I want to move my wife and baby to a new area of Thailand away from her thai family

[Khon Kaen Dave]

8 minutes ago, roo860 said:

 

In between all that socialising and hob nobbing can you spare 5 minutes to find a cure for cancer?

 

Sent from my SM-G920F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

 

 

 

Great quote, It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle, than it is for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.

[catman20]

6 minutes ago, Khon Kaen Dave said:

I have read your post with interest, i can only say that i can see you singing 'Kumbaya' with your extended Thai 'family". You represent your self as a thai wanna be. There are many of you about. You are obviously so far up your own @rse that you cannot see that you are simply a felang woman with 'hangabouts' As for your guilt about my thai,i get by, but i dont speak Thai, i speak Isaan, which if you didnt know is a different dialect.You seem to think that you have the 'call' on thai culture. But i think you are going to be very disappointed later on in life. I also think that you are here because of some hidden problem that you had in your own country. But anyway, thats not here nor there YET. Enjoy your plastic life with your plastic friends. You wouldn't know real Thailand, if it came up and bit you on the arse.

Another ouch 

[Thongkorn]

Do you understand Thai culture where they take care of their immediate family , For life.

[Rc2702]

30 minutes ago, Thongkorn said:

Do you understand Thai culture where they take care of their immediate family , For life.

Yh but that's a system that is a bit flawed where siblings are concerned given some of the sons are lazy good for nothing people who are scroungers so you really think the culture is built to support good for nothing people simply based on sharing the same parents?

[NickJ]

One of the main reasons I spent a quarter of a century in Thailand....is so I could do whatever and wherever.  Up to me. Always  

[Rc2702]

2 minutes ago, NickJ said:

One of the main reasons I spent a quarter of a century in Thailand....is so I could do whatever and wherever.  Up to me. Always  

Still thinking about yourself then. Great.

[smudger1951]

I think what you are saying is you want move to Pattaya ! Hey go for it and leave the misses up-country. Let a year or two go by and it will all seem like a bad dream, which it is !

[starky]

So you want to uproot your missus and take her away from a good paying job and her family so you can go for a swim? Should have maybe grabbed a girl from Phuket instead of Isaan then eh? Selfish much?

[cyberfarang]

6 hours ago, jeab1980 said:

Your right very selfish. The excuses you use better food/better hospitals i would disagree there. Nearer to Bangkok is not a plus but a negative.

I have little doubt seperation will come very soon. Uprooting her from her well paid job whos going to look after your rugrat?. All so you can swim in the sea. Yes selfish.

Totally agree. His wife has a decent job, family and friends in the area where they live and deadbeat hubby on a low income suddenly gets a whim to be by the coast somewhere and expects his wife to just pack up and follow him into what will be a no man`s land for her. Also if on a low income living N.E of Thailand is much less expensive than living in a coastal resort. If he is happy with his wife, then it shouldn`t matter to him where he lives with her.

 

Seems to me that this guy has got itchy feet and become bored with his married domesticated lifestyle. I agree, that a separation is on the cards.  

[Rc2702]

2 minutes ago, cyberfarang said:

Totally agree. His wife has a decent job, family and friends in the area where they live and deadbeat hubby on a low income suddenly gets a whim to be by the coast somewhere and expects his wife to just pack up and follow him into what will be a no man`s land for her. Also if on a low income living N.E of Thailand is much less expensive than living in a coastal resort. If he is happy with his wife, then it shouldn`t matter to him where he lives with her.

 

Seems to me that this guy has got itchy feet and become bored with his married domesticated lifestyle. I agree, that a separation is on the cards.  

Very harsh. Maybe he has sacrificed a good career in the west for a low income job in thailand to be near his family. That does not make him a deadbeat at all. A deadbeat normally does not work at all. I agree with a lot of what you agree with but tone down your silly remarks and switch on your brain before typing at keypad you know nothing other than his honest posting.

[alwaysrainsinUK]

Tried the country living for yrs in Surin. Super boring, nothing to do much and everyone went to sleep early.

  living near the coast far better and no influence from the Isaan crew. Wife glad to see the back of the begging family too.

Edited June 21, 2017 by alwaysrainsinUK
mistake

[yrag]

I live here 13 years...i highly recommend Bang Sarey..once established u will never leave......

[whatawonderfulday]

7 hours ago, KIWIBATCH said:

Well said...colineil......and absolutely 100% true....particularly the words "..in Thailand family comes first above and before all others..."

 

I would also like to add....be very very careful...! 

100% wrong.   The family comes only second.   Money, and the love of obtaining it by any means, comes first in Thailand.

[bazza73]

9 hours ago, ghworker2010 said:

I'll just do whatever I want. How does that sound to you? If I want to ask other farang living in Thailand if they are in the same situation then thats up to me. cheers old boy

It sounds to me you'll be single very soon. That may be what you want deep down. You can dress it up anyway you want to; however, the fact remains you come second to the family with any Thai woman.

 

[steven100]

The fact is you are only thinking about your own wants and desires ...

You want to have the wife pack up, leave her happy existence and move so you can be near the water.

very unthoughtful of you ... recipe for disaster  !

 

I know what I would be saying if being the wife ..... 

you would be going alone.      

[jeab1980]

4 hours ago, Rc2702 said:

Very harsh. Maybe he has sacrificed a good career in the west for a low income job in thailand to be near his family. That does not make him a deadbeat at all. A deadbeat normally does not work at all. I agree with a lot of what you agree with but tone down your silly remarks and switch on your brain before typing at keypad you know nothing other than his honest posting.

I agree hes  dead beat and selfish. 

[Jonathan Fairfield]

I often think it would be tough living so close to the in-laws, and that goes for in any country, but especially in Thailand! 

 

I'd recommend Hua Hin as a good place to raise a family.

[jeab1980]

31 minutes ago, Jonathan Fairfield said:

I often think it would be tough living so close to the in-laws, and that goes for in any country, but especially in Thailand! 

 

I'd recommend Hua Hin as a good place to raise a family.

That really depends on your in laws and you. We live in the same village as inlaws mother and 2 sisters. We see them maybe one a week and then its at mothers house for a BBQ. We have the family round every month or so for a meal fish ect. Other than that i see mother everyday when passing on bike or when out for a walk. I firmly belive its a perpetuated urbon myth about the in laws round 24/7. If they do its quite easy to say time to go or now is not a good time. When i lived and was married in home country my family and the wifes family lived in the same town. 

[jacko45k]

I live near to the sea, apart from the available seafood and some restaurants with a good view I would hardly know.

I am sure daily expenses will go up for you.

 

If you are considering Pattaya area be careful as this could undermine your relationship.

 

[Gecko123]

A wife with a good job is nothing to sneeze at.

 

I also agree with jacko45K above. I seriously considered moving to the coast recently, but after a two week house hunting trip decided against it. You can't really enjoy the beach that much during rainy windy weather, or when the water is full of jelly fish. Higher cost of living also needs to be considered.

Edited June 22, 2017 by Gecko123

[newatthis]

OP, there are a couple of points I would make about your post.

You said that your wife agrees "in principle" about moving. Could it be that she is just non-confrontational about the issue?  That, to have peace, she is agreeing with you, hoping that by next year you will have changed your mind. Are you really sure that she wants to move? Remember you are a family now, so no matter how you feel, you have to consider her, too. She is the one who has to give up everything for [and I'm going to say it] "your fantasy" of a better life.

"Fantasy" ? Yes!  And this is where you need to "grow up and evolve."  You need to change your thinking. Better circumstances or situations do not lead to a better life. We can be happy as a pig in mud where we are, if we just change our thinking, but you seem to believe that the grass will be greener on the other side of the fence.  How long will it take before you are not content with your new life and then want to move again?

[portroyal]

My wife and I are married since 34 years

Never live close to her family. I don't like suicide

When she wants to see them, she goes 2.3 days. She is very happy to see old friends, and understand it's not my place

Family comes time to time to visit, and all right

[wildewillie89]

3 hours ago, Jonathan Fairfield said:

I often think it would be tough living so close to the in-laws, and that goes for in any country, but especially in Thailand! 

 

I'd recommend Hua Hin as a good place to raise a family.

Why 'especially in Thailand'? Are we just ignorantly categorising all families as exactly the same (on the observation of your own)?

We live in the same village as the whole entire extended family (minus a couple who work in different cities). The in-laws provide us with lunch and dinner every single day. They help take care of our kid whilst we both work. We see them on a nightly basis. And they do your regular things, like lend money whenever we are short/cant go to the ATM, lend the pick up if we are getting something big, cut grass, house maintenance, feed/spend time with dogs if we are forced to be in another city for a couple of days etc. 

 

They give us free range on what we do and how we choose to raise our child. They will only visit our house maybe once a month. We visit them to pick up our child, and food (mum loves cooking).

Would be hell of a lot tougher not being around them - seeing as we are both full time workers (we all know how dangerous many child care centres are in Thai). 

Edited June 22, 2017 by wildewillie89

[GreasyFingers]

19 hours ago, ghworker2010 said:

I feel a bit selfish for wanting to do this but I'm proposing to move to a new area of Thailand- on the coast somewhere next year.

Op, I am in a not dissimilar frame of mind. We lived on Samui for 2 years before I did the "unselfish" thing and moved here. Actually I was a bit bored with Samui as I had been living there for 5 years and half of the year you cannot swim. The g/f loves being near her family (and they are good to me) and is a real farm girl with 5 rai leased and under cultivation. But I am looking for some kind of compromise as I miss the ocean and contact with farangs and the farm work is too hard on an old body. My problem is I would like to spend time both here and on the beach but the solution has not been found yet.

 

With you, if the wife is willing, try it for a time but be prepared to move back to where you are now if things are not working out. You too may become bored with the beach life.

[ghworker2010]

3 hours ago, steven100 said:

The fact is you are only thinking about your own wants and desires ...

You want to have the wife pack up, leave her happy existence and move so you can be near the water.

very unthoughtful of you ... recipe for disaster  !

 

I know what I would be saying if being the wife ..... 

you would be going alone.      

you sound similar to a hard nosed western bit&&ch. Its why I like Thai ladies. Are you a man or a woman may I ask?

[rick99]

I think that the main point is not moving away from family. ....but moving to a better part of Thailand.   For you and your child and wife.  I've searched all over Thailand for the best place to live.  A clue of what to look for is where both thai and foreigners want to visit and holiday at.  My isaan wife loves living in this beautiful beach front location.  Her family are in awe.  She's free to go home any time to visit.  But tends to go less often and for shorter durations.  It will be the best place for us to raise our baby.  We enjoy the gorgeous views and the cool ocean breezes.  The seafood is abundant and theatres and international events are here in abundance.   I like isaan. ....but i could not live there unless I spoke the dialect fluently. ....loved farming and dust and poverty.  Choosing a lifestyle improvement is always positive for all family members.   I'd suggest a trial run to see the positIve or negative effects.  There are other discussions about getting away from family. ....I agree.  But most importantly is always stepping forward and upward in all decisions. 

[scorecard]

Just now, portroyal said:

My wife and I are married since 34 years

Never live close to her family. I don't like suicide

When she wants to see them, she goes 2.3 days. She is very happy to see old friends, and understand it's not my place

Family comes time to time to visit, and all right

 

Great and glad to hear your good situation. Must be quite a few more folks in same situation.

 

There are also many folks in complex and frustrating situations with in-laws and not only in Thailand.

 

My Thai nephew, nice young man and his Thai wife also very pleasant, she never asks for anything, but her parents and her several big brothers and sisters are a complex nightmare. Nephew always worried when they will turn up again and unannounced and start to move in, and again nephew has to stand his ground and say 'move out, now'.                                                                                                                                                                     

Four decades ago in Australia my in-laws came to our house and gave my wife and I a door bell system for Christmas, FIL announced that he would remove the front door of the house and the entire door frame so that he could fit the wires into wall cavity and up into the ceiling.

 

He had made an awful mess of his own house with his many failed and ugly DIY attempts.

 

I noticed that the wires could be pushed through a small gap in the door frame set up.  I waited until he went shopping and I completed the job within maybe 30 minutes, nothing removed, nothing damaged at all.

 

He came back to the house and all hell broke loose, he seriously abused me and his daughter and he then tried to insist he would pull out the wires and do it again his way.

 

I asked him to respect that it was not his house, which made him even more abusive.

 

I asked him to leave the house. His wife (pleasant lady) visited often after that but he never came to the house again and banned me from going to his house.

 

Crazies are everywhere (and I'm a bit crazy sometimes too).

[ghworker2010]

3 hours ago, jeab1980 said:

I agree hes  dead beat and selfish. 

A deadbeat that could buy and sell you. A lot of members assume just bc Im on a low income here in the LOS means that Im poor. 

 

Next time I ask you to think before you type with those fat little fingers of yours. Otherwise I will take you off my Christmas card list. 

[wildewillie89]

7 minutes ago, ghworker2010 said:

A deadbeat that could buy and sell you. A lot of members assume just bc Im on a low income here in the LOS means that Im poor. 

 

Next time I ask you to think before you type with those fat little fingers of yours. Otherwise I will take you off my Christmas card list. 

Deadbeat is a bit of a silly thing to call someone who works...but moving a family after your wife has an established career just so you can go for a swim - well it is hard not to agree with a lot of the posters.

Instead of buying and selling 'people', why not just buy a swimming pool? 

Edited June 22, 2017 by wildewillie89

[jeab1980]

34 minutes ago, ghworker2010 said:

A deadbeat that could buy and sell you. A lot of members assume just bc Im on a low income here in the LOS means that Im poor. 

 

Next time I ask you to think before you type with those fat little fingers of yours. Otherwise I will take you off my Christmas card list. 

Lol you could neither buy or sell me or afforg me. read my post  you will see i have indeed said that all along. A deadbeat does not imply your poor just a shefish lazy person.  Then you can apologise think and read before your fat little gob starts mouthing off.