisted on any payment direct to them .

Having children to a Thai National can have unforeseen consequences so beware!

In Sweden you pay maximum 5000 bht per month for every child you have. I guess she demanded retroactive 3 months.
Posted

After my divorce in Thailand i voluntarily paid maintenance for my son direct to my ex. I saw my son on a regular basis and paid his school fees.

One day my ex and son disappeared .My ex had remarried to a chap from Sweden .My ex tried to take my son to Sweden without my consent by forging my signature on the consent form .On the forged documents she presented to immigration my retirement visa on the copy she presented had expired .Then she had to contact me and explain her actions .I took legal advice to keep my son with me in Thailand but failed. Later i was contacted by the family court in Sweden who advised under Euro legislation i was responsible for maintenance payments that amounted at the time to 18,350 baht per month . It was stated my ex's husband had a low income .

After lengthy legal correspondence and a final ruling by the family court they agreed to accept the amount i had been voluntarily paying before my son left Thailand . I decided instead to legally deposit a monthly amount for the sole benefit of my son when he attains age twenty one .

The family court was advised not to allow their citizens to take children from Thailand if they do not have the finances to support them and to sue me in a Thai court of law if they insisted on any payment direct to them .

Having children to a Thai National can have unforeseen consequences so beware!

In Sweden you pay maximum 5000 bht per month for every child you have. I guess she demanded retroactive 3 months.
So if you're a Swede and living in Thailand how can they enforce that? I know in Australia a Thai girl can pursue your assets in Australia...even if she's never set foot in the country. Different story if your living along with your cash in Thailand
Posted

Appreciate all the advice and comments but what I really wanted to know was do I have any recourse or are there laws preventing a mother bailing on her child and leaving the kid with someone that didn't agree to look after the child? Probably stupid question as it seems to be the norm here.

Other question is what happens at the birth? Am I supposed to sign something agreeing that I am the father? Anyone have first hand knowledge?

If you are not legally married, you can do nothing, she can do what she wants. Even if the father was a Thai man, if he was not married to her it is the same.

Regarding the birth, if you don't want to marry her, it seems pointless if you have no control on what happens to the baby.

Good luck!

everyone seems to be missing the point. I'm not looking for control of the child. I understand that's impossible unless we were married at conception. I'm worried she'll run and leave the child with me
Posted

Insist on a paternity test. If she says no, walk out or tell her to pack up immediately.

You have a responsibility for the child if it is established it is yours. Otherwise, everything else is your choice.

While it's true many falangs get taken for a ride, a lot don't understand the desperation many Thai women have to deal with when they have children by multiple fathers who abdicate responsibility.

Posted
So if you're a Swede and living in Thailand how can they enforce that? I know in Australia a Thai girl can pursue your assets in Australia...even if she's never set foot in the country. Different story if your living along with your cash in Thailand

Interesting, how do you know a Thai girl can pursue your assets in Australia?

If you are married, I suppose it's possible - although under Thai law only the assets accumulated after marriage are divided.

Thai law does not recognise defacto relationships, so I would have thought pursuit of assets anywhere is not possible.

Please expand - I'm interested.

Posted

So if you're a Swede and living in Thailand how can they enforce that? I know in Australia a Thai girl can pursue your assets in Australia...even if she's never set foot in the country. Different story if your living along with your cash in Thailand

Interesting, how do you know a Thai girl can pursue your assets in Australia?

If you are married, I suppose it's possible - although under Thai law only the assets accumulated after marriage are divided.

Thai law does not recognise defacto relationships, so I would have thought pursuit of assets anywhere is not possible.

Please expand - I'm interested.

I didn't believe it either. I was considering marriage here at one stage. Guy told me a thai girl could pursue Ur Australian assets (In Australia) same as splitting with an Australian wife. I called BS and he sent me the link to family services. Saw it with my own eyes. Not that easy for a chick from Nakhon nowhere with no money to do. But they all network on facebook.and forums and some are savvy to it. There are Thai lawyers in Australia that will assist also
Posted

Been together 4 years and you didn't know she had kids?

I find this very hard to believe. Is she ever on the phone talking to them or talking to their grand parents about their welfare?

Does she not tell you that she needs to go to an ATM to send money home for her children? How can she hide such a thing from you for 4 years?

What is the condition of her body? Surely after 2 kids her breasts are out of shape and she has some stretch marks on her stomach, hips and legs.

Im not buying this story at all.

Hi Mister, I don't know which planet you are from but my wife is 47 years old and had 2 kids, her breats are not that big and they look as she never had any kids and she has no strech marks on her body whatsoever and she is not hte only one like that. Maybe you should get out a little more and find out that not everybody is the same. Just a thought.

only a thought that maybe you've been married too long and you don't remember what a body looks like and feels like before kids, I can tell just by touching a woman body if she's had kids

Possible, I have been married for only 4 years to a Thai lady and I have been coming to Thailand for the last 14 years and of course all the ladies I have been with over them years had one or two kids, seems to be the norm in this country and I think that most of them without kids are under age, which I don't touch. I prefer a lady in her late 30s or early 40s, they have more experience and that's Thai ladies that I am talking about not from my country.

Posted

After my divorce in Thailand i voluntarily paid maintenance for my son direct to my ex. I saw my son on a regular basis and paid his school fees.

One day my ex and son disappeared .My ex had remarried to a chap from Sweden .My ex tried to take my son to Sweden without my consent by forging my signature on the consent form .On the forged documents she presented to immigration my retirement visa on the copy she presented had expired .Then she had to contact me and explain her actions .I took legal advice to keep my son with me in Thailand but failed. Later i was contacted by the family court in Sweden who advised under Euro legislation i was responsible for maintenance payments that amounted at the time to 18,350 baht per month . It was stated my ex's husband had a low income .

After lengthy legal correspondence and a final ruling by the family court they agreed to accept the amount i had been voluntarily paying before my son left Thailand . I decided instead to legally deposit a monthly amount for the sole benefit of my son when he attains age twenty one .

The family court was advised not to allow their citizens to take children from Thailand if they do not have the finances to support them and to sue me in a Thai court of law if they insisted on any payment direct to them .

Having children to a Thai National can have unforeseen consequences so beware!

In Sweden you pay maximum 5000 bht per month for every child you have. I guess she demanded retroactive 3 months.
So if you're a Swede and living in Thailand how can they enforce that? I know in Australia a Thai girl can pursue your assets in Australia...even if she's never set foot in the country. Different story if your living along with your cash in Thailand

In Sweden the only thing that never will dissapear from register is childsupport. They will retract all when i enter my pension age.

Posted

Appreciate all the advice and comments but what I really wanted to know was do I have any recourse or are there laws preventing a mother bailing on her child and leaving the kid with someone that didn't agree to look after the child? Probably stupid question as it seems to be the norm here.

Other question is what happens at the birth? Am I supposed to sign something agreeing that I am the father? Anyone have first hand knowledge?

If you are not legally married, you can do nothing, she can do what she wants. Even if the father was a Thai man, if he was not married to her it is the same.

Regarding the birth, if you don't want to marry her, it seems pointless if you have no control on what happens to the baby.

Good luck!

everyone seems to be missing the point. I'm not looking for control of the child. I understand that's impossible unless we were married at conception. I'm worried she'll run and leave the child with me

Wooowww you are a true asset to humanity.

Posted

Possible, I have been married for only 4 years to a Thai lady and I have been coming to Thailand for the last 14 years and of course all the ladies I have been with over them years had one or two kids, seems to be the norm in this country and I think that most of them without kids are under age, which I don't touch. I prefer a lady in her late 30s or early 40s, they have more experience and that's Thai ladies that I am talking about not from my country.

Completely agree. My teerak is 50, looks 30 and a lot more fun than some 20-something.biggrin.png

Posted

Been together 4 years and you didn't know she had kids?

I find this very hard to believe. Is she ever on the phone talking to them or talking to their grand parents about their welfare?

Does she not tell you that she needs to go to an ATM to send money home for her children? How can she hide such a thing from you for 4 years?

What is the condition of her body? Surely after 2 kids her breasts are out of shape and she has some stretch marks on her stomach, hips and legs.

Im not buying this story at all.

Hi Mister, I don't know which planet you are from but my wife is 47 years old and had 2 kids, her breats are not that big and they look as she never had any kids and she has no strech marks on her body whatsoever and she is not hte only one like that. Maybe you should get out a little more and find out that not everybody is the same. Just a thought.

only a thought that maybe you've been married too long and you don't remember what a body looks like and feels like before kids, I can tell just by touching a woman body if she's had kids

He still hasnt supplied the proof so must have something to hide. Something sagging maybe.

Posted

Been together 4 years and you didn't know she had kids?

I find this very hard to believe. Is she ever on the phone talking to them or talking to their grand parents about their welfare?

Does she not tell you that she needs to go to an ATM to send money home for her children? How can she hide such a thing from you for 4 years?

What is the condition of her body? Surely after 2 kids her breasts are out of shape and she has some stretch marks on her stomach, hips and legs.

Im not buying this story at all.

Hi Mister, I don't know which planet you are from but my wife is 47 years old and had 2 kids, her breats are not that big and they look as she never had any kids and she has no strech marks on her body whatsoever and she is not hte only one like that. Maybe you should get out a little more and find out that not everybody is the same. Just a thought.

only a thought that maybe you've been married too long and you don't remember what a body looks like and feels like before kids, I can tell just by touching a woman body if she's had kids

Possible, I have been married for only 4 years to a Thai lady and I have been coming to Thailand for the last 14 years and of course all the ladies I have been with over them years had one or two kids, seems to be the norm in this country and I think that most of them without kids are under age, which I don't touch. I prefer a lady in her late 30s or early 40s, they have more experience and that's Thai ladies that I am talking about not from my country.

All the ladies you've been with have had a couple of kids? Are you serious? What about the model standard girls that work in the GoGo bars? Some of those girls are outstandingly beautiful and have flawless perfect bodies.

Posted

Appreciate all the advice and comments but what I really wanted to know was do I have any recourse or are there laws preventing a mother bailing on her child and leaving the kid with someone that didn't agree to look after the child? Probably stupid question as it seems to be the norm here.

Other question is what happens at the birth? Am I supposed to sign something agreeing that I am the father? Anyone have first hand knowledge?

If you are not legally married, you can do nothing, she can do what she wants. Even if the father was a Thai man, if he was not married to her it is the same.

Regarding the birth, if you don't want to marry her, it seems pointless if you have no control on what happens to the baby.

Good luck!

everyone seems to be missing the point. I'm not looking for control of the child. I understand that's impossible unless we were married at conception. I'm worried she'll run and leave the child with me

Of course she will run. Best you run first. Out of the country preferably.

Posted
Kenny202

Different father's and kids left with the father's family. For their own good and father insisted (of course). I'm not talking about leaving her or shirking responsibilities. I'm talking about her leaving the kid with me.

To find one Fathers family that would bring up a kid is unusual, but two seems a little far fetched.

It wouldn't surprise me if she didn't leave the kids with someone and did a runner.

Very unusual she never sees her kids, but I bet she has an excuse for that too.

Kenny 202

Anyway, my concern now is she may do the same with me. I raised that very question with her and she told me if I didn't feel comfortable not to sign the birth papers as the father?

Yes she may. You think not signing any papers will change that.

Kenny202

I'm not talking about leaving her or shirking responsibilities. I'm talking about her leaving the kid with me. There is also quite a bit more background to this story I won't go into here. I raised 4 small kids alone in Australia. I didn't come here to spend the rest of my life as a single dad.

Of course your trying to shirk your responsibilities, otherwise you wouldn't be concerning and posting.

If you play with fire be prepared to get burned.

I was also a single parent and raised 4 small kids in the UK. It was an exhilarating experience that I'll never regret, however I'd never want to do it again in my later life. That's why I did the responsible thing and had the snip!

As my Granny used to say "You made your bed, you lye in it"

Posted

Z

Gee there is one born every minute. She has sucked you in BIG TIME. I would suggest you run run run, otherwise you may up ending paying for all the kids. She obviously has too much experience for any ones liking. She has played you for a fool and considering how many women there are in Thailand you don't need one with a lot of baggage. Find an innocent lady in the provinces, one that has never been on the game. Good Luck

the problem seems to be with the girls in the provinces....I'm talking village girl here not city girl. Apart from my issues...my observations...they can be dirt poor. Live in a home dirt floor, diet of rat and vegetation. Along comes farang. Offers her a better life....maybe a middle class sort of life. Normally girl happy, mum and dad happy their daughter is on a good path. No. That unfortunately isn't good enough. Expectations on her to build the big farang palace, Fortuna...home for mum and dad. If she has friends with Farang husbands there'll be all sorts of competion about clothes, designer bags etc. Then there'll be pressure for money from family, friends. You just can't win. It's either zero or 500% for them. There's no middle ground.

Provinces, Boondocks, big cities, is neither here nor there. You are generalising again with "village girl here not city girl". Plenty of good girls in the villages, plenty of "bad" girls in the cities. And vice versa. You just ended up with a wrong 'un. Regardless of her background or upbringing.

I disagree...well to some of it. There are some crackers of girls in the villages for sure. Apart from being lucky enough to find one that knows even a little English, there will be a veritable minefield in front of you and her. Even if she's a great girl, morals...doesn't care about money etc...There will be a ton of family and hangers on that do. Even your local moo ban people will be expecting her to go door to door throwing cash around or making loans. Pressure from the local monk. Everytime we'd go and eat at a local "restaurant" we'd have some old bag or hanger on wanting 20 baht. It never happened but it puts pressure on her as she's branded a tight <deleted>, shes forgotten her culture etc. She cudnt even go and visit her grandmother in comfort (lives with the aunty) without the old bitch sticking her paw out for 5000 baht (to play the farken lottery). It's all a game I wouldn't play. Person asks for money...if it's not forth coming u are the one branded as kie neow...Not the moocher. I just don't have the finances to support a bunch of bludgers. I know some guys try in the name of supporting their lady / culture but I've yet to see anyone buy any respect that way. They only ever see u as an easy mark. Yes there were good people in our village too wouldn't embarrass themselves asking for money. But they were educated teachers or govt workers mostly. I wouldn't gamble on a village girl. Middle class city girl with decent family. Yeah i am jaded. I'm sick and tired of hearing about luck and mostly about money. Makes me feel sick

Well i disagree too. Sure, there's some rotten apples, i've seen them too. Maybe i've been fortunate. My missus is a "village girl", known her for 15 years, lived together 12, married for 10. The odd aunt and uncle are complete useless tw#ts, they know that i know, the rest are absolutely spiffing, hard working, very proud people. MIL is one of the greatest human beings i ever met. Dead step father no. 2 was just an amazing guy who i loved dearly. Your experiences with "moochers" et al is the polar opposite to mine or my missus. We are together for us and our family, not for the benifit of the greater family, nor the village. My missus has never been one for face, and never will. You don't pay your own way, don't come to us for monetary help.

Posted

Remember, everyone on a forum has an opinion but many times those opinions are worth no more than the dirt beneath their feet.

Have you talked to several lawyers here in Thailand? I say several because there may be differing opinions by them also. Remember also that the law in Thailand may not be as ethical and above board as in many western countries and perhaps subject to money under the table.

If you know the path you want to take, you may want to consider saving yourself some stress and get professional legal help and skip the drama of forum discussions.

BTW, thank you for being trusting enough to ask others for their opinions. Best of luck in the future.

Posted

thaiguzzi,

Nice post, but I disagree with the 'no face' comment.

If push came to shove about you and 'face', you could never win.

It is in their blood from birth.

If it is beneficial to her, she will side with you, but realistically, you come after immediate family.

Posted

How do you know its your kid? She kept a secret about the others for 4 yrs? What else is she holding back? Personally I would commit to nothing until the kid is born, then I would have a DNA test done. If it proved to be mine, then and only then, concern myself with options.

Posted

Been together 4 years and you didn't know she had kids?

I find this very hard to believe. Is she ever on the phone talking to them or talking to their grand parents about their welfare?

Does she not tell you that she needs to go to an ATM to send money home for her children? How can she hide such a thing from you for 4 years?

What is the condition of her body? Surely after 2 kids her breasts are out of shape and she has some stretch marks on her stomach, hips and legs.

Im not buying this story at all.

Hi Mister, I don't know which planet you are from but my wife is 47 years old and had 2 kids, her breats are not that big and they look as she never had any kids and she has no strech marks on her body whatsoever and she is not hte only one like that. Maybe you should get out a little more and find out that not everybody is the same. Just a thought.

only a thought that maybe you've been married too long and you don't remember what a body looks like and feels like before kids, I can tell just by touching a woman body if she's had kids

So you must be a doctor or something like that.

Posted

How do you know its your kid? She kept a secret about the others for 4 yrs? What else is she holding back? Personally I would commit to nothing until the kid is born, then I would have a DNA test done. If it proved to be mine, then and only then, concern myself with options.

Well to be honest that's exactly what I'm doing. She wants me to be all warm and excited about having the baby (as u shud be), but I just can't. It feels awful.
Posted

Been together 4 years and you didn't know she had kids?

I find this very hard to believe. Is she ever on the phone talking to them or talking to their grand parents about their welfare?

Does she not tell you that she needs to go to an ATM to send money home for her children? How can she hide such a thing from you for 4 years?

What is the condition of her body? Surely after 2 kids her breasts are out of shape and she has some stretch marks on her stomach, hips and legs.

Im not buying this story at all.

Hi Mister, I don't know which planet you are from but my wife is 47 years old and had 2 kids, her breats are not that big and they look as she never had any kids and she has no strech marks on her body whatsoever and she is not hte only one like that. Maybe you should get out a little more and find out that not everybody is the same. Just a thought.

If that's the case good luck to ya!! Wish my wife was like that at 47, but let's face it, a woman at 47, looks like a woman that's 47 [and then some] especially if she has had kids, except for a few in the minority.

On TV everyone's wife / GF are &lt;deleted&gt; hot!!! Ever heard a guy say opposite.. me neither!!

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