Whats wrong with you foreigners

[rott]

Context is everything. In central Bangkok or one of the resorts I would no more acknowledge a western stranger than I would in London. In small town Thailand it is a different matter. And if I say hello to somebody it does not mean that I am desperately lonely, or want an invitation for tea, or have the slightest desire to have anyone calling on me for tea. I just find it odd the way some people act, the fear of making eye contact etc. And the people I mix with here seem to feel the same. But true enough it can backfire and some can be hard to get rid of, the nutters are not all in Pattaya.

[The manic]

56 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

If they were Thais it would be "Sawatdee khap".

If they were Malay it would be "Selamat pagi" if it was in the morning and "Selamat tengah hari" in the afternoon.

Etc.

Hello or Hi is a pretty international greeting for all nationalities and is generally understood. 

[sledpull]

I relate to your comments on verbal niceties! On my 0 Dark 30 bike rides, I say hello in Thai to people I see! Morning dawn worshipers usually respond with a quick smile! 

[Gecko123]

Let's talk about the elephant in the room....

 

... the correlation between anti-social behavior and the sex industry. Not going off on a moralist tangent here, just making a sociological observation. From the newbie taking a bar girl back to his hotel for the first time to the couple who have been happily married for 40 years, there's a bar girl stigma which hangs over Thai-foreigner relationships here, whether it's justified or not. Foreigners, especially tourists and new comers, often assume that any Thai woman with a foreign man is a prostitute. Thais, while less judgmental, often make similar assumptions. This puts people on the defensive and cautious about opening themselves up to being judged. In additon, a disproportionate number of guys who have poor social skills or personality quirks are attracted to Thailand because of its sex industry and reputation for having friendly and outgoing people. So you're going to run into a fair number of guys who struggle with personal interactions.

 

Even in rural areas where it's obvious that 99.99% of the guys met their wives in an entertainment venue, there seems to be constant effort among foreigners to overcome this stigma and claim legitimacy for their relationship. A lot of jockeying about who has more money, the nicer house, the prettier or better educated wife, who's being cuckoled, who has a drinking problem, has health problems, etc. And the Thai wives often join in, judging the Thai women married to foreigners just as harshly: who doesn't really love their husband, who goes down to Pattaya when the husband's out of town, who has a gambling problem, etc.  All this helps breed a fair amount of distrust and suspicion.

 

Some people cope by constantly trying to assert the moral superiority and legitimacy of their relationship while dismissing all other foreign guy - Thai woman relationships as illegitimate. Others try to shield themselves by cocooning themselves off from the world and avoiding social contact. The healthiest are family oriented, develop hobbies and pursuits, travel, exercise, and find ways to keep mentally and physically active while remaining open to new social opportunities.

 

My advice to anyone who is frustrated with the social climate in Thailand's expat community is to learn Thai as much as you can and try to build a more Thai centered social life. There is another fascinating and interesting world out there if you make the effort to explore it. If that isn't attractive or feasible, I'd consider moving, because regrettably the dynamic in Thailand's expat community is probably not going to be changing in the near future.

 

Edited March 27, 2018 by Gecko123

[Stevemercer]

Well, that sort of killed the conversation!

 

[HLover]

1 minute ago, Stevemercer said:

Well, that sort of killed the conversation!

 

And gave a headache.

  He is more insecure than my teenage female roommate.

[Gecko123]

16 minutes ago, Stevemercer said:

Well, that sort of killed the conversation!

 

Like I said...the elephant in the room. Defined as something nobody wants to talk about.

[Gecko123]

15 minutes ago, HLover said:

And gave a headache.

  He is more insecure than my teenage female roommate.

No need to get personal here HLover. Sorry if I hit a nerve.

[MaeJoMTB]

59 minutes ago, Gecko123 said:

Foreigners, especially tourists and new comers, often assume that any Thai woman with a foreign man is a prostitute.

Down in Hua Hin last week, most of the female tourists didn't seem to have a clue what all the Thai women sitting outside the bars were for (about 10 in a row outside each bar in BintaBaht and the adjoining Sois). I'm always gobsmacked at the ignorance of tourists in Thailand.

[MaeJoMTB]

1 hour ago, Gecko123 said:

there seems to be constant effort among foreigners to overcome this stigma and claim legitimacy for their relationship.

My former wife in the UK was a whore pretending to be a schoolteacher.

My current wife in Thailand doesn't pretend to be anything.

AWALT, that's what feminism has given us!

[Hummin]

2 minutes ago, MaeJoMTB said:

Down in Hua Hin last week, most of the female tourists didn't seem to have a clue what all the Thai women sitting outside the bars were for (about 10 in a row outside each bar in BintaBaht and the adjoining Sois). I'm always gobsmacked at the ignorance of tourists in Thailand.

Thats what you think? 

 

Spain back in the 70íes I was just a small kid, but I knew what those ladies was, and what they did already back then. It is just normal world wide. Some places more than others, but same shit same vending. 

[Hummin]

1 minute ago, MaeJoMTB said:

My former wife in the UK was a whore pretending to be a schoolteacher.

My current wife in Thailand doesn't pretend to be anything.

AWALT, that's what feminism has given us!

The trick is to find the duck that quaks same way as you do :D

 

If it talks like a duck, talk like a duck and lucks like a duck, it is probaly a duck ;-) an old saying

[Odysseus123]

8 minutes ago, Gecko123 said:

Like I said...the elephant in the room. Defined as something nobody wants to talk about.

Well said,but it is ever present.

 

The first conversation I had with a chap from the Netherlands started with him saying..

 

"I have never had to pay for sex in my life!"

I surveyed his extensive hacienda and replied "Haven't you?"

 

That elephant also accompanies you back to your homeland.

Edited March 27, 2018 by Odysseus123

[MaeJoMTB]

1 minute ago, Hummin said:

Thats what you think? 

 

Spain back in the 70íes I was just a small kid, but I knew what those ladies was, and what they did already back then. It is just normal world wide. Some places more than others, but same shit same vending. 

Didn't see any hookers sitting outside bars in Spain during the 70s.

Spent a lot of time on Costa Blanca and Costa Del Sol.

I hear it's different now and sex is openly for sale everywhere.

[Hummin]

Just now, Odysseus123 said:

Well said,but it is ever present.

 

The first conversation I had with a chap from the Netherlands started with him saying..

 

"I have never had to pay for sex in my life!"

I surveyed his extensive hacienda and replied :Haven't you?"

 

That elephant also accompanies you back to your homeland.

Same old story about the chaps who think they got it for freee, well I would not brag about it so loud, I know Im the nr one caretaker, no matter what people think or know. No matter what the girl did or ar doing now, there is a reason they hunt foreigners. 

[sanemax]

15 minutes ago, MaeJoMTB said:

Down in Hua Hin last week, most of the female tourists didn't seem to have a clue what all the Thai women sitting outside the bars were for (about 10 in a row outside each bar in BintaBaht and the adjoining Sois). I'm always gobsmacked at the ignorance of tourists in Thailand.

Did you ask the tourists about whether they knew or not ?

Most people dont seem to care now a days

[MaeJoMTB]

Just now, sanemax said:

Did you ask the tourists about whether they knew or not ?

Most people dont seem to care now a days

Dunno,

Just seems strange to me for middle aged white women and their children to be walking down a street lined with hookers.

I wouldn't have done that with my (former) English wife and kids while on holiday.

Maybe you're right and nobody cares any more.

[Hummin]

1 minute ago, sanemax said:

Did you ask the tourists about whether they knew or not ?

Most people dont seem to care now a days

It is a zoo with group tours with a front flag and back troopers, saw that last time two years ago in Walking street. Amazing

[sanemax]

3 hours ago, JAFO said:

LOLOLOL ^^^..... I do not believe I asked you to help me sanemax just told you what I was doing but hey if you wanna come up and hang and help I make great cocktails and throw down a good BBQ. Tonight I will BBQ some lemon pepper chicken wings and the wife will whip up some stir fried veggies.

Today was no yard work. I helped a guy fix his tractor. Bearing froze up and the track sheered a gear. Now I am chillaxing in the house browsing the internet for GoPro accessories...LOL.

How is your day? I 

Had a great day out : Went to Tesco Lotus and got three nods, two smiles and a sexy secretive  wink back , then went to Big C , got four smiles, and two nods , then went to Rimping and didnt get any smiles or nods, so, I had to dish out two smacks in the chops and one head butt

[JAFO]

53 minutes ago, sanemax said:

Had a great day out : Went to Tesco Lotus and got three nods, two smiles and a sexy secretive  wink back , then went to Big C , got four smiles, and two nods , then went to Rimping and didnt get any smiles or nods, so, I had to dish out two smacks in the chops and one head butt

Holy Shitola, seems like an extremely productive day. Any of them dare westerners give ya an evil stare or was all cool and you were good to go?. LOL.

 

 I enjoyed my day with the 5 Thai fellas fixing the tractor. We got it all done up and they finished up the work at the neighbors place. 

[Acemaker]

On 3/25/2018 at 2:03 PM, sanemax said:

I put my head down, pretend to have not heard him and walk in the other direction . I have no desire to talk to strangers , 90% of the time, they want something 

How sad, what a miserable Sod.

[Acemaker]

10 hours ago, sanemax said:

A problem being that I choose my friends and acquaintances .

A problem being that I am happy enough with my family , friends and acquaintances and that I have no need or desire to walk around smiling and nodding at random people .

   Yes, some people are lonely , but I am not the answer to their loneliness issues.

Sad, Sad, Man, you must be a real Barrel of Laughs, your attitude speaks volumes about your current state of mind, i have a sneaking suspicion that you are far lonelier than the Person you choose to belittle, have you thought of Counselling ?

[sanemax]

16 minutes ago, Acemaker said:

Sad, Sad, Man, you must be a real Barrel of Laughs, your attitude speaks volumes about your current state of mind, i have a sneaking suspicion that you are far lonelier than the Person you choose to belittle, have you thought of Counselling ?

No need for such an unpleasant post , I wasnt trying to belittle anyone , but lets face it , a person who walks around Tesco smiling at random people and then comes and posts on an anonymous forum, that no one smiled back at him, doesnt need belittling, as he did a good enough job of doing it himself

[HLover]

7 hours ago, Gecko123 said:

No need to get personal here HLover. Sorry if I hit a nerve.

Not a nerve just a typical reply. To say that non-thais with Thais is the result of prostitution is the same as saying all Africans like watermelon.

It's daft and stupid.

Edited March 27, 2018 by HLover
Added content

[Grumpy Duck]

13 hours ago, MaeJoMTB said:

Farting loudly works much better.

Ya know, they’d really have a laugh if it ended up a shart. At my age & condition that is more a probability. 

Shart=shit/fart aka a wet one

[473geo]

7 hours ago, Odysseus123 said:

Well said,but it is ever present.

 

The first conversation I had with a chap from the Netherlands started with him saying..

 

"I have never had to pay for sex in my life!"

I surveyed his extensive hacienda and replied "Haven't you?"

 

That elephant also accompanies you back to your homeland.

Elephant in the room? Well you see, first you have to give a shiit regarding strangers comments

 

Maybe you guys can work out why some of us are all smiles

 

[Gecko123]

4 hours ago, HLover said:

Not a nerve just a typical reply. To say that non-thais with Thais is the result of prostitution is the same as saying all Africans like watermelon.

It's daft and stupid.

Not really what I said. The main thrust of my post was that (1) the fear of the stigma of prostitution and (2) the disproportionate number of guys with personality quirks attracted to Thailand's sex industry helps explain the antisocial behavior in the Thai expat community. Assuming one agrees that Thailand's expat community has some unique quirks not generally found in other expat communities around the world, it begs the question why this is the case. The primary dynamic which I've been able to identify which explains why this is the case is the prominence of the sex industry, but if others have alternative theories, I'm all ears.

Edited March 27, 2018 by Gecko123

[Ulysses G.]

I say hi unless I am certain they are going to ask me for money. When that happens, I might pretend that I did not hear.

[Lee4Life]

On ‎3‎/‎25‎/‎2018 at 2:28 PM, Hummin said:

In your home country, you say hi to everybody? Im surprised when a falang greats me everywhere I go, when going somewhere in Thailand, because im a western and we suddenly have something in common. Happens more often when I walk with my gf. It is not Normal in my country. Being polite and friendly have nothing to do about greet stranger in the street, or public offices.  Even more od is the strangers greet us when we are sitting at restaurants, and for some reasons need to start conversation with us when we privatly having a meal. 

 

If you live in same condo, at the swimmingpool it is another story, yes you might disturb, but know your time when and where. 

 

Being an American polite, greet everyone with Hi how are you walking past, have always confused me. 

Would you make the same comments of the person(s) doing the greeting were Thai? I don't really see the validity in your comment "It is not normal in my country", if you are here you are not in your country. I have an Asian wife and we are from America, when we are out and about in America it is fairly common for other Asian women, no matter what nation they are from, to greet my wife. Why should another foreigner here greeting you seem abnormal?

   

    I'm not trying to be overly negative about your post, but there are other viewpoints and worldviews, A lot of friendships begin with simple greetings, I, for one, am not going to stop saying hello to Thai's or Foreigners alike when I feel the urge to.

Edited March 28, 2018 by Lee4Life

[Hummin]

@Lee4life

 

You are right, I do greet locals when I feel there is normal, and I smile, but still do not shake hands with tailors, and tell them where I come from. You see my point? 

 

I am also walking smiling in the street, but it is because Im happy, not because I see strangers on street, and feel an urge to smile to them, unless there is a reason. It is just not so complicated, but I think people have a tendency to overthinging, and complicating even simple things, and make a problem out of it. 

 

Example local girls, do they greet you if walking alone? Im talking about rural girls who is not working in the "tourist industry", just ordinary girls out walking alone, and or with a thai man? Do they do that?