A few days before his proctological exam, a one eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye. He was worried for a while, but there were no ill effects, so he forgot about it.
Once he was in the doctor's office, the man followed instructions, undressed, and bent over. The first thing the proctologist saw when he looked up the man's rear was that eye staring right back at him.

"You know, " said the doctor, "you really have to learn to trust me.

I’ve just been to an indoor fairground where none of us knew what any of the rides did!
Then I realised it was a bemusement arcade.

I've just opened a new account at the Bank of Bonsai.
It's like a regular bank but they have smaller branches.

I've started a joinery business making sheds for chickens and rabbits.

I promise I'll give you a good run for your money.

I was sat in the park wondering what kind of crows were around my feet, when one said "ooo, matron" and another said " infamy infamy, they've all got it in for me".

They must be Carrion Crows

A husband and wife who work for the circus go to an adoption agency.
The Social workers raise doubts about the living conditions in a circus, but the couple produce photos of their 50-foot luxury motor home, which is clean and well-maintained and equipped with a beautiful nursery.
The Social workers also raise concerns about the education a child would receive while in the couple's care.
"We've arranged for a full-time tutor who will teach the child all the usual subjects along with French, Mandarin and computer skills".
Then the social workers express concern about a child being raised in a circus environment.
"Our nanny is a certified expert in Paediatric care, Welfare and Diet".
The social workers are finally satisfied and ask "What age child are you hoping to adopt?"

They said “It doesn't really matter, as long as they can fit in the cannon".

If this actually needed a sign there's really no hope!

 

4 hours ago, dcsw53 said:

Here is all the proof you need,the world is not flat!