How much do you give your wife/gf to spend for food and stuff

[JoeBloe]

OK Guys. Probably a bad question, but if my gf moves in (small Bangkok condo), she will reasonably expect cash to buy food and run the household (like wives) and pocket money for clothes, coffee etc.. I was wondering, how much people think is a reasonable amount for this (per week/month). She doesn't work currently, and I am not too fussed if she goes back to work or not, I prefer her around.

 

I pick up the cost of the digs.

 

Yeah, I will probably get hammered here and get told to give her 1000 every time we have sex and let her sort it out, but I am trying to be civilized. I didn't find her in a bar or on the street, so I need a reasonable and civilized idea.

 

[rijb]

Make a budget, together.

[JoeBloe]

Yes, yes ... but some ballpark figure would be instructive. Sometimes budgeting is more trouble than it is worth, easier to say "Yeah, 2500 a week sounds about right" or whatever.

[rijb]

No, no.

[Ahab]

I don't give her anything. My wife of 24 years runs the budget, she spends whatever she needs and saves the rest. She has been paying the bills and making sure everything is taken care of for about twenty two and a half years.

[JoeBloe]

Just now, Ahab said:

I don't give her anything. My wife of 24 years runs the budget, she spends whatever she needs and saves the rest. She has been paying the bills and making sure everything is taken care of for about twenty two and a half years.

Well, she must get THB from somewhere, so are you a "kept man" or do you give her everything you've got. Nice for some, but in my case "everything" is out of the question so we need to have some idea of how much for me to "put in the pot" so I don't need to keep close tabs. Micro-managing household economy is a bitch.

 

I am going to wait for some rational or at least humorous responses now ...

[Ahab]

15 minutes ago, MichaelBates said:

Well, she must get THB from somewhere, so are you a "kept man" or do you give her everything you've got. Nice for some, but in my case "everything" is out of the question so we need to have some idea of how much for me to "put in the pot" so I don't need to keep close tabs. Micro-managing household economy is a bitch.

 

I am going to wait for some rational or at least humorous responses now ...

If that makes me a kept man, then that is what I am and I am very happy with it. She controls the budget and paying of bills, that is the way I like it because I hate paying bills. I spend money as I want (as long as we have enough in checking) and I manage retirement funds and long term investment/savings. This arrangement started just after we got married and I was transferring to sea duty in the U.S, Navy. Being gone for 3-5 months at a time meant someone had to pay the bills. I have never had an issue, and when I retired from the Navy I saw no reason to change the arrangement (I still hate paying the bills).

[JoeBloe]

2 minutes ago, Ahab said:

If that makes me a kept man, then that is what I am and I am very happy with it. She controls the budget and paying of bills, that is the way I like it because I hate paying bills. I spend money as I want (as long as we have enough in checking) and I manage retirement funds and long term investment/savings. This arrangement started just after we got married and I was transferring to sea duty in the U.S, Navy. Being gone for 3-5 months at a time meant someone had to pay the bills. I have never had an issue, and when I retired from the Navy I saw no reason to change the arrangement (I still hate paying the bills).

So, are you saying you "give her all your money"? It is unclear to me from your posts where the source of funds is

[Ahab]

I don't give her any money. I work, the money I earn is deposited in our joint checking account (and a retirement account). She takes care of the kid, the house, the garden/yard, pays the monthly bills, buys groceries, etc. I spend money as I wish and need to spend it and she does the same. She is more frugal than I am. We are married and have been for over 24 years.

[473geo]

Standard living - Ball park 5k baht a week and you pick up the big ticket items, if she is good with food she will save out of this

 

[onthesoi]

1 hour ago, MichaelBates said:

 easier to say "Yeah, 2500 a week sounds about right" or whatever.

 

That is approx what a Bangkok factory worker earns ...& they will have rent/travel to pay etc

 

But, she will be buying food for two and if your eating falang food it will be more expensive...so extrapolate from there!

[meatboy]

after over 30yrs.i leave  that to her,she has it ALL,and i wouldnt have it any other way.

what the op wants is a maid or a paid servant.

[Don Mega]

I dont give my missus any cash, she has the cards to my credit and savings accounts and she spends what needs to be spent.

[JoeBloe]

18 minutes ago, meatboy said:

after over 30yrs.i leave  that to her,she has it ALL,and i wouldnt have it any other way.

what the op wants is a maid or a paid servant.

No, what I want is to avoid the eternal bullshit. I am just looking for a guidline. If I wanted "hired help with the usual extras" as they say in HK, I would have gone that route.

 

It's a bit early to be giving her credit/debit cards and access to unlimited funds

[aircooledflat4]

 

Quote

10 hours ago, MichaelBates said:

I pick up the cost of the digs.

 

Since she's not working, it falls on you to pick up the cost for everything.... fixed costs like her phone, her internet, her life insurance, her health insurance etc etc... on top of the digs.

 

And all the while you're doing that, there'll be no imperative for her to find work and contribute to the cost of living, to help offset these costs. But I'm sure you'e aware of that reality. Hence your problem of how much to give her. 

 

I would strongly advise to cover her for her fixed costs only. Never give pocket money.

 

I've been down this road and from my experience any amount you come up with is never enough. Thais don't budget, or plan anything, so once they see some numbers in black in white it becomes like a bargaining game. "How can I get this amount higher" will be her MO.

 

You can't change that, it's cultural.. And they are far more skilled at this than we are.

 

Therfore do not discuss money at all. Cover her fixed costs but never reveal how much you have or what your upper limit is. Any amount you set will always be reached and usually exceeded. There will always be an attempt to get more and no attempt to save. Unless of course it's their own money that they have earned, and which you will never see or know about.

 

You must control the purse strings OP and only pay for things as you see fit. Never the other way around. Even when you go to the supermarket, YOU choose what goes in the trolley, not her.

 

You pay, you the boss.

 

When she wants this and that... the usual crap they don't need... and she will try you on to see how far she can stretch you... say no. Only ever buy what YOU think is of value to you BOTH.

 

[meatboy]

2 hours ago, MichaelBates said:

No, what I want is to avoid the eternal bullshit. I am just looking for a guidline. If I wanted "hired help with the usual extras" as they say in HK, I would have gone that route.

 

It's a bit early to be giving her credit/debit cards and access to unlimited funds

avoid the eternal bullshit,so try not to ask the QUESTIONS,only you know how much you can afford. ON HIRE.

[Naam]

10 hours ago, Ahab said:

I don't give her anything. My wife of 24 years runs the budget, she spends whatever she needs and saves the rest. She has been paying the bills and making sure everything is taken care of for about twenty two and a half years.

[zeichen]

I love the guys claiming not to give their wives anything.  In fact are giving them access to everything.  So their wives are fully dependent on them and they spend whatever they need or want. 

 

Personally, I find it ridiculous in this day and age to support a wife without her contributing financially to the home.  I think it is a bad role model for children and often shows the bread winner as more important.  I think that both parents should be contributing equally to housework, finances, etc. 

 

10k baht a month would be enough to pay for basic expenses, but again if she is fully dependent on you, then it would be a lot more than that.  20k baht a month plus if you have a kid, education, clothes, health care. 

[taiping]

MichaelBates -- PM me if you want a sensible answer from someone married to a Thai for 23 years. I don't wish this to become public knowledge. My wife does not work.

 

[brucegoniners]

Give her what she needs.

 

If you start to think it's out of line then ask questions.

 

Just based on your question, there seems to be some instant trust issues.

 

Since you didn't meet her on the in a bar or on the street then there shouldn't be any issues, right?

 

And I understand about you being worried about being hammered here. 

 

One piece of advice after years here.  IGNORE THE IDIOTS AND TROLLS (some are one and the same)...

[Jeffrey346]

My wife has my debit card as well. After 10 years of marriage, she still asks if she can buy this or that. I have always told her to buy what she needs to buy. There has never been a problem..

[Naam]

26 minutes ago, zeichen said:

Personally, I find it ridiculous in this day and age to support a wife without her contributing financially to the home.  I think it is a bad role model for children and often shows the bread winner as more important.  I think that both parents should be contributing equally to housework, finances, etc. 

personally i find it ridiculous to have a wife and children and then send the wife working and make money to contribute to the finances. if you can't afford a wife who takes care of the household and family don't get married.

[zorro1]

Standard living - Ball park 5k baht a week and you pick up the big ticket items, if she is good with food she will save out of this
 

Are you crazy or just a fat guy?

[ross163103]

17 hours ago, Ahab said:

I don't give her anything. My wife of 24 years runs the budget, she spends whatever she needs and saves the rest. She has been paying the bills and making sure everything is taken care of for about twenty two and a half years.

Same as my situation and about the same time involved, we're a couple and we trust each other.....like a husband and wife should. If you can't trust your partner, better to stop, step back, and reevaluate your situation.

[BlindMagician]

17 hours ago, Ahab said:

I don't give her anything. My wife of 24 years runs the budget, she spends whatever she needs and saves the rest. She has been paying the bills and making sure everything is taken care of for about twenty two and a half years.

That's what you think. ?

[thaipo7]

Been married for 45 years.  Money earned goes into an account and we both have credit cards and all I want to know is what is being charged by her.  Never had separate money for the each of us.  We lived both in the US and here in Thailand.  In Thailand now in our home outside of Korat.  I have heard of married couples in the US with separate accounts.  The one thing my wife has now is her own IRA account.  I did a great job building it up for her.  She made the contributions and to me, this money is hers.  Never a problem in 45 years.

[chiang mai]

Supermarket/groceries spending only, two people, one month - 7k baht.

[saroq]

Between THB30,000 - THB35,000 a month for food and bills plus another THB25,000 a month for her to spend or save as she chooses.  It's all relative, for some people that would be a lot of cash but I was already spending that much on food and bills so we just cut back on expensive restaurants.  25,000 a month seems reasonable to me because I told her that she takes care of all her commitments out of that and her family, I don't want to hear about their money problems. 

[chickenslegs]

16 hours ago, Ahab said:

I don't give her any money. I work, the money I earn is deposited in our joint checking account (and a retirement account). She takes care of the kid, the house, the garden/yard, pays the monthly bills, buys groceries, etc. I spend money as I wish and need to spend it and she does the same. She is more frugal than I am. We are married and have been for over 24 years.

 

9 hours ago, meatboy said:

after over 30yrs.i leave  that to her,she has it ALL,and i wouldnt have it any other way.

what the op wants is a maid or a paid servant.

 

9 hours ago, Don Mega said:

I dont give my missus any cash, she has the cards to my credit and savings accounts and she spends what needs to be spent.

 

39 minutes ago, Jeffrey346 said:

My wife has my debit card as well. After 10 years of marriage, she still asks if she can buy this or that. I have always told her to buy what she needs to buy. There has never been a problem..

 

26 minutes ago, ross163103 said:

Same as my situation and about the same time involved, we're a couple and we trust each other.....like a husband and wife should. If you can't trust your partner, better to stop, step back, and reevaluate your situation.

My situation is similar to those above. Long time married, joint accounts, trust.

 

None of this is relevant to the OP who is asking about a housekeeping allowance for his girlfriend "if" she moves in with him.

 

I have no idea how much she will need. I guess it will depend on the lifestyle they wish to have.  Chicken is 70B/kg but Australian beef is 1000B/kg.

 

IMHO - Post #2 is the way to go.

 

 

 

 

[JoeBloe]

6 minutes ago, chickenslegs said:

 

 

 

 

My situation is similar to those above. Long time married, joint accounts, trust.

 

None of this is relevant to the OP who is asking about a housekeeping allowance for his girlfriend "if" she moves in with him.

 

I have no idea how much she will need. I guess it will depend on the lifestyle they wish to have.  Chicken is 70B/kg but Australian beef is 1000B/kg.

 

IMHO - Post #2 is the way to go.

 

 

 

 

I never thought one second about western food costs. We both eat Thai, she is a good cook and I am happy to eat Thai at home permanently - I can always get Irish Stew down at the pub if I get homesick :)

 

Like I said, this is just to cover household expenses, food and suchlike, plus a reasonable amount for her to have money in her pocket for personal incidentals.

 

Some other poster was right though - Thais don't plan and no amount is enough - any left over will go to mother, sister, cousin and so on without me ever knowing.