My Thai girlfriend

[TGIR]

Here's a good idea.  My wife and I have been married 28 years the 8th of October.  We "met" because I answered one of those "meet asian women" ads......long before on-line dating.  We corresponded for six months, by good old snail mail.  I also corresponded with four other women who weeded themselves out after not more than a couple of letters.

 

You will learn a lot more about someone this way than any other that I can think of.  If you are lonely and desperate for a lasting romance give yourself a chance to know someone first, and them you.  Two dates qualifies you for a third one, certainly not a marriage.  

 

 

Edited September 30, 2016 by TGIR
spelling error

[Pik]

As soon as she gets citizenship, you will cry... child support for life, with her as a mother grants her full access to the money

 

Would You buy a brewery to have a beer?

[USNret]

3 hours ago, bbbbooboo said:

Lol.....so funny.You forgot the "brother"

 

and the sick cow

[Kwasaki]

Sorry OP but as well as you being roasted on TV,  it sounds like a desperate Thai lady and you may well get roasted by her or any woman getting into a relationship in a serious way so quicky, surely you must know that.

Sadly many Thai ladies at 35 year think they getting close to be over the hill.

If you are keen on this lady at least spend much more time together before making commitments and 35 year of age yourself again surely you know it makes sense.  

[HauptmannUK]

What I did;

1. Get to know her over about three years before proposing - including lengthy periods living together.

2. Learn to speak read and write Thai so that you understand most of the discussions with family and friends. Thai is not as difficult as people make out - if you really put your mind to learning it. You may also need to learn Isaan dialect.

3. Convince her that you are a low income Falang. I always stayed in modest hotels and ate street food . Maybe 'run out of money' sometimes. Do not buy any expensive gifts.

 

In my case things worked out well. She is very genuine. Marriage party cost about 5000 thb a few years ago and sin sot 50 000 thb.

I revealed my financial situation to her after marriage and she was surprised, but has not changed her behaviour. I'm happy. She's in the UK now, working most days and really likes it.

 

A poor village girl can turn out good. I had a hiso girlfriend (manager at a big property co. in BKK. Very beautiful Chinese Thai. Good university and good English. 'Never had Falang boyfriend before' - That turned out to be a lie and she was a real two faced bitch.

Edited September 30, 2016 by HauptmannUK

[thaibeachlovers]

If you aren't a troll, here's my suggestion.

Agree to visit her as long as your holidays allow for a couple of years, then if it works out that long, agree to marry her if she signs a prenup stating that she will ask for nothing from you in the event of divorce.

Do not agree to buy her anything expensive like cars or houses. Tell her at the start you will not support her family in any way. IF she agrees to that, you might be onto a winner.

Do not take her to your country, as she will become just like the western women you don't want to marry.

Do not agree to live anywhere near her family, and rent a 1 bedroom house so they can't stay with you if they visit.

 

BTW, can you get a job in Thailand? You could stay on a marriage extension, but you won't have much money at your age to live on for the rest of your life.

 

I have been there, done that, and learned the hard way that women don't fall in love with you after 2 visits. I lived with mine for a year before marriage and it still didn't work out.

 

Good luck, and it would help to disengage small head when making big decisions.

 

PS. I once met a bargirl that wanted me to take her to my country to live with me after one night together- did I think it was true love???????????

Edited September 30, 2016 by thaibeachlovers

[maximillian]

OP, please...   don't rush things. You are 35, she is 35. Almost too late for her to have her first baby.

She might be in 'Last-Minute-Panic'. 

 

No, if you really like her, then please take your time to get to know her and her family, if possible as many of her friends as well. Try to find out as much as possible about her past.

 

If I was 35, I'd be looking for a girl of 25.

[Jonathan Swift]

I've chatted with MANY beautiful Thai girls since I first visited Thailand in 2013, met quite a few and dated a few. I remain good friends with many, many of whom would probably be happy for me to be a boyfriend or maybe husband. I met all of them first on Thaicupid.com then text, skype, and maybe meet when I go there. I am 60 years old, but not particularly well off, not enough to totally support someone. That weeds out all the opportunists and gold diggers. If anyone starts coming on strong I tell them I can't just jump into a relationship or a marriage, it has to be a friendship first. We need to take time to get to know each other. I can't see mapping out a life and future with someone before the first few steps are taken, and for me that means spending more than 6 months out of the year there and knowing where I'm going to live long term. I don't think it would be fair to the girl if I couldn't make a commitment and live up to it, and going back and forth to the US isn't going to be workable. Jump too far and too quick and you may be asking for trouble. There's no need to be in a hurry. Some girls are "shopping" for husbands, and when they find what they want, they pile on. So make sure you're comfortable and not being rushed into something too fast. What people say here about the families and being expected to pay is true as far as it goes, it's a cultural thing, fine if you like it, but it's not the only way to go. And take it from me, there are PLENTY of fish in the Gulf of Thailand. Take your time and if you feel comfortable it's right. If you don't feel comfortable don't go any further until you are. Make sure you understand each other as best you can and are on the same page. Hire a translator if you have to haha 5555 . I met a wonderful and beautiful 50 year old Thai girl, she was a singer like me, a beautiful voice, lonesome for companionship, I enjoyed every moment I spent with her playing music and singing in Bangkok clubs, but not as a boyfriend - just friends and companions, I used to love her singing voice and the way she laughed and even cursed out the cab drivers with F bombs, and she was a former Buddhist nun yet!! She laughed at my warped american sense of humor, which she had her own thai version of, she'd send me pornographic video clips for laughs, yet she was too shy to have ever let me give her a big hug and friendly kiss - something about devout Buddhist girls i guess. I called her my soul sister. . She asked me a few times if i thought I could "love" her, and I said I didn't know. I don't really know how that works, but I know "love" comes in many forms, wears many different clothes, doesn't necessarily follow the script we have in our heads. She wasn't making much money and life was hard, and took an opportunity to marry a danish guy and move to Denmark, and I was happy for her but sad because I had thought we might put a musical duo together once I settled there and do some great things.  I thought she'd disappear after she got married, but she still sends me little notes and greetings every day, pictures of the food she cooks (Thai girls draw a lot of pride and self esteem from culinary skills) little "happy Monday, or Tuesday" flower greetings. I have a number of other lady friends to visit when I go back, it's all good. Here are some pics of "Amy" and me

[StevieDee]

She don't mind spread the love all over social medias to me. She is crazy about me

 

That's the social media identity that she uses for you. What about the other 3 or 4 she has with different names expressing her 'love all over social media' to other guys?

[neeray]

It is common for many Thai girls to throw the word love around very easily. It doesn't necessarily have any meaning beyond an aid to score their man. Beginners in the Thai scene are usually suckers for this and their charms (they are very charming). 

Yes, you are probably just a ticket to what looks like a greener pasture. Buyer beware !

[ChrisKC]

If it all works out, good luck to you, but while admitting that some responses on here are rather cynical, it nevertheless remains an actual fact that the chances of success of the sort you want, is very unlikely.

We all realise though, that the benefits you have over most of us of being "super" and "good looking" might work in your favour.

[kennypowers]

10 hours ago, starky said:

Big wheel keep on turning, Proud Mary keep on burning. Trolling, Trolling, Trolling, Trolling. Trolling on a river.

 

Great track that. Gonna Youtube it now. Thanks for the reminder!

[Muzarella]

If she wants to move in the USA, and if you can get the visa to do it, you have nothing to lose to get married with her.....HERE.... and move to the USA after. Check first all her info. At 35, if she was  not married before, perhaps she have children, or...another situation to be single at 35. Not common in Thailand.

If no money request involved, getting legally married and divorced  here it is easy and fast, if no assets involved. In the USA, with a marriage agreement, it is easy too. By experience of people I know, married with Thai and living in the USA, looks like that is a very good situation, and happy too. Thai women makes very good spouses, and adapt easily to western cultures. It is easy for them to learn English that for you to learn Thai.

Anyway....Always be careful and prepared for surprises, very bad and very good ones.

 

 

[Muzarella]

41 minutes ago, Jonathan Swift said:

I've chatted with MANY beautiful Thai girls since I first visited Thailand in 2013, met quite a few and dated a few. I remain good friends with many, many of whom would probably be happy for me to be a boyfriend or maybe husband. I met all of them first on Thaicupid.com then text, skype, and maybe meet when I go there. I am 60 years old, but not particularly well off, not enough to totally support someone. That weeds out all the opportunists and gold diggers. If anyone starts coming on strong I tell them I can't just jump into a relationship or a marriage, it has to be a friendship first. We need to take time to get to know each other. I can't see mapping out a life and future with someone before the first few steps are taken, and for me that means spending more than 6 months out of the year there and knowing where I'm going to live long term. I don't think it would be fair to the girl if I couldn't make a commitment and live up to it, and going back and forth to the US isn't going to be workable. Jump too far and too quick and you may be asking for trouble. There's no need to be in a hurry. Some girls are "shopping" for husbands, and when they find what they want, they pile on. So make sure you're comfortable and not being rushed into something too fast. What people say here about the families and being expected to pay is true as far as it goes, it's a cultural thing, fine if you like it, but it's not the only way to go. And take it from me, there are PLENTY of fish in the Gulf of Thailand. Take your time and if you feel comfortable it's right. If you don't feel comfortable don't go any further until you are. Make sure you understand each other as best you can and are on the same page. Hire a translator if you have to haha 5555 . I met a wonderful and beautiful 50 year old Thai girl, she was a singer like me, a beautiful voice, lonesome for companionship, I enjoyed every moment I spent with her playing music and singing in Bangkok clubs, but not as a boyfriend - just friends and companions, I used to love her singing voice and the way she laughed and even cursed out the cab drivers with F bombs, and she was a former Buddhist nun yet!! She laughed at my warped american sense of humor, which she had her own thai version of, she'd send me pornographic video clips for laughs, yet she was too shy to have ever let me give her a big hug and friendly kiss - something about devout Buddhist girls i guess. I called her my soul sister. . She asked me a few times if i thought I could "love" her, and I said I didn't know. I don't really know how that works, but I know "love" comes in many forms, wears many different clothes, doesn't necessarily follow the script we have in our heads. She wasn't making much money and life was hard, and took an opportunity to marry a danish guy and move to Denmark, and I was happy for her but sad because I had thought we might put a musical duo together once I settled there and do some great things.  I thought she'd disappear after she got married, but she still sends me little notes and greetings every day, pictures of the food she cooks (Thai girls draw a lot of pride and self esteem from culinary skills) little "happy Monday, or Tuesday" flower greetings. I have a number of other lady friends to visit when I go back, it's all good. Here are some pics of "Amy" and me

 

like that do you missed a great opportunity for hapiness

[4MyEgo]

45 minutes ago, StevieDee said:

She don't mind spread the love all over social medias to me. She is crazy about me

 

That's the social media identity that she uses for you. What about the other 3 or 4 she has with different names expressing her 'love all over social media' to other guys?

 

Here say......lol

[hobobo]

Main thing, don't get jealous when she goes to visit her Thai ex - now they are just really good friends!

[lostinisaan]

9 hours ago, prestburypark said:

Hey  I married my Thai girlfriend 11 years ago, we had only met twice too, I took a chance and here we are 11 years later so happy it is unbelieve-it-able.

 

So I suggest that you start proceedings immediately to ensure that you do not make the mistake of letting her slip out of your hands, do this:

 

Start with a small monthly payment to help her out a little financially , maybe just 20-30,000 baht.

 

 Buy land in her village, preferably from her family , who will ensure that no-one rips you off,  engage a builder locally and allow you soon-to-be wife to manage the design and build.

 

Remember that she must show face to the family and village, have a nice car, Fortuner or a  good Honda , few motorcycles, and a never-ending supply of whisky and beer.

 

Buy her mum 3 or 4 baht of gold, improve mum's house and get her a new motorcycle, she will hate you slightly less for it...wait happiness is just around the corner....

 

have children , at 35 she has had practise at this and there will be on or two to support from her previous life, hell, thats fine, have some more. Job done,

you are now officially happy with one of the best girls in the world you could possibly imagine, you must not forget the amazing wedding party in the village with the Lao band and dancing girls, free booze for the village and Sin -Sod for the mum, happy trails. 

 

have children , at 35 she has had practise at this and there will be on or two to support from her previous life, hell, thats fine, have some more. Job done,

you are now officially happy with one of the best girls in the world you could possibly imagine, you must not forget the amazing wedding party in the village with the Lao band and dancing girls, free booze for the village and Sin -Sod for the mum, happy trails.

 

 Were you on LSD when you wrote this great post? 

[NanLaew]

3 hours ago, bark said:

... the Real Hot 20 years Thai girls...

Fiction.

[cyberfarang]

True story.
My girlfriend knows of a 31 year old Thai woman from her village in Chiang Mai that only a few months ago opened what seemed a decent massage and spa shop in the area. In all all appearances this woman comes across as upper middle class and educated.

We discovered that the massage and spa she has here is just a front of respectability to impress her family. In there she works by the book, no specials or happy endings. She really doesn’t care if the business makes money or not. Then there is her other lifestyle, so terribly shocking and totally different that her 2 worlds could never meet.

She stays in Thailand for 1 month, and then she flies off to Colombo in Sri Lanka and once there commutes between the Maldives, Colombo and Kandy Sri Lanka where she becomes a hardcore prostitute for another month. So has 2 identities, the respectable owner of a spa and doting mother of a 2 year old baby and then a hard-core sex worker Thai prostitute working in Sri Lanka.

How it works: Thai people are visa exempt is they travel as tourists by plane to Sri Lanka for no more than 30 days. The fare money direct from Chiang Mai to Sri Lanka is not expensive, only 8000 baht return and probably only a two and a half hour to 3 hour journey. There is an illegal agency operating on a social networking site that sets these girls up with jobs in massage and spa parlours that are all fronts for brothels in Sri Lanka or in illegal sex bars. The girls are in Sri Lanka on a 30 day visa exempt stay as tourists but are actually there working as prostitutes illegally. The Sri Lanka government turns a blind eye to it because it’s good for the tourist trade.

Then after 30 days this woman returns to Thailand and resumes her normal life here again for 1 month and then back to Sri Lanka again for another 30 days working illegally as a prostitute, meaning she alternates between Thailand and Sri Lanka 6 times a year. I guess this is just the tip of the iceberg, that many Thai women are working this system around the 30 day visa exempt countries all over Asia.

So how does this story relate to the OP`s situation? I am not saying that the OPs girlfriend is into anything like this, but what I am saying is; don`t assume anything purely on appearances, how they seem to behave and nice words,  don`t make rash decisions and be at least 90% sure of a person before making any commitments. because some people can have more than one side to them.

[Suradit69]

Quote

 Is it normal that they fall in love so fast? 

 

 

Maybe you're special.

[napoleon3]

I guess this will be the last time he asked some advice from a bunch of stupidos !

[Suradit69]

49 minutes ago, cyberfarang said:

True story.
My girlfriend knows of a 31 year old Thai woman from her village in Chiang Mai that only a few months ago opened what seemed a decent massage and spa shop in the area. In all all appearances this woman comes across as upper middle class and educated.

We discovered that the massage and spa she has here is just a front of respectability to impress her family. In there she works by the book, no specials or happy endings. She really doesn’t care if the business makes money or not. Then there is her other lifestyle, so terribly shocking and totally different that her 2 worlds could never meet.

She stays in Thailand for 1 month, and then she flies off to Colombo in Sri Lanka and once there commutes between the Maldives, Colombo and Kandy Sri Lanka where she becomes a hardcore prostitute for another month. So has 2 identities, the respectable owner of a spa and doting mother of a 2 year old baby and then a hard-core sex worker Thai prostitute working in Sri Lanka.

How it works: Thai people are visa exempt is they travel as tourists by plane to Sri Lanka for no more than 30 days. The fare money direct from Chiang Mai to Sri Lanka is not expensive, only 8000 baht return and probably only a two and a half hour to 3 hour journey. There is an illegal agency operating on a social networking site that sets these girls up with jobs in massage and spa parlours that are all fronts for brothels in Sri Lanka or in illegal sex bars. The girls are in Sri Lanka on a 30 day visa exempt stay as tourists but are actually there working as prostitutes illegally. The Sri Lanka government turns a blind eye to it because it’s good for the tourist trade.

Then after 30 days this woman returns to Thailand and resumes her normal life here again for 1 month and then back to Sri Lanka again for another 30 days working illegally as a prostitute, meaning she alternates between Thailand and Sri Lanka 6 times a year. I guess this is just the tip of the iceberg, that many Thai women are working this system around the 30 day visa exempt countries all over Asia.

So how does this story relate to the OP`s situation? I am not saying that the OPs girlfriend is into anything like this, but what I am saying is; don`t assume anything purely on appearances, how they seem to behave and nice words,  don`t make rash decisions and be at least 90% sure of a person before making any commitments. because some people can have more than one side to them.

" So how does this story relate to the OP`s situation? "

It doesn't remotely. It's just an opportunity for you to tell some ridiculous story denigrating Thai women. If anything it just proves that some farang males are really gossipy old women.

 

"I guess this is just the tip of the iceberg, that many Thai women are working this system around the 30 day visa exempt countries all over Asia."

 

Many Thai women?? How could you possibly extrapolate to arrive at this conclusion?

Many farang men travel to Thailand solely for sex. Does than mean that most farang are sex tourists?

Edited September 30, 2016 by Suradit69

[Enoon]

12 hours ago, Superme said:

Hey people what is wrong with you about this trolling thing. This is a second post I read this crap. If you have nothing to say in this matter then just don't waste my time. 

 

What is "normal" for Thai girls?

 

You need to know about this particular girl.

 

I have not met her so I cannot advise, other than to say that the quicker you go and spend time in the environment in which she wants you to exist, the quicker you will know what to do.

 

Make sure you have the means and ability to leave sooner or later than planned when you get there.  

 

".........and you understand a lot in a few minutes, the rest has to be lived."

Edited September 30, 2016 by Enoon

[bark]

1 hour ago, NanLaew said:

Fiction.

And if I care. Money buys all

[gemguy]

Best advice you could be given goes like this:

Have a No Strings Attached relationship with her for about ....ohhhh....lets say....10 years minimum, until you are really confident she is not a gold digger and using you as her means and ways to achieve her agenda and goals in life.

10 years later and After you are confident she is not a gold digger then you may suggest living together in a small rented apartment that you can easily abandon such that ..."after" .......you learn she is a gold digger, if that is the case, and come to realize she actually played you all that time for the Long Run / Long Term angle.

 

Meantime feel free to have as many No Strings Attached relationships with various other women until you finally feel that you need to settle down with one of them while the one presently in question may be or could be the one that you feel the most confident and comfortable with .

 

Until then ...enjoy ..just enjoy the care free, less hassle single life.

 

Cheers

Edited September 30, 2016 by gemguy

[55Jay]

OP (who's long gone by now?), do this.

 

1.  Remove references to Thailand and Thai women from your OP.

 

2.  Replace with your home country of _______ and a woman you met there the same way.  

 

3.  Re-read your OP in that context and tell us what you think.

[how241]

There is good and bad ladies everywhere. Just take it very slowly until you know her Much better...Don't buy any houses, just rent for at least 3-5 years.

[cyberfarang]

1 hour ago, Suradit69 said:

" So how does this story relate to the OP`s situation? "

It doesn't remotely. It's just an opportunity for you to tell some ridiculous story denigrating Thai women. If anything it just proves that some farang males are really gossipy old women.

 

"I guess this is just the tip of the iceberg, that many Thai women are working this system around the 30 day visa exempt countries all over Asia."

 

Many Thai women?? How could you possibly extrapolate to arrive at this conclusion?

Many farang men travel to Thailand solely for sex. Does than mean that most farang are sex tourists?

Not most, but many.

 

I have known Thai women that have been left broken hearted by Farlangs who have led them on pretending to be someone they are not, fallen in love with them, and once they give it up to the Farlang, the Farlang does a disappearing act and then starts hitting on the next one. I would say to anyone here, Farlang, Thai, male and female, don`t dive in too quick and to really get to know the person first.

[mercman24]

i had to keep a low profile for 3 weeks, my "girlfriends, boyfriend" ? has been visiting, no texts no line, he looks after her her family and even a dam cousin <deleted>.

40,000 baht a month , i don't knock it. she say, " i send for you " yep one born every minute, he is back in Sweden now, silly bugger.

[georgemandm]

6 hours ago, bark said:

Yes, maybe ur right.

His GF works outside Nana Plaza, and gets all the Old Arab men, that the Real Hot 20 years Thai girls will not touch.

 

5 hours ago, mesterm said:

Lots of jokes in this thread, but OP if you're not trolling, I advise you to be very careful of being manipulated. She is using the same tactics scores of other women from Thailand use to extract money and/or Visas from foreign men.

 

Beyond this advice if you want to take such a big risk, it's your choice.

 

If you have that much goodwill and money that you want to give it away, volunteer and donate to a Thai children's orphanage.

I can't believe how so many men get suck in to a thai lady's but it has a lot to do with the hairy Loso it takes time to get to know them like 1 to 3 years then you make up your own mind not after two times with her .