British family's heartbreaking plea to get body home after father-of-five dies in Thailand

[webfact]

Family's heartbreaking plea to get body home after Exeter father-of-five dies in Thailand

"Everyone loved him, he was such a joker and would always take life with a pinch of salt."

By Abbie Bray

 

Kevin pictured with his children

 

The family of an Exeter dad who tragically took his own life in Thailand are trying to raise money to bring his body home so they can say their final goodbyes.

 

Father-of-five Kevin Rowlands, who had a history of mental health, took his own life on Monday while on a fishing holiday in Thailand with friends.

 

The 36-year-old's sister, Lisa Rowlands said the whole family are still in complete shock, but they have been given four days to raise the funds to bring his body back to the UK.

 

Full story: https://www.devonlive.com/news/devon-news/familys-heartbreaking-plea-body-home-2146153

 

-- DEVON LIVE 2018-10-26

 

The charity Samaritans is available around the clock for people who want to talk.

If you or anyone you know is in need of mental health services, please contact the Samaritans of Thailand at their 24-hour hotline 02-713-6791 (English), 02713-6793 (Thai) or Thai Mental Health Hotline at 1323 (Thai).

http://www.samaritansthai.com/news/samaritans-of-thailand-english-hotline/

[tominbkk]

Easier to have him cremated here and the ashes sent home.

[BobBKK]

Very sorry this happened and what a selfish thing to do, in a right frame of mind,  to his fishing friends and his family back home but disturbed people do very disturbing things. As previous poster say's cremation and farewells back home. Hope he finds some peace but his family and friends won't for a very long time.

[SoilSpoil]

Poor kids. 

[ben2talk]

It's hard to take in - I'm curious what was going on in his head. If he's prone to manic phases, he might just have decided that his family and friends were better off without him.

 

Sad story - but I don't think wasting money bringing a body home is going to prove much of a salve. This is something that will mark everyone for life.

[evadgib]

Extremely sad for everyone involved.

[jossthaifarang]

It's so hard for me to understand, how a man can do such a thing to his children. His youngest will grow up without ever knowing his father, which is bad enough but the other four will never forget this, and at some point may even begin thinking it may have somehow been there fault. 

 

Really selfish thing to do mate..

[Docno]

18 minutes ago, jossthaifarang said:

It's so hard for me to understand, how a man can do such a thing to his children. His youngest will grow up without ever knowing his father, which is bad enough but the other four will never forget this, and at some point may even begin thinking it may have somehow been there fault. 

 

Really selfish thing to do mate..

I see your point, but we can't expect someone suffering from apparent mental illness to have such rationale thoughts as you're describing. 

[grumbleweed]

No qualms about flying the Air Miles Andy to distant golf courses and Big Ears to collect his award for saving the environment But can't afford to help bereaved families

[cardinalblue]

Cremation is the practical and rationale thing to do...someone in his fishing party must have some common sense...

 

mental health is another topic...

[Pedrogaz]

Have him cremated here. You can have it done for much less than in the UK. 

I have never understood this business with flying bodies home. My ex in the US was aghast when I told her I planned to be cremated here in Thailand. I asked her why she cared what happened to my ashes after I died, I certainly don't care, so why should she? 

[from the home of CC]

6 hours ago, tominbkk said:

Easier to have him cremated here and the ashes sent home.

RIP - instead of spending all that money for flying the body it should be directed to raising those kids. 

[Artisi]

9 minutes ago, from the home of CC said:

RIP - instead of spending all that money for flying the body it should be directed to raising those kids. 

I agree, cremate here and send his ashes back by mail, (registered of course) and put the money to good use, his kids. 

[Dave67]

Those who call him selfish know nothing about depression.

[Teee]

RIP young man...so sorry for his kids.

But...

Im sure the British Embassy will give all the help his family needs in getting this poor lads body home.

 

[ukrules]

20 minutes ago, Dave67 said:

Those who call him selfish know nothing about depression.

Well that's going to be nearly everyone, so don't be surprised that a very large proportion of people think it's very selfish.

 

I think it was a very selfish thing to do, and no, I have no idea about it.

 

If someone I know kills themselves I won't even bother to go to the funeral.

[Jonmarleesco]

7 hours ago, webfact said:

he ... would always take life with a pinch of salt."

Apparently not a sufficiently large one. 

[Dave67]

2 minutes ago, ukrules said:

Well that's going to be nearly everyone, so don't be surprised that a very large proportion of people think it's very selfish.

 

I think it was a very selfish thing to do, and no, I have no idea about it.

 

If someone I know kills themselves I won't even bother to go to the funeral.

Selfish to have a mental illness ?

[natway09]

Very Sad.

The family needs to wake up though, cremate here , they really do know how to do it 

& take him home in a small suitcase with the papers issued by the crematorium (they have the English forms as well)

Then say your goodbyes at a service somewhere

Really very  expensive & a bit stupid to try & take the embalmed body back

[Bluespunk]

6 hours ago, ben2talk said:

It's hard to take in - I'm curious what was going on in his head. If he's prone to manic phases, he might just have decided that his family and friends were better off without him.

 

Sad story - but I don't think wasting money bringing a body home is going to prove much of a salve. This is something that will mark everyone for life.

Whether bringing the body home will or will not act as a “salve”, or if it is a worthwhile use of money, is something his family alone can decide. 

[Leef]

He was not selfish. Calling him selfish is ignorant. He was mentally ill whether it was with depression or some other illness. 

Edited October 26, 2018 by Leef

[JimP]

7 hours ago, BobBKK said:

Very sorry this happened and what a selfish thing to do, in a right frame of mind,  to his fishing friends and his family back home but disturbed people do very disturbing things. As previous poster say's cremation and farewells back home. Hope he finds some peace but his family and friends won't for a very long time.

I am always amazed by how uniformed posters call suicides 'selfish.'  They are in pain, and feel the only way to relieve it is by killing themselves.  Try it. It takes huge balls to do what he did.  Try it.  See how 'selfish' you think it is. 

Edited October 26, 2018 by JimP

[jgarbo]

8 hours ago, tominbkk said:

Easier to have him cremated here and the ashes sent home.

Right. Dead is dead. Good Christians surely wouldn't burden others with an unnecessary expense, right?

[Scouse123]

Guys,

 

I will not comment on the suicide as I am not a doctor and do not have sufficient knowledge of mental illness.

 

What I can comment on and with some authority, is the returning of the body to the U.K. and what to expect these days in the UK.

 

I was unfortunate enough to lose my mother and sister in rapid succession this year and of course, flew back twice to attend funerals. What I can tell you is that both of them were cremated, which has become the popular way of funerals in my hometown. These funerals were both in the region of 7,000 GBP plus.

 

I found them rushed, very much a conveyor belt type of service with people almost rushing you out of the door to make way for the next one coming in. I think on hindsight, I would rather have had a burial for my mother and sister, but that is a personal choice and both had funeral plans to cover everything in the event of death. What I did say to my children whilst in the UK, is that if I pass away in Thailand, I will be cremated here and the ashes were to go to my Thai partner to do with as she wishes.

 

When I go,  the funeral is in Thailand at my expense for all food and drink for a three-day festival here. They can do as pleases them in Thai culture with the ashes. My UK family has been informed. If anything goes to the UK, it will be ashes in an urn! I would just like to finish by informing board members that the funeral home, for the above amounts of money and two funerals from the same family, gave us two bags with ashes in cardboard boxes, they even couldn't find it in their budget to provide urns! I mentioned to them had they told us urns were not provided, we would have given them money for said items.

 

I would not be asking the public for funds to fly a body back or crowdfunding if I was in his family's position, if they haven't the funds, then cremate here and have a memorial service back home.

Edited October 26, 2018 by Scouse123

[crazyk]

I agree about having him cremated here then send the ashes for a service,it costs a fortune to repatriate a corpse & a lot of airlines will not do it,I was on a flight back to UK & a woman next to me seemed to be talking to herself,I thought she was doolally, she must of realised what I was thinking & the way I was looking at her,then she showed me an urn with her dad's ashes in,mind you I still thought she was doolally talking to an urn

[faraday]

It isn't selfish.

 

He committed suicide while the balance of his mind was disturbed.

 

The poor man must have been in absolute turmoil mentally.

 

My mum & dad died 2 & 5 years ago tomorrow, & my sister, last year, brought over 2 small boxes with some of their ashes in. It comforts me at times.

 

There's little point to his family bringing home his body, the expense is unnecessary.

[iste]

Very sad indeed, for all concerned.

[DJ54]

R.I.P. young man will say prays for your wife and children...

[Hook]

Feel sorry for the family and friends for there loss like many have said not a good place to do such a thing.

[jvs]

2 hours ago, ukrules said:

Well that's going to be nearly everyone, so don't be surprised that a very large proportion of people think it's very selfish.

 

I think it was a very selfish thing to do, and no, I have no idea about it.

 

If someone I know kills themselves I won't even bother to go to the funeral.

Well you certainly chose the right signature.