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'Go Around' scenario #37 

 

 

To be held in Thailand of course.

A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his community.

All went well until he came to one house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he knocked several times. Finally, he took out his card, wrote on the back "Revelation 3:20" (Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If any man hear my voice, and opens the door, I will come into him, and will dine with him, and he with me.) and stuck it in the door.

The next day, as he was counting the offering he found his card in the collection plate. Below his message was a notation, "Genesis 3:10.” Upon opening his Bible to the passage he let out a roar of laughter. (And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked.)

A rich man and a poor man are Christmas shopping

A rich man and a poor man are Christmas shopping on Madison Avenue when they run into each other and talk about the gifts they've bought their wives.

The poor man asks the rich man what he got his wife for Christmas and the rich man says "I got my wife a diamond ring and a Mercedes Benz"

The poor man says "that's nice, but what did you get her the Mercedes Benz for if you got her the diamond ring?"

The rich man says "If she doesn't like the ring she can drive back to the jewellery store in her new Benz and pick out one she likes"

The poor man remarks how nice it must be to be able to afford that for your wife when the rich man asks "well what did you get your wife?"

The poor man says "I got her a new pair of slippers and a <deleted>"

The rich man asks "What did you get her the <deleted> for if you got her the pair of slippers?"

The poor man says "Well, if she doesn't like the slippers she can go f*** herself"

The driver of a huge trailer lost control of his rig, and plowed into an empty toll booth, smashing it to pieces. 
Sometime after the driver had reported the damage, he watched as a repair truck pulled up and discharged a crew of workers. 
They picked up each broken piece of the wreckage and spread a creamy substance on it. 
Then they began fitting the pieces together. 
In less than a half hour, they had the entire tollbooth reconstructed and looking good as new. 
“Astonishing!” said the truck driver to the crew chief. “What was the white stuff you used to stick all the pieces together?” 
The crew chief said, “Oh, that was tollgate booth paste.”

My wife hates it when I say,

"You're just like your mother!"

Actually, she hates it when I say anything during sex!

I need someone to help me sort out the terrible condensation problem in my kitchen...

Pop round anytime. The kettle's always on!

Aladdin has been banned from the magic carpet race...

Apparently he has been using performance enhancing rugs!

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Product recall........The new Escher GPS is currently causing some problems for motorists in urban areas