my gf want me to buy her a house.

[ehs818]

I didn't bother to read any of the other replies to your question. I'll just give you this advice, based on my having lived here for 14 years.  Ready?  GET A NEW GF.

[elgordo38]

On 10/15/2016 at 1:50 PM, lopburi3 said:

After a 7 year relationship payback of 400k for her and her family might not be that great a personal loss even if worst came to past.  If she is only asking for that amount do not believe you are really being taken advantage of.  

I have learned personally that 400K could be a rough estimate. Then there would be furniture a new truck in the driveway they call them add ons. If you can afford to loose it go for it. If not listen to the hairs possibly standing up on the back of your neck by now a good indicator. 

[SOTIRIOS]

...7-year itch....???

 

...sounds like she may be 'cashing in' on her investment...

 

...good luck.....

 

....the advice about 'losing money to a lawyer for questionable information....or results'.....!@#$%^&*....

 

...farang=big fish...

 

...like someone said...400,000 can buy you a garage.....

 

...careful what you sign.....

[Fairynuff]

On 15 October 2016 at 1:50 PM, lopburi3 said:

After a 7 year relationship payback of 400k for her and her family might not be that great a personal loss even if worst came to past.  If she is only asking for that amount do not believe you are really being taken advantage of.  

I guess I should be offering a retrospective payment for all our years together. I didn't realise a relationship came with an annual fee. 

[lopburi3]

Poster says they have been together almost eight years and he has not provided any such material support in the past but she has saved him a fortune by obtaining lower prices - so there is no reason to suspect this is anything more than a desire to be able to survive and help family in the event of the elders departure after devoting her life to his support.  In the worst case of a total loss of the 400k it would amount to about 130 per day of the relationship and suspect he has saved that amount in just material costs.  I really do not expect he would want to live in a 400k home without her so do not see protecting 'rights' as a major factor.  

[Pik]

Usufruct contract in Thailand and a good lawyer is good protection for life,

As long as You Live FarFarAway from her family and her village.  

 

[amykat]

I think everyone here has missed an important point (especially the usufruct/mortgage crew):

 

This woman (or her parents) already OWNS the land.

 

Let's recap a few other things ...she is employed and they have been together 7 years. She isn't a leech.  I got the impression she is asking for a gift of a house for her family to live in who seem to be living very poorly.

 

Now if your b/f attempts to turn this gift into a his own house, demands that he gets a lifetime right to live there, and also that you owe him the money he paid for it (at any time that he feels like making you pay for it), and also lives in it, while acting like King of the Castle, who is getting exploited here?  I see this as he just got some free land.  Then built his own house which he will live in with his g/f like he does right now, rent free, and she will be at his mercy, much more than she is right now ...and you will all say "he bought her a house"

 

Her family will still be living in whatever shack they are currently living in.

 

I wonder why this won't work out well???

[olebare]

OP it could be she no longer feels the same way about you.

 

it happened to me,

 

the ex never asked for a penny until her feelings started to change, then it was time to get some $$

[how241]

If it really won't hurt you financially to lose this house money,  then take a chance ... Good Luck !

[thaibeachlovers]

The relationship is always all right till it's not, and the fastest way to end a relationship, in my unhappy experience is to be anywhere near the family. You will not control access to the house, and if you complain you become the bad guy.

 

Ask yourself one question. Can you afford to build it and walk away if the relationship goes sour? If yes, go ahead, if no, don't.

Forget about the legal side- if it goes bad you won't want to live there and you won't get your money back.

I had the greatest Thai girl I ever met for a wife, but her family killed it and I had to walk away from far more than what you are talking about.

Don't think it's just the house either. Washing machines, refrigerators, tvs, etc etc etc have to be bought as well. You might even want AC and that isn't cheap. Try taking an AC with you!

[Pik]

Just look around how many farangs built the house in the village/area and ask where is he now., 

If you have money to burn, donate to orphanage in Thailand

No One will be laughing at You

[thaibeachlovers]

10 minutes ago, amykat said:

I think everyone here has missed an important point (especially the usufruct/mortgage crew):

 

This woman (or her parents) already OWNS the land.

 

Let's recap a few other things ...she is employed and they have been together 7 years. She isn't a leech.  I got the impression she is asking for a gift of a house for her family to live in who seem to be living very poorly.

 

Now if your b/f attempts to turn this gift into a his own house, demands that he gets a lifetime right to live there, and also that you owe him the money he paid for it (at any time that he feels like making you pay for it), and also lives in it, while acting like King of the Castle, who is getting exploited here?  I see this as he just got some free land.  Then built his own house which he will live in with his g/f like he does right now, rent free, and she will be at his mercy, much more than she is right now ...and you will all say "he bought her a house"

 

Her family will still be living in whatever shack they are currently living in.

 

I wonder why this won't work out well???

Are you living with/ married to a Thai? Have you bought a Thai lady a house? Do the family live nearby?

If not, I doubt you understand what is at risk.

BTW, he's not married to her, and her family are not his responsibility. The land will never be his, so how can he get free land?

Do you not understand that once the house has been built, he is at HER mercy. Unless he dreamt that one day he could move to Thailand and spend his money helping a poor Thai family to own a house there is no obligation on his part to do so.

 

Of course she wants something out of the relationship. The point is if he will continue to get what he wants if he does what she wants.

In my experience, gratitude isn't something that lasts long, especially where money is concerned.

[DoctorG]

Why don't you see if you can rent a really good house in her village and see how that works out for a year.

[dundas]

Another poster made the point about you're doing it for love, she's doing it for her family.

 

Well, I've done it for my partner, and I know from experience the truth of the love/family thing.  It's as if the sacrifices I made to buy that property are forgotten. 

 

I'm very fortunate because my partner and I also share a business which is a great reason for keeping the relationship alive, and in the short to medium term, I'm not worried about the house, which I stay in whenever I'm in Thailand -- but it's also true that apart from staying in the house, I don't have the use of that money, and that's had a considerable impact on my life. 

 

If I had my choice over, I'd do what another poster suggested and buy a decent condo in my name. If the relationship fails after that, what I own is what I own, I can sell it if needs be, and if I own it when I die, what happens to it is according to what's in my will. 

 

Or even better, I'd buy nothing in Thailand at all. If my partner was that keen, I'd let them borrow from the bank and I would contribute to the repayments as part of my living expenses for as long as the relationship lasted. It's a way of keeping a measure of financial equity in the relationship. As farang cannot really own a house in Thailand, if you don't have on-going financial equity (i.e.,  a financial reason for the other party to stay in the relationship), you're either very fortunate (and have found true love and I know that happens), or you're at high risk of losing all your money. 

I'd agree with what the previous poster (Pik) said about usufruct. Sounds a whole lot more plausible than it might turn out to be. Once again, there's more luck/good management than there is the protection of law in how this might work out. 

i'd also agree with the posters who say that building costs tend to rise way beyond the initial quote. A farang friend who managed to build a wonderful house said to me "In Thailand, signing the building contract is only the start of the negotiations...." That's likely to be even more the case if the builder can smell farang in the air - in fairness, there are decent Thai builders around, and price gouging of farang doesn't happen in every build but it's still a risk to be reckoned with. 

 

Don't rush in, in other words. 

 

Edited October 18, 2016 by dundas

[louse1953]

On 10/15/2016 at 4:39 PM, scorecard said:

 

"... all the family relatives are going to be there."

 

On this point I hope your aware that in many cases extended family just turn up;  they don't ask first, they don't wait for an invitation, and long-stay / permanent stay could be part of the story. Turning them away is pretty much impossible, and demanding that your wife /gf tell them to leave won't work, she will never do that. 

 

They often expect that they can just walk in and dump boxes of fruit and whatever everywhere including stacked all over the living room and kitchen furniture etc., and make the yard a total ugly mess, they often have no hesitation to move the TV without asking, and turn up the volume to very loud, change the channel without asking from your CNN show to a Thai joker show, etc. And they will expect food and drink to be laid on.

 

All part of traditional Thai family stuff and it's not going to change quickly.   
 

Just because that is your personal situation,don't think the rest of us let family walk all over us and treat us as fools.

[Deepinthailand]

59 minutes ago, wow64 said:

 

Not many companies in Thailand are paying 9000b per month.. but lets say she is working for a company now that pays that.. Better she wait 3.6 years at least then she paid or this guy got out of paying. 

 

 

There are many paying only 9000. So you rekons paying her bills over 3.6 years won't come to more than the origional 400000bht.

[louse1953]

30 minutes ago, Pik said:

Usufruct contract in Thailand and a good lawyer is good protection for life,

As long as You Live FarFarAway from her family and her village.  

 

I find family a bonus as they take care of dogs,chooks and garden while i travel.

[thaibeachlovers]

42 minutes ago, lopburi3 said:

Poster says they have been together almost eight years and he has not provided any such material support in the past but she has saved him a fortune by obtaining lower prices - so there is no reason to suspect this is anything more than a desire to be able to survive and help family in the event of the elders departure after devoting her life to his support.  In the worst case of a total loss of the 400k it would amount to about 130 per day of the relationship and suspect he has saved that amount in just material costs.  I really do not expect he would want to live in a 400k home without her so do not see protecting 'rights' as a major factor.  

 

I'm sure he pays the living costs, as most of us do.

If he loves her and wants to help her when he passes away he can make a will. If I'd done that and not given her a lot of money along the way I'd be a much wealthier man today. As it is I am sans money and wife- worst of both worlds.

[Gecko123]

I don't get the sense that the OP has the faintest clue how hard it is to stay in a small Thai village after you break up with your girlfriend. First of all, you'd better have some outstanding fluency in the Thai language. You also better have very low social needs, and enjoy your own company. Yes, it's possible to make friends with a few of your neighbors, teach at the local school, maybe play football in the evening, kibitz with the local vendors, yuck it up with your barber, pretend to be fascinated with cock fighting, buy everyone rounds of lao khaow down at the local noodle shop in a desperate bid to be accepted, learn the art of motorcycle maintenance down at the local repair shop, join in at harvest time, become an avid gardener, read a lot, be a keyboard warrior, study Thai cooking, etc.

 

But one thing that's pretty tough to do after you break up with your girlfriend is to start a new romantic relationship in the same town as your girlfriend's town. Unless your girlfriend is unbelievably understanding and your breakup is unbelievably amicable, you're going to be a social leper in her town. People will be mystified why you are still there. If your girlfriend wants to drive you out of town, all she has to do is tell everybody in town that if they hook up with you, she'll come after them with a pomelo knife. All the women in town, (and that's assuming there are any you're interested in and who are interested in you, because in some small towns the pickings can be depressingly bleak), will avoid you like the plague. If that doesn't work, all your ex-girlfriend has to do is tell everybody in town you have a tiny penis, are the cheapest blankety-blank who ever landed in Suwanaphumi Airport, are dying of AIDS, or have some really, really (it's too embarrassing to talk about) weird sexual hangups. And if that doesn't do the trick, joking about hiring her cousin from Mukdahan to kill you will get you packing your bags and hoofing it to the bus station soon enough.

 

As far as thinking about building a house on the family land and hoping to continue living there after you break up with your girlfriend, that's the equivalent of building a yurt in the backyard of your girlfriend's parent's house in the West, and expecting to continue living there after you split up with their daughter. It breaks every village social convention in the book and it ain't gonna happen in a million years. The OP needs to find a place to build where he has a high degree of confidence that he wants to continue living there even in the event of a breakup, AND where he has a high degree of confidence that he can build a new social life post break-up as well.

 

Edited October 18, 2016 by Gecko123

[little mary sunshine]

Only buy a condo in your name.  Tell her after you have been

together for 25 years you will give it to her, she can sell it

and than build a house with the money.  You're crazy to do

anything else.

[performance]

They all want and you also want. Question is are you going to stay with her ?

If so ok buy and also get the lawyer to make a 30 year lease contract on the land :) in your name. This is standard protocol amongst lawyers. The house keep receipts in your name. You can own the dwelling :)

Answer to your question  buy house but play safe. Married is 50 50 spilt

[thaibeachlovers]

41 minutes ago, Pik said:

Usufruct contract in Thailand and a good lawyer is good protection for life,

As long as You Live FarFarAway from her family and her village.  

 

As long as he lives far, far, far, far away from the family, and lives in a one bedroom house that they can't stay in.

 

I don't have much to look forward to in life without the once beloved, but I can enjoy not having the ratbag nephew turning up to stay when ever he feels like and disrupting my life. THAT is worth a lot.

[Satcommlee]

You should enquire as to what sort of land it is..

 

The Land may not have a chanote (or other worthy land title deed) and registered to someone in the family due to making small annual tax payments at the local Tambon. This sort of land can only be transferred between family members - this is very common practice in Thailand.

 

So there may not be any opportunity to have any right or title on the property, including 30 day leases and usufructs.

 

Its only 400'000 - you've got off lightly

 

 

[speckio]

just do a 30 year lease on the land.

[speckio]

if you have been together for 7 years i think its reasonable for you to build her a house she is in it for the long haul. and chances are if she kicks you out... more than likely you did something wrong and deserved it.

 

Also ask yourself why you arent married yet after 7 years? If you don't see  future with this women tell her no on the the house building.

 

Edited October 18, 2016 by speckio

[louse1953]

On 10/15/2016 at 4:45 PM, Phatbeets said:

I believe they typically ask for that as a kind of insurance in case the relationship breaks up so that they don't end up with nothing.

 

Same same with my wife after 8 years of marriage in Europe. Imo its understandable and justifiable.

 

+ Most Issan girls dream about returning in their village in their old days

 

I was wondering if it would be possible to get an agreement with a letter of renunciation related to marriage assets and savings?

Means you buy her a house ONLY IF she agrees that she wont claim anything else in case of a divorce.

 

I have no marriage settlement . Luckily my relations is in a very good shape but you never know what the future brings...

Gee,a lot of selfish bastards on this forum.It is all about i want it all back if it goes tits up.Never mind what the wife put into it besides money.

[lostinisaan]

On 10/15/2016 at 3:55 PM, Dipterocarp said:

Buy yourself a trip to Las Vegas and put $10,000 in the slots instead. Better odds.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

 

 

 Better intro a slot than a slut? 

 

  A 7-year holiday relationship where she could always manage to be off when you arrived?

 

      OP, you didn't really understand what she really wants. I don't think that she'd like to live with you in a house.

 

   Maybe  with her Thai partner? How much do you know about the woman who gives you free clothes? 

Edited October 18, 2016 by lostinisaan

[louse1953]

On 10/15/2016 at 5:58 PM, Mekong Thunder said:

"my gf want me to buy her a house."

 

When was the last time somebody bought you a house?

My parents a few years ago.

[catman20]

On 10/15/2016 at 1:50 PM, lopburi3 said:

After a 7 year relationship payback of 400k for her and her family might not be that great a personal loss even if worst came to past.  If she is only asking for that amount do not believe you are really being taken advantage of.  

i agree with you 100% 1. it will properly end up costing you more. 2. you wont want to stay there long term so wouldn't worry about that. she sounds like a nice girl go for it you will get a lot of pleasure seeing her little face light up when you say you will do it. GO FOR IT.

[catman20]

3 minutes ago, louse1953 said:

Gee,a lot of selfish bastards on this forum.It is all about i want it all back if it goes tits up.Never mind what the wife put into it besides money.

I AGREE WITH YOU MATE.