Engagement and sin sod

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎3‎/‎21‎/‎2018 at 9:30 PM, Pilotman said:

My wife joined me in the UK many years ago.  She had to learn my culture and adapt, and it wasn't  at all easy for her.  Many times I had to tell her to do something , or act in a way that was alien to her experience. She did it with good grace, knowing that she was living in a foreign land.  I now do the same now that we are here in LOS.  Why is it that westerners seem to denigrate the phrase 'cultural differences' here but are quick to say that the Thai must conform in the westerners own country.  Could it be double standards at work? 

LOL.

Different.

In LOS the "culture" always seemed to be about me giving her or her family money. Nothing about her paying anything for me.

In my country, both are expected to contribute to the nuclear family finances, and nothing about handing over significant sums of money to the relatives, or building them houses or buying them cars. Gold doesn't even come into it.

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎3‎/‎21‎/‎2018 at 8:33 PM, cat handler said:

Sin Sod is only part of it, you will also have to give gold as well, it’s on display during the ceremony. There is also no guarantee you will get it back, it’s a dowry and can be kept by the parents. Also 100,000 baht is cheap, I was talking to my girl from Surin and her cousin just got married and Sin Sod was 500,000 Baht and 5 Baht of Gold and that was a marriage with a Thai guy. I asked my girl how much would be Sin Sod for her considering she is 29 and has a kid and she said the same, I told her that she was dreaming, I’ve known her for 10 years or so.

Bottom line is if you get it back it’s a bonus but don’t expect to get it back, your a rich farang.

you will also have to give gold as well, it’s on display during the ceremony. There is also no guarantee you will get it back, it’s a dowry and can be kept by the parents.

 

I can't work out if you are serious or posting a satire.

It's not "required" for a farang to give the parents anything, and gold is just .

I know some do, but it's not mandatory. As always, up to us.

 

I asked my girl how much would be Sin Sod for her considering she is 29 and has a kid and she said the same, I told her that she was dreaming,

At least you realise she is taking the piss.

Used goods doesn't get to demand sin sod.

 

 

[MaeJoMTB]

23 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

In my country, both are expected to contribute to the nuclear family finances,

"expected" ........ usually the woman only pretends for the first couple of years, if that.

At the end she 'expects' everything you ever owned or earned plus a bit more.

 

Mind you, if I were paying SinSot, I would require a document certifying virginity before any payment was made.

Edited March 23, 2018 by MaeJoMTB

[tifino]

5 minutes ago, MaeJoMTB said:

"expected" ........ usually the woman only pretends for the first couple of years, if that.

At the end she 'expects' everything you ever owned or earned plus a bit more.

 

Mind you, if I were paying SinSot, I would require a document certifying virginity before any payment was made.

... and these days'n'technology; she can get to remain a virgin, whilst still having kids

[Johnniey]

1 hour ago, MaeJoMTB said:

Probably because the definition of Dowry (woman's parents paying future husband) is the exact opposite to the definition of Sinsot (future husband paying woman's parents).

Did you pay dowry? I did, 100,000 baht.

[MaeJoMTB]

3 minutes ago, Johnniey said:

Did you pay dowry? I did, 100,000 baht.

I paid Sinsot of 100kbht, but that included 100% of the family farm for our kid alone.

(Land has already been signed over to him)

[Johnniey]

3 minutes ago, MaeJoMTB said:

I paid Sinsot of 100kbht, but that included 100% of the family farm for our kid alone.

(Land has already been signed over to him)

So you got a virginity document?

[MaeJoMTB]

4 minutes ago, Johnniey said:

So you got a virginity document?

No I purchased a working womb 2nd hand, but the farm is nice and my son will be very happy with it..

[Johnniey]

2 minutes ago, MaeJoMTB said:

No I purchased a working womb 2nd hand, but the farm is nice and my son will be very happy with it..

You should have paid ZERO then. 

[MaeJoMTB]

17 minutes ago, Johnniey said:

You should have paid ZERO then. 

The farm was worth 250k+

I thought 100K was a good deal.

[Pilotman]

5 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

LOL.

Different.

In LOS the "culture" always seemed to be about me giving her or her family money. Nothing about her paying anything for me.

In my country, both are expected to contribute to the nuclear family finances, and nothing about handing over significant sums of money to the relatives, or building them houses or buying them cars. Gold doesn't even come into it.

That is simply a function of the economic and social  disparity between a  developed and socially sophisticated western country like the UK and a less than socially developed one in Thailand.  It's easy to be critical of the attitude of the Thai family when you have all the  advantages of a western upbringing and education and  the safety net of the western passport. It has taken my wife over 20 years of marriage to understand that she doesn't need to squirrel away gold to secure her old age, or to protect against unexpected medical issues. 

[cat handler]

On 23/03/2018 at 3:02 PM, thaibeachlovers said:

you will also have to give gold as well, it’s on display during the ceremony. There is also no guarantee you will get it back, it’s a dowry and can be kept by the parents.

 

I can't work out if you are serious or posting a satire.

It's not "required" for a farang to give the parents anything, and gold is just .

I know some do, but it's not mandatory. As always, up to us.

 

I asked my girl how much would be Sin Sod for her considering she is 29 and has a kid and she said the same, I told her that she was dreaming,

At least you realise she is taking the piss.

Used goods doesn't get to demand sin sod.

 

 

 

True, it up to us if we want to give anything, just like it’s up to the parents whether they allow their daughter to marry a farang. Of course making them lose face is a good thing, Thai’s love it when you do that.

you don’t know much about Thais do you.

[thaibeachlovers]

47 minutes ago, cat handler said:

 

True, it up to us if we want to give anything, just like it’s up to the parents whether they allow their daughter to marry a farang. Of course making them lose face is a good thing, Thai’s love it when you do that.

you don’t know much about Thais do you.

it’s up to the parents whether they allow their daughter to marry a farang

You seem to have a rather quaint idea about parent's power in LOS. Given my wife was an adult and not a 16 year old kid they couldn't have done anything about it, even if they disapproved.

My ex's family were happy as pigs in clover when they knew she was marrying a farang. It wasn't till they found out I wasn't an ATM for them that it all went bad.

 

you don’t know much about Thais do you.

Somewhat more than you, I think.

I did give the MIL sin sod, but it was just for show, thereby letting her keep her face, and me my money.

 

 

[Johnniey]

1 hour ago, thaibeachlovers said:

you don’t know much about Thais do you.

Somewhat more than you, I think.

I did give the MIL sin sod, but it was just for show, thereby letting her keep her face, and me my mone

Are you still married to that woman's daughter?

[cat handler]

On 24/03/2018 at 8:26 PM, Johnniey said:

Are you still married to that woman's daughter?

 

Most probably not, another cheap Charlie who thinks Thai families work the same as Western families, evidently Thai woman don’t care what their parents think (lol)

[Johnniey]

6 hours ago, cat handler said:

 

Most probably not, another cheap Charlie who thinks Thai families work the same as Western families, evidently Thai woman don’t care what their parents think (lol)

ironic eh?

 

As he hasn't replied I expect you're right.

[cat handler]

6 hours ago, Johnniey said:

ironic eh?

 

As he hasn't replied I expect you're right.

 

Ha ha ha, I was also thinking about the quality of his wife, sounds like the family couldn’t wait to give her away for nothing. Even wealthy Thais would be looking for Sin Sod and for their young virgin daughter with a University degree or Doctorate you wouldn’t be paying 100,000 they would want something significant on display to show what quality daughter they have. If they are wealthy you may get it returned after the wedding but for 100,000 Baht  Isaan ex bar girls you would never see the money again, unless she was a complete dud.