The poisonous Brother in Law

[Odysseus123]

The 57 year old uncle had become agitated,dazed and confused.The family took him to the local hospital which diagnosed high blood pressure and commenced him on a plethora of elephant killing drugs...

 

I was desperately ill myself but I finally dragged myself downstairs where the entire family was assembled on some sort of death vigil...

 

I checked the drugs (astounding) gave him a physical examination which appeared to reveal extreme tenderness in the kidney region and difficulty in micturition.I finally got him to squeeze a few foul,bloody drops of urine into a cup...and said "This man either has either  a severe urinary tract infection or is in advanced renal failure-either way call an ambulance!"

 

The family demurred.."But the doctor..the doctor.."

"If you don't call an ambulance,I will!"

Sure enough-severe UTI requiring a urinary catheter and IV antibiotics.

 

No thanks..no gratitude.

[Been there done that]

On 9/5/2017 at 11:52 PM, George FmplesdaCosteedback said:

Do you think this is specifically a Thai trait? I ask as I have only been on holiday to other countries in the area.

Of course here the general population have to put up with a lot of crap that could also be attributed to your diagnosis of Thailand's problems. Possibly we need to consider pent up emotions, "Face",  general keeping up with the Somchai's next door and avoiding conflict with the family is just a start. Family obligations are more close to hand and things get shared, including Johnny Farang's bank account.

 

 

 

No, it is not specifical a thai trait. As indicated in my comment, the spineless foreigners with a little sense of ethics/morals easily adapt to this behaviour. FEAR ! This is what the cultural system in this country is built on. 

Anyone with an open, thinking and critical mind can come to that conclusion.

[owl sees all]

5 minutes ago, Been there done that said:

FEAR ! This is what the cultural system in this country is built on. 

I think so too.

 

My wife is fearful of anyone wearing what looks a uniform. That could be a doctor, a nurse. bank teller, government worker or even a girl behind the local mobile shop.

 

Only yesterday at Frienship bridge as I was reluctently handing over my 500Bhat for 8 hours excess stay. "Tell him why we never came yesterday." The reason we were one day late was because she was sick. "She wouldn't say." I wasn't expecting anything other than the fine but I just wanted her to say something in my defence.

 

 

[thaibeachlovers]

16 minutes ago, Been there done that said:

No, it is not specifical a thai trait. As indicated in my comment, the spineless foreigners with a little sense of ethics/morals easily adapt to this behaviour. FEAR ! This is what the cultural system in this country is built on. 

Anyone with an open, thinking and critical mind can come to that conclusion.

LOL. It's easy to live in LOS as long as one isn't so conceited as to think that one's opinions matter a whit, and keeps one's mouth shut when one is inclined to publicly deride anything to do with LOS.

Mouth shut and in the configuration of a smile is generally accepted to be the ticket to a quiet life.

No one takes kindly to some upstart foreigner slagging off one's country, wherever.

[oldhippy]

About the lack of gratitude, the never a thank you.

 

I used to follow the buddhist subforum, as I once was interested in buddhism.

The things you read there.....!

 

Thai monks can not say thank you when you give them alms. It is against "buddhism"!

It would make the alm giver want to give for the "thank you", and therefore he would not give from his heart.

(And giving to a "big monk" sends more ripples in your karma than giving to a minor monk).

This was posted by a Poster that I can not name (lm = lese moderateur).

 

If monks do not say thank you, then what can you expect from regular Thais?

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Been there done that]

9 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

LOL. It's easy to live in LOS as long as one isn't so conceited as to think that one's opinions matter a whit, and keeps one's mouth shut when one is inclined to publicly deride anything to do with LOS.

Mouth shut and in the configuration of a smile is generally accepted to be the ticket to a quiet life.

No one takes kindly to some upstart foreigner slagging off one's country, wherever.

Slagging off !! It truly seems that you are a person i was referring about. I would say that you need to open your eyes by looking in the mirror instead off posting stupid comments. It seems you stand for "nothing".If you do not understand my previous comment, you better keep quiet. But maybe you just like posting toooo much. 

[Been there done that]

1 minute ago, oldhippy said:

About the lack of gratitude, the never a thank you.

 

I used to follow the buddhist subforum, as I once was interested in buddhism.

The things you read there.....!

 

Thai monks can not say thank you when you give them alms. It is against "buddhism"!

It would make the alm giver want to give for the "thank you", and therefore he would not give from his heart.

(And giving to a "big monk" sends more ripples in your karma than giving to a minor monk).

This was posted by a Poster that I can not name (lm = lese moderateur).

 

If monks do not say thank you, then what can you expect from regular Thais?

 

 

 

 

 

 

The cultural system in Thailand is based on a false sense of entitlement too. Keeps the ignoramuses in check.

[Kadilo]

I work on a simple theory. If there's no gratitude there's no end product. I'll happily get sucked in once but there won't be a second time. I don't care if it's my Thai girlfriend, her parents, the village Monk, my English son or Uncle Tom Cobbly and all

I couldnt care less what their origin or culture is the same rules apply.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect

 

[George FmplesdaCosteedback]

13 hours ago, Odysseus123 said:

Thaibeachlovers.

 

"Not a single word of appreciation..."

 

I saved the itinerant uncle's life and there was not a single thank you in return.In fact they seemed to take it as a slight against  the appallingly bad local hospital which was  doing its best to kill him off.

 

Of course I was on my way out as well...

They most likely all had life insurance policies on him...

[Been there done that]

15 hours ago, owl sees all said:

I think so too.

 

My wife is fearful of anyone wearing what looks a uniform. That could be a doctor, a nurse. bank teller, government worker or even a girl behind the local mobile shop.

 

Only yesterday at Frienship bridge as I was reluctently handing over my 500Bhat for 8 hours excess stay. "Tell him why we never came yesterday." The reason we were one day late was because she was sick. "She wouldn't say." I wasn't expecting anything other than the fine but I just wanted her to say something in my defence.

 

 

Mate of mine told me about his own missus, mother too of his kids; when i have problems with a thai, my wife stands behind me. Choices !

[Odysseus123]

On 9/10/2017 at 7:02 AM, George FmplesdaCosteedback said:

They most likely all had life insurance policies on him...

I asked my wife about the lack of response from the family.

Her reply was...

"If he dies he dies.If mum dies she dies..and if I die I die..."

 

Leaving me to contemplate whether this was some kind of golden answer to the moral and ethical morass that I found Thailand to be.

 

Detached fatalism.Never mind,I think too much.

[thaibeachlovers]

43 minutes ago, Odysseus123 said:

I asked my wife about the lack of response from the family.

Her reply was...

"If he dies he dies.If mum dies she dies..and if I die I die..."

 

Leaving me to contemplate whether this was some kind of golden answer to the moral and ethical morass that I found Thailand to be.

 

Detached fatalism.Never mind,I think too much.

I actually think it's a great way to live. I've never been one to think that life is such a wonderful thing that we need to sacrifice everything to cling to it, no matter how bad it has become.

However, it probably helps to believe in reincarnation,  or believe that everything is already written, as the Saudis do, to become truly fatalistic.

Edited September 11, 2017 by thaibeachlovers

[Odysseus123]

2 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I actually think it's a great way to live. I've never been one to think that life is such a wonderful thing that we need to sacrifice everything to cling to it, no matter how bad it has become.

However, it probably helps to believe in reincarnation, to become truly fatalistic.

In this case all it took was a correct diagnosis and a reasonable degree of treatment for a 57 year old man who may have many years of life ahead of him.

 

Nor am I going to be so "detached" as to overlook the starving diseased riddled soi dogs and the garbage strewn streets of the area in which I lived.

 

Nor am I going to overlook the profound lethargy,the indifference,the teenage pregnancies,the abandoned mothers,the drunkenness,the drug abuse and the poverty where life truly could be.."poore,nasty,brutal and short."

[GarryP]

6 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I actually think it's a great way to live. I've never been one to think that life is such a wonderful thing that we need to sacrifice everything to cling to it, no matter how bad it has become.

However, it probably helps to believe in reincarnation,  or believe that everything is already written, as the Saudis do, to become truly fatalistic.

The problem is when someone is misdiagnosed but if properly treated could have a normal life. I have seen that so many Thais accept everything their doctors tell them and never question anything.  It is fine if correctly diagnosed and there is no hope of getting back a normal life or a decent life,  then there is no point hanging around is there, but in some cases the diagnosis is clearly wrong.

 

Perhaps reincarnation plays a part. I know my wife was looking forward to meeting our daughter (deceased) in the next life when she decided she was ready to let go. I never said anything contrary  or questioned her beliefs as they helped her when she was dying. But I personally do not believe in reincarnation,  or any form of life after death. 

 

 

[thaibeachlovers]

11 minutes ago, Odysseus123 said:

In this case all it took was a correct diagnosis and a reasonable degree of treatment for a 57 year old man who may have many years of life ahead of him.

 

Nor am I going to be so "detached" as to overlook the starving diseased riddled soi dogs and the garbage strewn streets of the area in which I lived.

 

Nor am I going to overlook the profound lethargy,the indifference,the teenage pregnancies,the abandoned mothers,the drunkenness,the drug abuse and the poverty where life truly could be.."poore,nasty,brutal and short."

I was once like you. Cared about everyone else more than myself. Took a lot of being kicked by bad people, but eventually I stopped. Unfortunately, too late to have a good life I can enjoy before I pass over.

It's not as though I enjoy ignoring the crap around me, but I have to to survive for whatever life I have left.

[thaibeachlovers]

13 minutes ago, GarryP said:

.

I personally do not believe in reincarnation,  or any form of life after death. 

 

 

Without getting into a huge discussion about it, if one does not believe that there is anything beyond death, why would one be a good person, when one could steal, lie and cheat one's way to riches and live the life of Riley? After all, if the life we have is all we have, live for now, as there is no advantage to being a hard working, law abiding good person.

[GarryP]

14 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I was once like you. Cared about everyone else more than myself. Took a lot of being kicked by bad people, but eventually I stopped. Unfortunately, too late to have a good life I can enjoy before I pass over.

It's not as though I enjoy ignoring the crap around me, but I have to to survive for whatever life I have left.

 If you do not take care of yourself first, then you won't be in a position to help others for very long. I do not feel it is selfish.    

[Odysseus123]

30 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I was once like you. Cared about everyone else more than myself. Took a lot of being kicked by bad people, but eventually I stopped. Unfortunately, too late to have a good life I can enjoy before I pass over.

It's not as though I enjoy ignoring the crap around me, but I have to to survive for whatever life I have left.

Sure-it is a personal point of view.

 

But having experienced myself a complete misdiagnosis at the hands of a Thai doctor-and having lived with the consequences ever since-I am in no way way inclined to sit back and ponder the finer points of authoritarian fatalism ("But what can we do?") when the solution was readily to hand as long as they followed my advice and passed over the correct information to the doctor..

 

1.Difficulty in micturition.

2.Presence of blood in the urine.

3.Scalding urine

4.Pain in R.kidney region.

 

Easy to treat.

[GarryP]

12 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Without getting into a huge discussion about it, if one does not believe that there is anything beyond death, why would one be a good person, when one could steal, lie and cheat one's way to riches and live the life of Riley? After all, if the life we have is all we have, live for now, as there is no advantage to being a hard working, law abiding good person.

Morality is not solely born of religion or religious beliefs.  Why can't I be a good person without having any religion?  For that matter there are many "religious" people who suffer from a severe lack of any sense of guilt/shame in their actions.  I believe nurture plays a much more important role than religion.  I know what is right and what is wrong. I treat others as I would like them to treat me. 

 

To conclude, just because when I die I cease to be anything apart from fertilizer or ashes, does not mean that I will not be as good a person as I can be while I am alive. There is no link between the two. If you believe that the only reason to be good is to be reincarnated as a better person or to go to heaven, then that is a very poor reason indeed.  

[Golden Triangle]

Jesus H Christ,

 

When I started reading this thread at page 1 I didn't realise that it had stretched out to 80 pages, I managed the first 4 pages to get a feel for it, I then fast forwarded to page 76 to see how it was going

 

All I can say is that maybe I am one of the lucky ones, me and "Her indoors" have been together for 7 years now, 6 of those living together, I get on well with all her family, Mum, Dad, she has 2 brothers both married, a few Aunties in the village and a Niece who has just graduated from Med school, I give her her monthly allowance which I know part of which goes to her Ma & Pa, brothers are teachers as is the SiL. 

 

Only once have I had a request for financial assistance, 200000 Baht, because the fruit harvest was particularly bad that year, I lent them the money (3 years ago) because I would rather they deal with me as opposed a nasty money lender, so far 50k Thai Baht has been repaid, no interest, no heavy handed threats, they are honest hard working people, every time we go to visit them we come away with boxes of freshly picked fruit which is distributed amongst our many friends here in Patts, I sometimes think that they are trying to repay the debt with fruit  It ain't gonna work and they know it.

 

You need to have your head on the right way around in this country otherwise you will be scammed, FiL once said to me here is a nice plot of land for you to build a house (Not far from his house) I said no thank you

 

Be careful out there guys.    

[Kadilo]

Jesus H Christ,

 

When I started reading this thread at page 1 I didn't realise that it had stretched out to 80 pages, I managed the first 4 pages to get a feel for it, I then fast forwarded to page 76 to see how it was going

 

All I can say is that maybe I am one of the lucky ones, me and "Her indoors" have been together for 7 years now, 6 of those living together, I get on well with all her family, Mum, Dad, she has 2 brothers both married, a few Aunties in the village and a Niece who has just graduated from Med school, I give her her monthly allowance which I know part of which goes to her Ma & Pa, brothers are teachers as is the SiL. 

 

Only once have I had a request for financial assistance, 200000 Baht, because the fruit harvest was particularly bad that year, I lent them the money (3 years ago) because I would rather they deal with me as opposed a nasty money lender, so far 50k Thai Baht has been repaid, no interest, no heavy handed threats, they are honest hard working people, every time we go to visit them we come away with boxes of freshly picked fruit which is distributed amongst our many friends here in Patts, I sometimes think that they are trying to repay the debt with fruit  It ain't gonna work and they know it.

 

You need to have your head on the right way around in this country otherwise you will be scammed, FiL once said to me here is a nice plot of land for you to build a house (Not far from his house) I said no thank you

 

Be careful out there guys.    

 

"Only once have I had a request for financial assistance, 200000 Baht, because the fruit harvest was particularly bad that year, I lent them the money (3 years ago) because I would rather they deal with me as opposed a nasty money lender, so far 50k Thai Baht has been repaid,

 

I sometimes think that they are trying to repay the debt with fruit  It ain't gonna work and they know it."

 

 

I think it has already worked.

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[Golden Triangle]

3 minutes ago, Kadilo said:

 

"Only once have I had a request for financial assistance, 200000 Baht, because the fruit harvest was particularly bad that year, I lent them the money (3 years ago) because I would rather they deal with me as opposed a nasty money lender, so far 50k Thai Baht has been repaid,

 

I sometimes think that they are trying to repay the debt with fruit  It ain't gonna work and they know it."

 

 

I think it has already worked.

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

Very wrong my friend,

 

Rarely a month goes by when my Mrs says to me that Mum is concerned about the debt, they initially offered to repay 100k in one go, I talked it over with the Mrs and basically said why do they want to leave themselves short ? Just give me 50k and pay off some more on the next harvest, I'm not desperate for the cash and it keeps everyone sweet.

 

Don't know why you have a problem with that ?

[Kadilo]

Very wrong my friend,
 
Rarely a month goes by when my Mrs says to me that Mum is concerned about the debt, they initially offered to repay 100k in one go, I talked it over with the Mrs and basically said why do they want to leave themselves short ? Just give me 50k and pay off some more on the next harvest, I'm not desperate for the cash and it keeps everyone sweet.
 
Don't know why you have a problem with that ?

Why would I have a problem? It's your money to do whatever you wish.

I was replying because you are telling people to be "careful out there " after saying you lent 200,000 baht 3 years ago and have only 50,000 returned.

Enjoy your fruit.


Sent from my iPad using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[Been there done that]

53 minutes ago, Kadilo said:

Why would I have a problem? It's your money to do whatever you wish.

I was replying because you are telling people to be "careful out there " after saying you lent 200,000 baht 3 years ago and have only 50,000 returned.

Enjoy your fruit.


Sent from my iPad using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

Yes, one can wonder if he made up the story or that he just is living in a fantasyworld.

[Golden Triangle]

4 hours ago, Been there done that said:

Yes, one can wonder if he made up the story or that he just is living in a fantasyworld.

Tart, having read some of your previous replies I really feel sorry for you, you have nothing good or constructive to add to this discussion. Why would I make up some BS story like that, it's really of no significance to me, they asked, I Lent notice the emphasise on the word lent OK.

 

There are plenty of people on here who have lost far more than 200k Thai Baht, in fact some people have lost millions, so if I wanted to "make up" a story I think it would have been for considerably more than that, lets face it nobody likes to be usurped in the made up stories category. 

 

It's people like you that drag these threads down, if you bothered to read some of the posts in this thread from early on you may get educated as to the whys and wherefores of life here and the many schemes dreamt up by Thai girls and their devious families, so do yourself and me a favour, don't reply to this go back to the rock that you clambered from under and <deleted>. Moron.

Edited September 11, 2017 by Golden Triangle
missed a word out :)

[Been there done that]

59 minutes ago, Golden Triangle said:

Tart, having read some of your previous replies I really feel sorry for you, you have nothing good or constructive to add to this discussion. Why would I make up some BS story like that, it's really of no significance to me, they asked, I Lent notice the emphasise on the word lent OK.

 

There are plenty of people on here who have lost far more than 200k Thai Baht, in fact some people have lost millions, so if I wanted to "make up" a story I think it would have been for considerably more than that, lets face it nobody likes to be usurped in the made up stories category. 

 

It's people like you that drag these threads down, if you bothered to read some of the posts in this thread from early on you may get educated as to the whys and wherefores of life here and the many schemes dreamt up by Thai girls and their devious families, so do yourself and me a favour, don't reply to this go back to the rock that you clambered from under and <deleted>. Moron.

Just read your signature, you must be out of wine 

[George FmplesdaCosteedback]

14 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

it probably helps to believe in reincarnation

I think you hit the nail with that, although I'm not so sure about it being a great way to live: without care or responsibility...

It is not a death wish, it is an acceptance of the inevitable that Thais use as a basis.

 

 

[George FmplesdaCosteedback]

15 hours ago, Odysseus123 said:

I asked my wife about the lack of response from the family.

Her reply was...

"If he dies he dies.If mum dies she dies..and if I die I die..."

 

Leaving me to contemplate whether this was some kind of golden answer to the moral and ethical morass that I found Thailand to be.

 

Detached fatalism.Never mind,I think too much.

Ody, you are obviously a very caring, generous and responsible person, but I have to agree you are over thinking this.

The locals have a different outlook.

If Uncle Somchai constantly drinks copious amounts of Lao Khow and rides home plastered every night they know, like a better bet then the lottery, he will meet a sticky end sooner or later. Life insurance is a great thing for others, but for the person him/herself just a way of passing on some money to those you will leave behind.

There is nothing to stop you taking out a life policy on me, no medical after 60, so you could cash in if I peg out at 70+.

Not a bad gamble as I smoke, drink, ride a scooter and travel in mini buses...

 

There are anomalies in western culture that I really can't understand too, but I put them down to religion mostly.

Thai culture/religion is a minefield!

 

Take care.

G

 

 

 

Edited September 11, 2017 by George FmplesdaCosteedback

[Odysseus123]

George,

 

"Thai culture/religion is a minefield!"

 

Yes-it most certainly is.

 

But..you are right and I am overthinking the issue except that,even tho' I have physically escaped that environment,I am now experiencing the inevitable blowback with issues that may take months to resolve.

 

I found/find that dealing with irrational,demanding,self serving people corroded my soul,made me neglect my health and placed me in a position that took huge amounts of energy to escape from.

 

I still maintain my position that many aspects of the place was a moral and ethical morass-and this certainly seemed to influence the behaviour of more than just a few expatriates that I met there as well,They were comfortable with it and I was not.

 

You know.I saw a number of people being fleeced within a inch of their bank account's life-no other expat ever said anything...just another one crashing and burning..and even if you did say something you inevitably drew flak yourself.

 

Such is life.

Edited September 11, 2017 by Odysseus123

[Been there done that]

1 hour ago, Odysseus123 said:

George,

 

"Thai culture/religion is a minefield!"

 

Yes-it most certainly is.

 

But..you are right and I am overthinking the issue except that,even tho' I have physically escaped that environment,I am now experiencing the inevitable blowback with issues that may take months to resolve.

 

I found/find that dealing with irrational,demanding,self serving people corroded my soul,made me neglect my health and placed me in a position that took huge amounts of energy to escape from.

 

I still maintain my position that many aspects of the place was a moral and ethical morass-and this certainly seemed to influence the behaviour of more than just a few expatriates that I met there as well,They were comfortable with it and I was not.

 

You know.I saw a number of people being fleeced within a inch of their bank account's life-no other expat ever said anything...just another one crashing and burning..and even if you did say something you inevitably drew flak yourself.

 

Such is life.

Says more about them then about you.

 

Remember, you live for yourself, not for how others perceive you.

 

Just make sure that the mirror never cracks when you look into it.