The week that was in Thailand news: Jeez! Must pack and take a plane and get me to Blighty once again!

[rooster59]

The week that was in Thailand news: Jeez! Must pack and take a plane and get me to Blighty once again!

 

 

Ever since I came to live in Thailand I have taken my holidays in England, the land of my birth. I am careful never to use the term "home" - I shall leave such words to my esteemed colleague "Dan About Thailand" and all his blogs about expats and their various woes.

 

For me Thailand is home and has been since I first stepped foot in it (or is it her?) in 1982 just as Maggie launched her hordes on the hapless invaders of what the rest of the world called the Malvinas....

 

I shall set off on Wednesday for Blighty though sometimes I crank up the facetiousness and refer to it as Albion. Hardly surprising then that one of my favorite poems is the nostalgic and satirical "The Old Vicarage, Grantchester" by Rupert Brooke that contains the immortal lines:

 

God! I will pack, and take a train,

And get me to England once again!

For England's the one land, I know,

Where men with Splendid Hearts may go. 

 

He wrote this contemplating a trip back to England's shores while living in Berlin and this week Rooster was constantly reminded that the bell was tolling and London would be my home from home for the next three weeks. 

 

After the British Embassy scared their pensioners this week it seemed like many would be obliged to perhaps pack and take a plane permanently. But more of that later.

 

Sure, I am looking forward to England but there is always foreboding when travelling to a strange, foreign land in the mysterious West.  

 

But at least I won't have to get used to the food - I have somehow survived on HP and Marmite, Fried Eggy bread and malt vinegar my entire life. And so long as I don't expound my views on Brexit I should escape without the need to have stitches at Croydon General. 

 

When I first heard the lines of Brooke's poem in a wartime film they filled me with nostalgia. These days I prefer to be more satirical when it comes to how I view the land of my forefathers -  a  nationality I gained through my mother I might add....my dad was born near Le Mans. Apart from a hatred for organised religion and dunking bread in hot chocolate he influenced me little except in acquiring terminal frugality. It was my mother who influenced me most. 

 

Though I never followed her cockney appreciation for revolting jellied eels and pie and mash and "liquor" she inspired in me a love of language. She died when I was 16 and one always wonders what she might have made of my unusual choices in life. Hopefully she would have been proud especially considering the main reason I am venturing to England - to take part in the World Scrabble Championships in Torquay. It was a game she loved.

 

I have never been to the "English Riviera" and home of Fawlty Towers in my life, but the prospect of satire and sarcasm fills me large; maybe this trip will be better than others and who knows perhaps I can bring the world championship home to Thailand, the country I shall proudly represent in three dozen or more grueling games with the best wordsmiths on the planet. 

 

There will be no break in this column in the coming weeks providing China Southern gets me from Gor Gai to Hor Nok Huuk. But readers can expect a few timely comparisons between Blighty and Muang Thai.

 

It was a tumultuous week for the older Brits - and dare I say pensioners of other nationalities - when the British Embassy announced from December they would no longer issue letters confirming funds. Being a Thai resident I could smile down from on high at the hand wringing though fears about the future all seemed to come at once what with Big Joke's continuing impact on Immigration after taking up the post of head honcho. 

 

I found myself at that vast expanse of officialdom known as the Government Complex in Chaeng Wattana on Monday. Even permanent residents need an exit stamp though for me the rigmarole is non-existent - the lady even fills in the paperwork herself at lightning speed. The cost is 5,700 baht including an endorsement of my little white book. 

 

In the shadow of the new "No Tips" sign" she took five minutes to complete everything making her hourly pay 68,400 baht. With an hourly rate like that who needs tips....

 

The British Embassy letter story was one of the most commented on of the year on Thaivisa and follow up continued to be avidly read as Pattaya's Fabulous 103FM radio station said that the "easy ride" for pensioners was at an end. 

 

I am sure many would not believe their ride is necessarily easy but I have often felt that a fair proportion of the people who come to Thailand in their golden years doth protest too much. Yes, they have paid tax in their home countries and doubtless deserve their pension.

 

But what about me? I have paid millions and millions in tax here and I am not entitled to any pension anywhere. And I have contributed to the country in one way or another for nearly four decades and my rights are not so different to a pensioner just off the plane.  

 

I'm sorry but when reading some of the whining comments on the visa letter issue there is a schadenfreudian streak in "Rooster of Ratchayothin" that rings like a "som nam bloody na" bell in my head. 

 

I'd tax the pensions in Thailand to pay for their stay and introduce some reciprocal arrangements for the expats bearing in mind Thais need to learn English and English culture to settle in the UK. Why shouldn't pensioners - or anyone else who wants to settle here for that matter - not be obliged to learn a bit more Thai than "gin khao" or "thawrai" and a tad more cultural awareness than taking your shoes off at a temple?

 

I could be employed to do the teaching - call the payments my pension. 

 

By the same token this should not be a one way street. It is time that the Thais wake up and realize the huge and potentially beneficial resource that the over 50s represent. Ease restrictions on work and other things like house and small scale land ownership and the petty bureaucracies of immigration. 

 

With people productive in the west into their 80s why not get foreigners to improve English standards in schools and pass on other much needed skills learnt from whence they came?

 

Welcome them, show them respect and reap the benefits both economically and culturally - isn't that the true Thai way despite the tiresome and unwarranted claims of xenophobia on the forum.

 

Readers of this column will know that the British Embassy have never been on my Christmas Present List. I have a love hate relationship with them - I love to hate them.

 

When I first applied to take my wife to the UK on a tourist visa, a woman with a distinct German accent who interviewed us tried to keep her out. We overcame that hurdle but I always wondered how Frau Smith, or whatever her name was, got the job of arch-gatekeeper at the Embassy. (She was rather like the classic "Ian Foot" played by David Walliams in the "Come Fly With Me" series featuring his catchphrase "Keep 'em out").

 

I got far better consular service some years later when the process of getting the wife and kids to England had become - or so I thought - a yearly rubber stamp exercise. I was dumbfounded when an elderly male visa officer behind the glass told me to go away and get more evidence presumably to disprove his idea that my wife was not a whore on the game who was going to open her legs in London as soon as she landed at Heathrow. 

 

In a daze I staggered into the light of the car park at the embassy and was just preparing to go home visa-less when I saw another younger visa officer frantically waving at me. I went over and he said that he had been sitting in the next booth and heard my conversation. He said that he recognized me as I had scored a goal against the embassy team in a veterans' league football match!

 

He referred to his aging embassy colleague as, and I quote: "A complete twit". (Alright, the "i" in twit was an "a"). He asked me to hand over all my supporting documents and wait in the car park. Twenty minutes later I was on my way home with my wife's very welcome UK visa. 

 

Less welcoming this week were a number of incidents directly impacting tourists. The most serious was the gun fight in the Pratunam area where a group of Thai men produced various guns to fire indiscriminately at rivals who emerged from a snooker hall. 

 

A group of mainly Indian tourists waiting to get back on a tour bus got caught in the crossfire and one man tragically died. It was the latest serious dent in the Thai tourism industry but as many posters wryly and unkindly observed - at least he wasn't Chinese. 

 

However, this terrible event was compounded by a disgraceful - and that is putting it mildly - media event that was held to present two over-sized one million baht checks to the brother of the dead man as if he had just won a game show. The Thai Tourist Police Bureau completely missed why this might be seen as distasteful and reported it as if it were a kind gesture and the right thing to do.

 

When I saw this and was called on to translate the story I was appalled. I had to agree with one of the early posters on the story "rkidlad" who stated: "How utterly crass and abhorrent from the authorities".

 

If they had any sense they should have presented the money quietly away from the cameras.

 

Methinks that now Big Joke has left the TPB for immigration the TPB are carrying on his publicity machine without any thought about consequences let alone morality.

 

Maj-Gen Big Joke was indeed everywhere once again this week begging the question as to where tourism and sports minister Wearysak is hiding. Presumably under some litter encrusted rock in Pattaya away from the unpalatable sound of gunfire. One wonders if he would have agreed with the giant check presentations.

 

Of course with 30 million visitors - 30 billion if the TAT are to be believed - some bad things are bound to happen. There will be accidents, things will go wrong. What marks a responsible country is what reaction accrues. Do they ignore problems, pay lip service to important issues and paper over the cracks in the hope they go away perhaps with a few of those big and calming checks? Or do they accept that there is a serious problem and face the issues head on and find viable and long term solutions using a bit of common sense?

 

Readers of this column will be all too familiar that these are Rooster Rhetoricals as the former of the above two sentences is much more likely to continue than the latter. 

 

Unlike many on Thaivisa I never despair that things can't change for the better. I have seen enormous improvements in many aspects of the country over the years and as someone who cares passionately about Thailand I am always determined to say my piece and contribute as much as I can to a place I will always call home no matter what. 

 

Following the apparently successful MotoGP in Newin Chidchob's Buriram back garden last Sunday came timely news that Rooster was expecting. One of the pro riders from Britain - Scott Redding - posted selfies complaining about people in Bangkok using the sidewalk for their own impromptu motorbike races. 

 

Putting aside my suspicions about the Brit using the word "sidewalk" (I usually do myself along with apartment and gas station and sometimes even pants....) I was taken aback by his moaning and the support from Thais over the issue!

 

Us MotoGP specialists in Bangkok, Scott, wonder why those pesky pedestrians are not safe and relatively sound on buses or the BTS. What in the name of Buddha possesses them to perambulate on the precincts of our private pavements......

 

Personally when Rooster becomes pedestrian (on the streets rather than in my writing I hope) I merely expect bikers to give me a respectable right of way and not get too close to me and my two year old in her buggy. Then we can all live happily ever after, at least until the next intersection.

 

My only Rooster award of a curiouser and curiouser week is the "Alice in Thailand" prize and it goes to the Surat Thani provincial police chief Maj-Gen Apichart Bunsrirot who had the foresight to helicopter out the latest foreign tourist found floating off Koh Tao. And have the body autopsied in Bangkok - even if it was done at the Police Hospital and resulted in a no suspicious circumstances verdict.

 

And so to pack and take that plane. The last few few weeks have been quieter than usual in Rooster central with mother hen and our brood of clucking chicks seeking out the coop of comfort at the parents-in-law's battery farm in jangwat Loei. 

 

This has left Rooster with time to study and revise the nonsensical vocabulary required in order to compete in the Scrabble World Championships starting on October 23rd. Rereading Rupert Brooke's poem I was reminded of some words that I really must not forget - BOSKY, VERBOTEN and NAIAD. 

 

Hopefully the sojourn in England will work out not least of all for being a chance to enjoy all that rich and, in Thailand at least, expensive food that I often shun in the tropical climes. 

 

Yes, England my England where, especially without the missus and her sensitive nose..... 

 

Men with Splendid Farts can go. 

 

Rooster. 

 

 

-- © Copyright Thai Visa News 2018-10-13

[overherebc]

Distinct lack of sympathy for some of the older members of TV who might have upcoming problems because of the poor exchange rate that may or may not get better after Brexit combined with th BE rules that may or not change.

Your anecdote on the embassy didn't quite negate your apparent 'laughing up your sleeve' at those who don't have PR.

I will read your weekly posts with a slightly different take from now on.

[faraday]

All a bit too clever, Rooster old chap.

 

[bheard]

All good, and all the best with your scrabble vocab. BTW, "from whence" - "from" is redundant, right?

Sent from my H4133 using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[wotsdermatter]

2 hours ago, bheard said:

"from" is redundant,...?

The statement is correct.  "from" is not redundant but a necessary part of the comment.  However, "30 billion if the TAT are to be believed - " is incorrect if TAT is taken as an institution which is a singular, not a plural and it should then read, "...TAT is to be believed - ".

 

'nuf sed

[madmitch]

16 hours ago, rooster59 said:

Though I never followed her cockney appreciation for revolting jellied eels and pie and mash and "liquor"

I've yet to take the Thai family for this London delicacy, something that will be rectified on my next visit. I wonder what they'll make of Manze's in Peckham?

[Andyfez]

Safe journey on China Southern. Actually going from Gor gai to Kor kwai. If you know your Gai Kwai Kuat.

You're a braver man than me.

Actually I contemplated travelling in 3 weeks time via Eurowings till I realised their German name was in part Fartges.

My sympathy, like yours I'm sure, goes to the low income pensioners trying in many cases to support a family, as well as themselves. With very little help from the British embassy.

It just goes to show the percentage of decision making tw*ts in that institution, which we paid for over the years, has increased rather than reduced.

[Bundooman]

15 hours ago, overherebc said:

Distinct lack of sympathy for some of the older members of TV who might have upcoming problems because of the poor exchange rate that may or may not get better after Brexit combined with th BE rules that may or not change.

Your anecdote on the embassy didn't quite negate your apparent 'laughing up your sleeve' at those who don't have PR.

I will read your weekly posts with a slightly different take from now on.

Well said, overherebc. Distinctly "I'm all right Jack - look at me; how clever I am at obtaining Permanent Residence".

I'm pleased for you rooster - pleased that at least one of us Brits is going to be OK when the new rules take effect.

 

But you don't have to be so <deleted> smug about it and we definitely don't need your patronising, sneering and insultingly, crass comments.

However. you jolly well 'pop off' to good old Blighty. Enjoy yourself and then everyone here can read on your return, your condescending and sneering comments about "The land of our birth"!

 

By the way. One of my pensions is from 26 years served in the Royal Navy. You appear not to have served your country 'of birth' but you may wish to know that it is only recently that the end of the Falklands War was commemorated. Whatever your thoughts regarding Thatcher - Great Britain lost dozens of patriotic and brave members of the Armed forces. 'Down South' during that conflict.

 

You sir. haven't earned the right to criticise us pensioners and Thailand certainly hasn't earned the right to tax my Armed Forces pension either!

[Lemonltr]

I share your suspicion of 'sidewalks and gas stations' but use checks instead of cheques at your scrabble tournament and you'll be OK. 

[overherebc]

54 minutes ago, Bundooman said:

Well said, overherebc. Distinctly "I'm all right Jack - look at me; how clever I am at obtaining Permanent Residence".

I'm pleased for you rooster - pleased that at least one of us Brits is going to be OK when the new rules take effect.

 

But you don't have to be so <deleted> smug about it and we definitely don't need your patronising, sneering and insultingly, crass comments.

However. you jolly well 'pop off' to good old Blighty. Enjoy yourself and then everyone here can read on your return, your condescending and sneering comments about "The land of our birth"!

 

By the way. One of my pensions is from 26 years served in the Royal Navy. You appear not to have served your country 'of birth' but you may wish to know that it is only recently that the end of the Falklands War was commemorated. Whatever your thoughts regarding Thatcher - Great Britain lost dozens of patriotic and brave members of the Armed forces. 'Down South' during that conflict.

 

You sir. haven't earned the right to criticise us pensioners and Thailand certainly hasn't earned the right to tax my Armed Forces pension either!

Those who can, do.

Those who cannot, teach.

 

I believe the original quote used 'criticise' and not 'teach'

[simoh1490]

I hope your train stops at the border and that you take road transportation from there. I've just returned from 3 months in the UK where I took my first train journey in over 40 years and the experience was dire, not at all how remember the trains as they used to be. Cramped, crowded, absolutely no room for large luggage and utterly characterless. And, unless you book your ticket a month in advance be prepared to take out a second mortgage to pay for it, gone are the days of, oh, I think I'll nip down to London from Lancaster for some theatre....that'll be 174 quid return plus 198 Pound for a night in the Traveldoge in E1, blimey!

[Tradewind777]

Rooster I always look forward to and have enjoyed your Sunday roundup by way of “the week that was”. For the first time however, I must say, you screwed up.

 

Please in future show a greater empathy with many who have also like you, taken the plunge and set up permanent shop in a foreign land to live out their years. Security of tenure is foundational towards our sense of security. For you to issue trite patronage to the dilemma faced by many of your countrymen was nothing less than galling. 

 

[guest879]

high tax rates and no benefits were part of the reason I left Thailand. Now in NZ free schools, medical, dental and low taxes certainly make life easier. no to mention residency for my kids mum was straight forward and completed in 2 years. she can even work if she wants to.  Thailand is probably best left for retirement.

[Caine]

Boring verbal diarrhoea, my God your wife must be happy you are off to Blighty. But she may think she has gone deaf without you around. 

[Megasin1]

perhaps age is beginning to dim the senses a little, a check may be more appropriate than the likelihood of a scrabble winners cheque. i have to profess that I have never had much time for the teaching profession due to their tendency to a condescending attitude, as though we are all children. They also lack empathy, possibly from a lifetime of broadcasting with too little receiving. I too, have served my country and lost limbs in the process and I know that the Argentinians also attacked South Georgia, known to the rest of the world as South Georgia. 

[Lucky mike]

Smug comes to mind !

[NanLaew]

19 hours ago, faraday said:

All a bit too clever, Rooster old chap.

 

Yes, all a bit glib and facile.

 

Mind that your Chinese airline doesn't crash.

[Golden Triangle]

I usually enjoy your weekly column but I'm afraid you screwed up big style this time old boy, I to have served my country and receive a small but adequate (for my length of service) pension.

 

I was also a civil servant for 20+ years and receive a pension from that, I have just qualified for the state pension, unfortunately all those together do not quite make the required 800,000, I have sufficient funds in the UK but at this appalling exchange rate I will not be transferring the required amount and will for the 1st time in 7 years use an agent for my next extension of stay next year, the best we can hope for is either a successful Brexit and the exchange rate improves or there is a sudden crash in the Thai Baht, I'm not holding my breath on either.

 

Next time try and have a bit more compassion for your fellow countrymen. D- on your column I'm afraid.   

[Nobbie49]

Well said, overherebc. Distinctly "I'm all right Jack - look at me; how clever I am at obtaining Permanent Residence".
I'm pleased for you rooster - pleased that at least one of us Brits is going to be OK when the new rules take effect.
 
But you don't have to be so smug about it and we definitely don't need your patronising, sneering and insultingly, crass comments.
However. you jolly well 'pop off' to good old Blighty. Enjoy yourself and then everyone here can read on your return, your condescending and sneering comments about "The land of our birth"!
 
By the way. One of my pensions is from 26 years served in the Royal Navy. You appear not to have served your country 'of birth' but you may wish to know that it is only recently that the end of the Falklands War was commemorated. Whatever your thoughts regarding Thatcher - Great Britain lost dozens of patriotic and brave members of the Armed forces. 'Down South' during that conflict.
 
You sir. haven't earned the right to criticise us pensioners and Thailand certainly hasn't earned the right to tax my Armed Forces pension either!

Please stop watching FOX


Sent from my iPhone using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[Nobbie49]

Enormous improvements in many aspects of the country??? Errrr examples please. True, I no longer have to produce a photocopy of my passport to go to the toilet. Apart from that. Ok Thais no longer have to complete the TM7. Obviously a giant leap forward. Anything else?


Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect

[DJ54]

And your pointyour going to the Yuke......ok enjoy

[ipeterrobinson17]

In spanish-speaking countries, it will probably be known as Las Malvinas but the only reason anyone else uses that name is as a (usually underhand) way to criticize uk.

Good luck in Scrabble championship!

Sent from my MI MAX 2 using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[marko kok prong]

can't say that i care for Roosters 'crowing' over the fact that he is a Thai resident and rubbing others noses in the fact damn poor form i say.

[amdy2206]

Torquay is a wonderful place and I am sure you will enjoy it. Tge last time I was there was my 'stag night' and I am sure I will never look.at Torquay the same way again. Enjoy your holiday!

[Bundooman]

2 hours ago, Nobbie49 said:

Please stop watching FOX


Sent from my iPhone using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

PLEASE! - Shut The F... up!

[ThaiRobert3]

You could definitely write an entertaining and amusing book based on your rich and varied life experiences Rooster.

Sent from my SM-A530F using Tapatalk

[faraday]

1 hour ago, amdy2206 said:

Torquay is a wonderful place and I am sure you will enjoy it. Tge last time I was there was my 'stag night' and I am sure I will never look.at Torquay the same way again. Enjoy your holiday!

 

 

[Commercial Diver]

Good Grief

[Andrew Dwyer]

Very disappointed Rooster old chap .

 

I always read your weekly sermon and usually have a smile on my face at your summary of the weeks going’s on in LOS.

 

BUT, this week your “ holier than thou “ or “ I’m alright Jack “ attitude left a nasty taste in the mouth.

 

I fully understand your recommendations that expats should learn some of the local language and have more of an understanding of the culture but it seems this week you wanted to take it a step further and deny all affinity with your fellow countrymen.

 

Try to show more empathy with these unfortunate pensioners , not all of them have had good fortune and many struggle to live a life they wish to even after serving Queen and country !

 

[CharlieH]

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