Some people are very helpful!

53 minutes ago, ravip said:

But that trumpet's rendition of fly me to the Moon really lifted me!

Well caught, that whale!

 

 

A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.

“I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds.”

When the blonde returns, she’s lost nearly 20 pounds.

“Wow, that’s amazing!” the doctor says.

“Did you follow my instructions?”

The blonde nods…

“I’ll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."

“From hunger, you mean?” said the doctor.

“No, from skipping,” replied the blonde.

Burned feet cooking beans.

“Open package. Stand in boiling water for 20min”