Family Retards and Ya Ba!

[MyFriend You]

Let the Somchai take responsibilty

I totally agree, but the family do not see it that way, the poor old grandmother who must be about 83 feels she has to intervene. Every time these idiots screw up, she ends up having to sell or pawn her land that she and her husband worked all their life to get! These people need to take responsibility for their actions.

The only good side of this is that the old lady has only one Chanote left, it is valued as a guarantee at 200K, not enough to pay the 500K the cops want, so with any luck, the idiot will be stuck in jail.

I was really interested if he will get death or life in prison, as it seems pretty serious as a 4th offence. Sad really, I knew him since he was a baby and he was a talented artist, now he seems to be past help.

If you really want to help 'grandma' offer to buy her land and allow her to live on it the rest of their lives - then no one can pressure her for it. The kid(??) may not be a lost cause, let him sit i nThai Jail for a few years, and if he turns his life around after that, good for him. I actually did the same thing to my 'least favorite ex-wife's son - he spent 3 1/2 years in a US prison, came out with a college degree under his belt, and is now a successful Real Estate agent who vollunteers to help wayward kids - in his favor, he was selling, not using Heroin. No amount of pressure from his mother, aunts, uncles, would persuade me to make his bail, best thing that ever happened to him.

[Sean87s]

Whats the point of paying bail when hes gonna end up in jail anyway on judgement day ?

[Shiver]

I only have experience of one case, so hardly a statistic, but it went something like this:

1st offence, personal use, bailed out with money (around 100K + legal fees). Spend 43 days inside until the case was resolved (it kind of goes from 'written in pencil' to 'written in pen' if it passes the half way point before trial and no way out of it then (these were pre-Prayut days btw).

2nd offence, personal use, I refused to bail the person out this time. The elders of the family put together their chinotes to come up with a larger figure (I don't know that figure but I'll guess @200K) - that failed and the person did 2 years 4 months pleading guilty for carrying (nothing in the system - though no doubt it would have been if left 1/2 hour longer).

On reflection I believe I did nobody any justice in intervening, as it wasn't enough time to get the message or get the counselling they get inside after conviction. If I hadn't been the do-gooder it might well have been a single offence, do the time, never repeat.

There was a very large family distributed across the country, but only grandma/grandpa and brother as immediate family, and out of all of them it was only the grandparents that gave up pretty much the only collateral they had other than the wooden house they stay in. It broke their hearts, and they are the sweetest (and apparently the only ones with any nouse or concern). It failed 2nd time though. This stuff does take precedence over a persons rationale, even close family can't get through.

My guess for a 4th offence and 500K is something like 5 - 7 years if pleading guilty. I know it will sound callous, but I think it is the best outcome at this stage. It means the grandmother may only ever see him for a few minutes once or twice a month, and never outside again due to her age. Getting someone off the hook doesn't hammer home the message. If he's very lucky and the jails being so full, there may be a Royal pardon (if that is the correct term) - I'm told the King does it one year, and his lady does the next. As I understand it, the person must have served at least 50% of the time already, and must be a non violent offence (or maybe 'personal harm not harm to others' might be a better way to put it).

Upon getting released, huge apologies, lots of time at the temple, runs around taking care of their family's every need, and feels enormous guilt that what they did had ramifications to so many other people. One year and so far so good. Btw, a big part of this is to stay away from the social circle that entrapped them in the first place.

I still think counselling rather than punishment could do a better job for some people, but for others there is just no option but to bang them up and be forced to reflect. In the case I'm describing they really are a different personality now (for the better) than before any of this ever started. First time I fought for them and won (or so I thought), but these things don't get a clean break, and the police will be sniffing around for a second helping, ...and they usually get it too, because people in this predicament swear they can control it and believe they are too smart to get their collar felt. It's close to polar opposite of that.

On the bright side (but only a little), I'm told that whilst serving time they have a routine for passing the whole day, and don't have as much time as you might think to just be cooked up and not being tasked with chores, and it seems to pass a little quicker. But then you can't buy time. You can do time though.

Edited June 30, 2016 by Shiver

[Stevemercer]

He will get 3 - 5 years if he pleads guilty, and will be out in 18 months.

My wife's younger brother got caught trafficking commercial quantities of ya ba some time ago. He pleaded innocent and got 20 years. His buddies pleaded guilty and got 10 years, but were out in 5 years. He has been in jail for nearly 7 years and this week had his final appeal/sentencing. The judge decided to add on another 14 years (he was caught with a mobile phone in prison) and he now has 34 years in total.

[mesterm]

i like your honesty, however if you like the old lady a lot why dont you grow some balls and tell your wife to tell the rest of her family what you think and what you are telling us here. man up and stop wingeing here for support.

Pretty bad advice asking a farang to tell Thais what they really think.

[Shiver]

He will get 3 - 5 years if he pleads guilty, and will be out in 18 months.

My wife's younger brother got caught trafficking commercial quantities of ya ba some time ago. He pleaded innocent and got 20 years. His buddies pleaded guilty and got 10 years, but were out in 5 years. He has been in jail for nearly 7 years and this week had his final appeal/sentencing. The judge decided to add on another 14 years (he was caught with a mobile phone in prison) and he now has 34 years in total.

Wow that's a tough sentence. I'm guessing the mobile might be related to continuing prior activities, or at least as a money maker selling by the minute (like selling cigarettes and other currencies).

Btw, to OP, it does help to send a *very* modest amount of money to them each month if you feel so inclined. The food isn't quite 5 star. The only things you're supposed to take in to visit is what you buy from their shop, which isn't extortionate, but not exactly subsidised either. The inmates who are assigned cooking duties can wield a lot of influence to get something different to eat (If you've seen "Orange is the new black" well, it's nothing like that, but mentioned it because of the social networking and learning to be gregarious gets you a long way. Often making life long friends.

[Kangaroo29]

500K ? ...you being played player.

[Deepinthailand]

So as you put it his "grandma looks after him" (nothing new there) "his mother is a wore in BKK" lovley terminology and "nor will my stupid wife be using children's chanotes to guarantee his release.

So sister in law a whore wife is Stupid but you love your MIL!!!.

Something not right there.

Edited June 30, 2016 by Deepinthailand

[GAZZPA]

Horrible scenario, I really feel for you.

It is easy for outsiders and strangers to give you "firm" advice but not so easy when you are living it. The problem is that this is his 4th time as you say, so what is he going to do to change himself when all he has to do is ask and someone else in the family coughs up the 500k to get him released (which by the way is a disgrace in itself).

If he was reforming, crying for help to get himself on the straight and narrow and remorseful for what he has done I personally might reconsider but with what you have said, 4 times is enough. You priority is your wife and kids (not trying to educate you of course) and sooner or later you draw the line and it looks like this is when you do it.

Good luck, I hope your wife and family understand, I agree with a previous poster, take care of the Grandmother and let her know you support her and its not her fault despite what the actual mothers say,, they are just blaming her for their own failings and putting an elderly woman in charge of problem kids at her age is a disgrace.

[GAZZPA]

i like your honesty, however if you like the old lady a lot why dont you grow some balls and tell your wife to tell the rest of her family what you think and what you are telling us here. man up and stop wingeing here for support.

Pretty bad advice asking a farang to tell Thais what they really think.

He's not, he is telling him to tell the Thais what HE thinks.

[neverdie]

He will get 3 - 5 years if he pleads guilty, and will be out in 18 months.

My wife's younger brother got caught trafficking commercial quantities of ya ba some time ago. He pleaded innocent and got 20 years. His buddies pleaded guilty and got 10 years, but were out in 5 years. He has been in jail for nearly 7 years and this week had his final appeal/sentencing. The judge decided to add on another 14 years (he was caught with a mobile phone in prison) and he now has 34 years in total.

Ouch.

[uthaithanirules]

He will get 3 - 5 years if he pleads guilty, and will be out in 18 months.

My wife's younger brother got caught trafficking commercial quantities of ya ba some time ago. He pleaded innocent and got 20 years. His buddies pleaded guilty and got 10 years, but were out in 5 years. He has been in jail for nearly 7 years and this week had his final appeal/sentencing. The judge decided to add on another 14 years (he was caught with a mobile phone in prison) and he now has 34 years in total.

Mmmmm Hmmmm, what that really means is we will keep tacking on things until admit you were guilty.

Bet if he did, or as soon as he does, he'd be out quick smart

[mesterm]

i like your honesty, however if you like the old lady a lot why dont you grow some balls and tell your wife to tell the rest of her family what you think and what you are telling us here. man up and stop wingeing here for support.

Pretty bad advice asking a farang to tell Thais what they really think.

He's not, he is telling him to tell the Thais what HE thinks.

Yes, I was wondering if my words would be misconstrued. That was what I meant.

[twizzian]

His mother was a whore!

That is a very negative statement. You really should not include that content in your post.

Aren't we all whores to some degree?

What some respectable people do in big business would make a whore look like an angel!

And all people are given gifts/cash for a helping hand, a favor, and more. Are they whores too?

Marriage is prostitution! If no money is provided the wife or man leaves for more security-cash!

Rubbish!

[ukrules]

Bail or not he's going to prison, he might as well start his sentence now rather than delay the inevitible.

Also as he will be in prison he won't be a problem, not for you anyway.

[eastendanto]

Seems to me you are stuck between a rock and an emotional hard place......whilst addiction of any sort (never mind the dealing) will always cause hardship to immediate and related family you have to draw a line in the sand and stick to it. If it were one of your cousins who you knew slightly or one of your Aunt's kids who you hadn't seen in years and they were in a similar position ask yourself this...would you reach into your pocket for them at the likely cost to your own immediate family? Charity begins at home and you take care of your immediate and own first before even contemplating getting dragged into the daily soap opera that is Thai family life, that takes a strange turn to the even more surreal when a Farang turns up to be a relation (almost entirely based on pound/dollar/euro signs flashing up before their very eyes)... Their must be a scriptwriter out there who could turn this into a Thaienders, or Soi Street (those from UK will understand the connection) I'm sure it would be a best seller and compulsive viewing !!!

Whilst the addiction is sad (whether it be drink, drugs, gambling etc....), Thailand does not hold the unique rights to it....it is no different to anywhere else in the world.... I've personally seen some of my friends mates here in the UK completely strip bare their parents houses whilst they were on holiday in order to sell their possessions to attend to their craving, friends brothers steal from their own brothers homes to feed their habit etc.....so rather then get caught up in the soap opera and playing a starring part, step outside the

circle and view from afar..... it will give you a different perspective....

Stick by your guns.....the locals will try to grind you down with their constant sniping and telling the Grandma what a horrible person you are for not caring etc..., the Thais for some reason seem to thrive on other people's misfortune and rubbing it in to affected parties.....I guess it's the only pleasure they get in life as they consider their own lives so miserable....

Good luck and stay strong

[NickJ]

Change the numbers on your mailbox...might work......

[Generalchaos]

Well, the first round is over, the idiot Nephew has recieved 5 years as far as I can understand. However, it isn't over yet and there is another court appearance tomorrow.

What seems to have occured is a sentence for the original charge of supply with intent to sell - 5 years. Then it gets complicated, it seems like the police offered a lower sentence if he grassed all of his mates up. It looks like he didn't take the offer, so now it seems the police can now go and push for a longer sentence tomorrow.

I'll keep you posted, it doesn't look good for people dealing drugs, but to be honest, I have no sympathy, my only sympathy is with the grandmother that has to go through the blame and shame, for which she really is not at fault.

Spoilled Thai bastard kids, given everything without having to work, expecting everything on a plate.

[Generalchaos]

Since he's pretty much inevitably going to do more jail time, what's the point of bailing him out? Won't the time behind bars on remand be counted towards his eventual sentence as it is in other countries?

No one is bailing him out, it appears that the fools thought that they could maybe pay off the cops, which may have been true, but to be honest what is the point? The idiot has done it 4 times already, when do you just wake up and face the music? Throwing money down the drain for these people just ruins a lot of other lives, and why the hell should they bail out a 4 time reoffender?

I know it is harsh, but as far as I am concerned he can rot.

He destroyed his grandmothers reputation and way of life a few years back when he was bringing young girls back into his room in the grandmothers house and shagging and drinking smoking and doing drugs. ( The grandma is an EXTREME anti Alcohol lady, she has very high morals and is religious to the extreme, but never a hypocrite)

She had police banging on the door at 5 in the morning looking for the idiot, you can imagine what the gossip in the local village was like. She has always been an honest woman, we didn't always see eye to eye, but out of the hundreds of people I have met here over the years, she is probably the most honest and straightforward.

Edited June 30, 2016 by Generalchaos

[Generalchaos]

Get the mother to pay she is probably earring more than your income .

Ha Ha! If only!

She earns not one Baht! She must have spent 20 years free lancing in Bangkok, never found a decent "husband " - She only ended up with Farang drug addicts and alcoholics, complete losers, she even brought some of them to her mothers house and boy these were the dregs.

So, she has no money, she sits at her mothers house day in day out and does SFA!

They all went and spent a fortune to learn "Thai Massage" and their certificates, but really didn't want to actually get off their lazy asses and do the job!

[Generalchaos]

If you truly love the grandmother why are you letting her sell the land to others. Personally I would have made sure as much as possible that my wife quietly bought the land. That way at least it stays in the family and I am sure grandma would have really appreciated it.

Personally I think the best thing for the nephew would have been the yaba temple (sorry forgot it;'s real name)

If you understand anything in this place, and you actually read my earlier posts, the last thing on this earth would be to pour more money into these whirling dervishes that suck money like a vortex! It helps no one, it simply vanishes like a black hole.

I will never put 1 Baht into their schemes, they cannot be trusted, and if I want to be totally honest, it really does not matter how long you are married, how long you have been together, how many kids you have, when the shit hits the fan, their family will ALWAYS come first. Even if they didn't agree with what the family were doing, in most cases they would still side with them for the fear of loss of face!

[Generalchaos]

Why are you still there?

You must really love the Mrs!

Married before, made a mistake. Now getting on in life, with a son, you make your bed you have to lie in it! My responsibilities are with my son, it would be easy to walk away....what would he do?( Besides, on a scale of things the missis is a bit of an idiot at times but her heart is in the right place)

Besides, I look at it as an education, for me and them. If you leave them to carry on their normal Thai way of no responsibility, how will the kids turn out? If I can change things a little bit that helps my son then I will certainly be sticking around.

At least at his age now, it isn't like throwing him to the sharks like it would have been 5 years ago - At least he has his own mind an his own opinion - He no longer thinks in a standard Thai way, which to me is worth it!

Edited June 30, 2016 by Generalchaos

[ozyjon]

These losers spend their time as merchants of death,

selling product which has high demand, no tax, huge

profits, and yet always broke, turn your back, jack.

[hawker9000]

It's informative and an experience worth sharing. Not sure I'd call it whining. "Farangs" contemplating long-term relationships would probably do well to read & consider...

[Rhys]

yikes... time to get out of dodge....don't you miss a sense of peace and calmness in your life... This seems just to be an endless suck hole of frustration....remember now, you cannot cure stupidity..

Oh..find someone you can respect... this might help.

[12DrinkMore]

Get the mother to pay she is probably earring more than your income .

Ha Ha! If only!

She earns not one Baht! She must have spent 20 years free lancing in Bangkok, never found a decent "husband " - She only ended up with Farang drug addicts and alcoholics, complete losers, she even brought some of them to her mothers house and boy these were the dregs.

So, she has no money, she sits at her mothers house day in day out and does SFA!

They all went and spent a fortune to learn "Thai Massage" and their certificates, but really didn't want to actually get off their lazy asses and do the job!

If you funded a fortune for Thai massage lessons or they say they spent a fortune, then you have been conned.

[kingstonkid]

If you truly love the grandmother why are you letting her sell the land to others. Personally I would have made sure as much as possible that my wife quietly bought the land. That way at least it stays in the family and I am sure grandma would have really appreciated it.

Personally I think the best thing for the nephew would have been the yaba temple (sorry forgot it;'s real name)

If you understand anything in this place, and you actually read my earlier posts, the last thing on this earth would be to pour more money into these whirling dervishes that suck money like a vortex! It helps no one, it simply vanishes like a black hole.

I will never put 1 Baht into their schemes, they cannot be trusted, and if I want to be totally honest, it really does not matter how long you are married, how long you have been together, how many kids you have, when the shit hits the fan, their family will ALWAYS come first. Even if they didn't agree with what the family were doing, in most cases they would still side with them for the fear of loss of face!

All I hear is you complaining andas others have said name calling.

My point wsa that if you felt sorry for theGrandmother you could have helped her and your wife out but allyou seem to want to do is B!tch and moan.

[connda]

Crime doesn't pay, and neither should you.

[anotheruser]

Whats the point of paying bail when hes gonna end up in jail anyway on judgement day ?

Normally the point of bail in Thailand seems to be that if you have the money you buy yourself some time. Later on if you have any money things just seem to go away. Making bail qualifies your financial position to buy your way out at a future time. Anybody that can't make bail is presumably a loser and rots. It looks better to show up to court all lawyered up in a suit than it does in a prison uniform and chains.

The other point is so that if you are out on bail facing a lengthy custodial sentence you can run away, causing whoever put up the collateral on your behalf to forfeit it. Either way it is a win for the state financially.

Maybe the Red Bull heir could explain the advantages of making bail?

Also FWIW if there are people involved in your immediate family this could eventually come back to haunt you. Those sort of people bring everybody around them down eventually. They would not hesitate to hide a stash in your house without your knowledge or just a host full of things you don't need in your life. i would tell my wife I won't no more of this worthless family and make an ultimatum.

Edited July 1, 2016 by anotheruser

[Generalchaos]

If you truly love the grandmother why are you letting her sell the land to others. Personally I would have made sure as much as possible that my wife quietly bought the land. That way at least it stays in the family and I am sure grandma would have really appreciated it.

Personally I think the best thing for the nephew would have been the yaba temple (sorry forgot it;'s real name)

If you understand anything in this place, and you actually read my earlier posts, the last thing on this earth would be to pour more money into these whirling dervishes that suck money like a vortex! It helps no one, it simply vanishes like a black hole.

I will never put 1 Baht into their schemes, they cannot be trusted, and if I want to be totally honest, it really does not matter how long you are married, how long you have been together, how many kids you have, when the shit hits the fan, their family will ALWAYS come first. Even if they didn't agree with what the family were doing, in most cases they would still side with them for the fear of loss of face!

All I hear is you complaining andas others have said name calling.

My point wsa that if you felt sorry for theGrandmother you could have helped her and your wife out but allyou seem to want to do is B!tch and moan.

How do you suggest I help? The idiot has been "Helped" 4 tomes, how do you think anyone can help him anymore? Some people deserve another chance and frankly, some people don't!