Ignored: Most Thais turn blind eye to domestic violence in social experiment

[Ulic]

All the anecdotal evidence regarding interfering in a domestic dispute between a

man/woman indicates you are putting your life at risk from both parties and will

certainly not be thanked. Alerting police and assisting after the fracas is over

is the only sensible course of action. Do not get involved in the dispute itself.

[BritManToo]

This is Thailand, I don't see it as a big deal here.

The women hit the men as often as the men hit the women.

If you don't like the way your partner behaves toward you, move out, get a new spouse/bf/gf.

I've actually seen more Thai women beating men, than the other way around.

Two incidents, the men were hit and seriously injured with beer bottles over the head, the men seemed to accept it.

Edited April 1, 2016 by BritManToo

[TEFLKrabi]

I too hate to see a man beating a woman BUT, remember where you're at(Thailand) and remember who you are(a Farang). That is a real big factor here. It doesn't make any difference if you have lived here for 1 week or a 100 years you will always be a Farang and most Thais take a big offense if you try to get involved in their personal business. The only way I would get involved in a domestic dispute is if it is immediate family and then as a last resort.

If we continue to turn a blind eye the situation will never change. We must raise awareness through videos such as this and teach people that domestic violence is never acceptable, whoever you are. If we don't put this in the news, nothing will ever change.

[z42]

Shout, raise attention, go in with another person if at all, and try to video it and show the attacker you're videoing it. Jumping straight in and getting physically involved puts you in range for getting stabbed. At a distance the likelihood of the person shooting you dead is limited, and you can have some time to prepare if the attacker decides to attack you.

In Thailand though it is a catch 22. Too many foolish, unpredictable people who carry weapons around. The cops are utterly useless, and things can escalate to a deadly situation in the blink of an eye.

The chap in white from the video did really well I think; he was assertive and not too aggressive. Good for him.

[IMBabaBobo]

Helping someone in need is a matter of personal integrity. Of knowing what is right and what is wrong. I've lived here a long time and understand Thai ways, but that doesn't stop me from choosing to intervene when someone's personal safety, especially a woman, is in question. I've had three encounters like this and none of them ended with me being stabbed, shot, or beaten. Yes, maybe I was lucky, but I believe people need to take a stand for what we believe in. You can approach a situation in a non-threatening way, the way the one falang in the video did. That was my approach, not to physically accost the abuser, but more to shame him, or give him a minute to realize where he was and that people were looking at him. On one of the occasion, my mate and a stranger stepped in with me, so of course, that helped.

What surprised me in this video was that no Thais came to the defense of the Thai woman being accosted by a falang. I have seen Thais, en mass, lay into a falang for hitting a Thai woman.

[Moonmoon]

sometimes its not that Thais dont care. In fact they do, and they will help out if they can. Its just sometimes they r afraid of getting shot or getting scammed. Can't blame some for not helping.

[razorramone]

I too hate to see a man beating a woman BUT, remember where you're at(Thailand) and remember who you are(a Farang). That is a real big factor here. It doesn't make any difference if you have lived here for 1 week or a 100 years you will always be a Farang and most Thais take a big offense if you try to get involved in their personal business. The only way I would get involved in a domestic dispute is if it is immediate family and then as a last resort.

If we continue to turn a blind eye the situation will never change. We must raise awareness through videos such as this and teach people that domestic violence is never acceptable, whoever you are. If we don't put this in the news, nothing will ever change.

Who is this "we" you have created?

If it is foreigners, then just think for a minute how culturally bigoted that is, and how it would play out in your home country.

[GAZZPA]

I think it all depends on how the attack is going down, if like in the video they will be in bed making it up in a few hours. also if you do get involved and it turn ugly and the guy start on you and you end up giving him a good slap you could be the one facing a GBH charge and a criminal record, maybe better leave well alone.

You have lived here too long, this is a cowards mentality.

A man beating on a woman is wrong on every single level. Indeed ANY domestic violence is wrong and if you see such a thing happening it is your duty as a civilised human being to try and intervene. This doesn't mean play the macho card and attack the man, it means trying to calm it down and bring it to a peaceful resolution.

I could never, ever stand by and watch a woman being beaten, but preferably I would want people with me rather then on my own.

Domestic violence in everywhere but Thailand is far, far behind other countries and cultures in dealing with it. It's time that they grew up and dealt with it in the right way.

[GAZZPA]

I too hate to see a man beating a woman BUT, remember where you're at(Thailand) and remember who you are(a Farang). That is a real big factor here. It doesn't make any difference if you have lived here for 1 week or a 100 years you will always be a Farang and most Thais take a big offense if you try to get involved in their personal business. The only way I would get involved in a domestic dispute is if it is immediate family and then as a last resort.

If we continue to turn a blind eye the situation will never change. We must raise awareness through videos such as this and teach people that domestic violence is never acceptable, whoever you are. If we don't put this in the news, nothing will ever change.

Who is this "we" you have created?

If it is foreigners, then just think for a minute how culturally bigoted that is, and how it would play out in your home country.

Terrible attitude. It is not bigotry to make this statement. In "we" he is clearly referring to the masses here, not just foreigners. Thailand needs an education, it needs to know that domestic violence is not acceptable and has no place in a civilised society. If you don't see that you are blind, completely blind.

[GAZZPA]

This is Thailand, I don't see it as a big deal here.

The women hit the men as often as the men hit the women.

If you don't like the way your partner behaves toward you, move out, get a new spouse/bf/gf.

I've actually seen more Thai women beating men, than the other way around.

Two incidents, the men were hit and seriously injured with beer bottles over the head, the men seemed to accept it.

All domestic violence is wrong,, wake up!

[GAZZPA]

Violence against women and children is something I can't tolerate or turn a blind eye to.

I once stopped our car in the middle of the road when I saw one of these little pricks slapping a girl on a bike at an intersection in Phuket, pulling her hair, etc... I grabbed that stupid little pig and "told him" what needed to be said, guided the girl to safety into a nearby hair dresser shop and told the prick to go home because I called the cops before I moved on. Offered the girl a ride home (my family was in the car), but she refused and said she's ok.

I thought about possible consequences and what "could have happened" (getting stabbed, shot at, arrested, whatever) later and still am happy that I did what needed to be done. Sometimes you simply have to step in. Perhaps I saved that girl's life or at least helped to make it better and the abusive prick learned that people care and that it might have severe consequences if he ever does something like this again, since perhaps the next guy interfering might not be as "kind" as I was...

Hats off fella, true gentleman and civilised human being that you are.

[JHolmesJr]

It explains why they are so violent even out of domestic situations….the conditioning begins early.

[laolover88]

Very interesting experiences recounted. I suppose westerners view violence as a "last resort", as they do war, when discussion, negotiation and words have failed to reconcile. And therein lies one of the problems. Reconciliation without face loss is incredibly difficult. I see Thai children terrified of their parents. They are required to display total obedience and respect, as they are to all authority figures elder members of the family and 'patrons". To achieve this bizarre situation parents beat their children and wives and husbands attack each other to secure both respect and control. What is odder, to me, is that many of the Thais I know whether they are poor or are intelligent and educated neglect their children outrageously. Most of the time they have no idea where they are or what they are doing. Are parents in fact equally terrified that their children will uncontrollable and disrespectful and that in marriage and relationships their is an equal mutual terror?

[simple1]

Changing the topic slightly...

...A Thai family have just moved into our street & live opposite our house..mum+dad about 50-55yrs old, then 4-6 16-25yr old siblings (who come+go all day/night long)...plus

a 3-4yr old, & baby.

Papa takes care of the youngsters all day.

This small girl of about 3-4 cries ALL day..she's a lovely little girl, but he slaps her & makes her cry at the drop of a hat..(she's crying even as I write this!)..but my point is that the rest of the Thai folk who live in this St see this, hear this, & accept it on a daily basis.

I want to go over & punch this man full in the face..but as you all know..that would get me in deep do-doo.

Thais never seem to voice their opinions, & just accept what's going on around them..be it good or bad. Ho-hum.

One time I witnessed a neighbour beating his son with an electric cable, Thais looking on didn't stop him & I was told 'not your business'. I told the man to stop, which he did.

Later I was at a doctor's office to check out the boy and get him some medication for the pain. Doctor told me if it happens again, thankfully it did not, next time let her know and she would contact the police who she assured me would take action against the father.

Edited April 1, 2016 by simple1

[smudger1951]

Iv'e seen it all here in Pattaya over the years. When a thai man kicks off in another room of the appartment I've gone running for help and when they arrive a the door a visibly shaken thai lady not wanting another battering saying" no problem sorry for noise ! )

As for the Beach Road where I've seen thai men pulling women by the hair leaping on kung <deleted> style and kicking, elbow smashing etc. AND NO ONE STEPS IN because wveryone has a knife or more. Is this why thai ladies like peaceful old farangs as well as the money. ? because

[siamcrut]

As long as parents and grandparents watch with their small kids this trash TV (soap shows) nothing will change.

[Linzz]

I once tried to help a women who was in a vehicle which was having its windows smashed out by a man with a metal object. The women was screaming so I approached the man with a view to subduing him a bit. The result, the woman and the man turned on me.

I guess some people enjoy the violence.

Happened to me too. She screamed at me to <deleted> off! (not in Thailand) Must have enjoyed the beating.

[Bluespunk]

I once tried to help a women who was in a vehicle which was having its windows smashed out by a man with a metal object. The women was screaming so I approached the man with a view to subduing him a bit. The result, the woman and the man turned on me.

I guess some people enjoy the violence.

Happened to me too. She screamed at me to <deleted> off! (not in Thailand) Must have enjoyed the beating.

More likely she realised if she sided with the other person the next beating would be worse.

[Khon Kaen Dave]

My sister(now deceased) married a guy who was a football thug.We all knew he liked a drink and could sometimes get out of hand.We tolerated his behavior because we knew my sister loved him.When sober he was 100% my nice guy,but with a booze inside him he was a nasty bastard. I had the feeling that he was giving my sister a slap every now and again,usually if Arsenal lost on the Saturday.One Saturday night she turned up at our dads house with her 2 kids ad some serious bruising,asking if she could stay for a few days.My dad called me the next morning and asked me to come round.On seeing my sister,i felt sick(my sister and i were very close) my mum had taken my sister into her bedroom and my sister showed her the bruises to her breasts and stomach.extra to those on her face.I called my brother in law on the pretense that i knew nothing and asked him if he wanted to go for a pint in his local.He agreed,and didn't even mention that my sister wasn't at home.I told him i would knock on his door about 1 pm.I took a sock filled with some lead pipe in it,with me.I knocked on his door and before he could even speak i wrapped it round his rib cage.I wont go into the details,but when i left he was in a very sorry state.

My sister decided it was time to go home,so my dad ran her to her house,he didn't stop and drove straight back.

You cannot imagine the phone call i got from my sister screaming about what i had done to her husband,and that he had had to go to hospital and was thinking of pressing charges.i was all the shit bags under the sun and the upshot was that me and her didn't speak for 2 years.

When my sister was 57 she died if breast cancer.She had long divorced her violent husband.But i often think if the cause of her cancer could have been caused by him.

I don't regret what i did,and i wont apologise for it.But i can never forget the way she turned on me.

Was i wrong???

[Speedo1968]

There seems to be a lot of ADHD's ( Attention Deficit Hyper Activity Disorder ) in Thailand. From my many years here ( since 1996 ) it is noticeable in children from their early years, particularly with males, and seems to follow the male line. Have rarely seen in females, and when seen it was probably more a self protective event rather than ADHD's itself. Isaan for some reason, or people from this area show more cases.

For school teachers it can be distracting, even dangerous and certainly disruptive in a class.

[BritManToo]

My sister(now deceased) married a guy who was a football thug.We all knew he liked a drink and could sometimes get out of hand.We tolerated his behavior because we knew my sister loved him.When sober he was 100% my nice guy,but with a booze inside him he was a nasty bastard.

I think you'll find most women who associate with violent men actually enjoy the violence.

They don't want Mr. nice when sober, they want Mr. violent and drunk.

It often isn't a long term relationship, but it seems to fulfill a passing need for the woman.

As you discovered, your interference wasn't appreciated.

[ozyjon]

I was also,,,

staggered when I first came here that guns and cigarettes are pixelated,

yet slapping, beating, and raping are allowed - now it just disgusts me.

I had absolutely no idea what the pixelated items were, i was completely

fooled,, it worked on me, i was more shocked when i was told they used

fake blood instead of the real thing.

[Kaalle]

My sister(now deceased) married a guy who was a football thug.We all knew he liked a drink and could sometimes get out of hand.We tolerated his behavior because we knew my sister loved him.When sober he was 100% my nice guy,but with a booze inside him he was a nasty bastard.

I think you'll find most women who associate with violent men actually enjoy the violence.

They don't want Mr. nice when sober, they want Mr. violent and drunk.

It often isn't a long term relationship, but it seems to fulfill a passing need for the woman.

As you discovered, your interference wasn't appreciated.

This is almost the stupidest thing I have read in my whole life.

[Thechook]

Seen it on a number of occasions, thai man slaps and yells at his wife/girlfriend in public places and nobody ever batters an eyelid. You also see it frequently on Thai soaps. This maybe a reason why some educated thai women want a farang man, they want a little respect.

[Thian]

I've seen Thai couples fighting in public several times, nobody does anything to stop it (including me). In Western countries i stopped many fights like that though but not here.

When Thai couples are about to split up they often make a scene in public, sometimes the guy gets very violent but the girls don't try to run away.

Also sometimes it's just playfighting, i would look pretty stupid if i interviened in that.

The worst i 've seen was on Samui, there was a boxingtournament that night and many pickups full of young boys drove around. Then there was much congestion and one white new car horned for some reason...many boys came out of the pickups and totally smashed the car that had horned once. They even broke the doors out of the car. A farang was driving it, a thai lady escaped out of the car holding a baby in her arms.

There were 300 people watching it, also securityguards, and nobody did a thing.

Later the police arrived and all fighters were still there in the congestion. Then i left.

My wife also has a sexy collegue who likes rich violent boys. One even broke her (new) nose but she's still with him because he drives a......Benz.

I just let them do whatever they like as long as it's not me or my friends.

[sawadee1947]

for Thais it's a part of normal life. So what?

[Kaalle]

for Thais it's a part of normal life. So what?

During the civil war in Liberia it was a normal way of life to kill, rape, decapitate and eat people. So what?

Great line of reasoning...

Edited April 1, 2016 by Kaalle

[dunroaming]

Thailand is not the only country that suffers from the locals turning a blind eye to domestic violence. There are plenty of other countries where women are mistreated in this way and much worse. Pakistan being a good example.

The video is being used to illustrate a point but shouldn't be taken literally. Who knows what footage ended up on the cutting room floor. I think most of us who have lived/live in Thailand will have seen domestic violence and also the total disregard of the locals. Very similar to the way that at serious road accidents people like to stand around and video the scene rather than help the victims.

What would be interesting would be to re-make the video with the man being a thief snatching the girls handbag and running off with it. Would more people be likely to chase after him or just pull out their phones and film it?

[Patsycat]

My sister(now deceased) married a guy who was a football thug.We all knew he liked a drink and could sometimes get out of hand.We tolerated his behavior because we knew my sister loved him.When sober he was 100% my nice guy,but with a booze inside him he was a nasty bastard.

I think you'll find most women who associate with violent men actually enjoy the violence.

They don't want Mr. nice when sober, they want Mr. violent and drunk.

It often isn't a long term relationship, but it seems to fulfill a passing need for the woman.

As you discovered, your interference wasn't appreciated.

I put up with it for five years before leaving, before he killed me.

He moved onto another woman and supposedly beat her too.

I did not enjoy it one bit.

[balo]

It's an American guy that posted the video who btw speaks excellent Thai .

I doubt Thais themselves care so much, ignorance , Thainess etc.