The expression: You can take the girl out of the bar, but you can't take the bar out of the girl....

[ChrisKC]

I am glad to say that I don't have any experience either way. But as with any well known saying: it will be true for some and not for others. I am not putting any figures on it. Unless anyone know 100% of bargirls then the answer can never be known

Edited October 21, 2016 by ChrisKC
added comment

[mcfish]

I can say with honesty, that I have known about 50 or so Thai girls that moved from Thailand to the uk. None, repeat zero are still married to the same guy now. That said, only 50% or so we're bar girls, so the issue is more with Thai women on general than bar girls.
 
Maybe it's about taking the Thai out of the girl as well as the bar !
 
 

 
My post was aimed at people who believe in the OP's topic on the saying,  l thought l made it clear l do not like people who believe it or say it, to me they are just uncaring demeaning morons and l wondered when someone would come up with that question directed at me instead of answering the OP's question of the expression used.
Why would you ask that,  because of my concern for human beings or are all girls to you that work in bars all over Thailand apart from tourist ones all on the game. ?

You knew 50 girls and tracked them for years and stayed on top of their marriage and divorce situations.

LMAO!!


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[Deepinthailand]

 4 hours ago, RichardColeman said:

I can say with honesty, that I have known about 50 or so Thai girls that moved from Thailand to the uk. None, repeat zero are still married to the same guy now. That said, only 50% or so we're bar girls, so the issue is more with Thai women on general than bar girls.

 

 

Funny that I know a few couples who moved over there no problems still married. But I know 50 married both british couples and zero zilch not one of them are still married.

[paulsingle]

I only personally know one Thai lady in England. She met her husband whill she was working in a bar. They have been living in England, happily married for 8 years now with their beautiful 7 year old daughter.

I met this lady through a restaurant business she had. She now concentrates on her fantastic, intricate fruit and vegetable carvings for weddings and other occasions. 

They are a very close and happy family. 

I will grant that this is often not the case but it does happen.

When I took my girlfriend to England for 3 months all my friends and family knew how we'd met but without exception,  all who meet her really liked her and considered her to be an honest and decent lady. 

[fordguy61mi]

On 10/14/2016 at 6:44 AM, i claudius said:

I have an ex bar girl friend from many years ago ,now lives in the UK is married with children has 2 restaurants and is the hight of respectability also know an Ex bar girl who works in an office ,you would never guess what she did before, I also know a British girl who was a hooker for many years in her youth,now in her 50s,and very respectable,again no one else would ever know.
Ps in my younger life I was not the nice married guy I am now, but times change and so do many of us

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On 10/14/2016 at 6:44 AM, i claudius said:

I have an ex bar girl friend from many years ago ,now lives in the UK is married with children has 2 restaurants and is the hight of respectability also know an Ex bar girl who works in an office ,you would never guess what she did before, I also know a British girl who was a hooker for many years in her youth,now in her 50s,and very respectable,again no one else would ever know.
Ps in my younger life I was not the nice married guy I am now, but times change and so do many of us

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On 10/14/2016 at 6:44 AM, i claudius said:

I have an ex bar girl friend from many years ago ,now lives in the UK is married with children has 2 restaurants and is the hight of respectability also know an Ex bar girl who works in an office ,you would never guess what she did before, I also know a British girl who was a hooker for many years in her youth,now in her 50s,and very respectable,again no one else would ever know.
Ps in my younger life I was not the nice married guy I am now, but times change and so do many of us

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Sorry if I'm being naive. I'm not with a bar girl nor plan on it, but curious how one would get a BG back to their home country? I know the U.S. makes the girls fill out biographical forms including where they've worked the last 5 years on a sponsored visa app and I assume they check up on it so they don't have prostitutes immigrating to the country, right? Not sure what the UK requires. But putting down a bar in Soi Cowboy as previous employment and having the app go through would sound far-fetched to me. Or maybe if the girl lies and immigration doesn't check they can squeak by? Am just curious when I read about a lot of bar girls going back to the farang's home country.

[4MyEgo]

On 14/10/2016 at 7:24 PM, Macthehat said:

Sometimes the stigma attached to being a bar girl prevents others from giving them the chance to prove they can change . I know a few guys in long term relationships with ex bar girls. 

Personally I think everyone can change and for those thinking once a bar girl always a bar girl I would say that's not the case . I'm sure most men on this site have had their fair share of ladies in their life span .... this would be considered by friends as " a man of the world " but put the shoe on the other foot and the bar girl , whom most have worked in bars out of necessity would be regarded as the lowest of the low . 

I also know guys who have married what they thought were the virgin Mary, only to find out she's the local bicycle . 

My breakdown or it all is no matter who she was or what she was , if your happy and she's happy what's  the problem .

 

 

Spoken like a true gentleman, nice reply 555

[Deepinthailand]

25 minutes ago, fordguy61mi said:

 

 

Sorry if I'm being naive. I'm not with a bar girl nor plan on it, but curious how one would get a BG back to their home country? I know the U.S. makes the girls fill out biographical forms including where they've worked the last 5 years on a sponsored visa app and I assume they check up on it so they don't have prostitutes immigrating to the country, right? Not sure what the UK requires. But putting down a bar in Soi Cowboy as previous employment and having the app go through would sound far-fetched to me. Or maybe if the girl lies and immigration doesn't check they can squeak by? Am just curious when I read about a lot of bar girls going back to the farang's home country.

So they put something else on the form no big deal. Oh and don't forget no one one here ever marries a bar girl it's just everyone knows a "friend" that has ???

[4MyEgo]

To answer the question, I think it would boil down to the type of bar girl you marry, the hardcore one who has been around for a while, I am assuming would only be interested in shafting you as everyone else has probably shafted her, and made her hardcore, bitter and twisted, what goes around, comes around, so be ready to duck, or the one who has only been in the game for a short time, so to speak, for example, say under a year, she would probably be looking for someone with long term security, possibly looking to marry a falang, and would be choosier, lets not forget, all females want security, and I don't care where your coming from, the 1st thing a women seeks is long term security, its in the species, nothing wrong with that, e.g. wants to marry, pop a couple of kids, and ponders, what can this guy offer me and the kids for the future, as opposed to giving me and the kids a hard life, it also works the other way for us, e.g. can she cook, iron, swallow etc etc, sorry for the punt 555

 

I have had, and still do have my fair share of bar girls when in Phuket or Pattaya, and I am happily married, the thing most idiots forget is or don't give a rats is, that if these girls had a choice, they wouldn't be there or spreading their legs for quids, just think about it, how desperate must a chick be to open her legs for us, for money, suffice to say, everyone will take advantage of them, bang them for their bucks, take a photo (trophy) and show and tell a few stories to their mates, even video them with a spy-cam, saying how I did this and how I did that, "tossers" IMO, well that's the male ego for you isn't it.

 

I on the other hand prefer to enjoy the service with a conversation, have some drinks, enjoy some games, have a laugh, and if it feels right, take them back to the hotel for what I would consider a happy ending for all concerned, if it didn't feel right, or I was too tired or trashed, I would slip them 500-1,000 baht for there time, and they would be happy, after all they are also making on the drinks, no cheap Charlie here and no spreading for them.

 

No I won't call them or any other girls/women, a "prostitute" just because they take money for a service, like I said, any female offering herself for sex, must have a reason, and that reason is usually desperation, most women back in Sydney, depending on the venue/meat market, woulds spread their legs after a few drinks, what do I call them, "sluts"  come on now 555 fella's.

 

If I was to call women who take money "prostitutes" then what would I call myself, a "hobbyists" a bit light if you ask me,  fact of the matter is, a little respect is required, as is understanding of the situation, most tossers get off the plane, don't give a rats, go straight into it, and walk away calling them "prostitutes", these guys are uneducated and or probably can't strike a conversation in a normal world with a female and stay home tossing over a porno, until its time to hit Thailand again.

 

Lets not forget these girls don't get laid every night and they do and can refuse the customer, and a lot of the girls do go there to marry a falang, that is, if they can catch one, and a lot do, however holding onto them can be a challenge because most Thai's don't know anything about falangs, except that they are walking ATM machines withdrawing a month (Thai) salary every night and spending it on booze, bar fining girls, and stay at nice hotels, so the challenge for the would be falang in the beginning would be to carry on how he normally does back home, because if he's throwing the dosh around like a mug, ringing the bell 1,000 baht at a time, flaunting the ego, he will attract his future BG, of the wrong kind, future Mrs hardcore BG, IMO.

 

Just the other day at the local town, a girl at the store said to my wife, how long have you been with your falang, and my wife replied, the girl then asked, how is your life, and my wife replied, and the girl said; oh, I so much want to marry a falang, remember the security thing I was saying, its an easier life, most guys with a semi-hard on haven't been outside of the red light districts to see what kind of existence the Thai people live, some harder than others, Thailand is full of sluts and prostitutes would be their opinions, I know this because I know of a few of these tossers, and you will have Buckley's trying to convince them otherwise, because they all have degrees with distinctions, get my drift.

 

I also know a few guys who have married BG's and they are as happy as can be, so it depends on the girls, so I suppose you can take the bar out of the girl, and the girl out of the bar.

 

At the end of the day, it really boils down to the girl, her personality and how well she can negotiate and understand the falang, this would be the key in any relationship, and please, let us NOT forget, some of us have X wives, now I think I just found an appropriate word befitting for them, starting with a "P"  

[4MyEgo]

On 15/10/2016 at 0:32 AM, possum1931 said:

But how many guys who marry a bargirl will admit what his wife worked at before she met him?

 

I have heard, we met in a shopping centre.

 

I have heard, we met in a disco.

 

I have heard, she worked in the hotel I was staying.

 

My reply when asked where did you meet your wife in Thailand, and I always reply with; well, it was a big night, I couldn't remember much, I just woke up in the morning and she was beside me in my bed, she was naked, I was naked, I think we had sex, and we have been together ever since, it could have been worse you know ?

[The Deerhunter]

4 hours ago, smotherb said:

Yeah, the original adage was, "You can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think."

Really?   Surely you jest?  That sounds more like horses & not drinking water.  

I have friends married to Bar girls and friends married to girls met on Thai dating sites.   One ex BG married to a friend is exemplary and 100% trustworthy.  There is good & bad in all types but I personally subscribe to the theory that the longer they are in the life, the more damaged they become.  It is a cruel hard life & they live off their wits & knife each other in the back all the time. They see the very worst of men (almost) all the time and are lied to so much they tend to lose their grip on reality.  I have known heaps and lived well inside the circle for over 12 years.  My ex flat mate used to go round the parlours (in a western country)and write all the "please send me money, Darkling" yahoo chats for them.

[Deepinthailand]

25 minutes ago, The Deerhunter said:

Really?   Surely you jest?  That sounds more like horses & not drinking water.  

I have friends married to Bar girls and friends married to girls met on Thai dating sites.   One ex BG married to a friend is exemplary and 100% trustworthy.  There is good & bad in all types but I personally subscribe to the theory that the longer they are in the life, the more damaged they become.  It is a cruel hard life & they live off their wits & knife each other in the back all the time. They see the very worst of men (almost) all the time and are lied to so much they tend to lose their grip on reality.  I have known heaps and lived well inside the circle for over 12 years.  My ex flat mate used to go round the parlours (in a western country)and write all the "please send me money, Darkling" yahoo chats for them.

Can the same not be said for any profession the longer your in it the darker you become. I know it can be said of me for a start I trust maybe 4000 people in this world I don't know all of them but I know if I get/got in harms way they would be there. The rest I will talk to but not really belive what they say I judge on first impressions and rarely if ever do I change that opinion. I don't suffer fools or people who belive themselfs to be better than everyone else. I don't care what people think of me I am what I am or what I was made to be perhaps. Bar girls are not in my opinion prostitutes. Good time girls is more appropriate. I know plenty who work 8n the bars around pattaya/bangkok who don't go with guys at all you can buy them drinks all day and chat away but when you stop buying they go home alone. So let's stop with all the tv reteric bad mouthing and in some cases works of science fiction. We are no angels to judge people I wonder just how many expats came here and indulged with a good time girl before settling down (with you non bar girl of course). Then with old age comes the oh how disgusting these girls are, then the oh they will ALL rip you off. 

Did I marry a good time girl/bar girl. You bet I did and still happy all these years later. Don't paint every bar /good time girl in Thailand as a money grabber or a rip off merchant. If you got shafted tough shit it happens but not to everyone as you would have us all belive.

[Top man]

I remember going with a girl from a bar.we were together for about 6 months. After my experience and then listening to other farangs,  I then realised that girls  in the  western  so called world  have  had  more  d...... up them than thai girls.you  could actually say many more things that a western woman  could do bad.but unfortunately people on thai visa only want to  slate. " it's  boring  ".

Take care all.

[eastendanto]

On 14/10/2016 at 0:58 PM, mcfish said:

Ex bar girls never quit. They just lay dormant..

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This geezer Dormant must be getting laid until he is ......dormant then ?

[mcfish]

I remember going with a girl from a bar.we were together for about 6 months. After my experience and then listening to other farangs,  I then realised that girls  in the  western  so called world  have  had  more  d...... up them than thai girls.you  could actually say many more things that a western woman  could do bad.but unfortunately people on thai visa only want to  slate. " it's  boring  ".
Take care all.

Errm no. There are no western women had more Dicks up them than a thai hooker. A thai hooker will bang crusty old men all day, fat Germans and and Pakistani gang bangs all in a single shift.

Try getting a western girl to even think about that lol

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[thedivezone]

On 10/13/2016 at 6:04 PM, mcfish said:

 

The real problem is her giving your old uncle a 20 dollar BJ in the toilet at the FAMILY BBQ

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Why ? Was your uncle not pleased ?

[mcfish]

 
 
Why ? Was your uncle not pleased ?

Yes apparently because they ran away together. GOD I miss him [emoji31]

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[A1Str8]

It's not a hundred percent true but it's true for the most part. There are exceptions. There are university students that are worse than bar girls. 

[thedivezone]

I actually prefer the saying "you can take the monkey out of the jungle but you can't take the jungle out of the monkey." 

[Johpa]

On 10/13/2016 at 6:16 AM, Berkshire said:

Assuming this is a legitimate question, I'd say more like 90% of the time.  Firstly, a BG would have to be in a pretty messed-up situation to even be in that life.  So she has that going against her.  But if a genuinely decent gal becomes a BG and has only been in the trade for a few days, then she hasn't completely gone to the dark side yet.  After a few months of being in that life, not only the sex-with-many-men-she-doesn't-care-about, but also being around some seriously screwed up people and losing sense of what reality is, then yes, the trade will fry their brains.  Hard to recover from that. 

 

You are correct as long as you equate a messed up situation with being poor and having few, if any, options.  But I have known Thai women who worked in the sex industry for several years, some on the far more difficult "local" scene, who walked away and became nice people and good moms.  On the other hand I have met a few ex-pat wives who are introduced to me by their deluded Farang husbands as coming from a good family, even from Hi-So families, who are clearly former bar girls and who I feel are just nasty.  The reason the deluded Farang husband thinks wife comes from a good family is that the nice house and new car of the new father in-law was paid for by the former ex-pat boyfriend.  It is just as hard to get the bar stool out from underneath the Farang husband.  It works both ways.

 

And by the way, more Thai women fry their brains watching Thai soap operas on TV then by working the bars.

[callaway]

Only one post told it correctly. You all call them bar girls to make you feel better when marry them. They are prostitutes and you married a prostitute. A women who takes money from strangers for sex is a prostitute. But call them what you like if it makes you feel better.

[chicowoodduck]

Just judging by all the idiots who troll Pattaya thinking they found Miss Right in a bar.......time to head back to Suvarnabhumi Airport, get your brain and go back home....this is LIELAND, get over it! :-)

[Deepinthailand]

1 hour ago, chicowoodduck said:

Just judging by all the idiots who troll Pattaya thinking they found Miss Right in a bar.......time to head back to Suvarnabhumi Airport, get your brain and go back home....this is LIELAND, get over it! :-)

Point proved thankyou

[lungnorm]

The longer they work in the bars the more screwed in the head they get. Yes all of them.

[louse1953]

15 hours ago, LannaGuy said:

unless she really had to do it and you got her first night there is NO question that a leopard cannot change its spots 

 

sad but true... but that does not make them less than decent human beings and i have know some really nice girls in bars and helped a few but marry?  GF?  no way 

Girls are human beings,not leopards.Because they have a brain,they can do what they want.And what change is required,except for drinking less.

[Kwasaki]

13 hours ago, mcfish said:

You knew 50 girls and tracked them for years and stayed on top of their marriage and divorce situations.
LMAO!!
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No..  only 6 and 4 still together l last heard 1 divorced amicably, 1 still see from time to time and 1 other lost a husband in a motorcycle accident.

LMAO !!  that's so.oooo funny at least you have another use for your ass hole

  

[louse1953]

12 hours ago, 4MyEgo said:

To answer the question, I think it would boil down to the type of bar girl you marry, the hardcore one who has been around for a while, I am assuming would only be interested in shafting you as everyone else has probably shafted her, and made her hardcore, bitter and twisted, what goes around, comes around, so be ready to duck, or the one who has only been in the game for a short time, so to speak, for example, say under a year, she would probably be looking for someone with long term security, possibly looking to marry a falang, and would be choosier, lets not forget, all females want security, and I don't care where your coming from, the 1st thing a women seeks is long term security, its in the species, nothing wrong with that, e.g. wants to marry, pop a couple of kids, and ponders, what can this guy offer me and the kids for the future, as opposed to giving me and the kids a hard life, it also works the other way for us, e.g. can she cook, iron, swallow etc etc, sorry for the punt 555

 

I have had, and still do have my fair share of bar girls when in Phuket or Pattaya, and I am happily married, the thing most idiots forget is or don't give a rats is, that if these girls had a choice, they wouldn't be there or spreading their legs for quids, just think about it, how desperate must a chick be to open her legs for us, for money, suffice to say, everyone will take advantage of them, bang them for their bucks, take a photo (trophy) and show and tell a few stories to their mates, even video them with a spy-cam, saying how I did this and how I did that, "tossers" IMO, well that's the male ego for you isn't it.

 

I on the other hand prefer to enjoy the service with a conversation, have some drinks, enjoy some games, have a laugh, and if it feels right, take them back to the hotel for what I would consider a happy ending for all concerned, if it didn't feel right, or I was too tired or trashed, I would slip them 500-1,000 baht for there time, and they would be happy, after all they are also making on the drinks, no cheap Charlie here and no spreading for them.

 

No I won't call them or any other girls/women, a "prostitute" just because they take money for a service, like I said, any female offering herself for sex, must have a reason, and that reason is usually desperation, most women back in Sydney, depending on the venue/meat market, woulds spread their legs after a few drinks, what do I call them, "sluts"  come on now 555 fella's.

 

If I was to call women who take money "prostitutes" then what would I call myself, a "hobbyists" a bit light if you ask me,  fact of the matter is, a little respect is required, as is understanding of the situation, most tossers get off the plane, don't give a rats, go straight into it, and walk away calling them "prostitutes", these guys are uneducated and or probably can't strike a conversation in a normal world with a female and stay home tossing over a porno, until its time to hit Thailand again.

 

Lets not forget these girls don't get laid every night and they do and can refuse the customer, and a lot of the girls do go there to marry a falang, that is, if they can catch one, and a lot do, however holding onto them can be a challenge because most Thai's don't know anything about falangs, except that they are walking ATM machines withdrawing a month (Thai) salary every night and spending it on booze, bar fining girls, and stay at nice hotels, so the challenge for the would be falang in the beginning would be to carry on how he normally does back home, because if he's throwing the dosh around like a mug, ringing the bell 1,000 baht at a time, flaunting the ego, he will attract his future BG, of the wrong kind, future Mrs hardcore BG, IMO.

 

Just the other day at the local town, a girl at the store said to my wife, how long have you been with your falang, and my wife replied, the girl then asked, how is your life, and my wife replied, and the girl said; oh, I so much want to marry a falang, remember the security thing I was saying, its an easier life, most guys with a semi-hard on haven't been outside of the red light districts to see what kind of existence the Thai people live, some harder than others, Thailand is full of sluts and prostitutes would be their opinions, I know this because I know of a few of these tossers, and you will have Buckley's trying to convince them otherwise, because they all have degrees with distinctions, get my drift.

 

I also know a few guys who have married BG's and they are as happy as can be, so it depends on the girls, so I suppose you can take the bar out of the girl, and the girl out of the bar.

 

At the end of the day, it really boils down to the girl, her personality and how well she can negotiate and understand the falang, this would be the key in any relationship, and please, let us NOT forget, some of us have X wives, now I think I just found an appropriate word befitting for them, starting with a "P"  

What would you call your wife if she paid for sex in the Cross?

[Retiredandhappyhere]

i Claudius suggests in post 14 that he was once a bit of a playboy but is now a nice marreid guy.  That is in direct contrast to most guys who come to Thailand who do it the other way round, at least at the beginning. Then once the "playboy" bit gets a bit tiring, they try to be a nice married guy once again.

[louse1953]

10 hours ago, thedivezone said:

I actually prefer the saying "you can take the monkey out of the jungle but you can't take the jungle out of the monkey." 

The saying says more about you than anything else.

[4MyEgo]

18 minutes ago, louse1953 said:

What would you call your wife if she paid for sex in the Cross?

 

"Selfish", if she didn't invite me that is 555

[i claudius]

1 hour ago, Retiredandhappyhere said:

i Claudius suggests in post 14 that he was once a bit of a playboy but is now a nice marreid guy.  That is in direct contrast to most guys who come to Thailand who do it the other way round, at least at the beginning. Then once the "playboy" bit gets a bit tiring, they try to be a nice married guy once again.

Oh i love the playboy bit , i suppose i was and a bit of a crook as well, but one thing you are right about , you soon get bored with the bar scene and girls hanging around , you know its not for your fabulous good looks , i was lucky i wasn't bad looking (in my younger days) and never had a problem with getting women , so when i first came here i had done quite a bit of "getting to know girls" i said that i also knew a British hooker who was now 50 and very respectable , well i knew lots of them (not as a customer ) my life has been very varied !1 but people do change , i met my now wife in BKK she does come from a nice family ,not rich but very comfortable , i nearly blew it with her in the begining , but i realized that in life you keep on making the same mistakes(pleasurable as they are) or you go down a new path , i did and have never been happier ,

I truly do not believe the old saying about cant take the bar out of the girl , i have just seen to many people who if they put their mind to it can go in a new direction .

thats if you want to ,at the end of the day most of the things we do are for the money , or because we just like doing them