Thai wife problems

[OmarZaid]

On 7/29/2017 at 4:40 PM, CharlieH said:

Without wishing to sound cruel, she went fishing, got a bite, reeled it in, you were amusing and helped her polish her English and her act. It was then catch n release, and on to a bigger fish !! (IMHO).

Yup ....  move on  .... 

[hgma]

On 7/29/2017 at 4:50 PM, colinneil said:

She said she would never lie to me.

Are you for real??

Every woman lies, i have one of the best wives a man could wish for, but sometimes even she lies.

Put it down to experience and move on.

Orientals are taught to shut up when its not profitable to say anything, vice versa they never lie, just don't tell you anything which they believe could disadvantage their position.

So really when asked for the truth .....don't ..its absolutely useless.

Only what you see, and can touch is real, the rest surreal.

It's called survival.

[Destiny1990]

Just get over it and marry another one u are being very sensitive.

[peter48]

Never marry a Thai girl just have partnership and then you can walk when it goes  wrong. At last 90% go wrong within 5 to 10 yrs. Best solution live here and have girl friends. Go Europe you are into debt. Kids, schooling,  divorce , sharing property , send money home, big poblems. Stay Thailand better for older guys. You keep control. Just keep as GF 

[oldhippy]

Why marry her?

 

In my case, because I enjoy travelling with her. A kangaroo wedding (monkee wedding) would not make the visa thing easy.

 

Otherwise yes, do like most Thais do around here: ty the knot only litterally.

I asked my wife: why did daughter of BiL marry?

A: she pregnent.

Next I asked: also ampur?

A: no, BiL worries about his land if they divorse.

Thais don't trust Thais. There is a lesson for us farangs in that.

I could not get an answer about what happened to the 1 mln sinsod - probably it was only for the facebook pic...

[Dogmatix]

The problem is that lonely farang men who cannot find an ideal partner at home meet Thai hookers (who are usually better looking and younger than the women at home who might be interested in them) and try to mold them into some sort of projection from their own imagination, ignoring all the evidence of what they really are and what type of culture they come from.  Since the men cannot communicate with them very well or understand what they are saying to their friends, family and other Thai people, they never get a good idea of what the women are really thinking, so they just project their own thoughts into them and the women are more than happy to play along.  

 

The OP has learned a painful and expensive lesson but he is lucky that he learned it relatively early on.  It would have been far worse, if he had already brought her home and had children with her, only to find that she was carrying on with other blokes and likely to run off, if she found someone she thought was wealthier and/or more generous.  Now he will be able to learn to approach Thai hookers in the same way he would approach Thai hookers at home, since they are really not much different and refrain from falling in love with a virtual image projected from his own imagination.     

[csabo]

1. "I met my wife a year ago" should never be a phrase uttered by any man. 

2. Women are not souvenirs. You don't take them back home. Especially visa digging whores. 

3. 35 is not "middle aged" 

4. You teach people how to treat you. When you caught her lying you broke up. When you got back together you taught her that you are a spineless loser who is easily controlled. Everything you got after that you deserved. 

 

Get out as fast as you possibly can. 

[Suradit69]

Quote

Thai wife problems

Sounds like you have/had relationship problems regardless of her being Thai and you were trying to make a real person conform to some childish dreamworld that existed only in your imagination (and that you've never heard of paragraphs).

 

On 7/29/2017 at 3:38 PM, sanemax said:

f she was a professional felang player , where her whole life revolves around relieving felangs of as much money as they can , it would change the situation . 

Would it matter if he were a sex tourist thinking he could buy romance?  Chicken pluckers only exist if there are chickens begging to be plucked.

[csabo]

1 hour ago, hgma said:

Orientals are taught to shut up when its not profitable to say anything, vice versa they never lie, just don't tell you anything which they believe could disadvantage their position.

So really when asked for the truth .....don't ..its absolutely useless.

Only what you see, and can touch is real, the rest surreal.

It's called survival.

Did you just say "Orientals"?? 

[csabo]

3 minutes ago, Suradit69 said:

 

Would it matter if he were a sex tourist thinking he could buy romance? 

Yes. Sex for money is honest. 

[oldhippy]

1 minute ago, csabo said:

1. "I met my wife a year ago" should never be a phrase uttered by any man. 

2. Women are not souvenirs. You don't take them back home. Especially visa digging whores. 

3. 35 is not "middle aged" 

4. You teach people how to treat you. When you caught her lying you broke up. When you got back together you taught her that you are a spineless loser who is easily controlled. Everything you got after that you deserved. 

 

Get out as fast as you possibly can. 

Ah at last.

You used the word whore, not bar girl like everybody else.

 

Mind you, I can imagine that I could possibly get so depressed / so psychotic / so drunk and so tired of mrs Palmers, that I would rent - a - whore. I am only human, and of the male persuasion. Not blaming the average whore users, only blaming the average sex tourists.

 

But I would never be so hypocritical as to call her a bar girl.

[oldhippy]

5 minutes ago, Suradit69 said:

Sounds like you have/had relationship problems regardless of her being Thai and you were trying to make a real person conform to some childish dreamworld that existed only in your imagination (and that you've never heard of paragraphs).

 

Would it matter if he were a sex tourist thinking he could buy romance?  Chicken pluckers only exist if there are chickens begging to be plucked.

Farang bashing, as usual.

[csabo]

12 minutes ago, oldhippy said:

Ah at last.

You used the word whore, not bar girl like everybody else.

 

Mind you, I can imagine that I could possibly get so depressed / so psychotic / so drunk and so tired of mrs Palmers, that I would rent - a - whore. I am only human, and of the male persuasion. Not blaming the average whore users, only blaming the average sex tourists.

 

But I would never be so hypocritical as to call her a bar girl.

Why sugarcoat it. I don't desparage the profession. In fact I whole heartedly support a person's ability to make an honest adult consenting living in every nation. My personal opinion though is that a stint in the business alters the mind enough to eliminate them from a pool of life partners. As far as the term bar girl that's a phrase that softens the slight to a point where farangs here are not even ashamed to say they married one. Until they tell the friends back home about the little Misses. 

[joecoolfrog]

5 hours ago, petermik said:

Cannot agree Colin,in the four years I,ve been with my GF I,m not aware of any lies........if she ever did I would seriously consider my relationship with her,I know your situation is far more different to mine and some leeway in your case is understandable....good luck and keep smiling

You would be the exception , Thai society is based on keeping face and avoiding conflict. Consequently what we would call 'White lies ' are part of everyday life in Thailand. Took me years to grasp the fact but western style ' honesty ' is not a cultural norm and therefore rare to find.

[oldhippy]

1 minute ago, joecoolfrog said:

You would be the exception , Thai society is based on keeping face and avoiding conflict. Consequently what we would call 'White lies ' are part of everyday life in Thailand. Took me years to grasp the fact but western style ' honesty ' is not a cultural norm and therefore rare to find.

And another difference between farang and thai lies:

When farangs lie, they put in some effort as to make the lie sound truthful.

Thais rely on other's respect for their silly face.

[OldPedro]

Breaking the 5 precepts in Thai Buddhism (thou shall not harm living things, steal, have sex with another's wife or husband, drink to excess or take drugs, and tell lies or gossip) are totally acceptable if justifiable by circumstances in Thai culture. For example, monks eat meat because that's what people give them to eat, people kill or maim in fits of jealousy, Thai men abandon young wives and chase other women when  pregnancy arises, and become hopeless drunks or drug addicts while living off other family members, and women lie, as in this case, to save face......

Hard to understand why most Farangs think they can find true love here, but as  I discovered, and Tennyson wrote...." 'tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all".

[oldhippy]

7 minutes ago, OldPedro said:

Breaking the 5 precepts in Thai Buddhism (thou shall not harm living things, steal, have sex with another's wife or husband, drink to excess or take drugs, and tell lies or gossip) are totally acceptable if justifiable by circumstances in Thai culture. For example, monks eat meat because that's what people give them to eat, people kill or maim in fits of jealousy, Thai men abandon young wives and chase other women when  pregnancy arises, and become hopeless drunks or drug addicts while living off other family members, and women lie, as in this case, to save face......

Hard to understand why most Farangs think they can find true love here, but as  I discovered, and Tennyson wrote...." 'tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all".

But.... but.... they look so innocent.....

 

[Get Real]

Hey! This was a new one. Not for the total story, just for the long way it was put down in this forum. Oh dear, I just wetted my pants by laughing to much.

[ncc1701d]

On 7/28/2017 at 9:21 PM, Superme said:

 Also I believe that someone on this forum will read this and will not make the same mistake as I did.

nice sentiment, but I don't think this will happen. In my experience people are either inclined to want too believe they have found something different or they have no intentions of having a long term relationship. 

[Thingamabob]

The key question is, what is her job ? You appear not to want to answer that. Anyway, strongly suggest you learn from this experience and move on. Hope things go better for you in the future.

[Kinnock]

Did you hear the one about the Thai man who'd been having an on-line conversation with an English girl from Gateshead?  He could speak a little English and he'd learn 't about the UK from James Bond movies, and she could speak a little Thai, and had eaten once in a Thai restaurant on the way home from her job at the Pound Shop.  They found they had so much in common, so he moved to Gateshead to open a chip shop, and they lived happily ever after.

 

No ..... thought not.

[bberrythailand]

NO ! The funniest thing about it is: "I felt that we had such a special connection between us"    hahahahaha... poor you.

[bazza73]

4 hours ago, klauskunkel said:

deleted you from Facebook..., ouch! Can't repair that one.

The world has come to an end when one is deleted from Facebook. The narcissist's paradise lost.

[KKr]

I had a similar experience as OP, about 50 years ago, and after a night out with real friends left it behind..
but in my case I obviously was not deleted on spacebook, unheard of !
the good news is that you will get an easy divorce now that you have proof of (mental) battering and defamation.  

[Tony125]

As someone else mentioned you seem reluctant to say what type job she had maybe don't want a lot  of negative replies? Did you two actually marry or just had Thai blessing ceremony? Too many guys try to taake short cut just meet a girl online never been to Thailand to hang with bar girls and reg Thqi girls and see how the act. many bar or reg girls can be quite captivating, seem so sweet, fun, child like , attractive, demure , shy , so different than girls back home. So many guys come here get involved with a bar girl or reg type we tell them look out for problems but soooo many say  "but my girls different"   Everyone who has heard that story give me a like.

You seem even at 35 to be quite naieve walk away and don't get involved with a girl Thai or otherwise so quickly.   Anyone can say anything on a PC had  a lot of cases years ago where guys would send money come over to meet girl and was not even a girl writting but even a farang using his GF pics and telling the other farang who was writing all the things they wanted to hear.

[KKr]

1 hour ago, bberrythailand said:

NO ! The funniest thing about it is: "I felt that we had such a special connection between us"    hahahahaha... poor you.

virtual relationships are the best,
one can live life as one pleases,
do what you want and love and be loved in virtuality at the same time.
Best is not to meet at all and dream on.

[digger70]

Thai Wife problems? Haven't we All,just work around them,,,,If not, Go go fly away,,,,

[georgemandm]

3 hours ago, joecoolfrog said:

You would be the exception , Thai society is based on keeping face and avoiding conflict. Consequently what we would call 'White lies ' are part of everyday life in Thailand. Took me years to grasp the fact but western style ' honesty ' is not a cultural norm and therefore rare to find.

How true are your words about Thai society.

[oldhippy]

27 minutes ago, KKr said:

virtual relationships are the best,
one can live life as one pleases,
do what you want and love and be loved in virtuality at the same time.
Best is not to meet at all and dream on.

I think that Kleenex managed to smuggle a commercial in?

[smotherb]

On 7/29/2017 at 8:10 AM, steven100 said:

now where have I heard this story before ......

How old did he say he was?