The Mother in law

[Suradit69]

3 hours ago, hellohello123 said:

I assume its a bit hard to not buy them a house after gloating to them how much of a go getter you are on your pension.

Yes, so many guys act like they're Diamond Jim when they're all about impressing everyone at first and then they act surprised when friends and family think they should spread it around a bit.

[hellohello123]

3 hours ago, NanLaew said:

I suspect my MiL buying my truck with her money and putting it in my name will probably do your tiny little head in.

 

But never mind, eh? As you say, it is their business and thereby absolutely NONE of yours.

 

Bloody noobs....

A bigger tax deduction? :):):)

[smotherb]

No idea why anyone would buy anyone else a house and then complain about it. I do not buy houses or support my in-laws; why should I? If my wife insisted, she would no longer be my wife. However, as has been said, it is up to you. My position is simple. I will gladly give her family as much money as they give my family; what could be more fair.

 

However, after several years of marriage, and the in-laws not keeping their hands out; I had come to love them. They are good people and when they saw I loved their daughter, they accepted me and treated me as their son. When my father-in-law was sick and needed dialysis; they could not afford it; I wanted to pay for it. That is incorrect; WE wanted to pay for it. You see, my wife has worked all along and significantly contributed to our assets. So, it was indeed OUR money, not just mine.

 

There is a difference between supporting in-laws and helping family when they need it.

[baansgr]

Because they are idiots 

[mogandave]

Op, would you buy your mother a house?




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[cookieqw]

was up country with a girl at her parents home big thai style living rooms up stairs,  she said she wanted her house next door on their spare land,  she did get it  not thru me but another faring,  i think its a bit of insurance,  shes happily settled in uk so i reckon other family members are getting the use of it. 

[NanLaew]

1 hour ago, possum1931 said:

I am not trying to get at you, but is it not a bit stupid to pay a sin sot in the first place, it is a Thai custom, not yours.

...and last time I looked, this was Thailand and the 'silly old farangs' were marrying Thai girls in Thailand.

 

One can refuse to pay sinsodt without silly excuses of cultural differences but if it's really important to anyone, they can always get married in their home country and feel totally superior.

[NanLaew]

1 hour ago, kolkolkol said:

In Korea , where it is considered as Asia, parents buy their children a home to settle in after marriage.

If it matters so much, why are you posting this in a Thai forum on a thread that is debating Thai culture?

 

PS. The Chinese who AFAIK are also Asian, have a totally different cultural rule book.

 

 

[apetryxx]

I first met my wife about 20 years ago and she had just bought a house in a nice Bangkok suburb for herself, mother and sister. I met her while working for the same company and was impressed with her taking responsibility for her family after Dad took off. We were married several years later and the two of us happily pay for the house to this day plus expenses for her Mom who lives there. We have our own home elsewhere, retain ownership of the Bangkok house, stay there when we’re in town and everyone is happy. I’m lucky to have a talented wife, industrious in laws am quite willing to help out where needed. What goes around comes around.

[KKr]

8 hours ago, Lamkyong said:

my mother in law gave my wife the house we live in   all i did was spend some cash to modernize/upgrade  to make for comfortable living

Good for her. Shows love for her daughter and respect for you.
Now, that begs the question, does your wife have a sister who might be tempted to discuss having dinner with a handsome, athletic, sporting European features but nevertheless mentally young but not childish,  person of the opposite sex ?

[LeoTex]

I tiled the ex mother-in-laws kitchen once, does that count.

 

BTW, she purchased the tile and adhesive.

 

LeoTex

[pailyn]

I am Thai and my husband is American. I married him almost 10 years ago. He never give anything or

money to my parents and not even pocket money to me. Moreover I have to spend my own previous saved money for my personal expenses and also local market shopping goods even though I am retired and have no income. 

[sateuk]

8 hours ago, NanLaew said:

I suspect my MiL buying my truck with her money and putting it in my name will probably do your tiny little head in.

 

But never mind, eh? As you say, it is their business and thereby absolutely NONE of yours.

 

Bloody noobs....

Your mil bought you a truck with her own money and put in your name,  you hit the jackpot there most people here pay the Thai family not other way around you must of married into big money otherwise never would happen! 

[zaZa9]

Havent read any of the responses...

But I ride my scoot and sometimes  I start thinking , "How would I build my Thai dream house ?"

Then I go around a bend and almost get clipped by a happy local  Thai home owner in his new Fortuner on my side of the road and think , "Maybe its better I keep MY money for things like keeping myself alive !"

 

Its  grand relationship one has in Thailand if your Thai woman would/could  sell the house  in her name and everything else as well  to keep you alive. I just dont want to test it ...

[Thongkorn]

My Mother in law lives in Our house, best thing i ever did, she is always happy and helpful, got her own Job selling food, never asks for anything, she has a heart of gold,

[lannarebirth]

12 hours ago, Classic Ray said:

It's just a cultural difference. In the West, old people in need either live in their offspring's house or in elder accommodation, with any shortfall in funds made up by pension or the welfare state.

 

In Asia, it is the responsibility of the offspring to care for their parents and in some cases their siblings, family first, no welfare state. Buying houses is part of the process. Never helped me as my wife does not get on with her grasping parents, who never looked after her as a kid, so they will get nothing from us.

 

It's not a cultural difference it is an economic difference. After all it was not so long ago that extended families shared accomodations in the West. Now it is the breaking up of families that drives the economy. Get a divorce, pay for 2 houses and furnishings instead of one.  Pay remittances to the old folks with money you are borrowing from the grandchildren so they too can can fuel the never enough "growth" on which those societies depend.

[473geo]

7 hours ago, pailyn said:

I am Thai and my husband is American. I married him almost 10 years ago. He never give anything or

money to my parents and not even pocket money to me. Moreover I have to spend my own previous saved money for my personal expenses and also local market shopping goods even though I am retired and have no income. 

Judging by many of the comments on these forums, you are not alone, people can be very selfish. Many have possibly never experienced the joy of giving.

[jacko45k]

15 hours ago, NanLaew said:

I suspect my MiL buying my truck with her money and putting it in my name will probably do your tiny little head in.

 

But never mind, eh? As you say, it is their business and thereby absolutely NONE of yours.

 

Bloody noobs....

I don't understand why she would need to buy your truck off you and then put it in your name, it simply sounds like she gave you money?

If you actually mean she bought you a truck, that is really nice. My MIL couldn't afford to buy a spare tyre and is supported by money I give my Mrs.

[Chimp]

My wife and I tore down my MIL's dilapidated home and built her a new one.  Because she is an only child we knew that she would inherit the home and it was an investment in her future.  In addition, whenever we are in Thailand we have a place to stay which makes our visits enjoyable and stress-free.  After visiting Thailand dozens of times over the past 30 years we have decided that Thailand is not in our future as a potential retirement location.  As a result, we gave our interest in my MIL's home to my wife's cousin and family.  They have taken ownership of the property so there is no going back.  It was money well spent, just to see the joy and pride that my MIL had when we had the housewarming and when family and neighbors come to visit made it well worth it. At the time we built, the baht was weak and the price of the home was less than the cost of most new cars. No regrets.

[chicowoodduck]

Why you ask?   Simple, because they are dumb as a box of rocks.....??

[EVENKEEL]

39 minutes ago, chicowoodduck said:

Why you ask?   Simple, because they are dumb as a box of rocks.....??

Or it could be they have good money and in the whole scheme of things makes the man feel good doing a good deed. Some folks have a s%it load of money and some don't, simple as that. 

 

Or a few sandwiches short of a picnic basket.

[Rodwalloper]

19 hours ago, johnmcc6 said:

I replaced a second hand  tin shed for a proper kitchen and will soon do a bathroom make over. Why? Because I can. They have never asked a thing from me. They also returned sin sot money. Trying to live at their age with no water pressure and a bucket is not on. It's all under the heading of family.

thats fair enough

[NoshowJones]

19 hours ago, possum1931 said:

You will find out that in most cases, the guy is well off, and is also a member of the fat, ugly, tattooed, facial haired brigade, who can only get a wife by buying her mother a house as well as his wife and looks after them financially, and is usually about thirty years older than his wife, and is too stupid to understand that it is very likely that his wife is also going to have a Thai boyfriend who he thinks is her brother.

I think it is quite obvious that you

 

19 hours ago, possum1931 said:

You will find out that in most cases, the guy is well off, and is also a member of the fat, ugly, tattooed, facial haired brigade, who can only get a wife by buying her mother a house as well as his wife and looks after them financially, and is usually about thirty years older than his wife, and is too stupid to understand that it is very likely that his wife is also going to have a Thai boyfriend who he thinks is her brother.

Tweedle Dee. I think it is quite obvious why you reacted with a "sad". But not to worry, it takes all sorts to add to the entertainment in a public forum. 

[smutcakes]

Reading these types of thread it really is no surprise why so many expats have one or more failed marriages behind them in the west.

 

When you are married, you are a partnership, and in my view you should support one and others family if the circumstances are correct. The fact that most will be in a position to assist the Thai family more than the farang is just the way it is in terms of the necessity and cost.

 

It seems so many have such a defensive attitude and lack of trust in their partner or their partners families.

 

 

[transam]

6 minutes ago, smutcakes said:

Reading these types of thread it really is no surprise why so many expats have one or more failed marriages behind them in the west.

 

When you are married, you are a partnership, and in my view you should support one and others family if the circumstances are correct. The fact that most will be in a position to assist the Thai family more than the farang is just the way it is in terms of the necessity and cost.

 

It seems so many have such a defensive attitude and lack of trust in their partner or their partners families.

 

 

I had three UK failed marriages and I can honestly say say that each one failed for totally different reasons..

[smutcakes]

Just now, transam said:

I had three UK failed marriages and I can honestly say say that each one failed for totally different reasons..

Sure, but the prevailing attitude among people over here and married later in life is very defensive and un trusting, a me vs the world type attitude, everyone out to get them.

 

That is a generalization but it seems to be fairly prevalent.

[MaeJoMTB]

11 minutes ago, transam said:

I had three UK failed marriages and I can honestly say say that each one failed for totally different reasons..

I only had one failed UK marriage, and it failed because women (I have shagged) can't be trusted.

I've had another 3 live in lovers outside the UK where the relationships failed for exactly the same reason.

AWALT. (All Women i've shagged Are Like That)

Edited February 28, 2018 by MaeJoMTB
spelling

[transam]

3 minutes ago, smutcakes said:

Sure, but the prevailing attitude among people over here and married later in life is very defensive and un trusting, a me vs the world type attitude, everyone out to get them.

 

That is a generalization but it seems to be fairly prevalent.

After my last UK divorce with a lady l had been with for over twenty years and the way she tried to stitch me up, l now trust no lady..

Having been in LOS for many years and knowing the facts of a few farangs being stitched up really does reinforce the way l think..

[473geo]

I've never found the need to be concerned about how a total stranger spends his money.......

 

The passing interest of others appears to be an excuse to slag people off..........no more no less

 

 

[Rodwalloper]

17 minutes ago, smutcakes said:

Reading these types of thread it really is no surprise why so many expats have one or more failed marriages behind them in the west.

 

When you are married, you are a partnership, and in my view you should support one and others family if the circumstances are correct. The fact that most will be in a position to assist the Thai family more than the farang is just the way it is in terms of the necessity and cost.

 

It seems so many have such a defensive attitude and lack of trust in their partner or their partners families.

 

 

I never said it was wrong to buy a home or foolish, you must read all threads before you jump on board.

i said its wrong if you do it for the wrong reasons.

I am not actually against it i feel that a home should not be bought to make you feel good, to ensure the missus does not leave, or any other reason other then as an investment which benifits her and you later, or because u love the old girl and want to buy it for her, for her not to make you feel good.