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Worst Joke Ever 2026

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Our local supermarket has had a makeover and they’ve created what they call immersive shopping experience.

As you walk into the shop, you pass beautifully stacked fruits and vegetables in a light cloud of mist. Go to the oranges and there’s a gentle, sweet smell of freshly squeezed orange juice. Around the potato, there the smell of newly fried chips.

Get to the deli counter and your senses are triggered by the sound and aroma of sizzling bacon. The fish counter has gentle sounds of the ocean, with gulls crowing. Go for some eggs and there’s the sound of free range chickens clucking and pecking. The smell in the coffee aisle is amazing; a strong aroma of the finest freshly ground coffee.

The checkouts are flat out. There’s queues to park, queues in the aisles and the tills are crammed. They’ve never taken so much cash.

On the downside, sales of toilet paper have collapsed.

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Rumour has it that the floods in Pakistan were deliberate, and caused by a Suicide Plumber.

22 hours ago, jvs said:

That is when the left foot points towards the 3 and the right foot points towards the 9?

Or am i getting it wrong?

 

Just wait ....everything will open up and become clearer.

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54 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

Corduroy pillows. They're making headlines!

That creased me up!

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2 hours ago, DezLez said:

That creased me up!

I should have cushioned the punchline.

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18 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

I should have cushioned the punchline.

I do so love your pillow talk!

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2 hours ago, DezLez said:

I do so love your pillow talk!

I like talking down to people

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14 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

I like talking down to people

It maybe a case of what is good for the goose is worth a gander!

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45 minutes ago, DezLez said:

It maybe a case of what is good for the goose is worth a gander!

Aagh a fowl joke!

29 minutes ago, VocalNeal said:

Aagh a fowl joke!

I was going to sleep on my previous post but I chickened out as I though I might have ruffled enough feathers without an eggsplanation!

^ an even worse yolk.???? 

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2 hours ago, VocalNeal said:

^ an even worse yolk.???? 

I try to scramble them up but somebody has to crack em!

 

If you give me a timer I'll see if I can whisk up a few more before I reach boiling point.

 

Always assuming of course that you don't poach any of them before I get time to hatch a few new ones or shell out for some cracking new ideas that will fry your brains!

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