ballpoint

I visited a curiosity shop earlier. Not one dead cat.

I've seen an advert for a 7.5 tonne lorry driver, starting mid January. I don't think I'm going to make the weight in time.

Sex without love is an empty experience. But as empty experiences go, it's probably the best.

I went up to a homeless man sitting on a bench in the town centre today with a cup of coffee for him. I sat next to him and asked how he'd got in this position. He said to me "You know, three weeks ago I had it all, my own accommodation, a cook, good food, the internet, TV, I used to go to the gym, to the swimming pool, the library, everything" I replied, "Blimey, that's a bit rough, what happened, bad luck, divorce, drugs, alcohol problems"? He said "Nah, I got released from prison"

I can't wait for the day when pigs get wings and will be able to fly. A lot of women will owe me a lot sex.

The former model Katie Price has received a 16-week suspended jail sentence and has been banned from driving for two years after she admitted drink-driving while disqualified and without insurance after a crash near her home in Sussex. Daniel Price, aged 26, from Maidstone, was sentenced to 60 days in prison on 26 October 2021 at West Kent Magistrates' Court in Sevenoaks. He pleaded guilty to driving when above the legal drink-drive limit and failing to stop after a road accident, in Maidstone, on 15 August 2021. Tyrone Price, 32, has been jailed for 3 months after admitting to being behind the wheel of a car that was involved in an accident in Shrewsbury. He was driving a Vauxhall Corsa at approximately 2.20am on December 13 2019 when he lost control and struck a lamppost. I found this information on a Price comparison site

I made a graph of all my past relationships... It has an ex axis and a why axis.