Getting GF to leave condo

[joeBr]

Hiya,

was really not thinking I would ever find myself in that situation, but I might have to have my (thai) gf forcefully removed.
I was in a similar situation with her before and I know that she will refuse to comply. That time we somehow made peace and I let her stay.

It is not as bad this time, but I have enough.
I will defo try to resolve it in a good way, but the end result of that must be that she is out.

Unfortunately she does not have any income, no place to stay and on top of that she even has a dog that needs to be taken care of (yes, not allowed in condo, but landlord basically knows - but a lot of problems might come from that anyways).

My plan is to let her know the next days that i want her to leave and give her two days to sort it out. During that time I would book some hotel.

I really dont wanna get police involved but that might be the last resort. The last time she just did not care that I was about to call police. She does not pretend to, she really plays thing until the very end.
So my question would be if anyone knows how to best pull that last card?
I certainly dont wanna call them in the midle of a fight etc.

Any advice really appreciated.
 

Best,
Joe

PS: condo is in my name (rented)

 

Edited March 26, 2018 by joeBr

[poanoi]

this would not be an issue if you were somewhat aggressive & violent,

but as it is, i think the best thing you can do is first go to police and

ask if they would help if she dont comply, and ask to get appropriate phone nr,

and then go back and tell her to leave, and when she dont, phone.

 

neither she or the dog is your problem btw,

take care of yourself is your only priority

and responsibility

Edited March 26, 2018 by poanoi

[joeBr]

2 minutes ago, poanoi said:

this would not be an issue if you were somewhat aggressive & violent,

but as it is, i think the best thing you can do is first go to police and

ask if they would help if she dont comply, and ask to get appropriate phone nr,

and then go back and tell her to leave, and when she dont, phone

Nah, she is the violent one. From the last incidence I even got lots of witnesses who could prove that.
...Yeah I thought so too: Get in touch with police beforehand and get the right number. Police station is right around the corner.
I just wanna avoid getting police involved by all means.

cheers!
 

[bwpage3]

Go to the police BEFORE you tell her and don't get a hotel or all your things might disappear

[swissie]

Change lock.

[mstevens]

Your goal is to get her out of the condo without incident, and ensure that she will never return.

 

As she has no job, you're probably going to have to cough up some money so she can find a place to stay.  A basic room could run 5,000 baht a month and with one month's rent paid in advance and a 2-month deposit, there's 15,000 baht already.  She's going to need some money to get there and money to live on so top it up to 20,000 baht.  That way, she cannot say you threw her out on the street destitute.  OK, so she might not use the money to find a room and might instead go and stay with friends or family.  Np problem, that 20K baht is like "severance pay" and will help her to move on with her life.

 

To get her out of the condo, I'd try and get help from outside to, at the very least, act as a witness.  It could be the condo owner, someone from the condo building's management or, perhaps, someone with "authority".  The problem with that is that with other Thais there seeing her being asked to leave she will lose face and she might become unpredictable.

 

Once she is gone, change the lock and / or add another lock to the door.  Also, instruct security and management at the condo that you and her are no longer an item and under no circumstances is she allowed back in to the building for the purpose of visiting you.

 

Finally, if you engage in anything questionable such as consuming weed or anything else illegal that she knows about and which could be used against you, get rid of whatever it may be now.  A scorned woman can become unpredictable and some Thai women can become vengeful so take steps to eliminate any vulnerabilities you may have.

 

Good luck, and let us know what you do and how it goes.

 

[Led Lolly Yellow Lolly]

Jesus christ. Man up F F S! Tell her to fkuc off and change the locks. She can eat her stupid dog if she get's hungry.

Edited March 26, 2018 by NilSS

[jackdd]

Is she with you 24 hours a day?

If she is ever not at your room, pack her stuff, put it in the Lobby with the security and instruct them to not let her inside anymore. Also tell the condo management about it so they can kick her off from the condo grounds if she doesn't want to leave but hangs out at the lobby to harass you.

Depending on how entry to the building works, ask them to deactivate her keycard.

And as somebody suggested already, change the lock, in case she wants "revenge" and ever gets access to your floor.

[tifino]

 

(if you want a quick reaction force response) - when ring the cops, say you are currently on the balcony - then let their imagination run amok!

[FritsSikkink]

7 hours ago, mstevens said:

Your goal is to get her out of the condo without incident, and ensure that she will never return.

 

As she has no job, you're probably going to have to cough up some money so she can find a place to stay.  A basic room could run 5,000 baht a month and with one month's rent paid in advance and a 2-month deposit, there's 15,000 baht already.  She's going to need some money to get there and money to live on so top it up to 20,000 baht.  That way, she cannot say you threw her out on the street destitute.  OK, so she might not use the money to find a room and might instead go and stay with friends or family.  Np problem, that 20K baht is like "severance pay" and will help her to move on with her life.

 

To get her out of the condo, I'd try and get help from outside to, at the very least, act as a witness.  It could be the condo owner, someone from the condo building's management or, perhaps, someone with "authority".  The problem with that is that with other Thais there seeing her being asked to leave she will lose face and she might become unpredictable.

 

Once she is gone, change the lock and / or add another lock to the door.  Also, instruct security and management at the condo that you and her are no longer an item and under no circumstances is she allowed back in to the building for the purpose of visiting you.

 

Finally, if you engage in anything questionable such as consuming weed or anything else illegal that she knows about and which could be used against you, get rid of whatever it may be now.  A scorned woman can become unpredictable and some Thai women can become vengeful so take steps to eliminate any vulnerabilities you may have.

 

Good luck, and let us know what you do and how it goes.

 

Paying 20K, why it isn't your responsibility. Who gives anything about the losing face, you will if you give her that much. 

[geriatrickid]

10 minutes ago, FritsSikkink said:

Paying 20K, why it isn't your responsibility. Who gives anything about the losing face, you will if you give her that much. 

Because  it's the right thing to do. Appreciably, some people without any decency or class will behave as they always have and then wonder why they are treated  so poorly in return.  I see that response as well thought out and good experienced advice. I would want to be treated  decently too and 20,000 is chump change in the general scheme of things. The answer probably came from a considerate person who is well liked. 

Edited March 27, 2018 by geriatrickid

[geriatrickid]

7 hours ago, NilSS said:

Jesus christ. Man up F F S! Tell her to fkuc off and change the locks. She can eat her stupid dog if she get's hungry.

Decency , compassion and class are alien concepts to some.  You must be a real keeper.

[FritsSikkink]

5 minutes ago, geriatrickid said:

Because  it's the right thing to do. Appreciably, some people without any decency or class will behave as they always have and then wonder why they are treated  so poorly in return.  I see that response as well thought out and good experienced advice. I would want to be treated  decently too and 20,000 is chump change in the general scheme of things. The answer probably came from a considerate person who is well liked. 

The woman is violent, so no reason at all to act considerate. ATM's with no balls are liked very much by gold diggers until you stop paying. One has to be pretty desperate to stay with a violent person in the first place. 

[Led Lolly Yellow Lolly]

I have a very successful marriage thanks.

 

IMO any man that lets his violent girlfriend have a key, considers PAYING her to leave, and in the process leaves his own home to atay in a hotel in the hope she'll leave, is frankly rather pathetic. Maybe he doesn't mind if she uses his toothbrush to clean the dog's @rsehole before she goes. 

Edited March 27, 2018 by NilSS

[geriatrickid]

We do not know the full story do we? Just one side. Perhaps the other person is mentally ill. Compassion and kindness as recommended is the right way to go. When one takes the high road, one is always best served,

[impulse]

1 hour ago, FritsSikkink said:

Paying 20K, why it isn't your responsibility. Who gives anything about the losing face, you will if you give her that much. 

 

Whether we want to realize it or not, living with a woman in Thailand is generally seen as a financial arrangement on her part.  Life's a lot easier when you handle things like what they really are, as opposed to what you'd like to think they are- or what they are back home.

 

[rak sa_ngop]

You fell in love with a girl with no prospects, invited her to live with you, probably made all sorts of promises, had free sex for a number of ?months?, and now want to dump her.

 

Fair enough, but she will probably throw 20,000 baht back in your face. She will want a lot more than that! (and I dont't blame her!)

 

[smutcakes]

3 hours ago, jackdd said:

Is she with you 24 hours a day?

If she is ever not at your room, pack her stuff, put it in the Lobby with the security and instruct them to not let her inside anymore. Also tell the condo management about it so they can kick her off from the condo grounds if she doesn't want to leave but hangs out at the lobby to harass you.

Depending on how entry to the building works, ask them to deactivate her keycard.

And as somebody suggested already, change the lock, in case she wants "revenge" and ever gets access to your floor.

You mean pass the messy job off to everyone else rather than handle it yourself? Why the hell should management and condo management be responsible for sorting out the tenants private life.

[tifino]

3 minutes ago, smutcakes said:

You mean pass the messy job off to everyone else rather than handle it yourself? Why the hell should management and condo management be responsible for sorting out the tenants private life.

 

Why?? well, the key word had already been stated in an earlier Post - "Witnesses)

[FritsSikkink]

54 minutes ago, impulse said:

 

Whether we want to realize it or not, living with a woman in Thailand is generally seen as a financial arrangement on her part.  Life's a lot easier when you handle things like what they really are, as opposed to what you'd like to think they are- or what they are back home.

 

"living with a woman in Thailand is generally seen as a financial arrangement on her part."   Don't agree with that. Yes there are that see it that way, like there are in the rest in the world. There are loads of independent woman who don't need the money of their BF as they make there own. Living with a bar girl will certainly increase the chances a lot that the 'relation' will be seen like that of course.

[impulse]

3 minutes ago, FritsSikkink said:

"living with a woman in Thailand is generally seen as a financial arrangement on her part."   Don't agree with that. Yes there are that see it that way, like there are in the rest in the world. There are loads of independent woman who don't need the money of their BF as they make there own. Living with a bar girl will certainly increase the chances a lot that the 'relation' will be seen like that of course.

 

You're right, I was lazy.  My post didn't mention the OP's statement that she had no source of income and no other place to stay.   

 

 

[jackdd]

16 minutes ago, smutcakes said:

You mean pass the messy job off to everyone else rather than handle it yourself? Why the hell should management and condo management be responsible for sorting out the tenants private life.

Because it makes it easier and it's part of their job (not sorting out private problems, but to prevent "intruders" from entering the condo)

[juice777]

The right thing to do the OP has already said she is violent why should he pay her.

She sounds the Normal-type and just wants a free meal why should he pay her now he has had enough of her.

Op just be Firm tell her you want her out Give her 24 hours if she Doesn't go call the police.Change the Lock if you, can tell the security and block all ways of her contacting you.

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[juice777]

"living with a woman in Thailand is generally seen as a financial arrangement on her part."   Don't agree with that. Yes there are that see it that way, like there are in the rest in the world. There are loads of independent woman who don't need the money of their BF as they make there own. Living with a bar girl will certainly increase the chances a lot that the 'relation' will be seen like that of course.

Yes that's what one of my ex's said proudly

"I am a independent woman"

Oh really can I have half the Condo Rent money form you then?

No answer lol


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[jacko45k]

This is a situation that supports the rent don't buy camp.

Then you could just move on yourself.

I would have chucked her in the corridor the day she brought the mutt!

[dotpoom]

You move...simple. Lucky you are only renting.

[torrzent]

Get a new domineering and controlling GF.  Tell the old one that if she wants to stay she has to report to the new one and follow her rules.  Let them work it out between them while you are out drinking beer.  Problem sorted....until next time, then rinse and repeat.

[Deli]

"Removed" my GF also from my Condo. No drama but she asked me if it's ok to move out in the night, as other people would less recognize that she has to leave and not loose face.

Change locks and tell Security ( if there's any ) that she is an unwanted person, once she left. 

[cornishcarlos]

What floor is your condo on ??? Just a thought :)

[cardinalblue]

Most of these girls are not gold diggers if they directly from the bar...they are trying to survive vs the computer savy group and usually a different socio Econ class...

 

they shoukd get a severence package inc dog support given that these relationships were never based on love and respect just lust and security...