why are thais never ashamed?

[dazzz]

My wife has a brother whos wife left him so he became a monk but had to leave the village as he was screwing a married woman and drinking .He then went to a temple in udon thani where according to his own words they sold drugs.
When my wifes mother and brother died this year he gave up on the monk and came home , no money no work.
I asked him and 2 friends to put 45 concrete posts and barbed wire up in an allotment garden . Paid them and went the next day to look and they had all fallen over. The posts were 2 metres and i said the wire only had to be 1.2 m high thinking they would put .8 metere in the ground . NO they put about .2 metre in the ground and the wire half way down the pole. They would not rectify so i pulled all the posts up and reset them myself . Took me 2 weeks but a good job . I am 61 yrs old .
I had an old motorbike which i loved but had to go and was going to sell it for about 10,00 baht , easy lots of offers but my wife persuaded me to give it to her brother .She took him to the government office , got the name changed to his , paid the insurance and tax . For about 6 weeks he was so proud with his new bike , kept it clean and shiny . Then he came to my house on a bicycle and i foud out he put the bike in the garage for 12,000 baht so he could play cards over songran.
I am so angry over this as i could have sold it myself and had the money.

There are 2 houses on my land , my wifes old house and mine about 10 metres apart . He comes there every day mostly stealing food but sometyimes playing cards. Everytime i see him i want to hit him for what he has done but my wife is on his side and threatens me with the police if i hit him. When he comes i have to leave the house and go somehwere . Her mai pen rai . She says i gave him the bike so up to him what he does with it but now he borrows other peoples bikes to get around .
Basically am i wrong being upset he sold the bike i was selling, did a bad job on my fence and steals food everyday ?

[manxninja]

Firstly why are you with your wife she obviously does not respect you.

Secondly stop worrying about it, these things happen getting stressed wont help.

And lastly lesson learnt, don't pay thais upfront for building work and always supervise them.

Good luck and chill, its just the Thai way.

[manfredtillmann]

he is family, what do you expect? your wife will always prefer him over you when it comes to conflict. this is not a thai thing, it happens in every culture - everywhere.

next time, when your wife is unwell, invite your bil to an excursion somewhere nice and...

[robblok]

he is family, what do you expect? your wife will always prefer him over you when it comes to conflict. this is not a thai thing, it happens in every culture - everywhere.

next time, when your wife is unwell, invite your bil to an excursion somewhere nice and...

What a stupid thing to say, my ex never ever took her families side with stupid stuff like this. If a wife prefers a bad brother like that over her husband then its clear how she thinks about her husband.

Your acting like all Thais are the same... I am sure where ever you come from the guys over there are all carbon copiers of you acting the same and so on... must be..

[dazzz]

Firstly why are you with your wife she obviously does not respect you.

Secondly stop worrying about it, these things happen getting stressed wont help.

And lastly lesson learnt, don't pay thais upfront for building work and always supervise them.

Good luck and chill, its just the Thai way.

Yes you are pretty much right but not completely. My wife obviously loves her family more than me . I am not worried i am an ex soldier for a long time and am not stressed at all . A few tours of Ni cures you of that but i just do not want this guy in my house every day, all day. I never pay up front usually but as this was her brother i thought it would be ok .; All i ask ,y wife is this guy does not come to my house or eventually i will hit him as i hate the sight of him.

[balo]

Lesson learned , never pay in advance for any jobs here if you can avoid it. And if you give someone an expensive gift , forget about it, its not yours anymore.

[dazzz]

Yes but the point is how does this guy do what he does and come to my house everyday without shame or embarrassment ? He comes to my house on a borrowed bicycle and not the excellent bike i gave him . I changed the oil every 1000kms and the bike started easy and is faster than both my new bikes (all were honda 125cc ). Anyway if he keeps coming and i have a few beers i will end up hitting him or i will have to leave my home . I cannot look at him every day . Yesterday i saw him at 5am in my wifes old house . He stole her fish she caught with a net to give to his girlfriend but when i get angry its mai pen rai .

[Aussieroaming]

Hence why i would never deal with family..farang or thai in a business sense.

[Buffaloooooo]

Just tell him not to come to your house again

[dazzz]

Hence why i would never deal with family..farang or thai in a business sense.

The actual job was so small and easy . 3000 \baht a few beers and some white whisky . The hard bit for me was getting the wire off and lifting the posts back out . The ground was very soft black earth from the lake so easy to dig , but not for her brother . He knew they all fell down but still came to my house without a blush or

care . But this motorbike thing left a bad taste in my mouth as i could have had 10,000 baht myself but gave it to him on my wifes advice then he lost the money playing cards .;

Still looking for the same advice , should i not be upset with and stop him first comign to my house every day secondly stealing food ?

[mcfish]

"my wife is on his side and threatens me with the police if i hit him"

Dude cut your losses and run as fast as you can. Although its wrong to hit, her loyalty will never be with you

Edited June 4, 2016 by mcfish

[manfredtillmann]

he is family, what do you expect? your wife will always prefer him over you when it comes to conflict. this is not a thai thing, it happens in every culture - everywhere.

next time, when your wife is unwell, invite your bil to an excursion somewhere nice and...

What a stupid thing to say, my ex never ever took her families side with stupid stuff like this. If a wife prefers a bad brother like that over her husband then its clear how she thinks about her husband.

Your acting like all Thais are the same... I am sure where ever you come from the guys over there are all carbon copiers of you acting the same and so on... must be..

'what a stupid thing to say'?

you might not understand what i am saying but to judge it 'stupid' only really shows.... how stupid uneducated you are.

[dazzz]

Just tell him not to come to your house again

Sorry just read this , i have told him lots of times and threatened to chock him but he ignores me and still comes

[stoneyboy]

Thai apologists abound as usual.

Very normal behaviour from family of usually rural poor uneducated Thai people I'm afraid.

Word of advice tell your missus it's him or you,I trust you pay all the bills and take care of everything,knock her money down,keep her on the straight and narrow tighten up the purse strings and the rules a bit.

Your not alone by the way there are thousands of expats up country being royally shafted I'm afraid and it's usually the same old sob stories and family woes.

You go out of your way to try and help and they just take the rise.

Give them an inch mate and they take the mile.

Edited June 4, 2016 by stoneyboy

[Lamkyong]

why are thais never ashamed ?? because they are never wrong

[AlexRRR]

Ahhhh Thai's yep understanding it well...but i would never have let the wife talk me into giving the bike to the bum in the beginning, thats where your wrong, as for the fence...just plain bad luck, as for stealing food etc take all the light globes out and place a few big traps around on the floor....pretty sure that will fix it...

And be a man you can put some pressure on the wife to limit the bum coming over.

[robblok]

he is family, what do you expect? your wife will always prefer him over you when it comes to conflict. this is not a thai thing, it happens in every culture - everywhere.

next time, when your wife is unwell, invite your bil to an excursion somewhere nice and...

What a stupid thing to say, my ex never ever took her families side with stupid stuff like this. If a wife prefers a bad brother like that over her husband then its clear how she thinks about her husband.

Your acting like all Thais are the same... I am sure where ever you come from the guys over there are all carbon copiers of you acting the same and so on... must be..

'what a stupid thing to say'?

you might not understand what i am saying but to judge it 'stupid' only really shows.... how stupid uneducated you are.

My mistake.. re read what you said.. thought you made it out to be just Thai.. So I was wrong. Thought it was again a general Thai bashing thing.

[manfredtillmann]

he is family, what do you expect? your wife will always prefer him over you when it comes to conflict. this is not a thai thing, it happens in every culture - everywhere.

next time, when your wife is unwell, invite your bil to an excursion somewhere nice and...

What a stupid thing to say, my ex never ever took her families side with stupid stuff like this. If a wife prefers a bad brother like that over her husband then its clear how she thinks about her husband.

Your acting like all Thais are the same... I am sure where ever you come from the guys over there are all carbon copiers of you acting the same and so on... must be..

'what a stupid thing to say'?

you might not understand what i am saying but to judge it 'stupid' only really shows.... how stupid uneducated you are.

My mistake.. re read what you said.. thought you made it out to be just Thai.. So I was wrong. Thought it was again a general Thai bashing thing.

cool.

[lostinisaan]

Everytime i see him i want to hit him for what he has done but my wife is on his side and threatens me with the police if i hit him

Mate/ dude, your post made it happen that i had tears in my eyes thinking about an old friend your age who had to go too early.

If you want to have my honest advice, please make it clear who the boss is. But it seems that you've already lost the war. She's the boss and that will never change.

You wrote that you've got a house? It's on her land, so when you go for it, you might not even be allowed to enter your house.

Your're only a few years older than I am, but I couldn't live under such circumstances.

I used to live in the village, my wife's brothers are my family and the whole village and relatives deeply respect me for what and who I am.

I'd love to help you, please page me if there's anything you don't want to openly discuss.

You've got to let your wife know that you're not a damn sick dog and i guess that you didn't marry her brother.

Best of luck. P.S. I'm living here for 15 years, speak the local slang and a sort of understand what's going on here.

Edited to add: Where are you living? Have you got Skype to discuss your problems online, without doing that on an open forum where some guys get a kick out of people like you and write some nasty stuff.

I'll send you my e-mail and Skype username in a private message. it's never too late. Think positive.

Edited June 4, 2016 by lostinisaan

[NanLaew]

Yet another wife's "brother" story.

[slipperylobster]

Some are not as lucky as you.....the brother often turns out be "someone else"

Here, at least, you know for sure what and who the brother is.

[lostinisaan]

Firstly why are you with your wife she obviously does not respect you.

Secondly stop worrying about it, these things happen getting stressed wont help.

And lastly lesson learnt, don't pay thais upfront for building work and always supervise them.

Good luck and chill, its just the Thai way.

It's not just the Thai way. I'm married to a wonderful woman from Isaan and i see her family as mine. We help each other and I've never experienced something similar.

In addition do I know a few foreigners in similar situations. They're not the walking ATM nobody respects.

"It's just the Thai way", is just another Thai bashing way. Is it the American way that too many people are too fat?

Is it the German way that a lot of people like to eat Bratwurst? There're people and people. Some good and some bad ones.

Please don't make a whole country and its citizens to dishonest thieves.

[wprime]

I'd leave her if I were you. Don't even divorce, just abandon her.

[Gumballl]

Hence why i would never deal with family..farang or thai in a business sense.

The actual job was so small and easy . 3000 \baht a few beers and some white whisky . The hard bit for me was getting the wire off and lifting the posts back out . The ground was very soft black earth from the lake so easy to dig , but not for her brother . He knew they all fell down but still came to my house without a blush or

care . But this motorbike thing left a bad taste in my mouth as i could have had 10,000 baht myself but gave it to him on my wifes advice then he lost the money playing cards .;

Still looking for the same advice , should i not be upset with and stop him first comign to my house every day secondly stealing food ?

You seem very upset over losing 10,000 baht. If tomorrow you lose 10,001 baht, are you going to go on a murderous rampage through the village?

Seriously, the quantity of money you are referring to is an insignificant amount. Move on with your life. Stopping living it as if it were you are a drama queen.

[lostinisaan]

Hence why i would never deal with family..farang or thai in a business sense.

The actual job was so small and easy . 3000 \baht a few beers and some white whisky . The hard bit for me was getting the wire off and lifting the posts back out . The ground was very soft black earth from the lake so easy to dig , but not for her brother . He knew they all fell down but still came to my house without a blush or

care . But this motorbike thing left a bad taste in my mouth as i could have had 10,000 baht myself but gave it to him on my wifes advice then he lost the money playing cards .;

Still looking for the same advice , should i not be upset with and stop him first comign to my house every day secondly stealing food ?

One of my wife's cousin is one of them you've described. He took his grandma to the town to make some fingerprints that he could sell land, he sold her rice and did plenty other weird shit".

Everybody in the village hated him, including all the neighbors. Then a Morlam dance event where somebody paid him some beers and Lao Khao. I also drank a few beers watchin the nice looking girls dancing and couldn't believe my own eyes when i saw him sitting next to me asking for mobney to buy more beer.

He knew how much i hated him and that was the time when i wanted to go for it. I waited until he stood up, followed him and when he wanted to go right, I grabbed him at his shoulders and told him that we'd make a short trip to the Tungna ( rice fields).

I told him in his language that we'll see who's coming back first, the guy's 25 year younger than i am and almost my height.

But no way, he slipped through my arms and went back home. I had a chat with a friend and arrived at my grandma's house 15 minutes later.

The freak sat there and had an old gun, you know one of these very old front loaders pointed at me with a crazy smile in his face.

I didn't think a second if the thingy was ,loaded or not, went to him, grabbed the gun, pressed it against his throat and asked him if he'd be ready to die.

I slabbed him a couple of times in his face, speaking very loud what he did to his relatives and people who basically paid for his useless life.

I didn't realize that i was surrounded by almost the whole village, nobody told me to stop, nobody told me anything.

I finally let him go and told him tgo never ever show up at my mom and dad in laws place. Since that day, he wais me when he sees me, no more stupid questions if I buy him a beer and knows exactly where he is and most important where I am.

That was about seven years ago and things haven't changed. Nor did he steal any more money from his relatives.

My wife later told me that I was a little bit too brutal, but what would you do when somebody's pointing a gun on you, was enough for her to agree with me.

OP, what you don't have is respect from the guys in the village. Show your wife's brother in many ways how welcome he is.

Put something in a beer that he's got the <deleted>" for two weeks. One day he'll realise that he's not wanted.

if your wife isn't on your side then leave her, or at least tell her that you would. Then see her reaction. If you're leaving and no more money comes in she might change her mind regarding her weird brother.

Best of luck !!!

[benalibina]

Firstly why are you with your wife she obviously does not respect you.

Secondly stop worrying about it, these things happen getting stressed wont help.

And lastly lesson learnt, don't pay thais upfront for building work and always supervise them.

Good luck and chill, its just the Thai way.

It's not just the Thai way. I'm married to a wonderful woman from Isaan and i see her family as mine. We help each other and I've never experienced something similar.

In addition do I know a few foreigners in similar situations. They're not the walking ATM nobody respects.

"It's just the Thai way", is just another Thai bashing way. Is it the American way that too many people are too fat?

Is it the German way that a lot of people like to eat Bratwurst? There're people and people. Some good and some bad ones.

Please don't make a whole country and its citizens to dishonest thieves.

Please don't make a whole country and its citizens not to be dishonest thieves.

[jeab1980]

Well as a thai wife married to a UK man I can tell you get away from your wife no point staying

1. She will call police on you! !!!!

2. She always sides with family.

no never she not interested in you at all.

I side with however I think is correct in our family but if they were (which has never happened and I don't ever expect it to) to gang up on my husband no contest husband win every time. When we get work done as now having bigger shop built family involved. We agree a price labour only. We buy all material, I personally check all work done daily and so does Husband if not happy we tell them to re do it no problem. Not pay upfront give them a bit every week if they ask.

My felling would be get away now before something bad happens.

[thai3]

All a bit of a storm in a tea cup, get a nasty dog and train it to go for him

[Buffaloooooo]

If I were you, I would drop all the violent thoughts .

It will not resolve the issue and it will just cause more problems

[CharlieH]

Off topic posts and responses removed.