Divorcing in Thailand before thai wife issues proceedings in the UK

[Ballantyne]

i am an English guy who got married to a Thai lady in Thailand. We have 2 beautiful children. My wife now has ILR. She is just about to issue a petition for divorce in the uk? What I need to know is if i return to Thailand quickly before it is issued and apply over there and do it through the legal system rather than the amphur. Would it be more in my favour re Finances, and childrens access. Would any financial settlement be recognised in the UK? Please help.   

[swissie]

If Thai Wife lives in the UK, she must have learned in the mean time that a divorce in the UK is more favorable to her than in Thailand.

You can file for divorce in Thailand, but if she does not cooperate, what you are going to do?

- If you can claim and prove  "abandonment" by wife (not seen her for two years, not knowing her address, etc), a Thai Court will grant you an uncomplicated divorce, with no need for the wife to be present. The cost will be 40 Bht.  I am afraid that this does not apply to your situation. Good luck to you. Cheers.

[Ballantyne]

Thanks for your response Swissie. I think that you are right in regards to her understanding that the uk will be far more favourable. That is why i was hoping and praying that there might be a more favourable outcome in Thailand if i could convince her to do this or to go alone. As you quite rightly stated in point 2 unfortunately the abandonment approach isn't going to apply. I am dreading losing half of everything that I have worked all my life for. I wanted to pass on a legacy to my children, and am terrified that she will either squander all of the money or that she will meet another man who may take advantage of her new financial wealth.

   

[soalbundy]

If you start proceedings in a Thai court she cant start proceedings in the UK you would have to get in first so to speak. I don't know what ILR is,if she has already started proceedings it is too late. It is somewhat easier for a man to start proceedings in Thailand than for a woman but there has to be a certain reason that is recognized by the court, you can find these reasons on the net. Before a divorce though there has to be a sort of agreement discussion between the two parties in front of court civil servants chiefly i believe in order to avoid a divorce as such,only when the discussion breaks down can the officials refer the matter to the court so it isn't as easy as you might think.

[niffy61]

I suggest before you throw the towel in i assume uk is simliar to australian family.

 

If you want to win then you need to play hard. If your wife is an ex bar girl then this will not play well in a court room tell her this.

If you have been married under ten years then the split is not always 50 50.

 

Also if you are worried about her wasting your assets the court will and does grant orders to restrict the sale or transfer of assets and place them in trust for your children.

 

Speak to a good lawyer.

[KNJ]

UK courts need to be fair, seek custody of the kids and that will be taken care of in the settlement.

If she has already started proceedings  in the Uk, then talk to a solicitor and seek to revoke the ILR under appeal.

If not best bet is start in Thailand, whilst you are obviously together, if you claimed otherwise they have no way to prove, and you cannot be divorced twice so start NOW

What passport do the kids have?

Sorry to ask but are they yours or inherited by marriage? This will make a difference

Act now so she has minimal access to your wealth, cancel all the cards, etc

Does she have her name on any assets?

[Old Croc]

Instead of seeking life changing advice from the experts on Thaivisa, why not get good information from, firstly, a UK divorce lawyer asking specifically about jurisdiction if proceedings have started elsewhere, and, secondly, a lawyer in Thailand so you are aware of Thai laws on the matter.  

[NoshowJones]

What is ILR? Can't you take the time to type the words?

[soalbundy]

15 minutes ago, Old Croc said:

Instead of seeking life changing advice from the experts on Thaivisa, why not get good information from, firstly, a UK divorce lawyer asking specifically about jurisdiction if proceedings have started elsewhere, and, secondly, a lawyer in Thailand so you are aware of Thai laws on the matter.  

I have been through some of this although it didn't end in divorce. The Thai lawyers i spoke to didn't have a clue about international problems of this sort,there are experts out there but they are very expensive. A UK divorce lawyer will only be interested in getting the divorce done in the UK which is where i think it will end up. Bite the bullet

[catman20]

another victim did not keep life simple

[louse1953]

16 hours ago, Ballantyne said:

Thanks for your response Swissie. I think that you are right in regards to her understanding that the uk will be far more favourable. That is why i was hoping and praying that there might be a more favourable outcome in Thailand if i could convince her to do this or to go alone. As you quite rightly stated in point 2 unfortunately the abandonment approach isn't going to apply. I am dreading losing half of everything that I have worked all my life for. I wanted to pass on a legacy to my children, and am terrified that she will either squander all of the money or that she will meet another man who may take advantage of her new financial wealth.

   

So you are trying to screw your wife over.What she does with half the money she supported you in earning is no concern of yours.I can see why your wife is leaving you.

[soalbundy]

Just now, catman20 said:

another victim did not keep life simple

Laughing at other peoples misfortunes is not helpful or clever, this may come back to bite you in one way or another

[catman20]

1 minute ago, soalbundy said:

Laughing at other peoples misfortunes is not helpful or clever, this may come back to bite you in one way or another

sounds like your a married man......................did i hit a nerve ?

[catman20]

4 minutes ago, louse1953 said:

So you are trying to screw your wife over.What she does with half the money she supported you in earning is no concern of yours.I can see why your wife is leaving you.

 I am dreading losing half of everything that I have worked all my life for. I wanted to pass on a legacy to my children, and am terrified that she will either squander all of the money or that she will meet another man who may take advantage of her new financial wealth.

 

you should of thought about that before you decided to get married. i was married one time in the uk when i was young dum and full of cum. i would never marry again its a con you cant win.

[Old Croc]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/personalfinance/expat-money/8356609/The-difficulties-of-divorcing-overseas.html

[mydee]

8 minutes ago, soalbundy said:

Laughing at other peoples misfortunes is not helpful or clever, this may come back to bite you in one way or another

One can but hope

[soalbundy]

1 minute ago, catman20 said:

sounds like your a married man......................did i hit a nerve ?

Yes i am married but live with another woman since 10 years who is the mother of my son, i managed to avoid a divorce which would have adversely affected my pension but still support my wife with whom i now have amiable relations. You didn't hit a nerve but i know how much pain and worry this man is going through,you obviously don't or don't care so you probably aren't marriage material anyway

[lungnorm]

Why Why Why do you guys marry these wenches in the first place. Just pay for their services and stay free. Its not rocket science. You see the same old same old an this forum all the time. Wake up gents and live your life like a FREE MAN. Cheaper to pay by the nite than to marry the gold digging bitches. This my friends is SOUND ADVICE.

[Old Croc]

9 minutes ago, louse1953 said:

So you are trying to screw your wife over.What she does with half the money she supported you in earning is no concern of yours.I can see why your wife is leaving you.

That's a fair enough comment if the western divorce courts only ruled on wealth gained during the length of the marriage. All too often it's half of everything you've spent a lifetime accumulating.

One of the reasons many men end up in Thailand is because of real or perceived unfair rulings by divorce courts in their home countries.

(My one and only divorce was settled amicably between the two of us, but not before she initially hired a twisted, lying POS female divorce lawyer who attempted to eviscerate me)

 

Have to feel for this guy who found a Thai wife, but she's going after him in a British court.

[brianj1964]

27 minutes ago, possum1931 said:

What is ILR? Can't you take the time to type the words?

Indefinite leave to remain

[catman20]

12 minutes ago, soalbundy said:

Yes i am married but live with another woman since 10 years who is the mother of my son, i managed to avoid a divorce which would have adversely affected my pension but still support my wife with whom i now have amiable relations. You didn't hit a nerve but i know how much pain and worry this man is going through,you obviously don't or don't care so you probably aren't marriage material anyway

your dead right there mate, i was married one time a long time ago, I now know its a con and YES I AM NOT MARRIAGE MARITAL NOW. your also right i dont really care, people especially in here in Thailand getting married having kids in there sixties  thinking there 25 year old wife loves them and the first thing the man dose when he goes out to play golf is go to a short time bar to get his nuts in. the hole things a sham and i feel there for the most part they get what they deserved. 

[catman20]

5 minutes ago, lungnorm said:

Why Why Why do you guys marry these wenches in the first place. Just pay for their services and stay free. Its not rocket science. You see the same old same old an this forum all the time. Wake up gents and live your life like a FREE MAN. Cheaper to pay by the nite than to marry the gold digging bitches. This my friends is SOUND ADVICE.

SPOKEN LIKE A REAL MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[blackcab]

31 minutes ago, brianj1964 said:

Indefinite leave to remain

 

Which can not be revoked unless it was obtained fraudulently (which I doubt is the case here).

 

From what I have seen there is a spike in divorces after ILR is granted. The point being the woman is home free, can get a good percentage of their husband's wealth and also stay in the UK.

 

No need for them to hang around any more. 

[user82374298374]

17 hours ago, Ballantyne said:

or that she will meet another man who may take advantage of her new financial wealth.

   

I'm pretty sure that ship has already sailed, and that his name is Somchai.

[hanuman2543]

Reasons to file for divorce in Thailand you find in Sec 1516 of the Civil and Commercial code. It will cost much more than the 40 Baht mentioned above. A good lawyer (if you are able to find one) will cost a 6 digit amount, translators are hard to find and expensive (between 4000-8000 Baht a day). On top there are the court fees. Many possibilities to lengthen the process, it could take years before a verdict is reached. You and your wife have to appear personally in court for  every session. The bright side: Everything obtained during marriage will be split 50/50. What was yours before and obtained with your sin somros will stay yours. The problem is to proof it was obtained with money you owned alone before marriage.

[yooyoo]

Hehee... wish you luck... you will now see the nice side of a Thai woman.. they are evil and will stop at nothing to grab all that they can and use the children against you ... 

[bazza40]

2 hours ago, louse1953 said:

So you are trying to screw your wife over.What she does with half the money she supported you in earning is no concern of yours.I can see why your wife is leaving you.

Yeah right. Hand over half your assets to your wife or defacto irrespective of the circumstances, mandated by a legal system which is a dictatorship. Try engaging your brain before attacking the keyboard. Or perhaps you're a woman with typical Western rapacity.

[louse1953]

2 hours ago, catman20 said:

your dead right there mate, i was married one time a long time ago, I now know its a con and YES I AM NOT MARRIAGE MARITAL NOW. your also right i dont really care, people especially in here in Thailand getting married having kids in there sixties  thinking there 25 year old wife loves them and the first thing the man dose when he goes out to play golf is go to a short time bar to get his nuts in. the hole things a sham and i feel there for the most part they get what they deserved. 

Just happened to a newbie on the block up my way.He's 70,she is 30.Built a nice house on Mums land with a pool and now he's gone and she has gone to Phuket for another victim to furnish the place.She could of waited a few weeks and she would have got the furniture and we could have had a house warming pissup.Thoughtless hussy.She had form with an Ozzie,marriage lasted 3 days.He was told but wouldn't listen.Sold up in Blighty and now another whinging victim.How these blokes get this far in life beats me.Went past the pool today,full with clean cool water,what a waste.May go see the Mum and have a swim on a hot day.

[louse1953]

49 minutes ago, bazza40 said:

Yeah right. Hand over half your assets to your wife or defacto irrespective of the circumstances, mandated by a legal system which is a dictatorship. Try engaging your brain before attacking the keyboard. Or perhaps you're a woman with typical Western rapacity.

I am a fair bloke Bazza and circumstances say you are partners in marriage or de facto,equal partners.That's the law Bazza,like it or not.I am not aware that UK is a dictatorship.As indicated by every answer in this discussion,men want it all their own way but those days are well gone.I used to know and old bloke in a brickyard that showed his wife the same payslip for 10 years.She battled on on what he gave her while he pissed it up down the pub.

[bazza40]

45 minutes ago, louse1953 said:

I am a fair bloke Bazza and circumstances say you are partners in marriage or de facto,equal partners.That's the law Bazza,like it or not.I am not aware that UK is a dictatorship.As indicated by every answer in this discussion,men want it all their own way but those days are well gone.I used to know and old bloke in a brickyard that showed his wife the same payslip for 10 years.She battled on on what he gave her while he pissed it up down the pub.

 

I was in a defacto relationship for 16 years. When I met her, she was one rental payment from being tossed out into the street, along with her two children, late teenagers. I put a roof over her head, bought her two new cars, took her on holidays she could never have afforded etc. etc.

When we parted company, I gave her the money to build a new townhouse. We had a written agreement she would leave half of the value to me or my son when she died. The other half to her children.

Behind my back, she consulted a solicitor who told her the agreement had no legal standing. The only agreements in Australian family law which have legal standing are a binding financial agreement, or court orders, both approved by the Family Court. If that's not a legal dictatorship, I don't know what is.

She reneged on the agreement, and nothing I could do. So don't talk to me about being a fair bloke, you haven't the foggiest idea of what the courts are doing to people like me.