rogeroc Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 SoiBiker, on 04 May 2016 - 01:41, said: Seems like the identity of man as 'provider' is more important to some than others.Personally, from my perspective it seems like an outdated concept from previous generations. The world has moved on. Since your wife earns more than you, did you stay home to raise kids? Certainly in the UK and i guess in many other Western countries most educated women would simply not allow a man to become house husband. The reason why is that he could simply divorce her and walk away with the kids and most of her money !. A very familiar story the other way round, but for some reason lots of us guys have not got our heads around this yet ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rogeroc Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 SoiBiker, on 04 May 2016 - 01:41, said: Seems like the identity of man as 'provider' is more important to some than others.Personally, from my perspective it seems like an outdated concept from previous generations. The world has moved on. Agree totally from your perspective in a Western / Western relationship with each party having same earning potential. I think it is different in a cross cultural relationship where the income earning potentials are unequal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrTuner Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 There are girls here who neither need nor want your money, these girls have their own dignity, self respect and pride. You cant buy them, they will not be subservient to some insecure man, be he Thai or farang. If you can't buy them, what use are they to us?Sugarmamas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoiBiker Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 Seems like the identity of man as 'provider' is more important to some than others. Personally, from my perspective it seems like an outdated concept from previous generations. The world has moved on. Since your wife earns more than you, did you stay home to raise kids? Nope. No kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rimmer Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 A nasty slur has been removed along with a couple of quoted replies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agent Sumo Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 Once again AS i think you are partially correct. We are conditioned in the West to believe in free love but in my opinion, in the real world, there is nothing disrespectful in either making direct or indirect payment to a Thai girl. A relationship can still be good with either option. Those i disrespect are the Western guys who have had the opportunity to earn 6 to 10 times the salary of almost every Thai girl but are then proud that they get everything for free. I tend to agree there's nothing fundamentally wrong or disrespectful in paying a woman a salary to provide "ongoing service" but when those who do it suggest that every man is doing the same as they are, I feel compelled to explain why they're wrong Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
totally thaied up Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 Once again AS i think you are partially correct. We are conditioned in the West to believe in free love but in my opinion, in the real world, there is nothing disrespectful in either making direct or indirect payment to a Thai girl. A relationship can still be good with either option. Those i disrespect are the Western guys who have had the opportunity to earn 6 to 10 times the salary of almost every Thai girl but are then proud that they get everything for free. As a wage earner, I get 50-90 times the average thai wage, at times only 20 times. And, I'm on the low rung of offshore wages. Many of you guys make $1000./day. The ole lady stays at home taking care of our kids, I bring home the $$$. I'd have to be a real ass to expect her to go work for 300baht/day. In the west if the husband stops bringing home $$$, do you honestly think the majority of marriages would last? If he decides to just stay home and not work, I'm guessing the wife would pack up the kids and leave. Money is one of the major reasons for divorce. I guess I'm just not as worldly as some of you who contributes nothing ($$$) to the relationship. You must be the total package. I think most here have not seen real village living. I am out at my village today for a funeral and this is within a 200-meter radius of my house. This is where on average 3.4 million rural poor live and you all wonder why some people think the way they do. Sure, not all villages are like this but I can tell you, many are and this is nothing compared to what I have seen in Isaan. Head back into the real back blocks of Lao and it is a lot worse yet again. Then we have people on this forum who may have never been off his barstool or even just a few miles out of town and then they say, your low-so for wondering why some here pay their partner a wage or stipend when it is certainly not like this anywhere in the West. You all wonder where this starts from - well take a look at the photo guys as a for many, this is as good as it gets Edit: only 35 minutes away from the Moat and city centre of Chiang Mai Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BritManToo Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 ^^ Luxury, when I were young, I lived in paper bag, in middle of road. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theguyfromanotherforum Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 I think most here have not seen real village living. I am out at my village today for a funeral and this is within a 200-meter radius of my house. This is where on average 3.4 million rural poor live and you all wonder why some people think the way they do. Sure, not all villages are like this but I can tell you, many are and this is nothing compared to what I have seen in Isaan. Head back into the real back blocks of Lao and it is a lot worse yet again. Then we have people on this forum who may have never been off his barstool or even just a few miles out of town and then they say, your low-so for wondering why some here pay their partner a wage or stipend when it is certainly not like this anywhere in the West. You all wonder where this starts from - well take a look at the photo guys as a for many, this is as good as it gets Edit: only 35 minutes away from the Moat and city centre of Chiang Mai IMG20160504140451_opt.jpgIMG20160504140645_opt.jpgIMG20160504140818_opt.jpgIMG20160504140924_opt.jpgIMG20160504140936_opt.jpgIMG20160504141013_opt.jpg So, why do most westerners, particularly the "wealthy" ones who are always sending me home to "earn more money and then come back" are living in places like this? Is it the sudden urge to help the needy? Help a poor Thai family? Is it also fair to say that people who live in these villages have absolutely no clue how the "normal" relationships work? I think we all know the answer to this question. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
totally thaied up Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 You seem to know the answers to all the questions; yet if your partner did not come from a middle-class family, there is a fair chance this is what you would have come across. If your partner would have originated from a low-income family, I think you would have been thinking very different to the way you feel today. Maybe the fact is that you not have even married her. If the boot was on the other foot and she was poor, have you asked yourself what you would have done? By the way, I spend only around three nights a year in this village. This is my partners home and when she is older, this is where she wants to die, as countless generations of her family have done in the past but I gather you do not see this. Her Mother is now comfortable, so are her two sisters and that is all she wants for in her life. Heading off to a hotel for a weekend away is not on her cards as she would prefer to spend it with her family. That is how it works and I will not change a thing about it. No, for some like yourself, I think material things may seem important and saying things such as 'Is it the sudden urge to help the needy? Help a poor Thai family?' It is almost laughable as you do not have any control over those that you sincerely care about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrTuner Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 ^^ Luxury, when I were young, I lived in paper bag, in middle of road. You had a road? Lucky you, I had to walk 30km to the edge of the woods to find a trail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrTuner Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 Seems like the identity of man as 'provider' is more important to some than others. Personally, from my perspective it seems like an outdated concept from previous generations. The world has moved on. Since your wife earns more than you, did you stay home to raise kids? Nope. No kids. I just have to ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bow Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 N We pay stuff like the rent and el. The rest of my 40.000 salary we spit 50/50. Very common in my country in north-west europe. My wife does what she wants with her 50%, I do I what want with my 50%. no questions asked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uthaithanirules Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 I just think that guys like you deliberately hunt for women who need some form of financial support. You know what it is you're doing but you're just trying to give it respectability by comparing it to a traditional breadwinner/homemaker situation. Keep telling yourself it's "housekeeping" if it makes you feel better but you're not fooling anyone Those i disrespect are the Western guys who have had the opportunity to earn 6 to 10 times the salary of almost every Thai girl but are then proud that they get everything for free. Rogeroc answered that for me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uthaithanirules Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 So, why do most westerners, particularly the "wealthy" ones who are always sending me home to "earn more money and then come back" are living in places like this? Is it the sudden urge to help the needy? Help a poor Thai family? Its simply because they have a family, half a dozen living under the same roof, same amount again visiting every 2nd night, just pop round say hello in the middle of the day. Something Ive never experienced back in Australia, you might get one or two occasions in the year where its a family BBQ and you might have a dozen people there, but that will be it, count on one hand the amount of times youd have that many people around throught the year....certainly not every darn day like it happens in rural thailand. The thais win when it comes to family. As for the condition of the place, who cares, he should have turned the camera around and showed you the view Is it also fair to say that people who live in these villages have absolutely no clue how the "normal" relationships work? I think we all know the answer to this question. See, Its when you say stuff like this?! Seriously dude Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uthaithanirules Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 Lol at you guys, seems to be a TVF pastime that if the girl grew up in the village and is uneducated she has to be a twit. Or if she wants to stay at home look after a bunch of kids, I have to be a throwback from the 1950s, 1950s in the west that is. Not like the thais would really understand if you tried using a term like throwback to the 2490s And everything isn't about money, okey dokey. ...every damn thing is about money man ..every damn thing is about money man Ah the thoughts of yet another 2 week millionaire or blow in. You obviously dont live here, all about money, you dont have a clue, all it does is reveal which pool you fish in. There are girls here who neither need nor want your money, these girls have their own dignity, self respect and pride. You cant buy them, they will not be subservient to some insecure man, be he Thai or farang. Best you get back to the production line, dont foget tomorrow go WU and sent more money for you teerak. Will ask you again, do you actually live here? Or are you posting from some place like Woga Woga? Some differences, but its not rocket science man, a lot of its still the same crap you get everywhere else, especially with all those little disagreements between family members. Even with all the crazy superstitions, thats different for each person, so whatever Dont act like there are one group of humans so remotely different from all the rest on the planet that all the rest are incapable of understanding Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mgjackson69 Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 Look into how many Thai elders are in old folks warehouses nursing homes, then consider which "civilization" has the better sense of family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StreetCowboy Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 Look into how many Thai elders are in old folks warehouses nursing homes, then consider which "civilization" has the better sense of family. How many British grandparents do you see collecting cardboard at the side of the street? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bow Posted May 7, 2016 Share Posted May 7, 2016 We split my monthly salary 50/50. I spend 50 % on what I want and my wife spends her 50 % on what she wants. No questions asked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StreetCowboy Posted May 7, 2016 Share Posted May 7, 2016 Seems like the identity of man as 'provider' is more important to some than others. Personally, from my perspective it seems like an outdated concept from previous generations. The world has moved on. Speak for yourself... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoiBiker Posted May 7, 2016 Share Posted May 7, 2016 Seems like the identity of man as 'provider' is more important to some than others. Personally, from my perspective it seems like an outdated concept from previous generations. The world has moved on. Speak for yourself... What part of "Personally, from my perspective..." led you to believe I was doing anything else but that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agent Sumo Posted May 7, 2016 Share Posted May 7, 2016 Seems like the identity of man as 'provider' is more important to some than others. Personally, from my perspective it seems like an outdated concept from previous generations. The world has moved on. Speak for yourself... What part of "Personally, from my perspective..." led you to believe I was doing anything else but that? Some people are simply compelled to have the last word Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StreetCowboy Posted May 7, 2016 Share Posted May 7, 2016 Seems like the identity of man as 'provider' is more important to some than others. Personally, from my perspective it seems like an outdated concept from previous generations. The world has moved on. Speak for yourself... What part of "Personally, from my perspective..." led you to believe I was doing anything else but that? My apologies;I should've made clear the specific comment to which I was responding: SB: "... The world has moved on." SC: "Speak for yourself." Implying that some of us have not, and that your claim that the world has moved on is as much a personal opinion as the sentence that preceded it. SC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StreetCowboy Posted May 7, 2016 Share Posted May 7, 2016 Seems like the identity of man as 'provider' is more important to some than others. Personally, from my perspective it seems like an outdated concept from previous generations. The world has moved on. Speak for yourself... What part of "Personally, from my perspective..." led you to believe I was doing anything else but that? Some people are simply compelled to have the last word Exactly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thai3 Posted May 8, 2016 Share Posted May 8, 2016 Thailand has not moved on though, cough up you stingy foreigners Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moo du Posted May 8, 2016 Share Posted May 8, 2016 Have had some of the most fullfilling relationships in my life with Thai women.I always started with respect and dignity.Always got it back. Never had a money issue.I-honestly- wonder if you pay a woman a salary how can you get the satisfaction of a true and honest relationship based in mutual love and respect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luk AJ Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 Have had some of the most fullfilling relationships in my life with Thai women.I always started with respect and dignity.Always got it back. Never had a money issue.I-honestly- wonder if you pay a woman a salary how can you get the satisfaction of a true and honest relationship based in mutual love and respect. I can only speak for myself, but I pay her a salary which she uses to help her family and pay the loan on her condo. 16y together in a relationship of mutual love and respect. So you can stop wondering. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theguyfromanotherforum Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 Have had some of the most fullfilling relationships in my life with Thai women.I always started with respect and dignity.Always got it back. Never had a money issue.I-honestly- wonder if you pay a woman a salary how can you get the satisfaction of a true and honest relationship based in mutual love and respect. I can only speak for myself, but I pay her a salary which she uses to help her family and pay the loan on her condo. 16y together in a relationship of mutual love and respect. So you can stop wondering. I'd respect you too if you paid me salary which I would use to pay my family and the loan on my condo. Regardz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
motyduke Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 I really dont understand why paying a salary to a wife. If both work and make money, why ? It would make me feel i have a slave or a maid. And i think it changes the relationship Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agent Sumo Posted May 9, 2016 Share Posted May 9, 2016 Have had some of the most fullfilling relationships in my life with Thai women.I always started with respect and dignity.Always got it back. Never had a money issue.I-honestly- wonder if you pay a woman a salary how can you get the satisfaction of a true and honest relationship based in mutual love and respect. I can only speak for myself, but I pay her a salary which she uses to help her family and pay the loan on her condo. 16y together in a relationship of mutual love and respect. So you can stop wondering. Mutual love and respect?? If the relationship ceases to exist if the salary stops then it's hardly built on love and respect, is it? Obviously, tell yourself whatever you like but don't expect anyone with half a brain to be fooled Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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