Aggressive partners in Thailand

[DrTuner]

Women are crying for equality so I guess a good roundhouse is completely PC.

[elgordo38]

On 12/12/2016 at 9:00 AM, richard_smith237 said:

I'm not proud I slapped her across the face, but, when she made the choice to hit me and come at me with a knife she also made the choice to create a violent situation.

Were there no warning signs during the courtship part of your relationship. There are always little signals that her behavior should throw off. I always watched for them when starting a new relationship.

[Khon Kaen Dave]

I also had this at the hands of an English wife.She was violent and dangerous.To my girls and me.She was terribly aggressive after drinking.In the end,i divorced her and got sole custody, care ,and control of my daughter(6years old) The judge also deemed it fit to have her name removed from our mortgage(which can be done)She had no visitation rights,and a few years later she was in court for negligence of her two children by her husband.Her life ended miserably at 37 when her husband killed her.This isnt bull shit.It went national,in all the newspaper's at the time.Also it is Googlable.

My point is,that i wouldnt have it at home,why would i have it here.Luckily enough i have not experienced it with any of the Thai girls over the 16 years of being here. I am lucky to have been married to an issan girl, for 5 years now,with no  problems in that direction When i had my bar,in Patts i would hear terrible stories about this,i never understood why the guys put up with it.I do think that when a felang takes on a Thai girl,he takes on a woman with a childs brain.

[elgordo38]

1 minute ago, Khon Kaen Dave said:

when a felang takes on a Thai girl,he takes on a woman with a childs brain.

I can understand why your wife has not been a problem if this is your thinking. 

[scorecard]

Why do you just mention females?

[sanemax]

22 minutes ago, dotpoom said:

Am I getting this right?....The way to show somebody how horrible violence is.......is to whack them in the face with a mighty blow...interesting theory.

   Some people might just walk away or seek help for the person they supposedly "love" through councilling.

 

She has a child like mentality and she needed to be taught about boundaries , things which she can and cannot do

    Its a bit like a school bully . You can ask them to stop picking on you , but they wont stop .

   The only way that they will stop will be if they know that they will be getting something coming back their way if they persist 

[scorecard]

10 minutes ago, Khon Kaen Dave said:

I also had this at the hands of an English wife.She was violent and dangerous.To my girls and me.She was terribly aggressive after drinking.In the end,i divorced her and got sole custody, care ,and control of my daughter(6years old) The judge also deemed it fit to have her name removed from our mortgage(which can be done)She had no visitation rights,and a few years later she was in court for negligence of her two children by her husband.Her life ended miserably at 37 when her husband killed her.This isnt bull shit.It went national,in all the newspaper's at the time.Also it is Googlable.

My point is,that i wouldnt have it at home,why would i have it here.Luckily enough i have not experienced it with any of the Thai girls over the 16 years of being here. I am lucky to have been married to an issan girl, for 5 years now,with no  problems in that direction When i had my bar,in Patts i would hear terrible stories about this,i never understood why the guys put up with it.I do think that when a felang takes on a Thai girl,he takes on a woman with a childs brain.

 

 

And there are plenty of violent farang and Thai men in any country.

 

Many years ago a neighbor had an English guy rent his house on Jomtien. The English renter had a Thai wife and 2 little kids with the same lady.

 

He regularly brought home 1 to 3 bar girls and they had sex in front of the actual wife and little kids at the insistence of the farang renter.

 

If the actual wife cried the farang would punch her in the face. The English guy ended up in Jail and was then deported on blacklist. 

[Khon Kaen Dave]

elgordo38

Oh foolish poster.What do you mean,my thinking,What thinking? I stated an event which was a bad time in my life,i hope you never have to have anything like it.I have never had a problem with my thai wife,because she is a good woman.I have seen her lose it with her erstwhile daughter,when the girl takes the piss,and believe me you wouldnt want her knocking on your front door.You silly man,you cannot comment on something of which you know so little about.If you are insinuating that my wife is scared of me,you have no idea about isaan girls.Now,go away and come back when you have grown up and have learned more about women because you are obviously very young,green or just plain gobby and stupid.I have to go because i have something to do,more interesting than conversing with you.I have to watch my kitchen door paint drying.

god save me from idiots and know nothing fools.

 

[Andster 68]

If a woman raises her hands to you in any other fashion than play.  Leave her.  Don't even think about staying.  She will never change, ever.  If she made you hit her as the original OP suggests then that is just lowering you to that level of behavior.  When you meet someone new you must explain that you will not put up with this and if it happens you re off.  It's up to them then.

 

I had a bad marriage, she was violent in exactly the same way as described by the OP, I thought I could change the situation.  But I'm afraid changing someone's use of violence to solve conflict is not possible.

 

Just leave and let her take her angst out on someone else.

 

Good luck.  It takes a lot of guts to actually leave.  We always tend to blame ourselves, even when it's not us.  Be strong and go, you wont regret it.

[Khon Kaen Dave]

scorecard

I do agree with you.This type of behaviour can come from both men and women.i am not condemning women per Se.I have known many violent men who think it is their god given right to "give the old woman a right hander,to keep her in line" and i have known men to be secret victims to womens violence. I was just stating what happened to me.It seems to me that when a poster opens up to others to tell of a bad time in their lives,there is always some glib,smart bastard who likes to take the piss,and make some stupid,childish remark.At least i told the truth,and i barethe scars to prove it.I think that i saved my daughter from a lot of pain at the hands of this woman.

People can think what they like,but i truly hope that they never have to go through it.Life with a mad woman is no life.

[freebyrd]

Quite simply, after a couple of aggressive acts I would be on my way. Who wants to be in a relationship with a ticking time bomb? - even if she's now changed her ways - hmmm...... to that.

Edited December 14, 2016 by freebyrd

[sanemax]

20 minutes ago, scorecard said:

 

 

And there are plenty of violent farang and Thai men in any country.

 

 

 

   I do not think that theres any need to differentiate between Males and Females and Thais and felangs .

   Its just an act of violence and aggression from one person to the other .

Their gender and nationality is irrelevant 

[F4UCorsair]

On Monday, December 12, 2016 at 8:46 AM, bannork said:

Gotta love the second line of the OP - 'throwing things at me, coming at me with knives , things got worse and worse '

5555

 

 

How much f****** worse can things get??

I can't Imagine being In a relationship where both parties have resorted to violence.  I'd have walked away on the very firdst occasion.  There must always be asense of embarrassment and humiliation between them.

[chickenslegs]

21 minutes ago, freebyrd said:

Quite simply, after a couple of aggressive acts I would be on my way. Who wants to be in a relationship with a ticking time bomb? - even if she's now changed her ways - hmmm...... to that.

 

This^

 

I doubt that a punch in the face will change a person's character. If I was the OP I would be out of there, sharpish... or at least sleeping with one eye open.

[maximillian]

3 hours ago, Peterw42 said:

 

 

 

It could have something to do with the nutters are always the best sex.

 

So true.

[Andster 68]

11 minutes ago, sanemax said:

 

   I do not think that theres any need to differentiate between Males and Females and Thais and felangs .

   Its just an act of violence and aggression from one person to the other .

Their gender and nationality is irrelevant 

 

I'm afraid I have to disagree,

 

When I was victim of violence from a Thai woman she would often state that "This is Thailand, you are a Farang, I will call the police on you etc".

 

She clearly had a preconceived notion that a Farang man possibly retaliating to violence from a Thai woman could only bode badly for him.  And she was probably right.

 

This preconceived idea of the consequences clearly gave her the incentive to be as violent as she liked during arguments.  She had the country and the law on her side.

 

I can't imagine that she would be the only Thai woman with Farang husband /boyfriend thinking like this.  When the violence starts its a true indicator of these notions.

 

So you must walk away and find someone who doesn't think or behave in this way. For your own safety and theirs.

 

As a very good friend of mine likes to say, it's not easy.  It takes a man to walk away

[Khon Kaen Dave]

Its very easy to say"just walk away" dont stand for it,divorce the bitch"and all the other advice that is given.Its not that easy when kids are involved.Any man that walks away from his kids when a lunatic wife is involved is just a coward.Yes,many men as well as women abuse their partners and children.But you have to stay with it for the sake of your children until a solution is found.There is also the man who,how ever badly treated can not stop loving his partner.Love is not like light switch,you just dont turn it on and off.lots of men will subject themselves to the highest form of violence before admitting there is a problem.Many posters have said " wouldnt stand for it,i'd be on my way,give her a slap" but different people have different situations.A woman who,throws things,destroys property, slaps and tries to stab her husband/ partner is clearly mentally impaired.Unfortunately there arent many battered wives/husbands places or centres in this country.And i think with the face thing,a Thai man would rather kill his wife than be thought of as a pussy,weakling,battered husband.At least in Europe we have places for such people.

[NoshowJones]

 "I know, not a pleasant topic, but it seems to be common in Thailand for females to be aggressive".

 

Certainly not in my experience, either with my wife or previous Thai relationships, or any of my friends Thai wives or girlfriends

I can honestly say that I have never come across or heard of any Thai woman being violent towards a partner.

[patrick1968]

i like to know why did you wait so long to give her the right hander ,,, wish you luck bro ...

[Mansell]

Have a friend here with a Thai girlfriend who is incredibly jealous etc. I walked into his hotel room with him and she went ballistic screaming and yelling. I said Walk away. Eventually he did and she kept calling on the phone, I said to him, "is this the first time? Because that would be it for me." Of course they are still together, because some men need this kind of drama. The other hotel guests were very unhappy with all the screaming. But like attracts like.

[Baerboxer]

1 hour ago, possum1931 said:

 "I know, not a pleasant topic, but it seems to be common in Thailand for females to be aggressive".

 

Certainly not in my experience, either with my wife or previous Thai relationships, or any of my friends Thai wives or girlfriends

I can honestly say that I have never come across or heard of any Thai woman being violent towards a partner.

 

I have met a few. In the UK saw a few like this. Usually ex-bar girls / sex workers, but not always. Many Thais, and I know we should never generalize, do seem to have short fuses, can't follow a logical argument, are driven by emotions that they can't express and release that frustration through violence. Sometimes the portrayals on Thai Soaps is not so far from reality - each fueling the other.

 

Once you a Thai, male or female, looses it, they can never back down, admit to be wrong or responsible for the argument and like everywhere have there different blow off levels. But once they do blow, male or female, many IME will then turn violent.

 

I know of one Thai lady who took her shoe off in the middle of Marks & Spencer's in the UK to hit her husband. I know one who now dates young men and threatens her much older husband with all sorts if he doesn't turn a blind eye. In both cases the husbands are fairly well off, decent blokes who put up with it for the sake of the kids. Their decision.

 

I saw a bad argument at a party in the UK. British husband (and host) was talking to a recently divorced Thai lady and offered her a lift home. Seemed to be a long while coming back. You could see his wife's temper getting worse and worse. Soon as he came back - up it went. 

 

Some seems an emotional reaction at the frustration of not being able to express the emotions in a controlled adult way. Others seem more cold and calculated almost bullying their spouses. 

 

But, that is the minority not the majority.

[NoshowJones]

46 minutes ago, Baerboxer said:

 

I have met a few. In the UK saw a few like this. Usually ex-bar girls / sex workers, but not always. Many Thais, and I know we should never generalize, do seem to have short fuses, can't follow a logical argument, are driven by emotions that they can't express and release that frustration through violence. Sometimes the portrayals on Thai Soaps is not so far from reality - each fueling the other.

 

Once you a Thai, male or female, looses it, they can never back down, admit to be wrong or responsible for the argument and like everywhere have there different blow off levels. But once they do blow, male or female, many IME will then turn violent.

 

I know of one Thai lady who took her shoe off in the middle of Marks & Spencer's in the UK to hit her husband. I know one who now dates young men and threatens her much older husband with all sorts if he doesn't turn a blind eye. In both cases the husbands are fairly well off, decent blokes who put up with it for the sake of the kids. Their decision.

 

I saw a bad argument at a party in the UK. British husband (and host) was talking to a recently divorced Thai lady and offered her a lift home. Seemed to be a long while coming back. You could see his wife's temper getting worse and worse. Soon as he came back - up it went. 

 

Some seems an emotional reaction at the frustration of not being able to express the emotions in a controlled adult way. Others seem more cold and calculated almost bullying their spouses. 

 

But, that is the minority not the majority.

Good post, your last sentence would sum it up.

[amjamj]

Anybody guys or girls knowing what they would get in their face if they were aggressive to me, it never happened in my life, so weird ?!

 

:-)

 

 

[Deepinthailand]

Well all I can say is No matter what a woman does I would never ever hit a woman. been in some scrapes over the years been spat on by women been sworn at been hit by women had all sorts thrown at me by women not once ever have I retaliated and I'm proud of that.

[Bangkokhatter]

1 hour ago, Deepinthailand said:

Well all I can say is No matter what a woman does I would never ever hit a woman. been in some scrapes over the years been spat on by women been sworn at been hit by women had all sorts thrown at me by women not once ever have I retaliated and I'm proud of that.

I too am proud to say that i have never hit a woman but i can see how sometimes it can happen.

My marriage to the first wife was great when living in the UK but when we moved here for work she went totally nuts. Mostly because of jealous rages. I was attacked with all sorts, but the last resort was a knife attack, and i did have to restrain her, but happy to say i kept my fists down.

[sanemax]

1 hour ago, Deepinthailand said:

Well all I can say is No matter what a woman does I would never ever hit a woman. been in some scrapes over the years been spat on by women been sworn at been hit by women had all sorts thrown at me by women not once ever have I retaliated and I'm proud of that.

 

   I just dont think that many Woman share that attitude , how does this sound :

 

Well all I can say is No matter what a man does I would never ever hit a man. been in some scrapes over the years been spat on by men been sworn at been hit by men had all sorts thrown at me by men not once ever have I retaliated and I'm proud of that.

 

    

[samsensam]

14 hours ago, arithai12 said:

I am amazed that the OP put up with this.

 

 

victim complex?

[amjamj]

7 hours ago, Deepinthailand said:

Well all I can say is No matter what a woman does I would never ever hit a woman. been in some scrapes over the years been spat on by women been sworn at been hit by women had all sorts thrown at me by women not once ever have I retaliated and I'm proud of that.

 

 

I do not hit them also, but my windshield does ! After unlocking her seatbelt and braking quite hard,,,

 

A great way to help them to understand who is in charge...

 

 

 

 

[jacko45k]

19 hours ago, GreasyFingers said:

I had never hit a woman before coming to Thailand even though a few deserved a hit. A past gf went into one of her unfounded jealousy rages and started smashing things in the unit. An open handed slap and she was back to the normal sweet girl. Some seem to respond to being hit.

And then there are those who smoulder quietly, waiting for the right opportunity for revenge served cold.......

[Deepinthailand]

8 hours ago, sanemax said:

 

   I just dont think that many Woman share that attitude , how does this sound :

 

Well all I can say is No matter what a man does I would never ever hit a man. been in some scrapes over the years been spat on by men been sworn at been hit by men had all sorts thrown at me by men not once ever have I retaliated and I'm proud of that.

 

    

I don't care what a hypothetically a woman would say.