Thai B/f

[alanuk]

Hi All

I am a regular visitor to Thailand, i would very much like to have a Thai B/F but i have failed to find a guy who wants me for me if you know what i mean,and what i am asking for on here is help in were to go to find a normal working gay Thai guy who i might be lucky eneough to click with I am 51 and like a younger guy below 30 looks not important if anyone has any ideas i would be greatfull Thanks

[davethailand]

surely you are not serious, ever been to pattaya.

[ChrisP]

Hi..

Well, in my experience it's certainly not the easiest thing to find a Thai bf who isn't a "money-boy" of some description. BUT, it IS possible.

Don't look around the commercial gay areas though... clubs, bars, saunas.. Look at places where you'll find quality men hanging out. Libraries, museums, coffee shops...

One guy I know sifted thru over 100 respondents to his posting on Gay.Com - BKK Chatroom. Hard work.. but it paid off! He found his LTR.

Good hunting.!

Chris P

Moderator

[alanuk]

Thanks Chris i will give it a try

[ProThaiExpat]

A realist approach is required.

Being a "visitor" to Thailand, implies a two week or a month at a time visits. Who would want a b/f in any country who is away 95% of the time.

A "vacation pal" sounds more like what your interested in, someone available to you each time you visit. Very doable.

However, since you are a "rich" as compared to almost all Thai guys under 30, your money will always be an issue. Since one is a lot freer with money while on vacation, why should you care if you pay for everything, unless you can't afford it.

Many Thais love to have fun with visiting farangs, even refer to them as "husbands', and are proud of having more than one.

"Expectation Management" is the key to getting what you want and being happy with it when you get it. Perhaps you could share more with us about what it is your are looking for in a Thai and what you are willing to give or share with the Thai when you find him?

[Ausiefella]

improper post.

member warned

Edited May 14, 2004 by tukyleith

[ProThaiExpat]

Aussifella's age bias attitude is in the minority around the world and is almost extinct in Thailand, a good status for him to be in.

[Ausiefella]

Extinct, who are you kidding? Its alive and kicking mate, for sure.

[Deadcert]

###### I hate it when posts get deleted.

Aussie Guy what was the general them of your post.

[Ausiefella]

God knows why it was deleted, something to do with this being a gay forum and the moderating is less tollerant, so my warning PM said.

I basically said an old man looking for young man made him a ......... old man! It is another word for unclean, starts with a D and ends in a Y and has a T in the middle.

Thats it.

[ProThaiExpat]

Deadcert: The post was properly deleted in my view.

Making personal attacks and disparaging other members in this forum is not only rude but against the rules.

Calling anyone a derogatory name is attacking them personally and is uncalled for. It only leads to counter attacks and denegration of the thread.

[tuky]

Deadcert: The post was properly deleted in my view.

Making personal attacks and disparaging other members in this forum is not only rude but against the rules.

Calling anyone a derogatory name is attacking them personally and is uncalled for. It only leads to counter attacks and denegration of the thread.

exactly why it was deleted, and I will continue to delete posts in this same fashion.

I understand your frustration deadcert, but forum rules must apply.

if you have a problem with my moderation please take it up with admin, to know who admin is please check The Moderating Team link.

Thanks

tukyleith

[kurgen]

Tukyleigh, I never realised you were so butch and the uniform aswell....

[alanuk]

strange as it may seem Ausiefella i dont thbink of myself as an old man, even less a d----y old man but your entitled to your opinion

[Ausiefella]

cheers...

[jdinasia]

hmmmm 51 that wants younger than 30 .... that's a 21 year spread (at least) ... far greater than the difference to have a son ...

[Ausiefella]

my point, but you can't say anything here, its a gay forum, and moderating is far hotter than elsewhere on Thaivisa. Wonder why?

[Deadcert]

Lets face it there are plenty of "Dirty old men" in Thailand, but is a sobering thought that we will probably all be viewed in the same way by others when we are older, whether in fact we are or not.

tukyleith No problem as I understand the need to keep these boards civil, just fustrated when a deleted post causes you to loose the thread of the converstation.

[ProThaiExpat]

Now that we are past the civilty issue, perhaps we could discuss what "dirty old man" means?

I have heard it used by young people toward those just ten years or even less as a derogatory remark.

Perhaps it is used by people to just put others down and choose the age issue in societies where anything old is undesireable?

Being older than most in society, I have often wondered what would make me a dirty old man. To me, it means an older person who makes uninvited advances toward a younger person, regardless of the actual age of the one making the advance.

Most civilized older men I know, wait until the younger person makes the advance to avoid the categorization. After all, "dirty" comes from the christian/judean concept that anything sexual is "dirty".

Perhaps those who think in terms of "dirty old men" could contribute to what they mean by the term, when they use it and why?

[Deadcert]

Of course anyone older with someone conspicuously younger is going to get labelled a "Dirty Old Man" by someone. Unfortunately we all get older, so at some point, God willing, quite a few who used the term will come to be on the receiving end of its use.

Personally it jumps to my mind when you see some big fat European slavering over some Thai boy or girl who is obviously quite a lot younger. Personally a little restraint in public, and that goes for any age, would go a long way to prevent being labelled in this way.

The Thais do not have the same age constraints we do, but whether this is cultural or out of need I am not 100% certain but I can already hear a chorus of objection to this statement. Certainly Thailand has more than its fair share of "Dirty Old Men" So much so that even at 37 when I told my solicitor I was off to Thailand he gave me the old nudge nudge wink wink treatment., which I hate.

In truth I find it hard to nail what exactly makes a "Dirty Old Man" but would hate being labelled that way.

[Deadcert]

"its a gay forum, and moderating is far hotter than elsewhere on Thaivisa"

Aussie Fella, its because people seem happy to invade the space and spread hostility, although I have never understood this need. This it turn makes us the subject more jumpy and inclined to censor instead of standing our own with reasoned argument.

Personally I like to hear other peoples opinions, no matter if they are offensive or not as usually these people are unable to validate their views and by allowing them a voice you show them up for the fools they are.

[twschw]

Well I guess I am a dirty old man. I just turned 40 and my Thai boyfriend is 27.

So be it, I am still moving to Thailand July 01. If all he wants is my money I will find out soon enough by living day to day with him. If it doesn't work out well so what. I have had relationships here in the US that haven't worked out. Like Thailand holds the monopoly on gold diggers! I don't believe that this is a solely monetary relationship, however one has to be prepared for the worst.

So what I guess I am saying is that you are going to have to spend money if you want a Thai boyfriend. If you are not willing to ,as was stated in an earlier post,

it may be best to find a farang boyfriend.

[Deadcert]

You also need to be

1) Fat

2) Ugly

3) Smelly

Then you qualify

[jdinasia]

Alan

several people here have points. You are looking for a guy young enough at least to be your son or possibly even your grandson. You want them to be stable and have their own income and to be interested in a guy at the very least 21 years older than themselves. It is possible but probable would not be a word I would use.

the other point that was brought up about you not being in Thailand bares even more to the point. I would assume that most Thai men that are in the position to have their own life are looking for more than just a part-time thing!

[Ijustwannateach]

Don't want to be beating a dead horse, but thought I'd mention that I know of at least one 60-something yo who's been offered money by 20-something yo Thais to go with them when he wasn't particularly interested in doing it for fun. That's right, the younger Thais offered the older farang money.

Young Thais aren't all poor. Old guys aren't universally undesirable. And I think anyone who wants to tell someone who's THIRTY that they know his interests better than he does should go ahead and try- yeah- go out to some of these bars where you'll see a 30yo Thai sitting with his 50yo boyfriend, and TELL the Thai he shouldn't be dating such an old guy. Do it in the nasty condescending way you like to do it here, where you feel safe 'cause you're anonymous cowards. I just hope I'm there to see the aftermath.

As a "punch"line, I've been told by Thais in their early twenties that I'm just not old enough yet (I'm in my mid thirties).

"Steven"

[astral]

strange as it may seem Ausiefella i dont thbink of myself as an old man, even less a d----y old man but your entitled to your opinion

That maybe so, but there are rules about what can be posted in these fora,

and abuse is not permitted.

Another moderator

[astral]

Don't want to be beating a dead horse, but thought I'd mention that I know of at least one 60-something yo who's been offered money by 20-something yo Thais to go with them when he wasn't particularly interested in doing it for fun. That's right, the younger Thais offered the older farang money.

It takes all sorts to make the world go round.

Thanks for reminding us.

[ProThaiExpat]

astral: right on as usual.

I once approached a young "hottie" who responded to the invitation of a man in his late seventies "for a massage" This ancient had skin just hanging like a venetian shade.

My approach was "if you like "massage" from an older man, I would be far better at it because I am more fit, implying somwhat younger than the "mummy", my age then 55.

The response was "Your not old enough". The comment was "I like them 75 and older". My best estimate, an age discrepancy of 50 years or more!!

[ChrisP]

I am still moving to Thailand July 01. If all he wants is my money I will find out soon enough by living day to day with him. If it doesn't work out well so what.

twschw... If you're still reading this.. I'd love to know what the result of your relationship was by now...

Cheers

ChrisP

[ChrisP]

Just another view on the "age discrepancy" issue..

Alaways assuming (of course) that you don't have a "money-boy".. You also have to take into account the mental maturity of the guy... there are plenty of 20-somethings who are VERY mature for their age.. and this makes them even more appealing to us older guys...

ChrisP