My Wife Is Gambling

[BurgerGung]

Well, doing nothing is not an option. Get outta there so that one parent will have the strength to support the son.

[swissie]

Legal experts tell us.

Can OP (legally) insist on an asset division in Thailand? Time is of the essence.
If not possible, when the loan sharks come knocking on the door, OP may have to grab his kid and leave Thailand in a hurry as he nor the kid will have any future in Thailand left.

[Patriot1066]

Just now, swissie said:

Legal experts tell us.

Can OP (legally) insist on an asset division in Thailand? Time is of the essence.
If not possible, when the loan sharks come knocking on the door, OP may have to grab his kid and leave Thailand in a hurry as he nor the kid will have any future in Thailand left.

I don’t think if he could the loan sharks if any would care it’s a bit of a mess isn’t it for both of them!

[Denim]

Dangerous problem. It's one thing to gamble away the money you have. But it gets worse if you start gambling with money you don't have leaving you both in debt where you lose everything.

 

I thinkI I would prefer infidelity to a gambling problem since with the former you might lose your wife but with the latter you can lose more than everything.

 

Hard decisions need to be made and applied immediately. Although, once it has gotten bad enough to ask advice about it is usually too late.

 

Best you can do is cut off the cash flow tap immediately and explain that if this continues you will have to leave and return to your own country to protect yourself from coming fallout.

 

Save as much as you can from the coming wreck and make it clear that your love is not a license for unreasonable behavior.

[CanuckThai]

A thorough audit....best to know where you (and the wife) truly stand.  It makes it easier to communicate the situation you are in, and what remediation (financial/relationship/trust) is necessary to move forward.   Sorry to hear, I've been through similar with a family member... the truth of a bad (hidden) gambling run can be shocking

[balo]

I think the best advice would be to let her continue running the small business on the side and tell her that is the only money she will get  .

Then maybe she will realize she has to save money instead of gambling it away.

Your own bank account you must change your online passwords now , she must not have access to your own money. 

 

 

[swissie]

Some complain to have a "rambling"-wife. Stop complaining. Much better than having a "gambling-wife".

I sympathise with the OP's plight.

[cyberfarang]

8 hours ago, Brewster67 said:

I have demanded all the money from the businesses be immediately put into my bank account, she has no legal access to it although she does know my online banking logins, however she would know I would challenge any withdrawals... But she is a very good accountant, and i know how far a gambling addict will go to cover up their habit, and that would include creative accounting and diverting a % of the funds to her own bank account.

 

With regard to investing, I don't need to invest any more. I already invested in equipment and setup costs to the tune of about 400K a few years back, and those business have made back at least a couple of million and continues to provide us with a fairly comfortable albeit modest existence.

You`re up a gum tree my friend.

 

If you have invested money and are living off the proceeds of those businesses that are in your Thai wife`s name, and not under a company name whereas you are listed as a share holder in those companies and not paying your share in tax on the earnings, then you have no jurisdiction over those companies whatsoever and legally your wife can do what she pleases with the money and has no legal obligation to pay any of those monies into your account.

 

So if this progresses to a court, you have no case.

 

Your options are limited, because your wife holds the trump cards and I`m willing to bet she already knows this.

 

If your wife refuses to cease and desist from plying her earnings from businesses into these so-called trading sites, then all you can do s plead with her to stop and if she gives this a higher priority than her marriage to you and your child, this means the relationship has failed and you either have a choice of letting her get on with it or leaving.

[rumak]

12 hours ago, marqus12 said:

stupid cow 

I have a similar type, I keep her without money and working

stupid post..................constructive criticism is one thing.   Just throwing names at people is

mean.   

[rumak]

12 hours ago, Psimbo said:

I'd be more surprised by a 'My Wife is NOT Gambling' thread.

another stupid post

[SteveK]

Cutting off all money will cause resentment, and huge loss of face.

 

Taper the money down to a tiny amount, slowly, and try to let her see that she cannot win. But let her find that out for "herself" to save face.

 

If she won't agree or fights, you've got a problem on your hands, addiction is a terrible, terrible thing for a human to endure.

 

Ultimately, and this will be hard to swallow, you MUST be prepared to leave the situation. If it becomes toxic, you need to get out fast, you don't know who she has borrowed from.

 

And as much as I love and trust my wife, I would NEVER give her any passwords. If she wants. Joint account that's fine, but giving your banking passwords to someone with a gambling addiction, wife or not, is akin to putting your scrotum on the train tracks and playing chicken. One day you will lose, and lose big.

[dotpoom]

There are AA ...GA...and ..NA...meetings in Thailand.

[jacob1950]

I has the same problem a  couple years ago with my wive,the village pipel warned me about this,and i checking my assets.She made a loan on my condo papers(somebody set my name as he was me,she borrow 2 million baht,,and after 6 moths i was confronted with the debt on the bank.I pay every baht in debt and get my papers back.But after she promissed to stop with gambling she go on.The final was a confrontage with a loan sharks collectors and i loose my house,truck and car in 4 moths,i divorced and now i have to pay her 4.750.000  by court order as 1/2 the price off my lost house.I told the judge i refused to pay and my laywer told him in a closed session the hole story,now i am free ans live a happy live allone. I wish the OP good luck.

[alien365]

Do you know why she started?  Was she tempted into it by friends? By knowing what made her start in the first place may help stop it. 

[cms22]

I feel for you. My wife gaambled more than one million baht and we had many problems about it. But her problem was different: it was her friends. I resolved the problem but moving house to a completely new area, far away from her 'friends'. We are so much happier now. I suspect some sort of similar major change is required to resolve your problem. I hope you can work it out.

[namatjira]

Type into google....forex trading fraud.......then read the articles.

its a total scam .... it’s not just Thai people that are conned by this 

IQ trading bullshit....... dangerous fraud......to catch the unaware.

 

[leither69]

Asking for advice then making excuses for her is the first step on a downwards spiral. Stop it now or expect you lose the lot

[OneMoreFarang]

I have no solution but maybe a few thoughts:

a) When did she start gambling? Was is just recently?

b) Does she feel bad that she lost money and she wants to win to pay money back?

c) Does she love the thrill of the game?

 

If it's b) and she wants to win the money back which she lost make sure you tell her you don't care about the lost money as long as she stops now.

 

If she loves gambling in general maybe you can direct her gambling in another direction. I.e. my girlfriend also likes gambling and sometimes she plays cards all night. She enjoys it a lot and sometimes she wins and sometimes she loses. But if she loses it's normally not more than 1,000B or something in that area. I have no problem with such an amount, I spend more if I go out for a night.

 

I guess the more you understand why she does what she does the more you can help her. And worst case you have to settle with the knowledge that you tried but can't help her.

 

Good luck!

[Tchooptip]

20 hours ago, Ned said:

This will end with you and your child penniless and your wife behind bars.

 

Ah here is a positive answer Pffffff no it will not like you say OP is doing it in time and it will get better I wish him in any case, not like some nasty crows

[Tchooptip]

20 hours ago, BestB said:

What you need is to find a Thai , with a status such as a lawyer or a doctor to confirm this binary trading is a scam .

 

once she hears from a Thai with a status , she will stop. Until then she will go on and on. If you get all the money, she will go borrow it.

Maybe a monk to say it's against Buddhism and not good for her Karma. And if she continues all her future possible good luck will desert her.

[Darkside Gray]

Been through it twice, its a disease, ditch her now, take the kids with you.

[phantomfiddler]

Get out while you can !

[fanjita]

1 minute ago, phantomfiddler said:

Get out while you can !

Okay, the OP has asked for advice and you've provided it, but it's not that simple in the first instance.  There's a plan B that requires exploration and that's what the OP is looking for.  

 

I wouldn't advise anyone to leave and divorce just yet.

[OneMoreFarang]

10 minutes ago, fanjita said:

Okay, the OP has asked for advice and you've provided it, but it's not that simple in the first instance.  There's a plan B that requires exploration and that's what the OP is looking for.  

 

I wouldn't advise anyone to leave and divorce just yet.

I guess it won't hurt if his wife knows that what she does is sooooooo bad that he might walk out. Maybe that makes her think again.

I think lots of people with bad habits think it's just a minor flaw, not really important. But some things are really important! She must know how he feels about this.

[Tchooptip]

1 hour ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I have no solution but maybe a few thoughts:

a) When did she start gambling? Was is just recently?

b) Does she feel bad that she lost money and she wants to win to pay money back?

c) Does she love the thrill of the game?

 

If it's b) and she wants to win the money back which she lost make sure you tell her you don't care about the lost money as long as she stops now.

 

If she loves gambling in general maybe you can direct her gambling in another direction. I.e. my girlfriend also likes gambling and sometimes she plays cards all night. She enjoys it a lot and sometimes she wins and sometimes she loses. But if she loses it's normally not more than 1,000B or something in that area. I have no problem with such an amount, I spend more if I go out for a night.

 

I guess the more you understand why she does what she does the more you can help her. And worst case you have to settle with the knowledge that you tried but can't help her.

 

Good luck!

I'll call that a positive mind's answer, refreshing sometimes on TV 

[fanjita]

5 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I guess it won't hurt if his wife knows that what she does is sooooooo bad that he might walk out. Maybe that makes her think again.

I concur.  It won't hurt for the OP's wife to understand the final solution could be divorce but just no point in ranting and raving at this juncture.  

[Proboscis]

i cannot be sure about Thailand but in some other countries the debts of one marriage partner are shared between both. If this is true of Thailand, then get divorced. Otherwise, she will gamble away all assets she can lay her hands on - remember, Thais can never be wrong and she would lose face no matter what the evidence if she were wrong about this options trading site or if she were not learning it like she claims.

 

The problem then becomes, after all the money and assets are gone, that she will start borrowing money based on the fact that she is married to a falang. Then they come for you.

 

Futures and options market skills involves a highly specialised area of maths that relatively few folks master - unless she has a masters degree in maths or a similar area in finance, then she has no business getting involved. Also, because the market can give rise to high returns and high loses, it attracts gamblers and criminals who prey on those with a problem or who like to swindle those who dont understand how the market works.

 

[catman20]

ho the wonderful joys of being married. time to get out enough said.

[catman20]

16 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I guess it won't hurt if his wife knows that what she does is sooooooo bad that he might walk out. Maybe that makes her think again.

I think lots of people with bad habits think it's just a minor flaw, not really important. But some things are really important! She must know how he feels about this.

she properly dose but does not care.

[crazykopite]

Feel for you fella up until a few months ago the house next to mine was a gambling hole from 10 in the morning until 10 at night people were openly gambling mainly on the cards in this group were government workers as well as policemen come late afternoon you could hear those who were having a bad day shouting and banging on the tables nevertheless they were back the next day. Gambling in the Kingdom seems to be getting worse by the day but what makes it worse is that it’s all behind closed doors the Thai government need to step in and try and sort the problem out before it’s to late. I hope that you can talk your wife into admitting that she has a gambling problem that my friend would be the first step to trying to overcome ones addiction .