Complicated Situation - Need QUICK adoption/guardianship

[TonyClifton]

I'm still married, soon to be amicably divorced.  We took care of a little Thai girl for almost 2 years.  

Baby Girl is almost 3.5 years.

 

Her mother and father were both in prison for selling drugs to a policeman.  Mother is Thai, Father is Laotian.  Both got 6 years.  The baby girl was born in prison and lived with the mother for 10 months.  Grandma comes to visit, they hand over the child and all papers.  Grandma brings baby girl to Bangkok.  Now we had her. Wife decides in February of this year she can't live here anymore, so she heads north with the baby girl, and gives the baby girl back to grandma.  The baby girl's mother is not a blood relative of anyone.  The family kept her when her drug-addicted hooker mother left her with them.  Really, you can't make this up. 

 

Fast forward to July and the baby girl's mother is released from prison.  Father wasn't so good so he's still in prison.  Baby girl's mother gets a job in two days waitressing, then gets a job offer from the prison.  Yeah, the prison hired her to work in the administrative office.  

 

Grandma is still taking care of the little girl.  Grandma isn't taking good care of her.  The mother doesn't give a damn and doesn't care for her.  The little girl calls her real mother, sister.  My wife stopped taking care of her when she went north and dropped her with grandma.  

 

The baby girl calls me daddy and my wife she calls mommy.  Again, she isn't related.  

 

When my wife left our 11-year-old son and me, she took the girl with her.  I had no say in the matter. It wasn't what I wanted but I had little choice.  I warned my wife that leaving her with my wife's mother would ruin her.  That little girl spoke both Thai and English and was smart.  

 

Now no one watches her.  My wife called me in tears last week to tell me she went to see what was going on and the 3.5-year-old girl was out with no supervision playing with another neighborhood child who also had no supervision.  In short, she asked me to take her back.  I didn't, but I can't just turn my back either.  I can't care for her by myself.  Today she sends me a video of her wandering the WAT across the street from the shanty where Grandma lives and again she is just wandering by herself.  My wife has admitted that I was right all along and now she feels guilty for taking her and not being "mommy" anymore.  Duh.

 

My X in America wants her.  She makes plenty of money and can give her a good life.  The real mother is willing to give her up.  I assume the father is of a character low enough that he too will give up his child.  They have another child that the father's parents in Laos have.  

 

Try to make up a story like this.  I keep saying I'll write the screenplay for what happened to my son and me 9 years ago, but the saga continues.  I can't turn away.

 

How can my X who is American, come to Thailand and take her back to the USA? Does she need to adopt her or just get guardianship of her?  If she takes her to America she will not ever bring her back, nor should she.  She can't just show up to JFK with a little girl who has no ID nor passport.  

 

How can it be done?

[Frogmountain]

What you are seeking is known as a named adoption, where potential adoptive parents seek to adopt a child they already know. You will need to contact the DSDW, the Thai agency that handles adoptions. Search my earlier posts for contact info. 

First, there's no chance any adoption anywhere could be done in a few days' or weeks' time. 

Second, U.S. citizenship laws regarding adoption from Thailand are complicated and it will be a challenge to finalize the adoption in the U.S. And neither the Thai nor the U.S. authorities will let your ex travel with a child who's not hers without an awful lot of paperwork.

Your best bet may be to get the parents to surrender their rights and name YOU the guardian/foster parent. Since you live in Thailand, you could pursue the necessary paperwork while caring for the child. 

Hire a nanny, get a bigger place and put the child in preschool. Get your ex to help with expenses. 

Good luck. 

 

 

[TonyClifton]

21 hours ago, Frogmountain said:

What you are seeking is known as a named adoption, where potential adoptive parents seek to adopt a child they already know. You will need to contact the DSDW, the Thai agency that handles adoptions. Search my earlier posts for contact info. 

First, there's no chance any adoption anywhere could be done in a few days' or weeks' time. 

Second, U.S. citizenship laws regarding adoption from Thailand are complicated and it will be a challenge to finalize the adoption in the U.S. And neither the Thai nor the U.S. authorities will let your ex travel with a child who's not hers without an awful lot of paperwork.

Your best bet may be to get the parents to surrender their rights and name YOU the guardian/foster parent. Since you live in Thailand, you could pursue the necessary paperwork while caring for the child. 

Hire a nanny, get a bigger place and put the child in preschool. Get your ex to help with expenses. 

Good luck. 

 

 

Good info.  My current wife, not yet my ex, hits me up for cash.  If it flowed the other way, I will open a pure ice company in Hell as it will have frozen over.  I took care of her for 2 years already.  I always knew she wasn't legally mine but never figured the mother would be such a sh&t to not care about her own daughter.  The father has never seen nor met her.