The week that was in Thailand news: Thailand – where very little is ever cut and dried

rooster59 · December 17, 2016

The week that was in Thailand news: Thailand – where very little is ever cut and dried

The only thing that is cut and dried in Thailand is squid. OK, beef jerky, too. But that is about it.

As far as the news goes it is an exercise in crass stupidity to speculate; besides, the police force does more than enough of that.

The various rapes committed over the last week or so, and a host of other crimes, show that it is usually better to adopt a wait and see policy rather than rush headlong into keyboard detective work. Not that that is ever likely to put off the Thaivisa speculators who when proved completely wrong go quiet…..before emerging with all guns blazing just as soon as another opportunity presents itself!

I guess it is the nature of the modern day internet beast when everyone can be a twenty second expert and when opinions and unsubstantiated theories can be spread like the proverbial rash in moments.

In the case of the rape of the Australian girl it looks to Rooster like the force has done a good job. Like all law enforcement they are obliged to be skeptical about rape claims. And when the victim claimed the perp was a tuk-tuk driver they didn’t rush to believe. She was practically paralytic after all. Solid police work led to the motorcycle taxi driver who says the sex was consensual.

You could tell that to Chad Evans the UK footballer who was convicted essentially because of the legal precedent that a very drunk woman cannot give her consent. This, however, is unlikely to be the case in Thailand.

In Kamphaeng Phet a South African English teacher got on a motorbike with two Thai men who were drunk. Foolish perhaps but are we to condemn every person that takes a risk? Maybe she knew them. Maybe the road was lonely and it was better to accept a lift. Maybe she had had a drink too. Maybe….Still, the police did well again and found the rapist in Chonburi and extracted the usual speedy confession.

While a Thai farmer fought back against her attacker and killed him after a rape attempt at her house. The keyboard warriors took this at face value as it suited most people’s agenda. It could be entirely plausible that the man was innocent and had been enticed by the woman who disliked him for some reason or another, then stabbed him and arranged the murder scene to suit.

I am not saying it was, but cut and dried should be left to certain foods not become the staple of crime detection.

Met commissioner Sanit Mahathavorn – who so often has thrust himself into plod limelight this year – found himself at the center of rather more unwanted attention. It was revealed that one of Thailand’s most visible – hard to miss him – cops was accepting money from a booze company.

Police HQ pooh-poohed the idea there could possibly be a conflict of interest and wisely, at least for once, the publicity hungry Sanit kept his head below the pillorying parapet. He will be fully aware of what it says under Article 1 of the RTP manual – wait long enough and it’ll all blow over.

Meanwhile, two stories trundled on at a “hoy’s” pace. The scandal surrounding the NGV buses stuck at the port looks like it has been “resolved”. With the PM wanting to present the eco-friendly vehicles at a PR show this week was it any wonder that Bestrin’s buses would start to see the road rather than continue bobbing up and down in the sea.

It looks like the BMTA contract winners knew all along the buses were really made in China – why else would they rush to accept the huge extra tax bill? If not completely cut and dried this one looks like it belongs in the “bleedin’ obvious” category…..

And in Pathum Thani the authorities, hopelessly unable to do the slightest thing to extricate the arch embezzler from the UFO temple, went after his spokesman. The press were invited in their droves but all they could dine on was egg – for there was plenty of it on the officials’ faces when the spokesman was not only not home but never even lived at the house.

Still, armed with a search warrant they had a nose around and maybe they found an unpaid electric bill or something to make the effort worthwhile.

Media frenzy of the week surrounded the emergence from clink of the eminently colorful soapy massage tycoon-turned politician-turned jailbird Chuwit Kamolvisit who thanked His Majesty Rama X for letting him out early.

Chuwit had done less than a year for the infamous tearing down of a bar area in Sukhumvit in 2003 and now his position is very strong. Sanctimoniously (a word that probably does not exist in Thai and if it does is not understood) Chuwit said he had done his porridge, paid his price to society and would now become a model citizen!

Not for him the standard avoidance of responsibility, the ordaining into the monkhood, the crocodile tears and fake apologies. The cynical would say this is all excellent preparation for continuing in politics but Chuwit said he would certainly not countenance that.

So clearly he is.

Maybe he’ll be the next prime minister when the junta deem that we are ready and responsible enough to vote for our own leaders again.

Amusingly, he said he would only speak to presenter Sorrayuth now stripped of his TV show. He faces considerably more time in jail than Chuwit of course. Privately he will probably tell Sorrayuth how best to enjoy life in stir….and make the most of it.

There were certainly shades of Jeffrey Archer, the multi-millionaire author and perjurer, when Chuwit said he might write a book about his time inside. Jeffrey wrote three prison bestsellers and like Chuwit seemed to only benefit from serving time.

Once again the quirky tales that make living in Thailand so much fun were all over the forum.

We had the Londoner selling Pad Thai in Khao Sarn – she was a pig farmer from the north east these days and had replaced “gor blimey guv” with some Laotian stuff that even Rooster couldn’t fathom. Fortunately there were standard Thai subtitles on the video.

Then there was the story of the villages in Isaan where people had – shock horror - died in hammocks while resting leading the locals, quite naturally, to believe that 300 ogres were in fact responsible. An “ajarn” ghost-buster and his disciples were drafted in at a cost of 50 baht a household and the errant ogres were tidied up into an earthenware jar after a day full of wailing and banging.

Rooster’s North Eastern missus could relate to this news story, if very little else this week; now that the ‘Phee Pop’ had been captured everything would be alright, she said. A cut and dried story for once…..

And so to this week’s Rooster awards. First up was the forum comment of the week on the latest story of an honest taxi driver. The translator had clearly gone to satirical town in the gushing appreciation of the Roi-Et man’s honesty that inspired “patOngo” to observe: “Nice story….it brought a tear to my glass eye”.

The “Why me, Officer?” award went to the vibrator and Viagra vendor in Pattaya who was “brazenly” displaying his wares near Walking Street. Rooster got out of his Bangkok coop this week and traveled to the eastern seaboard and can confirm that ‘Somchai’ is not the only peddler purveying porn-stuff in Pattaya.

Perhaps it was the size of his dildos that was causing consternation. Either way his forlorn expression at Pattaya nick was worth a thousand words. Let’s hope the local police can “keep up” the arresting good work – with all that Kamagra it should be a cinch.

The “Backtracking” award went to the Koh Pangan hospital who had a not surprising change of heart when the story of their fleecing of a pregnant tourist was plastered all over the internet. They had charged her 103,000 baht for an ultrasound that told her what she already knew but when the story broke the wais came out, the passport was handed back and the tourist was on her way with those ‘trusting’ smiles we know and love.

The “Would have preferred some other kind of Jewelry” award goes to the spirit of the wife gruesomely murdered in the North. A husband stands charged with paying 100K to a double murderer out of jail early to have his wife “necklaced” in burning car tires.

Makes the man who set fire to his missus in a car in Bangkok last week look like Mother Theresa.

Finally one had to admire the sheer cheek of two Khon Kaen women who went to Hat Yai armed with a suitcase full of Botox to set up an impromptu clinic in a hotel room in the southern Thai town. The local ladies were queuing up for facial treatment even though the attractive “beauticians” had no qualifications except their own assertions that they were “good at what they did”.

Now that really is a cut and dried case of saving face.

Rooster

sotonowl · December 17, 2016

Only recently joined and I love this Roosters weekly report, brilliant again although it's only my second one.

Just like to humbly point out though that it was in fact Ched Evans (Chedwynn I believe his name is and not Chad and he has had the conviction quashed). I take no satisfaction in this as I support the team from the other end of the city from where he plied his trade.

eeyang wah · December 18, 2016

19 hours ago, rooster59 said:

Sanctimoniously (a word that probably does not exist in Thai and if it does is not understood) Chuwit said he had done his porridge, paid his price to society and would now become a model citizen!

❤