27 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

Just like glass milk bottles... 

Donald Trump and Joe Biden ended up at the same barber shop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken.

 

The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn nasty. As the barbers finished their shaves in silence, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave. But Donald was quick to stop him, jokingly saying, "No thanks. My wife, Melania, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel."

 

The second barber turned to Joe and said, "How about you, Mr. Biden?" Joe replied, "Go right ahead, my wife, Jill, doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like."

One for Bwits.

 

Aussie router!

 

An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world. 

So, he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to Orlando, thinking that he would start by working his way across the USA from North to South.

On his first day, he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read.
'$10,000 per call'.  

The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for. 

The priest replied.
"That is a direct line to Heaven and for $10,000 you can talk to God". 

The American thanked the priest and went along his way. 

Next stop was in Atlanta.
There, in a very large cathedral, he saw another golden telephone, with the same sign under it.

He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Orlando and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was.  

She told him.
"That is a direct line to Heaven and for $10,000 you can talk to God". 

"OK, thank you,"
said the American.  

He then travelled all across America, then onto Europe, England, Japan, and New Zealand. 

In every church he saw an identical golden telephone with the same.
'$10,000 per call'
sign under it.  

The American decided to travel to Thailand, to see if Thailand had the same phone. 

After he landed in Thailand, he went into the first church he found.
There was the golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read.
'40 Cents per call.' 

The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign.

"Father, I've travelled all over the world and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches.
I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in all of them the price was $10,000 per call". 

"Why is it so cheap here?"

The priest smiled and answered.
"You're in Thailand now son......."

"THIS IS HEAVEN,"

"so it's a local call’.🤣

11 hours ago, ballpoint said:

 

I think they borrowed that idea from here......1985  "Better Off Dead"

 

 

 

1 minute ago, roo860 said:

Well it ain't a woodypecker