A mate of mine used to be in a band called The Hinges. They never made the big time, but they supported The Doors.

I got a asked to leave karaoke night for singing “Danger Zone” seven times in a row. I had exceeded the allowed number of Loggins attempts.

John Lennon had a secret art collection, painted entirely in mauve, lilac, violet and lavender. Imagine all the purple…

When I came out of the operating theatre I could hear cool jazz music. Don't worry said the surgeon, that's just your new hip joint.

Have you been hit with a rhythm stick?

 

If so, you could be entitled to compensation if you make a personal Ian Dury claim.

Police found the local ice cream man dead in his van covered in raspberry sauce, nuts and hundreds & thousands.

 

They think he topped himself…