Reverse culture shock tips if you haven't lived in the U.S. for a really long time

[Jingthing]

I'm strongly leaning towards repatriating to the U.S.A.

As I've lived abroad for so many YEARS with very few trips back there during that time, I'm aware that lots of things have changed about living there.

I have some ideas, but either for serious or for fun, I'd like to invite people who think they might now about this, to make some comments.

Ideally it would from people who have lived abroad for many years and returned to live in the U.S. during the last few years.

I think people who have never really left would be less sensitive to the changes, as they would have happened so gradually.

Anyway, I'll start with some of things I think I know about.

-- Obamacare. You are required to have health insurance.

-- Cash. It's becoming less common to use cash for everyday transactions. Using cash at some places reveals you to be an Old Fogey.

-- Video entertainment. Streaming. I know how it goes in Thailand but not fully clear on what most U.S. people are doing.

-- Uber, etc. for rides and Uber-esque things for most everything else! "Sharing economy" code for the new poverty.

-- Young adults living at home FOR MUCH LONGER

-- Trump. Be careful about expressing pro or con Trump opinions. Feel out the crowd!

Edited April 15, 2016 by Jingthing

[kokesaat]

We spent 3 months in the US in 2014, then 6 months in 2015. That after being here for 19 years with only occasional shorter trips back to the US. A few of our observations:

We spent many 10's of thousands of dollars over those 2 vacations........90++% of it on credit cards. It's just so much easier than cash....because to get cash, you have to either go to a bank or to an ATM. With a credit card, you charge, you pay on line, you get a monthly statement showing all your expenses. Charge cards are only bad for people who can't pay their full balance each month.

Get reacquainted with tipping. If you eat out a lot (not fast food), those tips can add up quickly.

You'll be pumping your own gas again!

Those fruits and veggies and meats only look cheap because they're sold by the pound.

Yes, you can buy clothes cheaper in the US than in Thailand.

I have mixed feelings about Thai driving.....it's horrible....but it makes me a more defensive driver. I've seen plenty of horrible accidents on the big highways back in the US.

I'll think of more later

[Jingthing]

Yes, even on my visits I noticed restaurant food had gone up a LOT, seemingly relatively more than other things, and of course the U.S. tipping culture (most extreme in the world) is a big adjustment after Thailand.

I don't drive in Thailand but was already used to pumping gas in the U.S. for decades.

[KMartinHandyman]

Little is better in America now than Thailand. There are greedy,lying,rude,incompetent self absorbed idiots all over the planet.

Did I leave anything out?

[Jingthing]

Little is better in America now than Thailand. There are greedy,lying,rude,incompetent self absorbed idiots all over the planet.

Did I leave anything out?

The request was about reverse culture shock impressions. Hopefully of some specificity.

The topic has nothing to do with arguments of whether Thailand is better than the USA or vice versa.

Sensible people know there are pros and cons in living anywhere, and also there are built in advantages to living in your home country (no visas needed).

Decisions to expatriate or repatriate are made for all kinds of personal reasons.

Edited April 15, 2016 by Jingthing

[donnybay]

We are very lucky, we are free to live almost anywhere, well Europeans, North Americans ect.

Go back for 6 months see how you get on, nothing is final only death, you can always come back

Around my condo there are Farangs that moan all day about Thailand, most have Thai partners, i get sick of hearing about it, now I avoid them,"over charging, broken pavements, slow internet, greedy Thais etc etc" they start to make me depressed

Well guess what? nothing has changed from that first moment you landed in Thailand and loved it so much for its disorder and third world style of living, Thailand has not changed you have, not a knock at you OP

Have fun enjoy life, don't let petty things get you down

[Jingthing]

Oh well.

Seems another DUD thread in the making where people don't even bother to read the OP.

Anyway, thanks to kokesaat for one on topic and sincere reply.

[JLCrab]

OH well JT I'll be going to US of A next month for 3 weeks and I'll let you know of anything I encounter. One thing for me to remember is, when I check out at the Publix or Walmart, to not thank the the cashier in Thai.

Edited April 15, 2016 by JLCrab

[Diplomatico]

Some things I've found on my trips back:

- Being somewhat overwhelmed when walking into a grocery store and the many, many more items from which you have to choose.

- Traffic gridlock during rush hours. Depending upon where you move, it can be awful.

- On-line shopping and "to your door" delivery. It's what people do now.

- As mentioned previously by another poster, food prices are much higher than I had expected.

- Cleanliness of your immediate surroundings. Where I go back to visit, it looks 1,000 times newer than anywhere in Thailand.

- Also depending upon where you live, needing to own a car.

[ubonjoe]

JT you have just been here to long. You will never survive back in the states.

I know I couldn't. I cannot even conceive a long visit back there now.

[OJAS]

I think that the same is true for all of us who have been living in LOS for some time, regardless of our country of origin.

In my case I have progressively observed changes in life in the UK which are definitely not for the better from my perspective on various trips back home since moving out here 8 years ago - to the extent that I now feel a complete stranger in my home country whenever I go there. And the prospect of having to readjust myself to UK culture were I to move back there permanently is one which, quite frankly, I dread.

[fireplay]

Im in the states now for the last 4 months after 6 years in thailand...

Cashless society...

Delivery for everything by freelancers...lyft uber...restaurant food delivered by people...

Clothes shopping is cheap and everything fits...

The food...oh man so good!

7 11s...hahaha totally different...

Options options and more freaking options! Its overwhelming to go to the grocery store....

Gluten free whaaaa....

Everything just feels easier...such as opening bank accounts...

Laws organization...rules....police are real and unified sharks...

Expensive to violate anything....

Infrastructure...clean manicured...slightly sterile and disneyfied....

Convenience....soooo convenient....gyms! Wow! 30 bux a month check out la fitness! Modern...spacious raquetball basketball courts...pools...crossfit mixed with machines and free weights galore!! 20 different machines just for core/ abs!

Visa..what visa? Wheres my passport..who cares!!!! Jobs everywhere!!! So much work in every industry no work permit necessary!!!

Pot is legal and sold in dispensaries!!!

Minimum wage going up to 15 an hour!!!!

1st time home owner loans with 0 down!!!

Friendly people...i think just reflecting your smile...genuine nice courtous customer service...people interact with you with sincerity and curiousity and helpful mindfulness

Healthy yoga people!!

In austin there are hipsters rolling on motsai scooters...no helmet laws!!!

Mai pen rai sabai sabai!!!

It feels safe...and controlled...

And super fantastic internet...

Edited April 16, 2016 by fireplay

[Jingthing]

Well, this thread isn't about my personal decision to repatriate.

So I'm not going to go in detail about that. These factors are personally specific.

I've done my personal pro and con calculation about that, and my conclusion is that my long term survivability is better in the U.S. even though it would mean taking a quality of life hit in a number of ways but also some other things will be better.

I recognize the readjustment period would be painful and risky. But I want to avoid being the type of case NancyL sees in Chiang Mai ... people who should have left earlier if they could have and had a realistic path towards making that happen, and I can and I do.

I already know very well about the BIG PICTURE longer term differences between living in both countries.

For example in Thailand you can buy meds directly at pharmacies (a wonderful convenience); in the U.S. most everything is by scrip only and cost a fortune if you don't have insurance.

What I'm looking for here is for more recent changes. For one example, about internet access options.

Edited April 16, 2016 by Jingthing

[fireplay]

Oh and you dont need a car! Just rent one...you can pick it up off the street...car2go....its like 50 cents a minute or something...just pull up the app and gps locate the nearest car...go on over pop in and leave the car wherever!!! Its crazy!

[fireplay]

Oh and tv!!! Wowowow series are sooo good! Everything is dvr and on demand the cable sat channels are insane!!! You will love american TV!! I AM CURRENTLy banging through ray donovan...soooo good...and true detective 1st season was amazing!!!! Tv shows today in the west have gotten so edgy and smart and dark and complicated and weird and funny...even american commercials are all slick and catchy and well produced....

Edited April 16, 2016 by fireplay

[Jingthing]

Oh and tv!!! Wowowow series are sooo good! Everything is dvr and on demand the cable sat channels are insane!!! You will love american TV!! I AM CURRENTLy banging through ray donovan...soooo good...and true detective 1st season was amazing!!!! Tv shows today in the west have gotten so edgy and smart and dark and complicated and weird and funny...even american commercials are all slick and catchy and well produced....

That is not a problem in Thailand.

I agree this is the GOLDEN AGE of television.

Many good British shows as well.

I think it will be harder and much more expensive to access all of that in the U.S.

Wink wink say no more.

BTW, thank you to those who are getting this thread back to the ACTUAL topic.

Edited April 16, 2016 by Jingthing

[Jingthing]

Im in the states now for the last 4 months after 6 years in thailand...

...

Great stuff.

You make it sound EXCITING.

Edited April 16, 2016 by Jingthing

[dutchisaan]

Im in the states now for the last 4 months after 6 years in thailand...

Cashless society...

Delivery for everything by freelancers...lyft uber...restaurant food delivered by people...

Clothes shopping is cheap and everything fits...

The food...oh man so good!

7 11s...hahaha totally different...

Options options and more freaking options! Its overwhelming to go to the grocery store....

Gluten free whaaaa....

Everything just feels easier...such as opening bank accounts...

Laws organization...rules....police are real and unified sharks...

Expensive to violate anything....

Infrastructure...clean manicured...slightly sterile and disneyfied....

Convenience....soooo convenient....gyms! Wow! 30 bux a month check out la fitness! Modern...spacious raquetball basketball courts...pools...crossfit mixed with machines and free weights galore!! 20 different machines just for core/ abs!

Visa..what visa? Wheres my passport..who cares!!!! Jobs everywhere!!! So much work in every industry no work permit necessary!!!

Pot is legal and sold in dispensaries!!!

Minimum wage going up to 15 an hour!!!!

1st time home owner loans with 0 down!!!

Friendly people...i think just reflecting your smile...genuine nice courtous customer service...people interact with you with sincerity and curiousity and helpful mindfulness

Healthy yoga people!!

In austin there are hipsters rolling on motsai scooters...no helmet laws!!!

Mai pen rai sabai sabai!!!

It feels safe...and controlled...

And super fantastic internet...

I'm happy for you that you feel save and CONTROLLED!

[fireplay]

HahA naaa I don't personally feel controlled....but that is the seduction of the prison with invisible bars...golden handcuffs hey hey!!!

It is nice to know that electricity is properly controlled....no zippy zappy electrocution shit....but unfortunately fireworks are also tightly controlled...except in south dakota!! Hey hey!!!

Oh yea jingthing the lgbt movement is completely mainstream....

[Jingthing]

The "rules" enforcement thing isn't really a change. Obviously details of that might be. It's one of those cultural difference bigger picture pro and con things. It can bite both ways depending on the specific situation. That would be a culture shock to readjust but I think it would mostly be about going back to what I already know.

One cultural thing I look forward to is that in the U.S. you can assertively COMPLAIN, even raise your voice if warranted, and not necessary "lose face" or lose the conflict just for doing that. Actually you can usually "win" conflicts in the U.S. doing that if your POV has credibility. The Thai way of non confrontation, just silently sucking it up. doesn't suit my temperament. Also look forward to being able to honestly trash businesses that deserve it online without fear of being arrested.

Edited April 16, 2016 by Jingthing

[fireplay]

Complain protest ridicule political leaders and public figures...the threshhold for libel slander...Wow...yea freedom of speech...welcome home sir....though i even find myself lowering my voice and looking over my shoulder to see if anyone is listening when i talk about certain unmentionable topics related to the ole LOS....its crazy how deep that permeates into your being....

Edited April 16, 2016 by fireplay

[NancyL]

Fireplay -- where are you?

Jingthing's right. I see people here in Chiang Mai who simply wait too long to get themselves organized for a return to their home countries. By the time that they're frail, unable to care for themselves properly and often can't afford to have someone look after them, it's simply too daunting a task to return. These are the people who end up getting hit by a motorcycle driving up on the sidewalk as they make their daily trip outside the condo, venturing out for a few odds and ends at the mall and a little social interaction with the other old guys at the Tops food court.

I'm following this thread myself, because after eight years here, I'm realizing that Hubby and I don't have an obvious place to go, either, if we had to return to the U.S. He's paid into Medicare Part B and I'm a little too young for Medicare and fortunately we have some savings, so we could afford to look around for a time and would arrange for travel insurance before we left. But we don't have a home and our only relative, my brother, will probably tolerate us living in his basement for just a month or so. We haven't a clue where we'd live, never having children and not being close to my brother, our only sibling.

But, we need to get this organized sooner rather than later before we join the crew of frail retirees whose daily highlight is sitting around the Tops food court congratulating themselves on crossing Huay Kaew Road safely.

[fireplay]

Traveling around the States...just left austin currently in portland oregon...on my way to sf then la and back to chiang mai actually...I havent officially moved back...I am just setting things up for a move back here in about a year with hopefully my thai gf...

[Jingthing]

JT you have just been here to long. You will never survive back in the states.

I know I couldn't. I cannot even conceive a long visit back there now.

I think you may have been here longer than me.

I have made the calculation if I stay another 5 years or more, then there may be no realistic path to go back.

I see a path now and I feel it makes sense. There is a lot of personal detail going into my thinking, which is too personal to go into here.

Of course you may be right. Nobody can predict the future.

If things went totally bust in the U.S. and I could still manage the finances, flights leave the U.S. daily ...

Edited April 16, 2016 by Jingthing

[NancyL]

Yeah, I think that's what we should do. We came to Thailand two years ahead of retirement and spend a month in a "trial retirement" before we returned to the U.S., wound down our business, sold our house and farm and got rid of our stuff. Meanwhile, we used those two years to keep in touch with people we'd met in Thailand and learn everything we could about Chiang Mai.

We probably should do the same thing about returning to the U.S. Go back for a month or two and "try out" living there as returnees, come back here and get ourselves organized for the return.

For starters, I know from helping others that the Thai banks aren't really eager to see funds on deposit sent out of the country. We could start spoon feeding my 800,000 baht out during that return time.

[Jingthing]

Repatriating money is a BIG concern.

I will need to sell my CONDO and repatriate the money.

If I can't do that, I can't realistically go back

As far as 800K funds yes that is hard to repatriate but I'm less concerned about that ... could spend down even take bags of cash on the airplane.

I haven't mentioned before, I actually have about a TWO YEAR plan to make this happen.
It's about my personal finances timing more than anything.

If I could snap my fingers and be where I think I can be in two years, I would leave next week.

So for those who like (or hate) my posts on Thaivisa ... there will be plenty of time to adjust. Ha ha.

Edited April 16, 2016 by Jingthing

[NancyL]

We're thinking the time for us to go back is when I turn 65 in three years. I'll be able to get Medicare and start up a corporate pension. It would be good not to have to touch SS and let that build up. Right now we're doing fine in Thailand on Hubby's corporate pension and SS, but it would be a real stretch in the U.S. and neither one of us fancy working as greeters at Walmart. That's where old farts go to work, isn't it?

[Jingthing]

I think there may be 1000 applicants for each of those mythical Walmart greeter gigs! Also many Walmarts have SHUT DOWN.

[fireplay]

Hey you can get a job as an uber driver now!!! Work your own hours...tons of work!! People are making great money driving people around...and they pay for keeping your car clean!

[fireplay]

EVERYONE is hiring now in the States...