Thai Customs or just BS...

[doggie1955]

It seams like the Thai's follow Thai customs, more then the rules or laws of Thailand...

Cast in point; My Wife was married before, and had a big wedding. Now my Mother-in-law was asking for gold & money to marry her Daughter when I first came to Thailand, I told her that I don't play that game!

So I asked her a question...If I buy a new car for 1,000,000 baht and then 5 years later I try to sell you the same car for 1,000,000 baht, would you buy it? And if you keep asking me for gold & money, I will just look for a new wife here in Thailand somewhere else! She did not like that at all....Customs are not law!

My wife told me of a woman who was married 4 times in the last 10 years, and each time they gave her Mother gold & money....Talk about Thai scam!

 

I look at it this way...If you come here to marry a Thai woman, marry her and not the family. Because the family will look at you as a ATM. And remember you have the power to walk away at anytime.

 

 

[tonray]

The family may take your retorts as somewhat rude and insulting. Status and face are everything in Thai society. Just food for thought.

[KMartinHandyman]

Let me be the first to say,,
"This old chestnut"

[theguyfromanotherforum]

Look, my wife and her parents have their own income and I was never asked for any money whatsoever (wife put her own money for the show), but in Thailand you ARE marrying a family. I am under no grand delusions that my wife's family is less important than me and quite frankly I wish we in the West would adopt this standard and it just shows a lack of self respect on our part.

 

For example, how many Western guys here support their own family instead of a Thai one? My mom needs money more than my wife's which in my case is actually true.

 

 

 

 

Edited April 4, 2017 by theguyfromanotherforum

[daveAustin]

Quote

My wife told me of a woman who was married 4 times in the last 10 years, and each time they gave her Mother gold & money....Talk about Thai scam!

 

Possibly, but the husbands had a hand in it in being stupid. Seems your wife was intimating this was correct in any case... mmm. And, if there is family, you will marry them whether you like it/know it or not. You come second however way you play it. Best advice is to pick a nice woman with minimal, okay family that have business that haven't sent their daughter out into the 'world' to fetch a man. 

[BEVUP]

56 minutes ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

Look, my wife and her parents have their own income and I was never asked for any money whatsoever (wife put her own money for the show), but in Thailand you ARE marrying a family. I am under no grand delusions that my wife's family is less important than me and quite frankly I wish we in the West would adopt this standard and it just shows a lack of self respect on our part.

 

For example, how many Western guys here support their own family instead of a Thai one? My mom needs money more than my wife's which in my case is actually true.

 

 

 

 

Well quite frankly we married the woman who will become the wife

& yes my mother is poor as well along with my wifes Thai family, but a westerner wouldn't put the house up for hock like they do hear in case of losing it which they dont seem to have a problem here

& as many foreigners have said don't ever loan "the family you married " money as you will never get it back because you worked long & hard for it but we're al one big family 

Thats the difference as i help my western family & i do or may get the money back but here they just take & not even try to give back

Now you may say that i married into the wrong family , but i didn't, I married the daughter & helped her only to realise the above

[petermik]

Tell your girlfriend if marrying you and being taken care of is not enough then you look for someone else....there are thousands of women here looking for a decent guy,her family AND her are just goldiggers......walk away

 

p.s. my girlfriend of four years (46 years of age) has never been married/no kids spent 18 years on the front desk at two top BKK (university degree in travel/tourism) and she asks me for nothing except my love,lucky me maybe but decent ladies ARE out there

Edited April 4, 2017 by petermik

[oxo1947]

1 hour ago, KMartinHandyman said:

Let me be the first to say,,
"This old chestnut"

And let me be the 2nd to say KM ..that it will probably still run for umpteen pages and in the end , no one would have changed their point of view on either side......

[doggie1955]

6 hours ago, petermik said:

Tell your girlfriend if marrying you and being taken care of is not enough then you look for someone else....there are thousands of women here looking for a decent guy,her family AND her are just goldiggers......walk away

 

p.s. my girlfriend of four years (46 years of age) has never been married/no kids spent 18 years on the front desk at two top BKK (university degree in travel/tourism) and she asks me for nothing except my love,lucky me maybe but decent ladies ARE out there

My wife did not like her mom asking for money & gold, we think her Sister put her mom up to it...

[doggie1955]

7 hours ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

Look, my wife and her parents have their own income and I was never asked for any money whatsoever (wife put her own money for the show), but in Thailand you ARE marrying a family. I am under no grand delusions that my wife's family is less important than me and quite frankly I wish we in the West would adopt this standard and it just shows a lack of self respect on our part.

 

For example, how many Western guys here support their own family instead of a Thai one? My mom needs money more than my wife's which in my case is actually true.

 

 

 

 

Funny how you use the word respect, that is something Thai's just don't understand....Respect, Honor and Discipline is something you will fine in Korea or Japan, but not in Thailand.

[SiamBeast]

Your comparison, although it may seem rude, was 100% correct.

 

The "sin sot" is not required if the girl has been married before, as she is supposed to have gotten it at her first wedding.

If the girl has children, then please don't become a cuckold. Find another girl. Only exception is if she's a widow.

 

The solution is pretty simple, like many posters said, Just Say No.

 

A family that will force you to pay for used goods isn't a family you want to marry into. So if the parents decide to refuse to let you marry their daughter, they're doing you a favor.

[cyberfarang]

Reading and can't stop laughing and can't stop wondering how many naive guys are still coming here.

They are strongly in love as long you have money, if you want to have a paid actress at home, then marry a Thai woman, but for me marriage with Thai women is an act of a total desperation and hopelessness. I would recommend you to open your eyes and stop being naive in your later years of life. Thai women in their 30s and 40s have already been used by many guys and almost a lost second-hand version here, she will jump on any opportunity to get married now since she has her last years until coming up to her 50ties. Do you want to be loved or be a lifebuoy?

 

For guys who are here as retirees, have no need to tie the knot and officially get married. Just live together as a couple and if it does not work out, it is easy to walk away.

Edited April 16, 2017 by cyberfarang

[doggie1955]

On 4/16/2017 at 10:32 PM, cyberfarang said:

Reading and can't stop laughing and can't stop wondering how many naive guys are still coming here.

They are strongly in love as long you have money, if you want to have a paid actress at home, then marry a Thai woman, but for me marriage with Thai women is an act of a total desperation and hopelessness. I would recommend you to open your eyes and stop being naive in your later years of life. Thai women in their 30s and 40s have already been used by many guys and almost a lost second-hand version here, she will jump on any opportunity to get married now since she has her last years until coming up to her 50ties. Do you want to be loved or be a lifebuoy?

 

For guys who are here as retirees, have no need to tie the knot and officially get married. Just live together as a couple and if it does not work out, it is easy to walk away.

Well first of all I knew my wife 3 years before we got married, and she is from the country area...not all women here in Thailand are bar girls.

Now that 1% of the women you are talking about are like that any were in the world you go to. And if you are looking for a paid actress, then the best

place for that would be an American woman. It was my wife who told me not to pay one baht to here Mother, and like I told her I had no plans to pay her in the first place...Now this is my 3rd wife I have been married to, with my 1st & 2nd wife who both died from cancer. What I am talking about is how Thai's will follow Thai customs to the letter, but will not follow the rules or laws in this country.

[rumak]

On 4/4/2017 at 7:58 AM, tonray said:

The family may take your retorts as somewhat rude and insulting. Status and face are everything in Thai society. Just food for thought.

There are different types of Farangs trying to make their way in a foreign land (thailand)

1.  Many that i see believe that arguing and their native "logic" are the way to go.   I have Never seen one win with

that mindset.    And probably it will take a long time (if ever) for THEM to try to adapt.

2. Once in a while there is someone who figures it out ....often the hard way .  You might include me(and tonray?), but experience

 is the best teacher for those who can learn.  I have lived many peaceful and more enjoyable years here after many

 years of conflicts. (years ago there was no internet to consult  :-)  

 

Some good advice here from those who must be no.2..............hopefully helpful to those no.1's  who

would like to continue their thailand adventure.

[rumak]

20 hours ago, doggie1955 said:

Thai women in their 30s and 40s have already been used by many guys and almost a lost second-hand version here, she will jump on any opportunity to get married now since she has her last years until coming up to her 50ties. Do you want to be loved or be a lifebuoy?

Petermik (see his post above)......is not the ONLY one to find a very nice thai lady.  There are tens of thousands of

unmarried thai ladies who are much nicer and loving than the ladies often encountered by tourists , retirees, and

anyone else who looks in the wrong places or just doesn't know where or how to look.    Don't expect to find a pearl

if you are in the desert.