The old pastor made it to a practice to visit the parish school one day a week. 

He walked into the 4th grade class, where the children were studying the states, and asked them how many states they could name. 

They came up with about 40 names. 

He jokingly told them that in his day students knew the names of all the states. 

One lad snickered, "Yes, but in those days there were only 13."
 

While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,"Are there any gators around here?!" 

"Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!" 

"Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. 

About halfway there he asked the guy,"How'd you get rid of the gators?" 

"We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said. "The sharks got 'em." 
 

Four older men stand on the first tee. Just as Ralph is about to hit his tee shot, a funeral procession drives by. Ralph takes off his hat and bows his head until the procession is finished. Once the procession is over, he puts his hat back on his head and starts to line up his shot. John and the other guys are astonished. 

John says, "Ralph, we have had a standing tee time together for the past 10 years. We didn't know that you were such a sentimental guy." 

Ralph says, "Hell, we were married for 25 years, it's the least I could do."