Thai girl affair: a story about pragmatism VS naivety&jealousy... for how long?

[thaibeachlovers]

Just now, Brunolem said:

Actually I have seen many OP disappear after starting a new thread...strange...

 

When I start a new thread, I always follow up by replying to comments...

Good for you, but we live in an age where common courtesy is not normal.

Back when I used to contribute on a well known travel forum, it was quite common for some to come on and ask for detailed travel itineraries for LOS ( all stuff they could have found with a google search ), but despite getting some good advice, many never responded.

[thaibeachlovers]

7 hours ago, TallGuyJohninBKK said:

 

For me, the problem isn't that she had another guy in between. The problem is, according to the OP's account, that she lied about it pretty absolutely. So that's probably a pretty good indication she's been down this road before, and probably would go down it again even if she got more seriously involved with the OP.

 

In order to consider an actual relationship, I don't need a virgin. But I would need someone in whom I can have a reasonable level of honesty and trust.

 

You need to clone yourself then.

Honesty has been a commodity in short supply in the people I have met, and in most cases I was wrong to trust people and usually ended up worse off for doing so.

Sadly, the people I should have been able to trust were and are the worst offenders.

As for honesty, when I have been honest, it usually ended up causing me problems. IMO people don't want honesty. Women don't really want to know if their bum looks big in that pair of slacks, and the girl that asked me why she got funny looks from the guys at work wouldn't speak to me again when I told her that what she was wearing was causing them to lust after her.

I've found out the hard way that lying usually causes less problems for me.

 

I don't need a virgin

No sensible man wants a virgin. She might be the most frigid out of every frigid woman on the planet. She might have some medical problem, and anyway, all the fumbling about and bleeding isn't great way to start a relationship.

Real life isn't like one of those teen movies where the virgin miraculously knows as much about sex as the town bike.

 

Edited January 31, 2018 by thaibeachlovers

[Brunolem]

13 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Have to laugh at that. I mean, have you never been to a Thai night club where there are no farangs except yourself and seen all the Thai girls that have jobs but are not on the game all dressed up and hot to trot?

I am just guessing, but some farangs probably never been anywhere except in a farang part of town. 

Not to mention those who happily throw (your) money at go-go boys, or at cute singers in "singasong bars".

 

Anyway, Thai butterflying is not an exclusivity reserved to foreigners...infidelity between Thais runs wild...even in my remote 50 house/200 people village, scandals abound, and no foreigners are involved!

 

[Brunolem]

52 minutes ago, The white Rider said:

Wow, thank you all, just read all the replies, didn't expect so much feedback in so little time...!

Hard to come to terms with some stuff... but deep down I wanted an objective feedback to open my eyes... I appreciatte that, mates.

I'll try to ask and clarify some things in the next post.

Don't overthink this!

 

Knowing  how to deal with Thai women is like knowing how to play the guitar, you just can't learn by listening the advices of others, you need to practice...a lot!

Even after 20 years in the thick of it (I know much more and have spent much more time with Thais than with farangs), I am still discovering things that leave me speechless!

Edited January 31, 2018 by Brunolem

[InnerCynic]

I remember back in the day when I was in the dating game and had swarms of Thai ladies contacting me every damn day.  Without a doubt I got no less than ten to twenty contacts daily and it was a challenge to keep it all straight.  One gal who stood out was quite obviously a scammer when she "ooohed" and "aaahhhed" and made all sort of ridiculous comments and when I saw her line or whatsapp account I noticed there were a hell of a lot of foreign men giving high praise.  To this I said to her that it looked like she had a "fan club" and from that message on I never once heard back from that gold digging tramp.  Cute she was but obviously a fraud when it came to me.

[sawadee1947]

wow, what a story....and thank you to trust us.

Well, those stories are plenty. A girl who works in a bank got a structured life earning around 15-25 Thousand Baht, depends where and what. There are no way 2 or 3 days off. And normally she would have to support her parents and.....live with the parents....or share a room with another girl in BKK. No way to spend money for flights aso.

So I suspect her to be a free lancer indeed but in a horizontal job.

She likes you as many before or even loves you.

But going for a marriage? No risk no fun.

Maybe in EU she will stop but to be honest.....I doubt it. Once in EU money talks.

Spanish girls are not bad just the opposite if you find the right one.......

Good luck

[The white Rider]

8 hours ago, tonray said:

And BTW how are you to maintain a relationship  ? You are wealthy enough to retire here and be with her?  Or you expect her not to see other guys while you spend 25 years saving for retirement. ?

Hopefully, next year I'll likely be financially free (according to my individual cost of living in Spain).

That's why I was even considering the idea of trying things in Samui... Of course, this morning I'm no longer so up to it 

[The white Rider]

40 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Given a geek is usually a man, I think not. He's been in LOS enough to know what a GIK is.

I said GIK, yep (the thai word). Not Geek.

[pgrahmm]

22 minutes ago, Brunolem said:

Actually I have seen many OPs disappear after starting a new thread...strange...

 

When I start a new thread, I always follow up by replying to comments...

I'm guilty of that.....If I start a thread & there's little interest I'll let it die rather than try & prop it up.....

If it sails along smoothly I'll let it ride & maybe a couple of additional thoughts.....

If/when one goes off the rails I'll try & get it tracking again but leave alone then be amazed how far it actually goes out of whack....

We're all different.....

[thaibeachlovers]

1 minute ago, The white Rider said:

I said GIK, yep (the thai word). Not Geek.

I wish I'd found a GIK. It might have saved me from getting married and I'd be a whole lot richer and happier than I am today.

[The white Rider]

8 hours ago, Berkshire said:

This woman is the classic farang-hunter who dates westerners both as an occupation and for sport.  The OP is the classic mark because he doesn't live in Thailand...which allows her to indulge her craft without supervision.  Sounds like she can speak some English, which gives her access to foreigners.  And she loves the attention given by farangs as she has probably never been considered attractive by the local Thais because of her dark skin.  

 

My advice: Enjoy it while you can and don't fall in love.  Because she will keep dating other guys and lie about it.  And I'm sorry, but doubtful she loves you.

I agree 90% with you... in fact, she's always complaining about her dark skin and "praising" my white skin...

But anyway... if she doesn't love me... why was she crying a river whenever I was leaving? Is it so easy to fake tears?
This would be a good discussion too, guys. What do you think?

[Brunolem]

13 minutes ago, sawadee1947 said:

wow, what a story....and thank you to trust us.

 

As long as he can separate the wheat from the chaff...

[Brunolem]

15 minutes ago, sawadee1947 said:

A girl who works in a bank got a structured life earning around 15-25 Thousand Baht, depends where and what. There are no way 2 or 3 days off. And normally she would have to support her parents and.....live with the parents....or share a room with another girl in BKK. No way to spend money for flights aso.

So I suspect her to be a free lancer indeed but in a horizontal job.

 

How true...all of it!

[pgrahmm]

1 minute ago, The white Rider said:

I agree 90% with you... in fact, she's always complaining about her dark skin and "praising" my white skin...

But anyway... if she doesn't love me... why was she crying a river whenever I was leaving? Is it so easy to fake tears?
This would be a good discussion too, guys. What do you think?

They do that - they attach quickly & then cry at separation.....They recover within a few minutes to a day.....

Many have an insecure needy gene that they just keep feeding with what appears next....

Usually by 48 hours they're back in business but will get misty again at the next contact....

[Brunolem]

10 minutes ago, The white Rider said:

This would be a good discussion too, guys. What do you think?

Don't expect to win the talking contest with a professional charmer!

You are either in or out...it's like smoking, either you smoke or you don't...

Just be aware of what you are dealing with and of the risks you are taking...

 

[The white Rider]

8 hours ago, tonray said:

Yeah... 99% of all Thai girls use LINE  not whatsapp. Maybe a clue

Yep, I already knew this and included it in my first post. Don't get me wrong, of course I know what's going on while we're apart. She loves attention and she's into farangs whenever she parties... even she might be a part time hooker, as many of you already stated.

Correct me if I'm that wrong... It just looks like I'm #1 to her (needless to say I also mean there is a queue in which I lose my place when I'm away)

She has posts on FB in my language (I miss you, I'm so happy with you...), whatsapp profile posts... It's pretty obvious stuff for any other farang wanting to know her better... and that's her losing the oportunnity of someone else taking her seriously (even being easy to get her in the sack...)

My question is:

Would it be any different if we got to remove the distance issue?" It's difficult for me to omit the fact that she really looks like emotionally involved when I'm in LOS and, as I said, she cries a river when I'm leaving...

[Lacessit]

I suggest the OP learn the English translation of the Thai word "gik",. Once he accepts that's what he is, he can relax and enjoy the ride.

[The white Rider]

57 minutes ago, sawadee1947 said:

A girl who works in a bank got a structured life earning around 15-25 Thousand Baht, depends where and what. There are no way 2 or 3 days off. And normally she would have to support her parents and.....live with the parents....or share a room with another girl in BKK. No way to spend money for flights aso.

So I suspect her to be a free lancer indeed but in a horizontal job.

Thanks! as far as I know: when she works 4 days in a row (sometimes all day long) then she can take 2 days off in a row (not 3, you're right). 

Her family lives 5h from Samui. And she shares a condo, she's not living alone.

Edited January 31, 2018 by The white Rider

[sead]

Been there, done that. 

Its all a game for her and you wont like it the way she plays it. Not once have a Thai girl made me feel like im Not the only one for her and that after 5 min. 

To sit in Spain and just message and skype all day long just to meet a girl for some weeks a year that will make yourself jealous, depressed just isnt worth it. 

I didnt listen to the advices i got when first coming here and learned the hard way. In Thailand its ok to cheat on your partner.

 

[sometimewoodworker]

41 minutes ago, The white Rider said:

Would it be any different if we got to remove the distance issue?" It's difficult for me to omit the fact that she really looks like emotionally involved when I'm in LOS and, as I said, she cries a river when I'm leaving...

Yes it would, but probably not in the way you would like.

 

Short term complete commitment and emotional involvement seems to be easy for Thai females, specially younger ones. But longer term is a very different thing as it needs hard work. It is certainly possible, SWMBO and I have been together for over 12 years, but not an easy thing.

 

Living in the moment and enjoying it is typically Thai, but then quitting as soon as things get a bit difficult and not thinking longer term is also typically Thai as well.   

[tonray]

Since you seem intent on following this course with said female I have a plan.

 

Tell her you love her and want to spend the rest of eternity ( or at least the next few decades) with her but because of your career she needs to relocate to Spain. You will visit Thailand with her every 2 years but for now she needs till immediately begin studying Spanish so she can qualify for residency. Let's see how much she really wants you...or not.

 

And BTW if you are not ready for this why are you wasting our time ?

54 minutes ago, The white Rider said:

My question is:

Would it be any different if we got to remove the distance issue?" It's difficult for me to omit the fact that she really looks like emotionally involved when I'm in LOS and, as I said, she cries a river when I'm leaving...

[Berkshire]

1 hour ago, The white Rider said:

I agree 90% with you... in fact, she's always complaining about her dark skin and "praising" my white skin...

But anyway... if she doesn't love me... why was she crying a river whenever I was leaving? Is it so easy to fake tears?
This would be a good discussion too, guys. What do you think?

I hate to break it to you, but some of these girls can cry crocodile tears on demand.  It's happened to me and probably quite a few guys.  That's not how you can judge her devotion to you.  I can go down a laundry list, but do you call her regularly?  Can you always reach her?  If you get the "didn't hear the phone" or "my battery dead" or "didn't have my phone with me" or some other excuse on a regular basis, be afraid.

 

A long distance relationship with these kind of girls is almost impossible. 

[Colabamumbai]

When you live in Thailand you will know that crying is not allowed. Whether it is in a hospital with broken bones and in need of morphine, or when saying good bye.

[KIWIBATCH]

Whats the difference between a Thai hooker and a Thai GF....the gf is just a little smarter

 

[theguyfromanotherforum]

9 minutes ago, KIWIBATCH said:

Whats the difference between a Thai hooker and a Thai GF....the gf is just a little smarter

 

 

And a wife?

[mikiea]

19 hours ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

Wow....such a big essay about another Thai hooker.

 

"Joy"ce, parties at Khaosan, uses tinder.....

 

All the red flags including her nikname.....gimme a break

a ho by any other name is still a ho ...you cant fix them ,.... if you can afford it , enjoy them , but know this , there are others . they come and go in shifts . you are one of many . 

[mikiea]

3 hours ago, KIWIBATCH said:

Whats the difference between a Thai hooker and a Thai GF....the gf is just a little smarter

 

the gf knows which pocket your money is in ....haha haha haah 

[Rc2702]

Clearly this butterfly has a range of FB profiles. Thai profiles and farang. 

[gunderhill]

No!

[catman20]

12 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I did that once to a very nice Thai GF and the result wasn't pleasant. I think she cried for about 2 hours, and she was ready to walk out the door right there and then.

Never saw her again, but she really was lovely, so not something I'd do again .

i would not put up with that sort of crap, if a woman/child started all that crying with me id be the one walking out and she could choose to stay there or come with me. 

i would of dumped her before she started spending my money on lots of food shes not going to eat and then leave. maybe you should try to make better choices with women and not children. ive said this 4 or 5 times to women over the years and its never had the effect that you experienced. she should respect you and YOUR money. she was not a keeper 

Edited January 31, 2018 by catman20