Move back after decades away from Thailand

[chicowoodduck]

By all means come back to Thailand, hopefully you will land in Suvarnabhumi Airport and can find your brain in Lost and Found and return home....??????

[Deepinthailand]

2 hours ago, smokie36 said:

This reads like a tin of Spam.

Old spam at that

[Kwasaki]

39 minutes ago, abrahamzvi said:

Nothing of what you are afraid of has happened to us,

 

What am l afraid of. ? 

 

Married nearly 13 years have hobbies, me OK thanks. 

[lungnorm]

1 hour ago, abrahamzvi said:

This is a lot of nonsense. It may have happened to you, but you can't apply your own experience to other Thai women.

So you think huh. I would not have posted it if I was not sure of my facts. My ex had hundreds of Thai friends in Australia they all used to confess their problems to her. I heard this scenario over and over again so many times and it convinced me it was the norm. May sound like rubbish to you maybe because you have led a sheltered life and know nothing of real life. You should get out and mix a bit maybe open your eyes.

[Global Guy]

1) Her spending more time with family? Definitely.

2) The family pushing her to get money from you for them? A very high chance of yes, that happening.

3) You finding a younger, thinner, prettier girl on the side? A good chance of you going down that road, but not as high a chance as #2 happening. Is that opportunity here? Of course.

4) You getting scammed by this new, young girl? Did it happen with your wife?

 

I think a lot depends on what your income is in the US compared to what it will be here. Girls that gravitate to the US tend to like it because there is more money to be made and therefore expect the guy to make/have more money.

 

I lived in an Asian area of L.A. for nine years (not far from Thai Town) and the Asian women there were almost completely different than Asian women in Asia. In the US, they were Asian only by genetics, not culture. These girls were American in almost every way. It was mostly like dating an American girl who wasn't Caucasian.

 

Of course if they were born there then they are American by birth too, but you get my point. They liked the US because you can have more stuff. Nicer car, house, clothes, etc. So if you're going to take a standard of living cut in Thailand (I don't know if you are, but if so) then that is something to consider because of the whole "face" thing here. She probably has been telling her family how great her life is in the US so she might expect that same level in Thailand. Yes, it's cheaper in Thailand but if one's income is much less too, it might be a wash, or worse.

 

Just my two cents...it may or may not apply to your situation.

 

Good luck!

 

[Squeegee]

1 hour ago, lungnorm said:

I would not have posted it if I was not sure of my facts. My ex had hundreds of Thai friends in Australia they all used to confess their problems to her.

 

Although there may be some truth in some Asian women turning a blind eye to their husband's infidelities, your gross generalization about it being customary for Thai women is nothing but just that... a gross generalization.

 

Faith in your words about what is a custom for Thai women is further undermined by yourself with your own hyperbole. You have literally claimed that there are at least 200 ("hundreds") Thais in Australia who are "all" confessing their problems to your wife.

 

I wonder, with such a lifestyle to be listening to the problems of at least TWO HUNDRED people in Australia, how your amazing wife finds time to breathe and put the cat out.

 

 

So maybe your wife could make a fortune charging for this clearly much-needed service by people who - according to you - "all" keep a custom and then complain to your wife about it.

 

 

 

 

What you say has truth in it, but generalizations and hyperbole remove a lot of that truth and tend to replace it with silliness.

[Khon Kaen Dave]

Decades away,coming back?

Some of it hasn't changed.

Some of it has changed a bit

Some of it,you wont even recognise.

[KOZMO]

First, it has been 30 years and Thailand has changed allot and not for the better!!! The place is full of drug addicts, scam artists

and you will find out that compared to 30 years ago, now you are a 3rd class citizen !!! Prices are a far cry higher than 30 years ago.

You will be surprised at all the Idiots driving on the streets here with and without licenses. Sure there are plenty of young things but

the Price has definitely gone up !!! There are allot of Dirtbag backpackers looking for free handouts and you might be just what they

need moneywise. also the open robberies and in home robberies has gone up. Every year Immigration is changing the rules so be prepared to start jumping thru the hoops !!! There are so many Muslims, Blacks and other types of people who would just as soon

kill you as look at you. Lots of new Condos, Townhouses, and Homes in general, but be warned the newer it is is not the better it is !!

Too many shortcuts and cost saving methods put money into the builders and sellers pocket, while you may have a Condo that has all scrapwood and left over pieces inside your walls. Your new Sweet thing might have her "boyfriends waiting for you at her home too !!

So your wife put on some weight and now after putting up with you for 30 years you are ready for a newer model??? I'm sure your wife knows the ins and outs of Divorce very well from living in America. She also has the advantage here in Thailand to wring you thru the dryer or worst yet have someone knock you off !! Best ides is visiting here and seeing what has become of the LAND OF SMILES !!!

You will definitely be in for a SHOCK !!! 

 

[lungnorm]

1 hour ago, Squeegee said:

 

Although there may be some truth in some Asian women turning a blind eye to their husband's infidelities, your gross generalization about it being customary for Thai women is nothing but just that... a gross generalization.

 

Faith in your words about what is a custom for Thai women is further undermined by yourself with your own hyperbole. You have literally claimed that there are at least 200 ("hundreds") Thais in Australia who are "all" confessing their problems to your wife.

 

I wonder, with such a lifestyle to be listening to the problems of at least TWO HUNDRED people in Australia, how your amazing wife finds time to breathe and put the cat out.

 

 

So maybe your wife could make a fortune charging for this clearly much-needed service by people who - according to you - "all" keep a custom and then complain to your wife about it.

 

 

 

 

What you say has truth in it, but generalizations and hyperbole remove a lot of that truth and tend to replace it with silliness.

She works in a larger type hospital and although she is only a cleaner her vast network of Thai friends come to her to try and gain employment. So much is she respected at work the H.R dept always contact her first when a new employee is required. At last count she had secured employment for over 60 Thai friends. You obviously cannot envision someone with soooo many friends. I have no reason to lie about this so its not hyperbole.

[Stevemercer]

If your wife says she is happy for you to see other women, and actually means it, then she probably has someone on the side too. It makes it easier to justify on both sides.

 

Thai women are typically very jealous. They may say it is OK, but it rarely is. The rules seem to be:

• Be discreet
• Do not fall in love
• Always use a condom
• Do not give the other girl gifts or money (beyond what you need to pay for sex)
• Do not cause your wife to loose face (e.g. because her friends know what is happening and gossip behind her back)

The last two are by far the most important

[sirineou]

After 30 years of marriage and a few kids you value your wife's looks more than anything else?

If so I would say you don't have much of a marriage and much to worry about. If you have a solid relationship based on  the life you have shared you have nothing to fear.

You say she does not have the body of when you married her. Do you?

 

[ThaisGood]

5 hours ago, sirineou said:

After 30 years of marriage and a few kids you value your wife's looks more than anything else?

If so I would say you don't have much of a marriage and much to worry about. If you have a solid relationship based on  the life you have shared you have nothing to fear.

You say she does not have the body of when you married her. Do you?

 

 

Hello and thanks to all who responded.  I appreciate all of the feedback.  Regarding above comment from sirineou it's funny because when I left Thailand I was about 20 lbs heavier than I am now.  I ate a lot of delicious food back in those days and came home looking fat even in my early 20s.  Bloated face and my waist was 4 inches bigger than it is today. I trimmed it all down via healthy diet.  My wife seems to eat healthy food but piles in the snacks for some reason (like potato chips, Doritos, etc) so she just keeps getting fatter and never tries to look good.  I still love her, we came a long way together.  A few years ago I tried to convince her to slim down, but she will not.  She doesn't like to go outside and get exercise either.  She has nice natural looks though and is very caring.  You take the good with the bad.

 

Early on I made good money in one job, then started my own company and that thrived for the first 10 years or so.  I focused on the kids more than the business, which ran along fine and paid all of our bills, I have nothing to regret.  Two kids are considered elite athletes, I can't tell you how many hours it took to support their athletics.  They are also scholars with excellent grades and involved in sciences at the university level now. 

 

However there were some really great opportunities that came along and I just ignored them to my peril.  I realize hindsight is 20/20.  Business sucks now but we make money.  Over the last 4 -5 years, I've tried new ideas and they've failed failed failed.  The core business is still ok.  Every one of my new ideas just fails.  That has taken it's toll on my confidence.

 

We've raised our family in one nice community and I've seen in recent years marriage after marriage lead to divorce.  I am talking about 20 year marriages collapsing all around.  More common that old friends are divorced, than not.  I really don't want my marriage to end. 

 

Against this backdrop I have a desire to make a huge change, move the he!! out of this cold climate and enjoy life elsewhere. Pursue a new career.  As others suggested I need to get my wife and see what it's like to be in Thailand for a few months.  Let's try first.  I love motorcycles and adventure.  Thailand is just a great place to stay for that.  I just worry that moving there will end up as a another one of my mistakes, for the reasons I've mentioned.   She would forgive me to a certain extent, for misdeeds, not rubbing it in her face of course.  I probably have a lack of control when it comes to sexy young women.  My weakness. 

 

When her bother got married she handed over 100,000 baht to them and I think that set a precedent that she's always going to have loads of cash for them.  She goes to visit her mom and leaves 50,000 baht with her every time.  Then recently, at a time when our kids are in college and we are having to pay huge sums for that, she's been passing them $500+ per month for one reason or another.  I can't stand it but for now it's not that big of a problem.  One of her aunts is a fortune teller and let's be honest that's more like a mental illness. That fortune teller is always interjecting things.  Staying out of Thailand avoids most of these issues.  

 

One of our sons studies in a nice city with a better climate.  My wife seems to want to relocate there rather than Thailand.  Other people like Mexico, thanks to the online community you can get loads of information about wonderful places there.  Still, I think there is no place like Thailand...  

 

Well, thanks for the feedback.  I think we can make a successful Thailand relocation.  I loved living there and especially the group of farang friends I had.  Better friendships than I've had here, by far.  

[Squeegee]

8 hours ago, lungnorm said:

She works in a larger type hospital and although she is only a cleaner her vast network of Thai friends come to her to try and gain employment. So much is she respected at work the H.R dept always contact her first when a new employee is required. At last count she had secured employment for over 60 Thai friends. You obviously cannot envision someone with soooo many friends. I have no reason to lie about this so its not hyperbole.

 

I could not envision it, but I can now.

 

Your specifying brings a lot more to the thread than your generalizing, though I suspect for every Thai lady looking the other way, maybe there's one with a rovin' eye if the spice is right, and maybe a couple of others who'd scream-the-place-down or cut-your-balls-off, other common varieties of Thai lady.

[sirineou]

31 minutes ago, ThaisGood said:

 

Hello and thanks to all who responded.  I appreciate all of the feedback.  Regarding above comment from sirineou it's funny because when I left Thailand I was about 20 lbs heavier than I am now.  I ate a lot of delicious food back in those days and came home looking fat even in my early 20s.  Bloated face and my waist was 4 inches bigger than it is today. I trimmed it all down via healthy diet.  My wife seems to eat healthy food but piles in the snacks for some reason (like potato chips, Doritos, etc) so she just keeps getting fatter and never tries to look good.  I still love her, we came a long way together.  A few years ago I tried to convince her to slim down, but she will not.  She doesn't like to go outside and get exercise either.  She has nice natural looks though and is very caring.  You take the good with the bad.

 

Early on I made good money in one job, then started my own company and that thrived for the first 10 years or so.  I focused on the kids more than the business, which ran along fine and paid all of our bills, I have nothing to regret.  Two kids are considered elite athletes, I can't tell you how many hours it took to support their athletics.  They are also scholars with excellent grades and involved in sciences at the university level now. 

 

However there were some really great opportunities that came along and I just ignored them to my peril.  I realize hindsight is 20/20.  Business sucks now but we make money.  Over the last 4 -5 years, I've tried new ideas and they've failed failed failed.  The core business is still ok.  Every one of my new ideas just fails.  That has taken it's toll on my confidence.

 

We've raised our family in one nice community and I've seen in recent years marriage after marriage lead to divorce.  I am talking about 20 year marriages collapsing all around.  More common that old friends are divorced, than not.  I really don't want my marriage to end. 

 

Against this backdrop I have a desire to make a huge change, move the he!! out of this cold climate and enjoy life elsewhere. Pursue a new career.  As others suggested I need to get my wife and see what it's like to be in Thailand for a few months.  Let's try first.  I love motorcycles and adventure.  Thailand is just a great place to stay for that.  I just worry that moving there will end up as a another one of my mistakes, for the reasons I've mentioned.   She would forgive me to a certain extent, for misdeeds, not rubbing it in her face of course.  I probably have a lack of control when it comes to sexy young women.  My weakness. 

 

When her bother got married she handed over 100,000 baht to them and I think that set a precedent that she's always going to have loads of cash for them.  She goes to visit her mom and leaves 50,000 baht with her every time.  Then recently, at a time when our kids are in college and we are having to pay huge sums for that, she's been passing them $500+ per month for one reason or another.  I can't stand it but for now it's not that big of a problem.  One of her aunts is a fortune teller and let's be honest that's more like a mental illness. That fortune teller is always interjecting things.  Staying out of Thailand avoids most of these issues.  

 

One of our sons studies in a nice city with a better climate.  My wife seems to want to relocate there rather than Thailand.  Other people like Mexico, thanks to the online community you can get loads of information about wonderful places there.  Still, I think there is no place like Thailand...  

 

Well, thanks for the feedback.  I think we can make a successful Thailand relocation.  I loved living there and especially the group of farang friends I had.  Better friendships than I've had here, by far.  

 I love Thailand also , I have a couple of years until I retire, and then I will be there full time also, but don't burn bridges , live your self a way back in case things are not to your liking and you want to come back.

Also be careful with all the female temptation, at the very least be discreet.

Remember a sweet piece of ass quickly becomes just another piece of ass , and you dont want to lose all you have worked so long for, and invested in your relationship with your wife.

what you have with her is irreplaceable. 

Good Luck

[Sharp]

Life's about trying to be happy so go for it man if you ain't happy...

Sent from my SM-P555 using Thaivisa Connect mobile app

[geronimo]

Go for it!

[chrisinth]

OP, sounds to me that you are going through a mid-life crisis at the minute. Like your ego is saying you are too good for your current wife and want to try a younger model.

 

When was the last time you were here for a holiday and how did that go for you? IMO, in your case, better to test the water before jumping straight in........................

[maximillian]

On 24.11.2559 at 5:36 AM, dbrenn said:

It sounds like the OP is bored with his wife, and is going back to Thailand with the intention of finding a new girlfriend.

 

Understandable.

[JerryinTH]

I feel sorry for your wife and kids but you can't have it all. Suck it up and be a man and be there for your family or let your pecker take over and watch your life fall apart. 

[jayboy]

On 24/11/2016 at 8:40 AM, catman20 said:

sounds to me like the wife's a fat old porker  and the OP wants, needs a bit more of what he once had in the wife. dont blame him you only live once. ENJOY 

 

 

I am sure that he (and you) are veritable Apollos.Your kind of boorish unpleasantness is not generally associated with class, education or material success.

[llso]

On 11/23/2016 at 8:14 PM, ThaisGood said:

Yes. Thank you all above for responding. 

 

To be specific my wife, who kept her Thai sense of humor (she had always been a good joker like her father was), came here and had three kids so I understand the weight issues.  She is a good 40 lbs heavier and it's not a pretty sight with the big mid section, but after all she and I came a long way. Actually our marriage is 22 years.  We could move south to a better climate here. I am just needing a change, recognize the so-called midlife crisis.  I guess it's hitting me.  I can't stand these winters, and I no longer need to be stuck here. 

 

We both worked hard on the finances.  She was never a money waster (Thai/Chinese).  But her weakness seems to be superstitions. I am like many of you here maybe, Thai wife has a superstitious explanation for everything.  She gets talked into anything on her trips back to stay with her mom. It's always fortune tellers, monk asks to sponsor a cow to stay alive, etc. Her brothers are pretty useless too. So I'd say this is her weakness, she could get hit up hard for money in Thailand.  I can almost sense she's afraid of it too 

 

As for me, I got involved with sports for our two boys. I really became somewhat of a health nut. Not overweight at all.  And let's face it, as men we do stupid things for beautiful women, and I find Thai to be just gorgeous. Here, I haven't a chance to have a relationship with a sexy Thai lady 20 years younger. Not a chance! It's almost funny to think about it.  No way.  I am basically 90% sure if I move there, I'll end up with something on the side. 

 

Edited November 26, 2016 by llso
hit wrong button

[llso]

5 minutes ago, llso said:

 

 

5 minutes ago, llso said:

 I'm 99.9% sure you will end up with something on the side. I lived in Thailand for 7 years and seen everything and done everything. One story I like to tell is when I lived in Hua Hin there was an American Engineer that came to town to work on a plant. He found our little Farang expat bar and saw that everyone had Thai wives and children.  We told him be careful you will end up with a Thai wife. He told us no way because he didn't like Asian women at all and he would never have one. He came in about a month later and said" I met this most amazing girl!" I'm getting married in a month . I am so in love. We all burst out laughing and nearly pissed ourselves.

 

[catman20]

27 minutes ago, jayboy said:

 

 

I am sure that he (and you) are veritable Apollos.Your kind of boorish unpleasantness is not generally associated with class, education or material success.

really!!!!!!!! if only you knew i have more material success than you could ever dream of, chump

[Thaiwrath]

I imagine you are not the 'shapely' one she married either.

[jayboy]

really!!!!!!!! if only you knew:cheesy: i have more material success than you could ever dream of, chump

Your unlettered response simply confirms the supposition.