Ruled out Thailand

[timtscott]

I have been coming here (Thailand) for almost 30 years with the intent to retire here. I have spent hours on same days daydreaming of this move. But now that the time has actually arrived I have decided to look elsewhere. It's not just one thing. Its many things mostly small things. Thailand have changed over the years and so have I. For example, chasing 25 year old women is no longer a top priority for me. I don't like being subject to being stopped by police just because I am a farang. If I wanted to live in a xenophobic state I would remain in the US. But mostly, I have just tired of it. To me the land of smiles is really the land of fake smiles. Maybe it always had been but I refused to see it. It's a beautiful country and exciting for a young man first exploring the world. I may still visit sometime, but I'm not sure. The 27 hour flight is getting harder and harder. Also, Many other places to see, I will retire somewhere warm and cheap likely in South America. I will miss Thailand or the Thailand I had put on a pedestal. I guess it's a good thing I reached this decision before actually moving.

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[Goldbear]

Have you ever been to South America? Most places that are cheap and warm have just as many problems, if not more, than Thailand does. There is no perfect place.

Good luck.

[fey]

south america has worse problems then your going to get here, unless your isolating on an exclusive beach or high end type living arrangement.

for me at least is there probably never will be a "retire thailand" situation. there are just too many other affordable places within easy reach.
it's always going to be a semi-permanent situation, and i have found that the relationships i have experienced here so far fit in with this scenario quite well. thailand, just something about it, transitory, backpackerish, and fleeting relationships with people screwing around with just whomever or bailing when finances get tight.

i would say really hunkering down for a final stretch may be better done in south america, even if there are more hassles.
could you let us know what countries you plan on going to in south america?

Edited February 25, 2016 by fey

[villagefarang]

For some people Thailand is a dream or fantasy which helps them get through their otherwise humdrum lives back home. When the time comes to make the move, they have a second look and find their needs have changed. Having the courage to acknowledge those changes is where many people fall short. Maybe your Thailand phase is over and it is time to move on to something else. That is not necessarily a bad thing and something else doesn’t always have to be better, just new and different. Try someplace else, Thailand will still be here if you change your mind again.

[jadee]

It's nice to read a positive post from someone who decided they didn't want to retire in Thailand before actually making the move. So many people on Thaivisa simply complain about things here which is pointless. Keep us posted to where you retire and how it compares! Good luck!

[7000gods]

Utila,Honduras is pretty nice,and please consider Bonaire.

[tonray]

" I don't like being subject to being stopped by police just because I am a farang"

Hmm...never happened to me here. When and where ? Would you care to elaborate...I am trying to find out why this might be an issue for you.

"For example, chasing 25 year old women is no longer a top priority for me."

Ok...so your reason for coming here for 30 years was to chase young dollies ?

Perhaps you should re-assess what you really want in retirement first before you pick a new place.

[CharlieH]

Seems to me someone is making the classic mistake of judging Thailand on one or two specific areas and not visiting the rest of this amazing place.

In 10 years, never been stopped once "for being a farang". But then I have never been to "certain areas" as that doesnt appeal to me and I wouldnt want to live or retire in those areas either.

[DipStick]

sorry, but I totally understand where the OP is coming from, of course Thailand has some wonderful areas, but Pattaya, jomtien, Phuket are not part of those wonderful areas , they are whore house cities. Ten years ago, whilst working legit in Bangkok my favoutite area was Cha Am or Hua Hin. Was there last week and the entire 20km stretch between the two was a dusty, dirty building site. Thailand is rapidly killing itself .... For those experts here, look at Pattaya in 1977 and today ! ( I do realise possibly only 1% would be qualified to answer ) Thailand has committed suicide on itself,

[fey]

" I don't like being subject to being stopped by police just because I am a farang"

Hmm...never happened to me here. When and where ? Would you care to elaborate...I am trying to find out why this might be an issue for you.

http://www.chiangmaicitylife.com/news/100-armed-police-raid-zoe-in-yellow-no-criminals-found/

one of my favorite venues and one of the few i enjoy here. i think ill stay in tonight.

[JHolmesJr]

Gringo or farang....what a choice

[BudRight]

After all the responses in dozens of other threads telling people "go home" and "don't let the door hit you on the ass" this guy gets grilled for deciding not to move to Thailand at all?

[timtscott]

I know that there is no perfect place. I don't expect perfection but from what I have learned from my research and in country experience is that Thailand is less and less welcoming. I realize this a general statement and I have met some very nice Thai people over the years. But even the ones I have come really close to I find there is always an invisible barrier. I will never be Thai to them and thus never an equal. I know this exist in other cultures and it certainly exist in my own. Also I have traveled all over Thailand not just the sex tourist locations. There are parts of the country I truly love. But you should never confuse the words " I love you" with "I want to marry you". Thailand is a lot of fun. For me personally, it is best as a vacation destination and not a permanent home.

Oh by the way cost of living does play a role in my decision as well but it is not the deciding factor.

Edited February 25, 2016 by timtscott

[uthaithanirules]

I know that there is no perfect place. I don't expect perfection but from what I have learned from my research and in country experience is that Thailand is less and less welcoming. I realize this a general statement and I have met some very nice Thai people over the years. But even the ones I have come really close to I find there is always an invisible barrier. I will never be Thai to them and thus never an equal. I know this exist in other cultures and it certainly exist in my own. Also I have traveled all over Thailand not just the sex tourist locations. There are parts of the country I truly love. But you should never confuse the words " I love you" with "I want to marry you". Thailand is a lot of fun. For me personally, it is best as a vacation destination and not a permanent home.

Oh by the way cost of living does play a role in my decision as well but it is not the deciding factor.

"I will never be thai to them", I dont really get why that matters?

[canathai8]

Tim, we are ALL victims of our own bias - that stem from our own unique experiences in Thailand - excellent, good, bad, mediocre and indifferent.

After 10 years I still love Thailand, (met my wife/best friend there) but now only in 3 month doses and no more! Everyone has their own vision and take of Thailand, and you are no different..

My old plan was to retire in the LOS like you, but over time I realized that my home country is pretty darned good.

So as bad as Thailand is for some - is also conversely how good it is for others - in perfectly equal measure.

Thailand is a veritable Paradox Tim. I get that.

Like walking on Koh Phi Phi a few months ago - and watching Burmese laborers while someone else cries out right beside them, "you want massage?"

Your 30 years of traveling to Thailand has galvanized your attitudes and perceptions, be they reality or not - it matter little at this junction.

Best

[BudRight]

I know that there is no perfect place. I don't expect perfection but from what I have learned from my research and in country experience is that Thailand is less and less welcoming. I realize this a general statement and I have met some very nice Thai people over the years. But even the ones I have come really close to I find there is always an invisible barrier. I will never be Thai to them and thus never an equal. I know this exist in other cultures and it certainly exist in my own. Also I have traveled all over Thailand not just the sex tourist locations. There are parts of the country I truly love. But you should never confuse the words " I love you" with "I want to marry you". Thailand is a lot of fun. For me personally, it is best as a vacation destination and not a permanent home.

Oh by the way cost of living does play a role in my decision as well but it is not the deciding factor.

"I will never be thai to them", I dont really get why that matters?

Because it means being treated the rest of your life as an outsider. If you don't think that's lonely, just read the posts on this forum.

[Gecko123]

A college classmate once shared something his father (who was a well-know author) had told him. It was the story of a man who dreamed of owning a sailboat but lacked the money to buy one. For years he daydreamed about what kind of boat he wanted. But when he finally had the money and bought one, it just didn’t give him the pleasure that he was all but certain it would. The classmate said that this was the nature of life; sometimes the dream gives more pleasure than the reality.

Good luck in your search for an alternative to Thailand.

Edited February 26, 2016 by Gecko123

[ezzra]

Unfortunately, Thailand dose attracts lot of undesirable and criminal elements hiding in plain view

marrying local women and carrying on baseness and life as usual,

The only way to safe guard the public and the communities is to conduct spot checks and random

searches that doesn't look good to the expats but this is part of life living in such high profile country,

Thailand has it's faults for sure, and so are many other countries around the world, while some of accept

it, other see it as unacceptable and intrusion into their privacy.....

[slerickson]

I know that there is no perfect place. I don't expect perfection but from what I have learned from my research and in country experience is that Thailand is less and less welcoming. I realize this a general statement and I have met some very nice Thai people over the years. But even the ones I have come really close to I find there is always an invisible barrier. I will never be Thai to them and thus never an equal. I know this exist in other cultures and it certainly exist in my own. Also I have traveled all over Thailand not just the sex tourist locations. There are parts of the country I truly love. But you should never confuse the words " I love you" with "I want to marry you". Thailand is a lot of fun. For me personally, it is best as a vacation destination and not a permanent home.

Oh by the way cost of living does play a role in my decision as well but it is not the deciding factor.

"I will never be thai to them", I dont really get why that matters?

Because it means being treated the rest of your life as an outsider. If you don't think that's lonely, just read the posts on this forum.

As someone said, you're likely to always be a gringo is S America too and I don't think it's realistic to think an expat will become a Thai either. Pretty tough to do if you're not hyper superstitious and don't believe in ghosts. But I've thus far have always found People to be friendly and thoughtful in Chiangmai and the small village I live in. I don't expect anything more. Edited February 26, 2016 by slerickson

[craigt3365]

I know that there is no perfect place. I don't expect perfection but from what I have learned from my research and in country experience is that Thailand is less and less welcoming. I realize this a general statement and I have met some very nice Thai people over the years. But even the ones I have come really close to I find there is always an invisible barrier. I will never be Thai to them and thus never an equal. I know this exist in other cultures and it certainly exist in my own. Also I have traveled all over Thailand not just the sex tourist locations. There are parts of the country I truly love. But you should never confuse the words " I love you" with "I want to marry you". Thailand is a lot of fun. For me personally, it is best as a vacation destination and not a permanent home.

Oh by the way cost of living does play a role in my decision as well but it is not the deciding factor.

Have you spent much time in South America? Visa rules can be very difficult. Ruling many countries out as a permanent home. Security is a huge issue. As is health care as you get older.

Central America has many issues also. As does Mexico. I've spent several years traveling around Mexico, CA and SA. Ended up here. It ain't perfect, but it's OK and better than many of the alternatives.

Somebody mentioned Honduras. Wow. Massive crime problem. Bonaire is a very, very small island. Not cheap either. But great diving!!!!

[chrisinth]

sorry, but I totally understand where the OP is coming from, of course Thailand has some wonderful areas, but Pattaya, jomtien, Phuket are not part of those wonderful areas , they are whore house cities. Ten years ago, whilst working legit in Bangkok my favoutite area was Cha Am or Hua Hin. Was there last week and the entire 20km stretch between the two was a dusty, dirty building site. Thailand is rapidly killing itself .... For those experts here, look at Pattaya in 1977 and today ! ( I do realise possibly only 1% would be qualified to answer ) Thailand has committed suicide on itself,

Do you remember Singapore or Hong Kong in 1977 as well?

The entire world has changed since then, not always for the better either.............................

[jacko45k]

Costa Rica perhaps?

Struggling to think of anywhere else unless you can afford a Caribbean Island.

[mogo51]

I can understand your sentiments. I will leave myself in 12 months or so and go to Philippines as my gf is Filipino.

Have you looked at Vietnam? Hearing good reports but no retirement visa at this stage.

[yellowboat]

Have friend that is almost 90 years old. He wonders from Indonesia to Northern China. He likes Thailand, but has issue with visa policy. It does not suit his free spirit. Plopping in Thailand is too confining and dulls the senses, when you can roam and enjoy diversity. .

[bobmac10]

Yes, you'll always be different here and unless you want to hide in the anonymity of the big tourist places like Pattaya or Phuket, you'll always stand out in the crowd.

That being said, there is a way to become more at ease here and that is to immerse yourself in the culture and language, i.e. understand how Thais think and be able to communicate on that level.

Not easy and you may not want to go that far, however, it really is the only way to feel at home here and to be comfortable in the company of Thais.

[AlQaholic]

sorry, but I totally understand where the OP is coming from, of course Thailand has some wonderful areas, but Pattaya, jomtien, Phuket are not part of those wonderful areas , they are whore house cities. Ten years ago, whilst working legit in Bangkok my favoutite area was Cha Am or Hua Hin. Was there last week and the entire 20km stretch between the two was a dusty, dirty building site. Thailand is rapidly killing itself .... For those experts here, look at Pattaya in 1977 and today ! ( I do realise possibly only 1% would be qualified to answer ) Thailand has committed suicide on itself,

Do you remember Singapore or Hong Kong in 1977 as well?

The entire world has changed since then, not always for the better either.............................

Yeah I remember New York before the Europeans destroyed it completely, there where these marshlands and all kind of birds, and hills and lakes and stuff.......

[1FinickyOne]

Best of luck with whatever you decide - though I do wonder of your experiences here. Places do definitely change and the tourist areas seem to change quickest.

I live in the countryside and oftentimes cannot relate to many of the things I see posted here. I am stopped at checkpoints too, like every other car - I am greeted with a smile, maybe asked where I am going or have been in a very friendly manner, and waved through in seconds - 95% of the time when they see my farang face, they just wave me through. I do not feel the police have ever targeted me or being a farang and quite the opposite, mostly just wave me along my way though sometimes they like to chat playfully too.

I also see here repeatedly this "fake" smile reference. Thai smile near all the time and in many different situations. If you observe them together, they smile when transacting in the market or sitting on a motorcycle together. They smile in embarrassment, they smile to soften potential conflicts.. and yes, they smile to just say hello or flirt - as the Eskimos have 50 different words for snow, the Thai have 50 different meanings to their smiles. if you only have one meaning for a smile, then you are likely to see the other 50 meanings that they have as "fake" -

But all of this is part of living in and working at gaining an understanding of what another culture actually means. If you want things to be culturally closer to where you were born, then you are likely better off closer to home where maybe a smile has only one meaning and means exactly what you think it means.

I hope you find someplace that is more suitable to you - we all have different and changing wants, hopes, dreams and desires - best of luck in finding yours.

[georgemandm]

It's nice to read a positive post from someone who decided they didn't want to retire in Thailand before actually making the move. So many people on Thaivisa simply complain about things here which is pointless. Keep us posted to where you retire and how it compares! Good luck!

Yes very true words.

[ggt]

I...like you...wanted to retire to Thailand...after having had a wonderful time there many years ago...after children were grown and wife moved on...I returned to Thailand expecting to pickup where I had left off many years ago...bought a condo...chased the ladies...traveled some...but was actually bored to death with the insane traffic...unnecessary scams and corruption...and darn right hostility by many who make their living off of expats and tourists...

Moved on...happy and contented now...my best memories of Thailand are those of many years ago...not the current Thailand...sad to see what it has become...

[mcfish]

OP why is the fear of being stopped by police here an issue for you? This has only recently happened in night clubs and since your no longer chasing 25 year old dollies it's pretty unlikely your going to get caught up in that.

Being a gringo in South America and a target for carjacking etc is a way more serious issue than some random passport check.