What a beautiful day for dashing out to Trafalgar Square, chucking a bucket of whitewash over the pigeons and saying,

‘There you are, how do you like it?’

 

PS;  No prizes for guessing this UK TV comedian!
 

The average AN Poster?

I was going to take the dog to an obedience class;

But it wouldn’t go.

My girlfriend and I made love for 3 hours last night.
We did a role-play of a doctor and a patient.
I made her stay in the waiting/bath room for 2 hours 56 minutes and then completed my longest ever sex session!

 

Can I claim a record!

 

 

INCONCLUSIVE STUDY RESULTS ARE IN!

A recent scientific study has just published a report that found pregnant women who use vibrators are 90% more likely to have a child who stutters!

Wishful thinking!

I went to a psychic the other day and asker her if I was gonna go to jail in the future!

She said no!

So I robbed her!

There are at least 50 varieties of Barbie dolls.

 

Why is there no "pregnant Barbie"?

 

Because Ken comes in a different box.

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What's four inches long, two inches wide and always disappoints women?

An empty toilet roll

A new supermarket opened near me a few weeks ago.

They’re trying a new thing: immersion! For example, when you stop by the deli you can smell fresh grass and hear cows mooing, at the fish section you smell sea salt and feel a small bit of spray on your face, and at the fruit stall you can see mist on the apples, and smell fields of oranges and pears.

I don’t get my toilet rolls there anymore.

27 minutes ago, Zyxel said:

Let me check my watch. Yep, as old as I was 30 seconds ago.

 

In my new book " from crack head to chairman"

I explain how to advance in life while creating a family brand.

 

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MoonLighting................

 

 

 

I will have to try this Ya-bah stuff...I have a job just getting out of bed in the morning.......

 

 

 

 

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