Wedding ends in chaos as groom arrives with only half a dowry!

[sambum]

27 minutes ago, DavisH said:

When grammar matters...

Not grammar- facts matter!

[nanglong218]

I live at the wife's village near Buriram. Her kids (aged 29/26) have my house in Melbourne. He courted a lovely lass from a good family from Surin for two years via Skype and visits. The dowry was thb100k, the wedding another small fortune. They were skint after this so I ended up paying her visa to Australia, topside of 175000thb / $7000AUD.  I have faith they will stay together.

Glad no one explained dowries when I married the missus ten years back, like wlcart we got hitched for 40 baht in ten minutes at the local govt. office and had a couple of beers after. Otherwise  I might just have been on the next bus out. Now I read that only first marriage cops a dowry, great...I'm 3rd hand, both previous dead in RTAs, I've seen the death cert translations.

[cyberfarang]

100,000 baht and some gold, that`s a bargain compared to what Farlangs marrying Thai women are expected to pay. 

 

Question is; how much are women worth?  Why wouldn`t a sack or rich and a buffalo for Papa be considered enough?

[Scott]

Inflammatory post reported and removed.  

[thailand49]

12 hours ago, owenm said:

No money, no honey even for the locals.. And 51yo bride.. Surely not first time bride.. 

Lucky for them, it wasn't you or your likes as a group mediating the problem, a clarification it is the father of the bride who is 51!

[pattayadon]

12 hours ago, HiSoLowSoNoSo said:

"My daughter went back to work in Bangkok in the night."

Is she a hooker? 

5555555555  How observant!

[William C F Pierce]

As they say "Cheap at half the price".

[Elkski]

I hate people who post if they don't read the whole thread. If I was a moderator  all those who don't read the thread or the article or have poor comprehension would be banned for a month.  

 

2500$ USD not a bad price for a wedding.  But perhaps this young man didn't have it and now he knows what crazy family he avoided.  

[Candude]

13 hours ago, colinneil said:

Sad part of this story is brides family are only interested in money, not the couples happiness only money.

 

The marraige is doomed before it has begun.

I know many people keep saying that "this is Thai culture", but what about the culture other come from ? Read so many horror stories about sinsod/dowry that it's becoming pretty ridiculous in my opinion. I agree that if the bride loves the husband, regardless what  the parents expect in dowry, then the bride should explain to the parents that she will marry regardless of the dowry since the poor individual may not have the dowry. 

 

Yes, in my culture, the bride's parents pay for the wedding and there is no dowry. I understood that the dowry  is supposed to pay the parents for letting their daughter, (the expected income return), go but in reality any "caring" family would understand and return the dowry to the bride and groom to help them build their future. 

 

I understand there are cultures but I have always had an issue regarding this "dowry" to the parents given that the parents have sent their daughters out of the country to provide for them and when they marry, expecting money paid to them for "selling" their daughter.

 

I DON'T CARE HOW ANYONE ELSE SEES THIS BECAUSE NOBODY CAN CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE THAT THIS IS "SELLING" AND IF THE COUPLE IS HAPPY TOGETHER THEN THE DOWRY SHOULD BE DROPPED.

 

I am so fed up of hearing people say that it is "culture" or even worse to "save face". Both those sayings all boils down to money.  So yes, the family didn't care about the couples happiness, it was all about $$$$.    

[sambum]

27 minutes ago, Elkski said:

I hate people who post if they don't read the whole thread. If I was a moderator  all those who don't read the thread or the article or have poor comprehension would be banned for a month.  

 

2500$ USD not a bad price for a wedding.  But perhaps this young man didn't have it and now he knows what crazy family he avoided.  

"I hate people who post if they don't read the whole thread"

 

One of my pet hates too!

[Candude]

27 minutes ago, Elkski said:

I hate people who post if they don't read the whole thread. If I was a moderator  all those who don't read the thread or the article or have poor comprehension would be banned for a month.  

 

2500$ USD not a bad price for a wedding.  But perhaps this young man didn't have it and now he knows what crazy family he avoided.  

I agree. Although sometimes the threads go on and on. I usually read the whole thread so I get an idea of where people are coming from. 

 

As for the $2500 for the wedding. That is a great price. My first wedding cost me $35,000 and that was 25 years ago. Ended up in divorce, 18 months later. So, that amount in for a wedding is extremely cheap.  

 

But to stick to the topic, I have a hard time with "dowry" as I would rather help the family where and when I can but for the family to "expect" a dowry to save face is still a ridiculous culture which does translate in any other culture that this is all about money. Sad.  

[Retiredandhappyhere]

13 hours ago, HiSoLowSoNoSo said:

"My daughter went back to work in Bangkok in the night."

Is she a hooker? 

That thought also occurred to me but then I put it down to poor translation in the article.

[thhMan]

There was an agreement in place and the groom broke that agreement

 

Cant get simpler than that

[SiamBeast]

TiT.

Edited June 26, 2017 by SiamBeast

[Retiredandhappyhere]

25 minutes ago, Robert Nard said:

I know many people keep saying that "this is Thai culture", but what about the culture other come from ? Read so many horror stories about sinsod/dowry that it's becoming pretty ridiculous in my opinion. I agree that if the bride loves the husband, regardless what  the parents expect in dowry, then the bride should explain to the parents that she will marry regardless of the dowry since the poor individual may not have the dowry. 

 

Yes, in my culture, the bride's parents pay for the wedding and there is no dowry. I understood that the dowry  is supposed to pay the parents for letting their daughter, (the expected income return), go but in reality any "caring" family would understand and return the dowry to the bride and groom to help them build their future. 

 

I understand there are cultures but I have always had an issue regarding this "dowry" to the parents given that the parents have sent their daughters out of the country to provide for them and when they marry, expecting money paid to them for "selling" their daughter.

 

I DON'T CARE HOW ANYONE ELSE SEES THIS BECAUSE NOBODY CAN CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE THAT THIS IS "SELLING" AND IF THE COUPLE IS HAPPY TOGETHER THEN THE DOWRY SHOULD BE DROPPED.

 

I am so fed up of hearing people say that it is "culture" or even worse to "save face". Both those sayings all boils down to money.  So yes, the family didn't care about the couples happiness, it was all about $$$$.    

7

Practically every aspect of Thai "culture" is entirely in the Thais' favour, as they inevitably end up with all or most of the money.

 

In most cases, the Farang husband builds or buys a house and yet guess who is the legal owner?  50% of anything bought during the marriage automatically belongs to the wife on divorce, even if bought entirely with the husband's earnings or pensions from abroad.

[SiamBeast]

Just now, Retiredandhappyhere said:

Practically every aspect of Thai "culture" is entirely in the Thais' favour, as they inevitably end up with all or most of the money.

 

In most cases, the Farang husband builds or buys a house and yet guess who is the legal owner?  50% of anything bought during the marriage automatically belongs to the wife on divorce, even if bought entirely with the husband's earnings or pensions from abroad.

 

Right.

 

This is why smart men draft prenups prior to marriage. A nice $1,000 piece of paper that'll pay itself 100-fold if the wife goes rogue.

[Retiredandhappyhere]

Just now, SiamBeast said:

 

Right.

 

This is why smart men draft prenups prior to marriage. A nice $1,000 piece of paper that'll pay itself 100-fold if the wife goes rogue.

I agree with you, but unfortunately I ended up about 12 million down before I came to my senses.  

[smotherb]

14 hours ago, owenm said:

No money, no honey even for the locals.. And 51yo bride.. Surely not first time bride.. 

"Yesterday the father of the bride Bunsuan Wareesri, 51"

 

Been reading long?

[mikiea]

15 hours ago, YetAnother said:

boils down to money

what price a daughter ? .....not much 

 

[Bullie]

15 hours ago, owenm said:

No money, no honey even for the locals.. And 51yo bride.. Surely not first time bride.. 

You are joking, right? That's the age of the father of the bride.

[Candude]

1 hour ago, Retiredandhappyhere said:

Practically every aspect of Thai "culture" is entirely in the Thais' favour, as they inevitably end up with all or most of the money.

 

In most cases, the Farang husband builds or buys a house and yet guess who is the legal owner?  50% of anything bought during the marriage automatically belongs to the wife on divorce, even if bought entirely with the husband's earnings or pensions from abroad.

What about if you're married to a Thai and she builds a house with her own money, does it work the other way as well ? The Farang is entitled to 50% of whatever she owned in Thailand or acquires during the marriage ?  

 

I don't have that issue as she is basically building a house on the parent's land which will be transferred to her, (apparently), and she is paying for most of the house build where I helped out on some but much less than she did. Plus the family advised that no dowry needs to be paid but only shown for saving face . We'll see. :}

 

   

[Elkski]

How many gals, which type require a marriage?  Why would a guy get married unless she has a government healthcare he can benefit from?  

I know farang can't own property but they can own a house.  What is the best way to build a house on her land  and not risk losing any of it.  Or more than half of it?   I plan to just rent a place.  Better if I pay my gal rent for her place but the idea to build a house early on sounds crazy.  Maybe 5 years down the road if things are still Rosy. 

[ericthai]

18 hours ago, HiSoLowSoNoSo said:

"My daughter went back to work in Bangkok in the night."

Is she a hooker? 

yes, because bangkok only has hookers.

[Soikhaonoiken]

19 hours ago, rkidlad said:

Oh ,the dowry. It's part of the culture, you know?

 

I'm trying to think of a single time I've done something controversial and used the excuse "But it's my culture".

 

As far as I know, there are no laws stating that you have to follow your culture. You can use common sense and apply that. I told my missus that in my culture the father of the bride pays for the wedding. But I'm willing to let that slide if she's willing to let the dowry slide too. There's two cultures mixing and coming out with a great result. 

 

I think the world should adopt a new and universal culture called  'mind your own business'. 

Well said,

[HiSoLowSoNoSo]

2 hours ago, ericthai said:

yes, because bangkok only has hookers.

Ahh, so there must be some truth in what my Nepali friend told me that all Thai women got a cash register between their legs. 

Edited June 26, 2017 by HiSoLowSoNoSo

[Happyman58]

So no love involved just money  I suppose every time they have sex he has to put money in the box beside the bed Then again he is kinds lucky groom  She would of found another guy later with more money

[David Walden]

If you'r a man from the West marrying a Thai and you think you are free of a dowry you better think again, remember "the one you pay later are the ones you pay much more for".  This can also apply to Western wifes.

[futsukayoi]

23 hours ago, owenm said:

No money, no honey even for the locals.. And 51yo bride.. Surely not first time bride.. 

 

Badly worded but I think it is the bride's father who is 51.

 

I suspect that the family were concerned about face at least as much as the money.

[bbbbooboo]

hmm....i must have missed the bit ,where in Thai culture,the sinsod is for show only and is usually returned to the groom

[bandito]

23 hours ago, IMA_FARANG said:

In Thai tradition the dowry was for the Bride, to provide for her life if her husband died or could not provide for her because he could not, for some reason work

Or alternatively, it was to provide for her parents old age, since there was n such thing as government help for the aged then.

This tradition has been corrupted by imported  Western values, so now the Bride is regarded as a marketable commodity

 

Also the dowry is only if the bride is still a virgin and marries for the first time.

2nd time and having kids then no dowry is required as the bride is 2nd hand.