Westerners waiing to Thais.Why would you?

[garryjohns]

I was about to reply to a thread that just got closed, and this was to be my input in reply to a poster who suggested waiing to make ammends to a disgruntled Thai , so thought i would open a new thread.

IMO waiing should be left to Thais as they naturally understand the nuances and true meanings etc of the act.

If not done 100% right it can give totally the wrong message and in the case mentioned of it being recommended as a means of making ammends is fraught with danger. It could well set off a more volatile reaction than make peace as was the motive.

To me, it would have to me one of the more cringeworthy acts i see in this country. ie a non Thai waiing to a Thai.

Do you wai and why?

[Mark123456]

I return wais. Why? Because I don't like to be rude. Ignoring a wai, in my opinion at least, would be akin to ignoring the outstretched hand of a Westerner who I had just met.

I can think of dozens of things that foreigners do in Thailand that make me cringe but waiing is not one of them.

Edited May 25, 2016 by Mark123456

[villagefarang]

Yes, I do most of the time. It is the polite thing to do.

[beano2274]

I always Wai my MIL. And if someone Wai's me then I return the compliment

[MadMac]

Nothing wrong with it, just a different form of greeting. You can use one hand or just nod if your hands are full. Imagine they would do that nose thing as the Kiwis or kiss you like the communists

[daoyai]

I do cringe if I see it done wrong but it becomes natural with time and understanding. just as you may learn the languge with time, hopefully you learn the customs.

[pgrahmm]

Learn how to do it - respect......

We are in Their culture & Their world.....

Not yours....Learn to respect & accept centuries old traditions and cultural nuances.....

Or leave.....

[Mark123456]

I do cringe if I see it done wrong but it becomes natural with time and understanding. just as you may learn the languge with time, hopefully you learn the customs.

Why be so precious about it? If somebody does it wrong at least they're trying. Nothing for you to cringe about. Strange attitude.

[JingerBen]

I do cringe if I see it done wrong but it becomes natural with time and understanding. just as you may learn the languge with time, hopefully you learn the customs.

Spot on.

Age and status are considerations as well.

[billd766]

Yes, I do most of the time. It is the polite thing to do.

Me too.

[mania]

Do you wai and why?

Why not??

If a Thai extends a handshake to you do you also ignore that since handshakes is not *their* culture???

You worry about doing it exactly right or giving the wrong impression if done wrong but in the years I have been here

I have never seen a wai unappreciated nor not returned

So yes 100% I wai ....as it is the polite thing to do IMHO

Edited May 25, 2016 by mania

[Lannig]

I do wai too and I make some efforts to do it properly (gesture, height) when facing an old person or some local VIP. Of course I'm sure that I'm not doing it 100% properly (the exact rules seemingly beyond the reach of any non-Thai ... and quite some Thais too) but I try to make it look like I'm doing my best.

When in Rome...

On the other hand I feel a bit uncomfortable when I see foreigners wai-ing children. I've been told many times that this is not appropriate. Actually this does seem to bother the Thai people I know, unlike the gentle pat on the head that so many travel guides insist as being a no-no.

Edited May 25, 2016 by Lannig

[KhonKaenKowboy]

I wai them when they bring me a cold beer...haven't had to do it this year. It is more appropriate since the facilities to wash hands are often lacking soap/towels...if there is even a sink.

[djayz]

I return wais. Why? Because I don't like to be rude. Ignoring a wai, in my opinion at least, would be akin to ignoring the outstretched hand of a Westerner who I had just met.

I can think of dozens of things that foreigners do in Thailand that make me cringe but waiing is not one of them.

+++ Spot on. ?

[NongMalee]

Wai Not.

[BuaBS]

Thai's do it too much. When I go to the bank or even some shops, they wai me . Very unnecessary , but I kinda wai back. The problem is that I always have something in my hands , so my waiing back is awkward but it doesn't seem to irritate or offend them.

[northernjohn]

I do cringe if I see it done wrong but it becomes natural with time and understanding. just as you may learn the languge with time, hopefully you learn the customs.

I admit I do not Wai but I do nod my head and say thank you in Thai.

It is my understanding that there is three different positions for the hands when Waiing. with all the waiing that is going on here could some one give the reason for each one.

Like do you wai first or do they wai first.

Actually it would be nice to have an article about it. I think I will check my arch enemy Google. I say arch enemy because I can generally find articles that refute the other one on the same subject.

[thaiduncankk]

It is a sign of mutual respect.

If you don't return a wai, I don't imagine many Thais are going to lose sleep over it. However, if you do wai them, they will not judge you on how 'correctly' you do it.

[arithai12]

When in Rome, do as the Romans do.

And it's a nice gesture too.

[FolkGuitar]

The wai is a symbol of respect. The degree of the wai demonstrates the level of respect. We foreigners trample more than our share of Thai customs out of ignorance. It's good that we can at least show some modicum of respect for the culture this way.

In Japan, bowing is the symbol of respect, with the degree of depth of the bow significant and based on the level of respect shown. While it's not necessary to get down on one's knees and kowtow, at least bowing the head demonstrates respect for the 'idea' of bowing. Yet there are a few very stupid foreigners who stand up and say "I will bow to no man!" believing that this somehow makes them a better person. It doesn't. It just shows them to be cultural bores,

[Johpa]

Oh please, in casual situations there is no right or wrong way to wai. Sure when greeting a higher ranking monk, or greeting a respected elderly person at a wedding or funeral, or attempting to curry favor and kiss the derriere of some corrupt local official you might be more focused upon where you place your hands. But when you are joining your neighbors for food or drink, and this is for the minority of us here on TV who interact with our Thai neighbors on a daily basis and do not consider a housing estate to be a muubaan, few Thais pay much attention to the details of how you, as a non-Thai, wai.

[garryjohns]

I do cringe if I see it done wrong but it becomes natural with time and understanding. just as you may learn the languge with time, hopefully you learn the customs.

I admit I do not Wai but I do nod my head and say thank you in Thai.

It is my understanding that there is three different positions for the hands when Waiing. with all the waiing that is going on here could some one give the reason for each one.

Like do you wai first or do they wai first.

Actually it would be nice to have an article about it. I think I will check my arch enemy Google. I say arch enemy because I can generally find articles that refute the other one on the same subject.

I admit I do not Wai but I do nod my head and say thank you in Thai.

I do not wai either, a smile and a nod is sufficient for me ..mostly for the same reasons as you point out.

Edited May 25, 2016 by garryjohns

[Aj Mick]

I either return or acknowledge a wai, but I rarely initiate one. On the odd occasion when it is clearly appropriate I way, such as when meeting a friend's parents. Even then it is often more a case of following others, than being first to wai.

It makes me cringe when I see foreigners trying to be polite by waiing all and sundry, even the waitress in a restaurant. Poor souls, they don't realise how impolite they are. It makes the clearly younger and / or "lower rank" person feel vey uncomfortable.

[WinnieTheKhwai]

this was to be my input in reply to a poster who suggested waiing to make ammends to a disgruntled Thai , so thought i would open a new thread.

Making amends to a disgruntled person is never a good reason to wai. Also waitresses, air-hosties and anyone else wai-ing as part of their job description doesn't require more than a nod.

But for anyone else and especially family and friend's family: by all means return the wai.

Edited May 25, 2016 by WinnieTheKhwai

[HampiK]

It depends on the person.

But yes, to some person i do a wai. Sometimes I only smile and do a nod. It all depends to whom.

To friends parents or some important persons I do a wai. To a security guard or a waitress i not, because so far I understand this is not appropriate.

The thais I know, appreciate if you do a wai, even when you do it at the wrong position. Thais also understand that you are farang.

[Lannig]

I either return or acknowledge a wai, but I rarely initiate one. On the odd occasion when it is clearly appropriate I way, such as when meeting a friend's parents. Even then it is often more a case of following others, than being first to wai.

Hmmm.... you're really supposed to wai first when meeting an aged person or someone important IMO. Not doing so might raise some eyebrows. I certainly do it.

It makes me cringe when I see foreigners trying to be polite by waiing all and sundry, even the waitress in a restaurant. Poor souls, they don't realise how impolite they are. It makes the clearly younger and / or "lower rank" person feel vey uncomfortable.

Good point and I missed waiters and such in my previous post about children. Been corrected quite a few times by my Thai relatives and close friends doing this, so I avoid doing it now. Edited May 25, 2016 by Lannig

[Aj Mick]

I either return or acknowledge a wai, but I rarely initiate one. On the odd occasion when it is clearly appropriate I way, such as when meeting a friend's parents. Even then it is often more a case of following others, than being first to wai.

Hmmm.... you're really supposed to wai first when meeting an aged person or someone important IMO. Not doing so might raise some eyebrows. I certainly do it.

It makes me cringe when I see foreigners trying to be polite by waiing all and sundry, even the waitress in a restaurant. Poor souls, they don't realise how impolite they are. It makes the clearly younger and / or "lower rank" person feel vey uncomfortable.

Good point and I missed waiters and such in my previous post about children. Been corrected quite a few times by my Thai relatives and close friends doing this, so I avoid doing it now.

Given that I am already in my sixties, have lived in Thailand in several stints for about 16 of the past 35 years, have mixed with Thai folk (and have a certain amount of status within some circles) and speak their language, I have a fair idea of who should be waied, and who should do it first….. It is not something I think about much.

[dcnx]

I only wai bar girls. ;-)

Actually, I do wai when I need to. Everyone else gets a nod.

Edited May 25, 2016 by dcnx

[daoyai]

I wai water in a pool or the ocean. If you don't wai nam, you should not go in.

[andrew55]

this was to be my input in reply to a poster who suggested waiing to make ammends to a disgruntled Thai , so thought i would open a new thread.

Making amends to a disgruntled person is never a good reason to wai. Also waitresses, air-hosties and anyone else wai-ing as part of their job description doesn't require more than a nod.

But for anyone else and especially family and friend's family: by all means return the wai.

Interesting point that again shows nuances is that business or first class pax will more often return an air-hosties wai.