You take up Muay Thai & they suggest you take Sumo instead....

You write books and blog on forums about your fighting camp exploits and everyone that reads it sniggers behind your back.

You get your bum gun refitted for a WIDE load.

Is that the same as the 'wide spray angle' bum gun option.....aka, 'tood yai' model?

A toilet break - is when you've BROKEN The Toilet......

OR

A blocked toilet is the one your arse cheeks are stuck in.

When your name rhymes with 'The Weather'.

Or perhaps Feather, Leather, Heather or Nether

Then it really does becomes cattle class.

Yes.

You know Ur getting fat when you sit in economy and your body flows over into the seats next to you, leaving the poor suckers in those chairs fighting for space.

^ I can't stand those fat people. They come and sit down and have to take up both arm rests and shoe horn themselves in. To get up takes assistance from someone next to them. They should make fat seats and charge by the Kilo over the base minimum like they do luggage. I fly a lot and I dread when I see some fat person walking towards me and then starts looking up at seat numbers. Its like a bad lotto game. Sadly most fat people stink too ( at least I have found that to be the case)

It's line of the main reasons we only do business class now.

I can't stand drunk loudmouths,

Smelly dirty people that can't bathe before the flight OR wear deodorant

Fat sacks of crap

Little Prix swinging off the backrest of my chair or kneeing it

Tools that spend 80% of their time tapping their screens

Flickers getting up and down constantly

Idiot in the isles bumping you

FARTS

Screaming Brats

ECONOMY is hell. Thank farq im rich enuf to fly business.

Off tangent from the OP, Unfortunately I have had to fly too much to swing business class. I have got to do it a few times on a upgrade but to pay that out of my own pocket..I will pass. The prices are ridiculous. I do not need all the bells and whistles but I hear what your saying Neverdie. At my height and weight I fit perfectly in economy and usually meet some really nice folks. I would say my luck has been outstanding as I seldom ever experience much on your list and only had a few instances like I mentioned with Fat or stinky people and in those moments I pay for the upgrade to "Economy plus". Of course Airline companies make a world of difference. I now fly EVA exclusively. The clientele is polite and usually very quiet. The service is outstanding. I am done with Delta, United and their affiliates. Crap clientele, rude stewardesses, the planes all smell and are dirty. And keeping it simple I absolutely do not eat airplane food so I do not care whats served. I request "No Food" when I book my flight. Very convenient. Its sad to watch fat people chow everything brought to them. I eat before the flight and do not eat again until I am at my destination sans some snacks I brought in my carry on.

Anyway back to You know you are too fat when........."

Actually cannot contribute to it. I'm not fat. Being fat must be hell.

Then it really does becomes cattle class.

Yes.

You know Ur getting fat when you sit in economy and your body flows over into the seats next to you, leaving the poor suckers in those chairs fighting for space.

^ I can't stand those fat people. They come and sit down and have to take up both arm rests and shoe horn themselves in. To get up takes assistance from someone next to them. They should make fat seats and charge by the Kilo over the base minimum like they do luggage. I fly a lot and I dread when I see some fat person walking towards me and then starts looking up at seat numbers. Its like a bad lotto game. Sadly most fat people stink too ( at least I have found that to be the case)

Hey - wait/weight a minute....I'd be charged more if they charged by the kilo but the only thing that is wide enough to overflow are my shoulders.....

Recently flew back in & took the middle seat so my wife could have the window.....The Chinese guy next to me proceeds to put his leg on/under MY side of the center seat frame.....I pushed his leg with mine back where it should have been - no problems for the rest of the flight & he stood back & let us exit first.....

On one flight though ny seat was next to a morbidly obese lady that literally exploded into my seat....After I spotted the seat she flashed me a big smile ...... I walked past to the FA & showed her my ticket & explained and they reseated me......

The lady had a great smile - probably good with/to everything except ingestable substances.....

As an aside, I went to wedding reception in Liverpool once and the friend I went with took one look at the bride and remarked,

"This is the first wedding Ive been to where there's a bouncy castle."

Unfortunately the bride's fanily heard this.

Cruel. But funny.

when your mrs needs 2 sherpas to help her get to the cowgirl position.

When you can’t enlarge the seat belt any more.

When you sit around the house, you SIT AROUND THE HOUSE!

You know you're fat when people try to use you as shade when you go shopping at an outdoor market.

Don't know, I've never been fat.

Then it really does becomes cattle class.

Yes.

You know Ur getting fat when you sit in economy and your body flows over into the seats next to you, leaving the poor suckers in those chairs fighting for space.

^ I can't stand those fat people. They come and sit down and have to take up both arm rests and shoe horn themselves in. To get up takes assistance from someone next to them. They should make fat seats and charge by the Kilo over the base minimum like they do luggage. I fly a lot and I dread when I see some fat person walking towards me and then starts looking up at seat numbers. Its like a bad lotto game. Sadly most fat people stink too ( at least I have found that to be the case)

Hey - wait/weight a minute....I'd be charged more if they charged by the kilo but the only thing that is wide enough to overflow are my shoulders.....

Recently flew back in & took the middle seat so my wife could have the window.....The Chinese guy next to me proceeds to put his leg on/under MY side of the center seat frame.....I pushed his leg with mine back where it should have been - no problems for the rest of the flight & he stood back & let us exit first.....

On one flight though ny seat was next to a morbidly obese lady that literally exploded into my seat....After I spotted the seat she flashed me a big smile ...... I walked past to the FA & showed her my ticket & explained and they reseated me......

The lady had a great smile - probably good with/to everything except ingestable substances.....

Pay up, you tight wad. 55555

Or should I say, tall streak of pelican poo.

When you cant enlarge the seat belt any more.

When you have to join two leather belts to obtain the circumference needed to wrap around your guts.

False advertising.

When the only letters of the alphabet you know are KFC.

When you can't fit your hand into a pringles tube no more.

When you have to use a mattress as a maxi-pad.

Or this! 55555

When you squeeze into the elevator/lift & it won't move....

When you nick yourself shaving --------> and gravy comes out.....

When you get an erection - and can't see it....

I know I know I know....But funny...

When you can't stand on one leg to put a sock on.

When you break the toilet seat not only at home but at work as well.

When kids mistake you for a jumping castle.

When people start to sue you for invasion.

Australian sues Etihad over obese passenger - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-33731642

When the Airline charges you per kilo not per seat.

"do not pay for a seat but pay a fixed price per kilogram, which varies according to the length of the route."

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/news/Samoa-Air-introduces-XL-class-for-larger-passengers/

Then it really does becomes cattle class.

Yes.

You know Ur getting fat when you sit in economy and your body flows over into the seats next to you, leaving the poor suckers in those chairs fighting for space.

^ I can't stand those fat people. They come and sit down and have to take up both arm rests and shoe horn themselves in. To get up takes assistance from someone next to them. They should make fat seats and charge by the Kilo over the base minimum like they do luggage. I fly a lot and I dread when I see some fat person walking towards me and then starts looking up at seat numbers. Its like a bad lotto game. Sadly most fat people stink too ( at least I have found that to be the case)

I think Southwest Airlines in the US was the first to enact this policy of charging for two seats. They don't have a business class (i dont think) so not an option. Below is the latest article i found.

http://abcnews.go.com/Travel/fat-fly-passenger-sues-southwest-airlines-discriminatory-actions/story?id=16271932